Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi! Tis I, back from my long, hours of volunteer work and summer reading! Now all I have to do is write four pages detailing on what I read and what it means, then read Poor Richard's Almanac and add those ideas, then finish up at least three or four more hours on summer math. It's summer, why do you have to torture us? It's hot enough outside, and I live in Texas!
Whatever, this is a new project I'm working on! I hope ya'll enjoy. If you like this, then by all means read my other story, 'Guess Who!'.
Disclaimer: Don't own Teen Titans, nope.
Beast Boy walked through the city alone. It had been weeks of work and research and thinking, but Robin had finally caught the evil mastermind just the day before. With just one, 'Titans, attack!', the help of a few honoraries, and Titans East, they had brought him to justice. Satisfied, Robin had given them all one day off to spend for themselves. He had Cyborg to create holo-rings for all of them, just in case a situation got a bit out of hand. And with that, everyone left to do as they pleased.
Cyborg went off to a football game.
Starfire left to check on Tamaran, as with her newly found super-speed flying ability, she was able to get there in a mere half hour.
Raven had departed very early that morning to spend the day book-shopping and listening to poetry in Café á L-ombre.
And Robin had taken off the night before to train with The Master.
So Beast Boy was left alone. And very, very, very bored.
He had already visited his favorite comic book store, his favorite tofu joint which served vegans and vegetarians, and tested out his new GameQX 4759 Platinum. After beating all 348 levels without Cyborg blocking his view by smashing his face into the couch, he had left and done it all again. Four times.
With an exasperated sigh, Beast Boy checked his watch. 11:13 am. Time was cruel. He shook his arms, feeling the hot sun on his bare hands. It felt awkward to not be in uniform (cause it would be kind of weird to see a blond, blue-eyed, totally normal looking kid prancing around the streets of Jump in Beast Boy's uniform, you know?). He realized that the last time he had worn civilian clothes was in Tokyo, and only for a day. Now, he was wearing simple blue jeans, a purple and black shirt, and grey sneakers.
"Oof!" He groaned as he walked right into a glass door that had just opened.
"Oops. Sorry, Mister," said the young girl who had just opened the door. Her eyes were wide and surprised, as if she wasn't expecting that the thing she had just whacked the door into was a person.
"It's fine," he brushed it off, standing up and shaking his head, "I mean, who doesn't like to be hit in the face with a door every once in a while?" Beast Boy smiled a weary smile and looked at her. She stared right back him, her brow furrowing into a perplexed expression.
"You're weird," she said, when a girl called from back inside.
"Mellie? Come back, I need you to hold this bag!" the voice said.
"Okay! I just need to help this boy I hit in the face!" Mellie shouted back. To Beast Boy, she said, "Are you sure you're okay?"
He nodded, "Yeah, I was going in anyway."
He walked in with her, but wasn't expecting what he saw next.
"You!" He exclaimed, pointing at them accusingly.
"You!" The girl cried back, dropping her purchase on Mellie's feet to point back.
"What are YOU doing here?" Both glared at the same time. Mellie raised her hand.
"Do you know each other?" She asked curiously. The blond haired girl stared angrily at Beast Boy as she answered.
"Yes, Mellie. He's the crazy one I told you about. The one that threw mud in my face. Then made me fail my geometry test. Then knocked on my window at night." She crossed her arms.
"Terra? Wait, how do you know it's me . . . ?" he slowly looked down at his pinkie, which was strangely green and ringless. "Oh."
"OH," she said mockingly, rolling her eyes, "So what's your business here?"
"Can't a guy just walk around his city without being interrogated by schoolgirls? I've got a day off. Robin doesn't give us a lot of vacations, so I'm looking for something worth spending my time on. What about you? I don't remember you having a little sister."
"She's not my sister. She's a girl I'm baby-sitting. We both live in an orphanage by the school. Mellie's like, my second great cousin twice removed's niece. Or something like that. I need some extra cash, if I ever want to get away from this place." She glared outside. "I don't suppose you need a job to get money. You're a Titan, and get anything you want."
Beast Boy gaped at her. "I need money! I just don't have a lot of time, since I'm off, I dunno, saving Jump every week. But I could get a job if I wanted."
She snorted. "Yeah, sure. Come on, Mel."
And Beast Boy was suddenly standing quite alone in the corner store.
"I could get a job if wanted to. It's just that all the places I look don't need help. And all the places I don't use . . ." he shuddered, "Meat."
He was just walking out when he saw a newspaper with the headline, 'TEEN TITANS TAKE AN OFF-DAY: WILL WE SURVIVE?'. Grabbing it, he rushed to the counter and scrambled for the spare coins in his pocket to pay.
"Whoa, dude! You're a Teen Titan!" said the teenage boy at the counter. His hair was scruffy and brown, hanging over his eyes, which were covered by a pair of cheap shades. A baseball hat stuck backwards on his head gave him an elementary school look. He noticed that the green teen was a little, erm, short on cash to say the least. Pulling down his glasses so BB could see his gray green eyes he said, "I'll give it to you for free if I can have an autograph. My little sis loves the Titans, and I still don't have a birthday present."
Beast Boy grinned. "Sure!"
After signing a napkin, he whistled a tune as he sauntered back to the tower.
His eyes scanned the paper, reading the one-page article on the Titans, then flipping over to the Funnies. But before he could start reading, a note to the readers caught his eye.
Advice Column soon to come!
Can you answer personal questions no one else can?
Do your friends come to you on advice on how to dress, act, or solve a dispute?
And are your answers sufficient, caring, and quirky?
Then you might be our next anonymous advisor!
If you would like to be the next advisor for people's problems, solving them with your own true flair, just fill out this simple application form and submit it at the address. Only those working on the news staff will know it's really you!
1234 Main Street
Please get it to this address by 3:00 pm as of July 2nd.
We'll send you an email if you get the job! $40 every week you add your column!
Beast Boy's eyes widened in delight. He checked his watch. 12:03. He had roughly three hours to et to the other side of Jump to deliver his application. Grabbing a pen, he filled it out as quickly as possible.
Name: Beast Boy (Garfield Mark Logan)
This he had to think about. He could use one of his friends' names, but that would be too easy. He needed something funny. Something smart.
Pseudonym: Aiman Inja
Email Address: greenninjafury
Good. Perfect. Awesome.
Now all he needed was to turn it in . . . on the other side of the city. Breathing out a sigh of annoyance, he grabbed the paper with his teeth, morphed into a cheetah, and began to run.
Until he hit the water.
One week later . . .
Beast Boy checked his email for the fiftieth time that day. He sighed. So they hadn't picked him.
Well, his life wasn't over. It's just forty bucks.
Forty bucks a week could get me a moped and a bouncy house in a couple months, he thought sulkily, and refreshed the page one last time.
An email appeared (A/N: If it didn't, it wouldn't have been an interesting story after all, now would it?).
Due to the alarmingly small amount of applications that were sent, we have chosen you to be the advice columnist for the Jump City Times. Honestly, there were only two applications and the other applicator just died this morning. He was 97.
But on a lighter note, you will be writing the advice column for this newspaper for the next six months and are allowed to continue afterward if you find it fun. We will send you an email every Saturday, with the letters you need to answer attached. Complete as many as possible in three days. While we understand you also have a life and a city to protect, we expect at least three documents worth of answered letters sent back every Tuesday.
We have attached a few sample letters to this email so that you may try some out. Feel free to send them back so we can publish them publicly and give everyone a taste of your talent.
Thank you, and welcome to the team.
-Jump City News Team
Every week? Writing. Every. Week . . .
Beast Boy groaned. Contrary to the popular belief of everyone (his teammates and civilians alike), he was actually quite intelligent and good at writing. But concentrating on it. Every. Week . . .
"Keep your head in the game, Beast Boy. It's for a moped. And proving Tara wrong," he murmured to himself.
Wait, he thought, Should I tell my teammates? No, they'd laugh at me. They'd call me stupid. But maybe we can divvy up the work, so I don't have to think so long. Nah, I'll be fine. I won't tell them. I won't.
Just then, Robin knocked on the door.
"Beast Boy?" he called, "Are you okay in there? You've seemed a little distant since off-day."
"Yeah, I'm fine!" Beast Boy yelled back, "Just, uh, working on an online game!"
"Oh, okay." From outside the door, Robin frowned. Beast Boy was lying, his voice was cracking again. Shrugging it off, he thought, He's Beast Boy. He'll get over it.
He walked away.
From inside his room, Beast Boy opened up the sample advice letter he had received.
Dear Aiman Inja,
So what technically happened is that my sister loooooooooooves One Direction. She just won't shut up about it. I swear, she'd sell her soul to have one of them say her name out loud. She used to be like this with the Jonas Brothers, and Justin Bieber. How can I get her to stop this madness? It's driving me craaaaaaaazy!
-Running away in the Other Direction
Beast Boy smiled to himself. Star was just like this. And he had easily solved the problem.
Running away in the Other Direction,
Sounds like a serious problem. Don't worry, it's a sickness almost all girl get at one point, whether it lasts for a few hours or a few months. It goes away eventually.
I had the same problem. One of my friends went through this, and while it takes time, it isn't very difficult to solve. First off, try to take her to a therapist or psychologist. If they fail, or you don't have enough money, go to Plan B.
Plan B- Get her some ice cream. Walk around for a while. Hang out in a group of both of your friends. Soften her up. Then when she's either vulnerable or ice cream drunk, ask her why she loves them so much. Then sabotage that. If she says they're cute, draw on all the poster's faces. Tell her they photoshop. Make something up so that she won't love them anymore. If that for some reason doesn't work either, go to Plan C.
Plan C- Stage an intervention. Talk to her about it. If she refuses, break into her room at night and burn all the CDs, movies, videos, and posters.
You could also take one of her fears and incorporate it to the band. Afraid of spiders? Stick a giant spider in her One Direction bed sheets. Tell her Niall has a pet tarantula. Draw spiders on all her posters.
Well, I hope that helps. If all else fails, try your best to get her on Oprah. Or get her obsessed with something YOU like. Or you could try liking One Direction, but I don't suggest that.
Beast Boy reread his handiwork, and smiled. This wasn't so bad . . .
I AM TYPING IN BOLD, ALL CAPS, UNDERLINED FONT TO GET YOUR ATTENTION! LOOK AT THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE!
So . . . there you go! I had fun writing this. Inspired by a story I read months ago, from 39 Clues.
I will be posting a lot more chapters on this, but not all will necessarily be description. Most will just be and descripted – but short – intro, and the rest shall be all the letters Beast Boy has answered.
If you like, send letters in a review or PM me! I neeeeeeed letters . . .
I hope ya'll enjoy and keep reading!