Mom was on the computer again. She was on it almost every night now. She was always googling names and places that I'd never heard of. Once, I looked over her shoulder to the computer screen and she got upset at me.
"EJ, you know mommy can't be bothered while she works!" She had said.
"Mom, you aren't even working!" I'd retaliated. I remember feeling horrible that I'd snapped at her. My mom was always sad and I think I made it worse.
Sometimes my mother cried. She never did it in front of me, but I could hear her at night when the house was quiet. She had nightmares, too. Sometimes she screamed my name in her sleep. Well, not EJ, but Edward. She would Yell "Edward! Please! Don't leave!" I used to go into her room and hold her hand and tell her I wouldn't leave, but it made things worse. I don't think I'm the right Edward. My name is Edward Junior. I don't know who Edward senior is, though. I asked her once if Edward was my father's name. But it wasn't. I knew it wasn't, but I still wanted to know who I was named after. She wouldn't tell me.
I was conceived at a high school party. Yeah. One night she decided to have a drink and… Well you know the rest. After two years of badgering, my mom finally told me who my father was. His name was Michael. Mike Newton. Mom told me he was a Douche. She told me not to go get my hopes up and not to go find him. I don't want to find him, anyways.
The phone started to ring, so I got up from the couch to go answer it.
"Hello?" I asked
"Hello, EJ! How are you?" It was Mrs. Wellington, Grandpa Charlie's new girlfriend.
"Good. Do you want to talk to my mom?"
"Oh yes, put Bella on the phone," She cooed.
"Mom!" I yelled handing her the phone "It's Nancy Wellington!"
They talked for a bit and then Charlie got on the phone. Grandpa isn't really on the best terms with my mother, Bella Swan. He never really supported the fact that my mother was pregnant, not out of high school, and un-married. Not to mention the fact that she dropped out so she didn't have to face criticism from other people because she was pregnant. Sometimes I feel like I ruined my mother's life. She's only 25. I'm seven.
I left the room to go get some water, but when I came back, my mother had switched the phone to speaker phone so that she could type on the computer and talk to Charlie at the same time.
"Bells? Are you on that goddamn computer again?" Grandpa was angry.
"Yes, Dad, I am actually."
"It's not healthy."
"I don't care."
"Bella, you won't be able to find them," He said in a softer voice. I was currently sitting behind the door, so that she couldn't see me and send me to bed. I needed to hear this. I wanted to know why mom was always on the computer, typing away her life.
"I can and I will," Her voice was hard and unforgivable.
"And what if you do find him? Edward." He emphasized the last word almost as if he was saying a swear word. Edward. This was it. The man she cried about in her sleep. The man I was named after. My mother gasped.
"Dad! You-you can't just… you can't just say that!" Now I was lost. Why was my name so… hurtful to her?
"Bella, it's true. It's an unhealthy obsession! You spend your life trying to track those Cullens down! You named your son after him, for god's sake! So I think I have every right to say Edward's name! Listen loud and clear, Bella! Edward is never coming back."
Then my mom started to cry.
"I know you don't like the choices I make. I know you don't support me. But I never thought you would… do that. It's just… Bye dad," She shut the phone off.
She sobbed for a few long minutes before shouting in the air,
"I know you're there, EJ!" I jumped and made my way to the living room.
"Sorry," I sighed.
"I am too," she sighed back. We sat in silence for a moment before I spoke.
"Who was he?"
"What?" She asked.
"Who was he? The man I'm named after?"
"Oh. He was… well… I was in love with him, that's all." She looked down, her youthful face old with sadness.
"But… you loved him more than dad?" I asked.
"Yes," She sighed
"He got tired of me. And he left."
"And you got sad and met dad?"
"Oh. But you didn't love dad?"
"I told myself I loved him," My mother wore a tortured expression, "I made myself kiss him and love him. But I didn't really want to. I was still in love with Edward."
"Oh." My mother was broken, and I could see that now.
"You want to find him?"
"I'm still in love." And with that, she got up from the computer desk, and went to her bedroom.
I've never heard her cry louder.
I was up early. I had no school because it was spring break (A/N Uh-oh. Something bad always happens to Bella on spring break.), and even though it was only 4:30 am, I couldn't go back to sleep. Something was wrong. My mother hadn't been home in three days, and that was normal. She would sometimes go out for the night or two even. But this was different. She didn't leave any emergency numbers on the fridge. She didn't leave any food to cook for dinner. She didn't hire a last-minute babysitter. She didn't tell me when she left. She was just… gone.
I was getting worried. I wandered around, looking for a note or something. But I came up empty. Finally, I checked the computer desk. I found a letter.
Don't worry about me, I'm fine. This will sound very crazy but I've left. For good. I'm so sorry. This wasn't a choice, I swear. I was forced to leave. I'm lucky that they're letting me write to you, really. I'm writing as fast as possible. I know I've been a horrible mother but I love you. I've been upset for a long time now and I'm so sorry you got stuck with me for a mom. I love you. I need you to do something for me. You know my work. You know who I'm looking for. You have permission to use anything in my notebooks, computer and any page I've saved on the internet. I need you to find him. Tell him I am going to the ballet studio. He'll know what I mean. Tell him I love him. There are pictures of him and his family. I managed to find some in yearbooks and other places. If you see any of them, mention my name. Tell them who you are. Even if you aren't sure it's really them. I'm so sorry. I need you to find them. You are so young, too young to travel without an adult. Do you remember Jacob? Well, he will come to pick you up tonight. He has his own instructions. Go anywhere you think will lead you to them. Please. I need you more than ever now. My life depends on this. Everything you need, including cloths, are packed in a bag on my bed. You may bring anything else you want but pack lightly. Whatever you do, don't go to Italy. No matter what. That's all I can tell you without this becoming dangerous to you. I love you. Be safe.
The doorbell rang. Jacob Black.
What did you think? More to come! Sorry I jumped into this really fast. The beginning was just an intro… the real story will start soon. REVIEW! :)