Hero Training (Hetalia/Avengers X-Over)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: The Avengers needed to work on teamwork, so Fury brought in the best fighter he knew – a kid by the name of Alfred F. Jones...

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine. Avengers isn't mine.

Warning: America being awesome. Oh, and Tony Stark.

((de-anon from Hetalia Kink Meme. Dunno, might write more for this someday.))

((Original prompt: Avengers assembled, have to train to be a team. Against America.

Bonus - America is having WAAAAAAAY too much fun with this.))


This was their toughest opponent yet.

They weren't sure where Fury had found him. Probably the depths of hell, if Tony Stark had his say (which he did). All they knew was that apparently they hadn't been showing enough 'teamwork' the last time they had fought together, so the person before them had volunteered - volunteered! - to help them out.

When they had seen their opponent, young and bright eyed as he cheerfully introduced himself as "Alfred F. Jones, the hero, and man it is an honor to meet you all-"

Well, they hadn't been prepared.

Fury had simply sat back, bemused as the Avengers were overwhelmed by the enthusiasm of the young man. Finally, Steve Rogers blurted out "Sir, you really can't expect us to fight a kid!"

Alfred had stopped talking to an overwhelmed Bruce Banner to eye the man, a certain gleam in his eye that none could identify. "Don't you worry about me, Cap't. I think I can handle myself."

Thor had scoffed, skeptical that a mere Midgardian child could stand up to any of them, much the less all of them at once. Fury replied with a simple "You won't know until you try, now will you?"

And that had been that.


They had expected a fast battle. They were right, only it hadn't gone the way they expected. At all.

They stood across from one another in the special training room that had been set aside for them. The Avengers were decked out in their battle gear (or lack thereof for the Hulk), while Alfred was bouncing lightly on his heels, inpatient for the fight to begin.

The first to move was Hulk, who intended on ending the fight in one blow. With one quick movement, Alfred had stopped bouncing, adjusted his feet and caught the charging monstrosity, throwing him over his shoulder and across the room.

The others were left speechless.

"C'mon, guys, hurry up already!" The man - no, creature, he couldn't be human - said, grinning cheekily.

By unspoken agreement, the others attacked at the same time.

Thor charged in, hammer raised. Ironman took off, intent on an aerial attack. Captain America hesitated for a brief moment before he also charged in, shield already in motion. The Hulk had recovered from the brief surprise of being flung across the room, and was now charging in as well.

Alfred just smiled.


After the dust settled, Clint and Natasha could only stare. The four who had previously been fighting the young man were now in opposite corners of the room, all slowly shaking the dust off of themselves.

The former Russian spy was impressed, to say the least. She already had a general idea of who the young man was, considering who one of her former bosses had been, but none of the others had any idea exactly who, or more specifically what, they were up against.

To see any one of them fighting was something of a lesson in humility.

To see the United States of America fighting was something else entirely.

It was obvious how much work the boy put into maintaining his status as the world superpower, considering how easily he had been throwing around people who were much bigger and heavier than him. To think the Soviet Union had fallen because of him wasn't so hard to believe, after all.

(And to be honest with herself, anyone would defect to the side of someone with that charismatic a smile. Not that she would know, of course.)

Clint's only thought on the matter was 'what the fuck?'


Several hours, lots of collateral damage, and a lot of cursing from Tony later, the Avengers had run out of steam.

Thor was the only one who still looked to be in any condition to fight, but he was busy sitting back and staring in bafflement at the enigma across the room. He was muttering under his breath about something, probably on how impossible the situation was.

Said enigma was Alfred F. Jones, dubbed by (Tony) the group as 'that fucker', looking barely winded as he talked with Fury and Natasha. The bruises they had managed to get in on him already seemed unimpressive compared to the banging about all of them had gotten.

Bruce held an icepack to his head, still woozy from the surprisingly heavy blow he had gotten from a well-timed kick followed by an impact from Mjolnir when the boy had used him to block it. Tony was fiddling with his helmet and armor, trying to work out some of the dents that had been inflict both by 'that fucker' and from friendly fire. Steve was carefully bandaging his forehead, which had been cut open when Alfred had caught his shield and thrown it back without pausing in his apparent dance party with the energy shots from Tony's suit.

"Hey, guys!" The cheerful voice of the young man yelled from his position by the door, grin deceptively innocent. "Your boss said we're gonna do this again every week until you guys stop getting hit by friendly fire!"

All four groaned in unison.


AN: ...I dunno. Ran across the prompt on the kink meme, felt like writing it out (just got back from Avengers), and it turned out pretty nicely, to be honest (even if it is short).

Didn't show the fight, because obviously your imaginations will be much better than anything I could possibly write. Just imagine it was epic. And that America kicked ass. Because America.