"Know Your Stars: The Total Drama Edition"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I do not own the entire Total Drama series or All That. Nuff said. Let's get to it.

Chapter 1: Courtney

"Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars..." The announcer said as Courtney was sitting in a seat all by herself. Her mind was wandering all around the studio wondering who that voice was.

"Who in the heck was that?" Courtney shouted. "Duncan, that better not even be you! Because if it is, I will slaughter you!"

"Duncan's not here... it's just me..." The Know Your Stars announcer spoke once again in creepy fashion as Courtney felt a little frustrated.

"You better not be some sort of pedophile or something!" Courtney exclaimed as her teeth was gritting with anger. "I shouldn't even be here anyway! I should be out there destroying Heather for stealing away my Alejandro!"

"Well... she's not." The announcer smirked as he went about through his introductions. "Courtney... she was born a man!"

"I was not born a man! I was born 100% woman here!" the CIT shot back aggressively as she crossed her arms.

"That's not what this birth certificate says. It says here that you were born a man..." The announcer teased once again as he showed Courtney her birth certificate. It seemed the space that contained what gender Courtney was happened to be an 'M' pasted over the 'F'.

"Oh, come on! This is false!" Courtney exclaimed once again as she showed the birth certificate with a finger pointing to the gender category. "Look at this, you just pasted an M over the F with Wite-Out!"

"No, I didn't." the announcer said.

"Yes, you did!" Courtney exclaimed angrily.

"Well, that's your opinion. Courtney... is a whiny little bitch." The announcer teased once again. Courtney was gonna lose her cool for sure.

"I AM NOT A WHINY LITTLE BITCH!" Courtney yelled and whined right at the announcer's face.

"Well, well, well... you do certainly act like one." The announcer replied in a sarcastic tone.

"I'm telling you, I'm not!" Courtney exclaimed once again, "You're making me act like one when in reality, I'm not! I'm really sweet on the outside!"

"Really, then you might wanna hear this..." The announcer replied as Courtney soon cut him off.

"Forget it, there's nothing you have to say to me. All this crap I know is false!" Courtney spoke out, defending herself as usual.

"Well, too bad. Courtney... She screams at little babies!"

"Okay, I just had about enough of you! You know what? You're nothing but a heartless piece of scum that nobody even loves, even if you we're around them! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT TRASH!" Courtney screamed at the announcer with such hatred in her voice, "YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY BEFORE I USE YOUR VOCAL CORDS AS SUSHI?"

"Yeah..." the announcer said with an evil smirk, "Look down."

As Courtney looked down, all she heard was a crying baby right near her feet.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The baby cried loudly as Courtney felt a little irritated by the sight.

"Did you do this while I wasn't looking?" Courtney shouted in a threatening tone right to the announcer.

"Don't ask me, ask the mother..." The announcer spoke in such interesting fashion as Courtney turned right to the baby's mother. She looked very middle-aged, black and very enraged.

"You screamin' at my baby?" the ghetto mom said right to her.

"What in the hell are you-" Courtney responded back, but she was cut off once again by the baby's momma once again.

"I said, are you screamin' at my baby?" the baby's momma said once again as Courtney was still trying to explain herself once again.

"No! What kind of crap is he telling-" Courtney was cut off again.

This time, the baby's momma smacked the CIT silly right in the face. Courtney even spun around like a tornado just for good measure and went right down to the floor.

"If you go screamin' at my baby again, I come back and slap you so silly, you wish you be wearin' an ass fo' a hat!" The baby's momma told off an unconscious Courtney and soon took the baby with her.

"I... never screamed at her... ma'am..." Courtney spoke as she slowly narrowed her head right up before taking a defeated state of unconsciousness again. "OOOOF!"

"And now you know Courtney, the whiny little bitchy man who got slapped by it's baby's momma! That's right! That's how we roll up in the hood!" The announcer teased Courtney once again with her body still laid right on her back.

There goes the neighborhood indeed... Next up will be Duncan's turn right after you read and review! Woo woo woo, you know it!