Think it Through
"Touma?" Eyes wide with shock, Shuu watched his long time friend, wondering dazedly if what he thought had just happened had really happened. The hand burning through his shorts and into his leg, Touma's hand, left little doubt.
The short kiss, although a mere brushing of the lips, left Touma flushed. Shuu watched the pink slowly creep across Touma's cheekbones as Touma spoke. "Just think about it. Please, will you consider it?" Touma asked. He was being so careful, so perfectly polite about it. How could Shuu say no? He found himself nodding in agreement. It was such a reasonable request. He could think about Touma kissing him again. Surely his thoughts would hurt nothing.
"Thank you," Touma said happily. His hand was still upon Shuu's leg, and the blush stayed upon his cheeks as well. Not knowing what to do, Shuu remained motionless, waiting for Touma to make another move. They sat there, Shuu's eyes locked to Touma's rose stained cheeks, and Touma watching his hand upon Shuu's leg while willing Shuu to leave first. Only after a short eternity did Touma gather courage to stand. "Tell me your answer next week?" Touma asked.
Shuu's eyes dropped as he answered. "Next week," he agreed. His words were followed by a soft gasp, and he quickly jerked his eyes away from the bulge in Touma's pants. Thankfully, an embarrassed Touma fled the room, leaving Shuu and his chaotic thoughts in peace.
Over the next six days Shuu watched Touma whenever he knew the archer wasn't aware of his presence. At first Shuu thought only of a kiss, calling up the memory of Touma's lips on his as he watched the archer's face. He didn't think he liked it, and the more he thought about it, the more sure he became that he didn't want it. The very thought made him uncomfortable. Instead, he began to think about why Touma chose him, and he couldn't come up with anything. That is, until he was lying in bed on the fourth day after Touma kissed him. Then he remembered the last time they'd played football.
Shuu had tackled Touma, one of the many times, but this time Shuu was tired and had no inclination to get off Touma any time soon. Touma had protested the treatment, hands pushing ineffectively against Shuu. Of course Shuu had eventually moved and the game continued. Nothing significant had happened then; it was just another part of the day. But now the thought of Touma touching him, of him touching Touma, took on a new significance. Yes, Shuu did feel comfortable with the kiss, but touching came naturally. He could name a thousand times they touched in daily contact. Perhaps that was what Touma liked and why Touma had kissed him. Therefore the question wasn't did he want to kiss Touma, but did he want to touch Touma. It didn't take long for Shuu to discover the answer was yes.
The next day, instead of thinking about the kiss, Shuu thought of the hand on his leg, and the warmth of Touma's body when they were close. He thought of the feel of Touma's skin on his own and the way Touma always brushed against him at breakfast. By the sixth day he was ready to tell Touma his answer, but he waited, knowing the archer would find a better time and place to ask him then he could hope to find.
Touma asked him a full week after the first kiss. Shuu had gone into the pantry to find something to eat and less than minute later he heard the door close behind him. He turned and found Touma smiling at him, head cocked to the side in a boyish way with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
"Hi." Touma said it softly and without expectation; he was comfortable. "There's some chips in the back corner," he suggested, for all the world as if he had come simply to tell Shuu there were chips.
Glancing over his shoulder, Shuu saw the corner of the bag peeking out from behind some cereal boxes. "Yeah," he replied, chips already forgotten.
"Have you thought about it?"
"Yeah."
Touma smiled at Shuu's response and punched him in the arm. "Well?" Touma asked. The contact more than the words broke Shuu out of his muddled thoughts and reminded him of his answer.
"What happens if I say I liked it?"
"We'd do it again, of course." Touma answered, head cocked to the side once more.
"And if I didn't like it?"
Touma grew more serious. "If you didn't like it I guess we wouldn't do it again." He looked at Shuu and his smile faded a little bit. "Or maybe what happened after that would be up to you." Shuu knew the archer was speaking of whether or not there would be awkward moments between them if Shuu said no.
"I like it when you touch me," Shuu said, "but I don't think I want you to kiss me again."
Touma looked slightly puzzled before he answered. "May I touch you now?"
"Yeah," Shuu breathed, back to the one syllable word.
Shuu watched Touma's hand as it touched his wrist and slid up his arm to rest on his bicep. Touma gently squeezed before moving his hand to Shuu's chest and pressing it flat. Shuu moved forward a step, wanting to feel more of Touma's heat. Touma allowed his elbow to bend and pressed his hand a little harder into Shuu before withdrawing it completely. Shuu took the hint and raised his own hand to touch Touma, trailing his fingers lightly along Touma's side before resting his hand on Touma's hip.
"So now what do we do?" Shuu asked.
"You get out of the pantry," a new voice said. They both jumped, Shuu guiltily snatching his hand away from Touma, and Touma turned to face Shin who was in the doorway. "You can do that in our room, Shuu. I, however, need the pantry to cook supper." Shin arched an eyebrow. "Unless either of you two were going to cook?"
They both shifted and Touma looked up to answer. "Do you want us to?" he offered hesitantly.
Shin, not expecting anything even closely resembling a yes, took a moment to reply. "Definitely not. I want to eat tonight, not be sent to the hospital. I'm sure I could find you both something else to do, though."
Touma looked back at Shuu who just shrugged. "Sure, we'll do something else, but could you please not tell anyone about this?" Touma asked.
Shin sighed. "I won't tell anyone. Just get out of here okay?" he said before stepping out of the doorway.
"Thanks," Shuu practically whispered as he walked past.
"Yeah," Shin replied. He watched his two friends as they climbed the stairs before shaking his head and getting back to supper.
"So where were we?" Touma asked as he sat on Shuu's bed. Shuu opted to sit in the chair at the desk instead of next to him, Touma noted. When Shuu didn't answer, Touma tried a different tactic. "I think we should talk about this and not just what it means to us either. This'll impact the guys too."
"I don't now what it means to us," Shuu said. "I'm not even sure what it means to me." When he looked up at Touma he was apologetic.
"I'll go first then." Touma looked hesitant but then he seemed to make up his mind. "I like touching you too, Shuu. You're attractive. I like your strength, and how you play it down but don't take it for granted. When we all wrestle and you are so careful not to hurt someone else that Ryo pins you, that's when I like you the most." He looked up to gauge Shuu's reaction. "I guess I just like you," he continued, " and I thought that if you liked me then maybe…well, maybe you'd want to touch me like I want to touch you."
"But what do we do now that you know?" Shuu asked. "How does this change things? I already tell you and the guys everything, we're together all the time; how does it change?"
"You mean our relationship." It was a question that wasn't really a question. "I'm not really sure," Touma said. "We'll touch more I guess, and see if we really like each other."
"Love," Shuu said. The word hung in the air between them, a palpable thing, making them both nervous. Shuu spoke first. "You're smart, and you're funny, and you know when to work and when to play. I could love you." There, he'd said it.
"I think I could love you too."
"Will you tell me if you do?" Shuu asked. "If you start to love me and you realized it, will you tell me? I'll tell you."
"Yeah."
They sat there in silence for a while, each thinking about what was said. Touma, having thought about a relationship with Shuu several times before, broke the silence first.
"Will you sit with me?" Touma asked, motioning to the spot beside him on the bed. Shuu was nervous as he sat next to Touma. His arms were stiff at his sides and his hands clutched at the comforter. He almost jumped when Touma spoke again. "Nothing's really changed. I'm still the same, and we're still friends. I can even still out eat you."
Touma's joke invoked its desired response. Shuu's hands loosed their hold on the comforter as he bumped Touma roughly with his shoulder. "In your dreams."
"We could find out at supper."
"Shin would be thrilled I'm sure."
Touma laughed when he pictured the look that would be on Shin's face if he were to announce an eating contest. "Then I'll just have to beat you into submission." So saying, Touma pushed Shuu into the bed and punched him in the arm. Shuu responded quickly, easily sitting back up and knocking Touma to the floor. He hesitated only for a second when he realized what he was doing, but that second was all Touma needed to drag Shuu to the floor with him. With the fleeting thought that truly nothing had changed, Shuu proceeded to pin Touma to the floor in the most uncomfortable position he could manage.
"You win!" Touma loudly conceded. "Now let me up."
"Hmmmm, no," Shuu replied.
"Come on Shuu, You're arm is hurting me."
That did the trick. Touma was immediately released and helped up. He noticed Shuu's confusion at the blush that was creeping across his features, and the blush increased. Sitting upon the bed once more, Touma tried to explain.
"Um, your arm was rubbing against me, and I just kind of reacted." As he spoke, Touma refused to look at Shuu. "I didn't mean to."
"Oh," Shuu said. Then again, "Oh! That's all right. I understand. I'm a guy too, you know."
"But you didn't get excited."
Touma was cute when he blushed, Shuu realized, really thinking about it for the first time. "I think I could though," he said, sitting next to Touma on the bed. "I know I'm not ready for that sort of thing yet, but I already find you attractive. It probably isn't much farther to getting excited."
Touma nodded silently in agreement. Shuu was about to say something else when they heard Shin yelling that supper was ready. Heeding the call, they both moved toward the door, but Touma stopped, blocking it, before Shuu could leave.
"I can't believe I just said those things," Touma revealed.
"I'm glad you did."
"So am I." Touma moved from the door, and they both ran down the stairs to supper. The usual banter surrounded the table, every member contributing. It was a reassurance to both of them that a relationship might work.
"Touma?" Eyes wide with shock, Shuu watched his long time friend, wondering dazedly if what he thought had just happened had really happened. The hand burning through his shorts and into his leg, Touma's hand, left little doubt.
The short kiss, although a mere brushing of the lips, left Touma flushed. Shuu watched the pink slowly creep across Touma's cheekbones as Touma spoke. "Just think about it. Please, will you consider it?" Touma asked. He was being so careful, so perfectly polite about it. How could Shuu say no? He found himself nodding in agreement. It was such a reasonable request. He could think about Touma kissing him again. Surely his thoughts would hurt nothing.
"Thank you," Touma said happily. His hand was still upon Shuu's leg, and the blush stayed upon his cheeks as well. Not knowing what to do, Shuu remained motionless, waiting for Touma to make another move. They sat there, Shuu's eyes locked to Touma's rose stained cheeks, and Touma watching his hand upon Shuu's leg while willing Shuu to leave first. Only after a short eternity did Touma gather courage to stand. "Tell me your answer next week?" Touma asked.
Shuu's eyes dropped as he answered. "Next week," he agreed. His words were followed by a soft gasp, and he quickly jerked his eyes away from the bulge in Touma's pants. Thankfully, an embarrassed Touma fled the room, leaving Shuu and his chaotic thoughts in peace.
Over the next six days Shuu watched Touma whenever he knew the archer wasn't aware of his presence. At first Shuu thought only of a kiss, calling up the memory of Touma's lips on his as he watched the archer's face. He didn't think he liked it, and the more he thought about it, the more sure he became that he didn't want it. The very thought made him uncomfortable. Instead, he began to think about why Touma chose him, and he couldn't come up with anything. That is, until he was lying in bed on the fourth day after Touma kissed him. Then he remembered the last time they'd played football.
Shuu had tackled Touma, one of the many times, but this time Shuu was tired and had no inclination to get off Touma any time soon. Touma had protested the treatment, hands pushing ineffectively against Shuu. Of course Shuu had eventually moved and the game continued. Nothing significant had happened then; it was just another part of the day. But now the thought of Touma touching him, of him touching Touma, took on a new significance. Yes, Shuu did feel comfortable with the kiss, but touching came naturally. He could name a thousand times they touched in daily contact. Perhaps that was what Touma liked and why Touma had kissed him. Therefore the question wasn't did he want to kiss Touma, but did he want to touch Touma. It didn't take long for Shuu to discover the answer was yes.
The next day, instead of thinking about the kiss, Shuu thought of the hand on his leg, and the warmth of Touma's body when they were close. He thought of the feel of Touma's skin on his own and the way Touma always brushed against him at breakfast. By the sixth day he was ready to tell Touma his answer, but he waited, knowing the archer would find a better time and place to ask him then he could hope to find.
Touma asked him a full week after the first kiss. Shuu had gone into the pantry to find something to eat and less than minute later he heard the door close behind him. He turned and found Touma smiling at him, head cocked to the side in a boyish way with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
"Hi." Touma said it softly and without expectation; he was comfortable. "There's some chips in the back corner," he suggested, for all the world as if he had come simply to tell Shuu there were chips.
Glancing over his shoulder, Shuu saw the corner of the bag peeking out from behind some cereal boxes. "Yeah," he replied, chips already forgotten.
"Have you thought about it?"
"Yeah."
Touma smiled at Shuu's response and punched him in the arm. "Well?" Touma asked. The contact more than the words broke Shuu out of his muddled thoughts and reminded him of his answer.
"What happens if I say I liked it?"
"We'd do it again, of course." Touma answered, head cocked to the side once more.
"And if I didn't like it?"
Touma grew more serious. "If you didn't like it I guess we wouldn't do it again." He looked at Shuu and his smile faded a little bit. "Or maybe what happened after that would be up to you." Shuu knew the archer was speaking of whether or not there would be awkward moments between them if Shuu said no.
"I like it when you touch me," Shuu said, "but I don't think I want you to kiss me again."
Touma looked slightly puzzled before he answered. "May I touch you now?"
"Yeah," Shuu breathed, back to the one syllable word.
Shuu watched Touma's hand as it touched his wrist and slid up his arm to rest on his bicep. Touma gently squeezed before moving his hand to Shuu's chest and pressing it flat. Shuu moved forward a step, wanting to feel more of Touma's heat. Touma allowed his elbow to bend and pressed his hand a little harder into Shuu before withdrawing it completely. Shuu took the hint and raised his own hand to touch Touma, trailing his fingers lightly along Touma's side before resting his hand on Touma's hip.
"So now what do we do?" Shuu asked.
"You get out of the pantry," a new voice said. They both jumped, Shuu guiltily snatching his hand away from Touma, and Touma turned to face Shin who was in the doorway. "You can do that in our room, Shuu. I, however, need the pantry to cook supper." Shin arched an eyebrow. "Unless either of you two were going to cook?"
They both shifted and Touma looked up to answer. "Do you want us to?" he offered hesitantly.
Shin, not expecting anything even closely resembling a yes, took a moment to reply. "Definitely not. I want to eat tonight, not be sent to the hospital. I'm sure I could find you both something else to do, though."
Touma looked back at Shuu who just shrugged. "Sure, we'll do something else, but could you please not tell anyone about this?" Touma asked.
Shin sighed. "I won't tell anyone. Just get out of here okay?" he said before stepping out of the doorway.
"Thanks," Shuu practically whispered as he walked past.
"Yeah," Shin replied. He watched his two friends as they climbed the stairs before shaking his head and getting back to supper.
"So where were we?" Touma asked as he sat on Shuu's bed. Shuu opted to sit in the chair at the desk instead of next to him, Touma noted. When Shuu didn't answer, Touma tried a different tactic. "I think we should talk about this and not just what it means to us either. This'll impact the guys too."
"I don't now what it means to us," Shuu said. "I'm not even sure what it means to me." When he looked up at Touma he was apologetic.
"I'll go first then." Touma looked hesitant but then he seemed to make up his mind. "I like touching you too, Shuu. You're attractive. I like your strength, and how you play it down but don't take it for granted. When we all wrestle and you are so careful not to hurt someone else that Ryo pins you, that's when I like you the most." He looked up to gauge Shuu's reaction. "I guess I just like you," he continued, " and I thought that if you liked me then maybe…well, maybe you'd want to touch me like I want to touch you."
"But what do we do now that you know?" Shuu asked. "How does this change things? I already tell you and the guys everything, we're together all the time; how does it change?"
"You mean our relationship." It was a question that wasn't really a question. "I'm not really sure," Touma said. "We'll touch more I guess, and see if we really like each other."
"Love," Shuu said. The word hung in the air between them, a palpable thing, making them both nervous. Shuu spoke first. "You're smart, and you're funny, and you know when to work and when to play. I could love you." There, he'd said it.
"I think I could love you too."
"Will you tell me if you do?" Shuu asked. "If you start to love me and you realized it, will you tell me? I'll tell you."
"Yeah."
They sat there in silence for a while, each thinking about what was said. Touma, having thought about a relationship with Shuu several times before, broke the silence first.
"Will you sit with me?" Touma asked, motioning to the spot beside him on the bed. Shuu was nervous as he sat next to Touma. His arms were stiff at his sides and his hands clutched at the comforter. He almost jumped when Touma spoke again. "Nothing's really changed. I'm still the same, and we're still friends. I can even still out eat you."
Touma's joke invoked its desired response. Shuu's hands loosed their hold on the comforter as he bumped Touma roughly with his shoulder. "In your dreams."
"We could find out at supper."
"Shin would be thrilled I'm sure."
Touma laughed when he pictured the look that would be on Shin's face if he were to announce an eating contest. "Then I'll just have to beat you into submission." So saying, Touma pushed Shuu into the bed and punched him in the arm. Shuu responded quickly, easily sitting back up and knocking Touma to the floor. He hesitated only for a second when he realized what he was doing, but that second was all Touma needed to drag Shuu to the floor with him. With the fleeting thought that truly nothing had changed, Shuu proceeded to pin Touma to the floor in the most uncomfortable position he could manage.
"You win!" Touma loudly conceded. "Now let me up."
"Hmmmm, no," Shuu replied.
"Come on Shuu, You're arm is hurting me."
That did the trick. Touma was immediately released and helped up. He noticed Shuu's confusion at the blush that was creeping across his features, and the blush increased. Sitting upon the bed once more, Touma tried to explain.
"Um, your arm was rubbing against me, and I just kind of reacted." As he spoke, Touma refused to look at Shuu. "I didn't mean to."
"Oh," Shuu said. Then again, "Oh! That's all right. I understand. I'm a guy too, you know."
"But you didn't get excited."
Touma was cute when he blushed, Shuu realized, really thinking about it for the first time. "I think I could though," he said, sitting next to Touma on the bed. "I know I'm not ready for that sort of thing yet, but I already find you attractive. It probably isn't much farther to getting excited."
Touma nodded silently in agreement. Shuu was about to say something else when they heard Shin yelling that supper was ready. Heeding the call, they both moved toward the door, but Touma stopped, blocking it, before Shuu could leave.
"I can't believe I just said those things," Touma revealed.
"I'm glad you did."
"So am I." Touma moved from the door, and they both ran down the stairs to supper. The usual banter surrounded the table, every member contributing. It was a reassurance to both of them that a relationship might work.