AN Well, I know it's been awhile since I gave a story out to the hungry masses but I've finally settled down and have decided to write over the summer. I don't know if it'll be fan fiction or a try at a book but either way, know that I will try to publish something every now and again. This is a one shot but I might do a future chapter with them five years later or something if enough people want it. I warn you though, that it would take a while.
Any ways, about this story, well I remember Journey and thinking that even if Rachel was dying inside, she would still act gracious in defeat. And Jesse is my favourite paining for Rachel and frankly, if he can pull off that shade of pink, he deserves a second chance.
Well, here we go, please leave a comment if I get anything wrong or if you like the story or if you hate it...Basically, please leave me a review. Like Rachel said, "I need applause to LIVE!" Same for me, but I need reviews too!
PS I had a little help from the brilliant authornorthstar61, who went over the story and pointed out some mistakes I made. I would like to say a thank you to them and recommend that you read their amazing story Someone to Love You. Well worth your while.
Love you all!
That was it. Vocal Adrenaline had won again and New Directions had lost. Rachel knew that this could mean nothing good for the future of glee club. They had to place to stay on next year and this loss meant more than Vocal Adrenaline's win. This was her dream, destroyed by a derailment that sent her on to another path. A path she didn't want to be on.
Quinn, Noah and Mercedes were still at the hospital with Beth so they would have to be told. She knew the burden would fall to her. The club often used her to be the bearer of bad news.
Across the stage, Jesse, Shelby and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline were celebrating. As team leader, it was Rachel's job to appear gracious in defeat and congratulate the winning team on their win. What was the point of showing her sadness in public for others to use against her later. Smiling brightly, as if she had been the one to place first and not Jesse, she stepped away from her team. Finn and Mr Schue looked at her in puzzlement; surely she wouldn't dare act a diva at this moment in time.
Walking proudly across the stage with her show face intact, she tapped Shelby on the shoulder. Shelby looked at her with a mixture of puzzlement and guilt. "Yes Rachel?" She sounded tired, as if the win had cost her all of her strength instead of giving her pride. "On behalf of New Directions, I would like to congratulate your team on its victory. The vocal work and choreography were superb and deserved the accolades." Shelby looked shocked that she could be gracious in defeat. After all, Shelby was her mother even if things didn't work out the way she wanted them to and Shelby had kicked Rachel to the curb. "Thank you Rachel. Would you like me to pass on your praise to Jesse?" Shelby looked uncomfortable talking to her only daughter and obviously wanted the conversation to come to an end. Rachel wasn't going to show any weakness though. "No, thank you. I shall tell him myself."
She left Shelby beside a cheering girl and walked over to where Jesse stood with the trophy. "Hello Jesse." His smile faltered for a moment but then it was back, as bright as hers. No one could say their show faces weren't perfect. "Hey Rachel. It's good to see you." Rachel nodded silently. She missed the way they used to be able to talk to each other, as if their minds were one. There was a wall between them now and she hated it. "You were amazing in that number Jesse. Although I never liked this particular shade of pink, you don't look hideous in it."
Jesse laughed, sounding natural and carefree. She concluded that it was due to his big win and not to her gentle teasing. "Yeah, Shelby really loves the vivid and tacky colours. I was half expecting the judges to mark us down based on the shock factor of men in pink." She smiled, this one not fake or forced. Jesse was the funniest guy she had ever known and his humour often was a cause of trouble during their dates. "Well if you were going to be marked down on the pink, we'd have to be too. I think Mr Schue liberated this fabric from the home ec stash from thirty years ago. I almost refused to go out in it." Jesse nodded at her dress. "It goes with your skin tone. I can't say that for the others but you looked beautiful in it."
Her cheeks flooded with red that had nothing to do with her blusher. "I'm glad you liked it but I think I'll be retiring this dress." She took a deep breath. "Well Jesse, I guess that's all I have to say. You really did that number justice. I almost felt emotion coming from the soulless automatons that are the rest of Vocal Adrenaline." Jesse looked at her, letting his show face slip for a minute. He looked at her as if she couldn't see something obvious. "What? Do I have something on my face?" She was fixing her hair when he leaned down quickly and kissed her softly.
A general quietness filled the stage as she stepped back in shock and glanced wildly around, seeing her angry teammates and his team, who looked both angry and sardonic. She quickly turned and ran off the stage, ignoring both Finn and Jesse calling for her. She could hear someone chasing after her and knew that they would catch her soon so she ran into her green room. Slamming the door shut, she paced the room, wanting to cry, scream and, if she was being totally honest, run back and kiss Jesse again. What was the matter with her! Finn loved her! She'd gotten what she'd always wanted. Finn chose her over Quinn.
Then why, a small voice in the back of her mind whispered, do you want to be with Jesse? No! It cannot be true. Jesse egged her and left her and broke her heart into a million pieces! He wasn't safe. Love shouldn't be a safe option though, the voice whispered again. Love is about taking risks and falling for someone even if there is a safer option. The door shook as a banging noise filled the room. "Rachel, please talk to me!" Jesse! "No! Jesse leave me alone!" The door knob rattled as Jesse obviously tried to open the door. "We need to talk. Please, just give me five minutes and then I promise to never bother you again."
Rachel stood still. Did she want to hear his explanations? Did she want to listen to his excuses? Or did she just want to open the door and let him make her forget about eggs and Queen and bad music videos? She went to the door and opened it slowly. Jesse's face looked worried and excited at the same time. He stepped in after she left the door open for him. She sat down on the couch and wrapped her arms around her knees. He sat kneeling on the ground beside her.
"I'm so sorry Rachel. I know that I have destroyed any and all faith you had in me but I need you to know I'm sorry. I wanted to just talk to you before the egging but the team refused to let me speak to you. They said speaking to you would get me excluded from the club and I needed the national win. I applied to NYADA and Juilliard and they wanted Jesse St James, star of Vocal Adrenaline not Jesse St James, three time winner and then loser at regionals. So I made a choice that would end up being the most stupid thing I have ever done in my life."
Rachel turned her tear streaked face to him and snarled, "Why did you then? Was I not pretty enough? Or was my mother angry that you were dating the daughter she abandoned?" Jesse looked away from her eyes in shame. "I was afraid. I was falling for you, hard, and yet all I saw you doing was heading the 'I heart Finn' fan club and I got scared. If I gave up everything for you and you chose him, then I would have to live with my regrets for my future forever. So I chose my career." Rachel bit her lip. She had been broken up over Finn while she was dating Jesse but she thought she was able to give her heart to Jesse fully. She understood the dilemma of whether or not to choose career or love and didn't hate him for that decision.
"But why didn't you just tell me that you were afraid for your career? I would have understood. You deserve to be on Broadway and I could never step in the way of that. I just wanted a break up that didn't involve our teams witnessing my heart being broken." Jesse's eyebrows shot up. "You would have been okay with me leaving McKinley and letting Finn flirt with you every minute of the day, while I joined a team that discouraged relationships. Your team hates me and I didn't want you to have to deal with them hating the guy you were dating. They treated you better after we broke up, didn't they?"
Rachel couldn't deny that everyone had being kinder to her since they broke up. They all felt bad that they had been right as, even though a lot of them didn't like her very much, heartbreak was a universal pain. "I would have been leaving to go to college next year anyway. You're a sophomore! How would your dads feel about you dating a college guy? And the people at your school would give you so much grief about it and I couldn't even stop it because NYADA is in New York and I would have too much homework to be of any real help. We'd grow apart and it would hurt too much when I'd come back and see you for holidays. You're too good to give up your high school years for a relationship that statistically wouldn't last. And I was afraid that Hudson would convince you to fall in love with him again while I was gone. I was scared, Rachel."
Rachel didn't know why she did it but she found herself leaning in and wrapping her arms around Jesse's neck. "Just shut up and kiss me." The kiss was sweet but it soon became filled with the lost passion they had missed out on in the last few weeks.
Ten minutes later when half of New Directions walked in, Jesse was on top of Rachel with his shirt unbuttoned and her hair in disarray. Kurt's shout of "Oh sweet Gucci!" alerted them to the presence of most of their teams and Rachel's mother. They sprang apart quickly. Rachel fixing her hair while Jesse buttoned his pink shirt. "We can explain?" Rachel sounded unsure but Jesse's glowing smile of victory said everything that needed to be said. Tina, who had helped Kurt to make the costumes, said, "That dress better not be ripped St James," but Rachel could tell she meant it in jest. Shelby sighed while she rubbed her face with the palm of her hand. "I'm too young to have a kid with hormones." Turning to Jesse, she spoke in a tone that meant business. "Jesse, if I hear she's pregnant, I will personally buy her dads the shotgun that will be used in your murder trial."
Jesse blanched a little but managed to slip in a quick word, "Mind giving us some privacy? We're having a bit of a reunion here." He then leaned down and started kissing her again while he closed the door on their teammates' faces. She would pay for this later but right now, reunion was too sweet to ignore.