I do not own any Marvel characters, because if I did, I would not be writing fan fiction. I'd be rolling in a bed of money like Scrooge McDuck. Please visit my profile, where any questions regarding this story, will be answered to the best of my ability. Thanks for reading.
The New Girl
There are moments in your life when you come to a crossroads. Sometimes those moments are glaringly obvious, like a job change, or a wedding. Other times, those moments disguise themselves as non-significant occurrences; apparent coincidences with very significant results.
Remy had no way of knowing the non-significant knock on the apartment door that cool April day would be one of those crossroad moments. He could have pretended they weren't home. In fact, he probably should have, since no self respecting man would knock to the tune of Shave and a Haircut, and he really had to wonder what strange force had come over him prompting him to answer it.
But, as fate would have it, he did answer the door. And her grinning face was probably one of the last faces on earth he would have expected to be greeted with.
She offered a nonthreatening smile, "Long time no see."
He leaned out into the hall and glanced both ways before giving her a slightly confused once over. "You selling Girl Scout cookies, petite?"
"No," She shifted her weight uncomfortably and touched the base of her pony tail, something Remy instantly recognized as a nervous tick. "I'm here about the ad in your newspaper."
He raised an eyebrow and she shot out a breath, "Your ad in the newspaper."
"... What about it?"
She blinked her big brown eyes, as if the answer should be apparent to him, "Uh, I- well you're looking for a fourth roommate, right?" She grinned to punctuate her sentence and Remy pursed his lips with a slightly condescending smirk.
"Yeah, I don't think so." He gave her a smile of condolence and moved to close the door when her foot stuck out quickly, stopping him from completing the task.
"But you haven't filled the room yet."
Remy let out a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face, scrubbing at the scruff on his chin, "Here's the thing; You're not a guy."
"You're very observant." She tapped his chest with her forefinger, "I like that in a roommate."
"Is someone here about the room?" Remy looked towards the voice with a frown to discourage him from dragging this whole situation out, when she leaned past him for a better look.
"Hot diggity, that's a nice looking TV..."
Remy gave her a disapproving frown, "Did you just say hot diggity?"
Pyro raised his brows and came to a stop next to him, "Ohhhh, little Sheila come lookin' for a place to stay?" He asked with his pinky finger digging in his ear, "That's cute."
"Look, I wouldn't be here unless I was totally desperate. Could you at least give me an interview?" She pleaded with her big brown puppy dog eyes, batting her lashes for effect.
The effect was lost on Remy. "No." He said with a single head shake.
"Why not? It ain't like we've been having any luck with the dweebs who've been answering the ad." Pyro shrugged as he inspected the crud he dug out of his ear with his pinky before wiping it off on his jeans, "The last guy wasn't even wearing a shirt."
"See?" She smiled hopefully, "I'm wearing a shirt!"
Remy leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms, "That's not really helping your cause right now."
"C'mon in. What kind of gentlemen would we be if we just let you hang out in the hallway?" Pyro shoved Remy out of the way and led her inside towards the grey, overstuffed sofa in the living room. "Can I get you anything, love? Pop Tarts? Crackers?"
"No, thanks. I'm good." She sank down into the sofa and folded her hands on her lap as her eyes scanned the clean looking, utilitarian apartment.
Pyro sat next to her with his arm draped along the back of the couch behind her. He extended his other hand for her to shake and gave her a sincere smile, "We haven't officially met. Name's John, but my friends call me Pyro. Actually, my enemies call me Pyro too. So..."
"Pyro it is." She nodded and shook his hand with a tight smile.
"You remember Remy there, I guess you know him as Gambit." Pyro gestured towards him as he sat on the coffee table across from them with his arms folded. "And that there's Pete."
He jerked his head towards the hallway where their third roommate was approaching, wiping paint off his hands with a rag.
"You remember this little philly, eh Pete? She's an X-man." He stage whispered the last part and she shook her head,
"No, she was an X-man." She turned back to Piotr and smiled, "Not anymore."
"She's here for the room." Pyro wagged his eyebrows with a wide grin and Piotr gave him a frown before letting out a sigh,
"Is this one of those jokes you tell that I do not get? I have told you before, it is not funny if you have to explain it." He tucked the rag into his back pocket and crossed his arms.
"Nope. No joke." Remy grunted.
"But..." Piotr frowned, "She is a girl."
"You guys are both observant!" She slapped her knees with a smile, "I like that. I really think this is going to work out-"
"Woah," Remy held up his hand to stop her from talking, "Why do you even want to live with us? We're enemies, remember?"
"Well, not anymore." She shrugged, "You guys aren't working for Magneto, and I'm not with the X-men."
"We've fought. We've tried to kill each other." Remy rested his elbows on his knees, getting the distinct feeling that he shouldn't need to explain his reasoning to her, "What makes you think we wouldn't do it again?"
She rolled her eyes, "It was nothing personal. It's not like you were hired specifically for the purpose of taking me out, right? Honestly I trust you guys more than I'd trust complete strangers looking for a roommate." She tossed a hand in the air, "Besides, we worked together once. So that's... something..." She trailed off, letting her eyes wander around the apartment as she absently twirled her fingers through her pony tail. "It's a really nice place."
"How did you know it was us who posted the ad?" Piotr asked, looking to Remy with a frown.
"Please, it wasn't hard to figure out. Mutant friendly house seeking fourth roommate, smokers accepted, Contact Remy." She recited the ad from memory, "And you live one town over from Bayville? I'm no Sherlock, but you might as well have just called yourselves Acolytes right in the ad, Dr. Watson."
Remy let out a breath, "I know we've covered this but I feel like it's an important detail that's being under rated. You're a woman. I don't want to live with a woman."
"You obviously just haven't thought about the benefits of living with a woman, in a completely non-sexual way."
He pressed his lips together in a thin line and shook his head, "No, I think the sex is pretty much the only benefit..."
"I'm clean, I smell good, I'm quiet, you know?" She began ticking the items off on her fingers as she went, "I'm little, so it's not like I'll be eating all of your... Pop Tarts and crackers. And I make some bitchen pancakes..."
"Living with a woman is not always bad." Piotr shrugged casually, causing both Remy and Pyro to turn their attention to him with intrest.
"When did you live with a woman?" Pyro snorted.
"I have a sister." Piotr knit his brow, "This would not be any different."
"What if I want to walk around the apartment naked?" Remy raised an eyebrow, "I can't do that with a woman here."
"You cannot do that with us here..." Piotr's frown deepened.
"My point is," Remy glared at Piotr, "That I could. If I wanted to."
She smirked, "Hey, don't let me stop you."
"What about my dates? When I bring a date back home, I don't want you bonding over breakfast."
"You do not bring dates home." Piotr said with a shrug, "You say it makes them clingy."
"Yes, but if I wanted to." Remy huffed, "Who's side are you on, man?"
She gave him a sincere nod, "No date bonding. Check."
"The last thing I want is some girl hanging around because she feels at home. Next thing I know she's planning out our future, trying to find houses in areas with good schools..."
She continued to nod, "Got it; Bitches be crazy."
"And what about the bathroom...?" He trailed off with a frown.
She shrugged, looking over to Pyro, "Um... I'm not really sure what you're asking. I mean, as far as cleanliness goes, I'm fine as long as you guys keep tabs on your black curlies hanging around."
Remy's frown morphed into a grimace, "No, I meant your... womanly time."
Her eyebrows perked up, "What about it? Are you worried our periods will synch up if we live together? Because I gotta tell you, that is a big inconvenience."
Piotr cracked a grin and Pyro slapped his knee with a bark of laughter, "I like her."
"Do you have any refrences?" Remy asked slowly, "All of our other applicants had references. It's mandatory."
"Well," She looked up towards the ceiling as she thought, "My boyfriend doesn't know I'm here. So, he wouldn't make a great reference."
"And I doubt you want us calling the mansion." Remy pressed his lips into a thin smile, "Unfortunately, we do need-"
"You could always call Rogue. She's my best friend and the only person who really knows I'm here. Not that it'll take Professor Xavier long to figure it out, but he respects my privacy." She pulled her purse onto her lap and began digging through its contents.
"Rogue?" Remy's eyebrows perked up, "She's your best friend?"
"Yeah. We were roommates against our will but we grew to appreciate one another. She'd give me an awesome reference." She nodded as she pulled her cell phone out to retrieve Rogue's number. "She's changed her cell phone number since the time you kidnapped her, so you'll need this."
Pyro snorted and Remy snatched the phone from her hand to copy the number down.
"I really don't even think we need to check references here, Sheila, you're the best candidate we've seen. You're also the only one with breasts, so that gives you the upper hand." Pyro gave her a wink.
"Really?" She smiled hopefully, "So... I got the room?"
"I do not have any objections." Piotr shrugged and turned to Remy, "You have the final vote."
Remy worked the muscles in his jaw as he weighed his options. He simply could have said no. He could have flat out refused, knowing that they had to be unanimous on this decision. His "no" vote would instantly send her on her merry way. But there was a small part of him, a tiny part really, that was keeping him from kicking her out the door.
She knit her brow and stared at him, waiting for his final judgment, "I'm a damsel in distress." The corner of her mouth quirked up, and he noticed for the first time the twinkle of hope she had in her eyes, "You could be the hero for once."
He let out a long breath and ran a hand over his face, "You better have lots of incredibly hot friends..."
"Thank you! Oh my gosh, thank you so much! I promise you won't regret this! I swear!" She gushed, throwing her arms around Pyro who welcomed her hug with great enthusiasm.
She bounded over to Piotr to give him a hug and Remy stood, jerking his head in the direction of the hallway. "I guess we should show you your room."
"Who knows, maybe having an X-man living here will come in handy." Pyro grinned, slapping Remy on the shoulder as he passed.
"Your rooms this way, Shadowcat." Remy said flatly, gesturing for her to follow him.
"Oh please," Instead of following him, she bounced over and gave him a tight hug which he reluctantly endured. When she pulled back, she offered him an excited smile, "Call me Kitty."