September, 2011



Bright light shines through my eye lids as consciousness emerges. I am aware of the soft bedding beneath me as well as the aching headache I feel. In fact, I feel sore all over. Tilting my head to look around, I become alarmed when I don't recognize the room I am in. The walls are a cheery yellow, the bedding a royal blue. A large television is mounted on the wall across from me and through a doorway adjacent to me, I see a large bathroom.

As I swing my legs around to sit up, I become aware of my state of dress. The white sundress I am clothed in is up around my waist, and I am wearing no panties. A sickly chill spreads through me, my vision blackening around the sides. I peak under the covers and with a shaking hand I find my underwear. Tears cloud my vision as I come to terms with what this means.

I know for a fact I went to party last night where, let's face it, I wasn't wanted. I know that I can only remember drinking a single drink, and after that, everything is gone, almost as if that time didn't happen at all. And I know, by the soreness between my legs, I lost my virginity.


The next few hours are disjointed. I feel as though I am in a dream. I cannot remember the drive home to the apartment my father and I share, nor do I remember what I said to my father upon entering. I remember scrubbing my skin in the shower. I remember the burning sensation as I wipe the raw, tender flesh with a towel. I remember falling listlessly into my bed, horror and anguish washing through me anew.