Dlbn: Hey there, everyone. And welcome to another random one shot from me! I was reading volume 5 of Loveless today, which inspired this little fic. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nisei Akame, Mimuro, Mei Hotarubi, Seimei Aoyagi, Ritsuka Aoyagi, or anyone else mentioned that's from Loveless. Those all belong to Yun Kouga.
Like curtains, humans will rise and fall many times before their time is up. And boy, did I fall hard and fast. The name's Mimuro. I'm not offering my last name up, because I'm not that stupid. His name's Nisei. Nisei Akame. Yes, I did just offer up his last name, but it doesn't really matter at this point. There's no hope for him…
Mei once accused me of being gay, just because I said that Nisei was cute. He was, really, in a feminine sort of way. So wouldn't that make me straight and just attracted to his femininity? I also said that Ritsuka Aoyagi-kun was cute. But then again, he was twelve and still had his ears and tail, so anyone would think he was cute. He was also pretty feminine, though his brother Seimei was the opposite. Maybe them being so girly was the reason I thought they were cute?
As the days went on past the night Mei and I fought Ritsuka and Soubi Agatsuma, his fighter, I couldn't help but dwell on her comments.
You're gay, Mimuro! You like boys!
You don't like me because I'm a girl! And me having long hair…
You called that creep cute! You must have some kind of feelings for him! How could anyone think he was cute?
You called Ritsuka cute, too! How can you deny it, Mimuro?
Ugh, I hate Nisei. Quiet, Mei. Watch your mouth. You're defending him now? You know what he's really like, just like I do! And yet…Wow, you must really like him, Mimuro…
You don't like him like that? We're just friends. Doesn't seem like it. Well, it's true. Stop being irritating. Why are you blushing Mimuro? I'm not. Yes, you are. You know I'm right, don't you? Shut up, Mei! The more you deny it, the more I don't believe you. You're never to speak of this again; do you get that, Mei? That's an order. Hmph. No need to get testy.
Perhaps, the girl was right…when Nisei would tilt his head cutely to the side and smile before asking me for something, I felt his heart flutter. When school bullies would attack and pick on the frail fighter, I'd fight the almost protective instinct to step in and defend him. When Nisei would get in trouble for walking out of class early, or skipping school, or coming into class late, I would always be there to lend an ear for him to complain into. When Seimei would get extremely agitated with Nisei and injure him as punishment, I would be the one to help patch him up correctly; since Nisei was virtually useless in those matters for himself. When there was no school and Nisei had no orders to complete, I was the one he'd come to for plans.
Every hug, every simple touch, every word, every smile form Nisei was memorized in my head, and I would replay the best ones when I was daydreaming in class. I woke myself up from a…rather…explicit dream…one night, calling out Nisei's name. Thankfully, my mother slept like a log and didn't hear me. She'd never allow her son to think about another man in the way I was beginning to think about Nisei.
Over time, my reality started getting furry. Whenever Nisei would smile or laugh, I'd imagine how soft his lips would feel pressed onto mine. Whenever he would talk to me, no matter how simple the words were, I'd imagine hearing his voice call out for something else. When he'd put a hand on my shoulder while laughing or talking to me, I'd imagine his nimble fingers touching another part of my body to comfort me instead. When he'd whisper in my ear during assemblies, I'd imagine him whispering something more enticing to me. When I'd see him holding back tears from his father calling him a moron for the thousandth time, or Seimei berating him again for falling through on orders or a promise, I'd imagine holding him close and whispering into his hair to comfort him.
I began feeling something I never thought I'd feel. Not towards Nisei, but towards Seimei Aoyagi; his sadistic psycho of a sacrifice and master. I knew what I felt for Seimei for a long time; I hated him. Really, truly, deeply hated him. I despised everything he did, everything he said. Seeing his face made me want to go punch a wall. But I'd started feeling something more for him. No, I wasn't falling for Seimei, and I'd have Nisei set me on fire if I ever did. I was jealous.
Jealous of Seimei? Of Seimei Aoyagi? The guy who was forced to abandon the brother he was strangely in love with, and the devoted mother that never gave up on him, because he just couldn't stop killing people. The teenager who was forced to fake his death and go into hiding at the home of some 50 year old former sacrifice. The guy who turned the entire organization he was a part of against him, because he killed people without mercy, because he forced Nisei to beat and rape another member, because he committed so many crimes against the human race that he had to be destroyed. The guy who single-handedly rallied up Septimal Moon's greatest enemies to join together against them. The guy who messed with his brother's head so much that the boy was deluded into thinking that Seimei loved him unconditionally. I was jealous of that bastard? What was this world coming to?
Why was I so jealous? Simple. He had the one thing I could never get. Nisei's complete and undying, unwavering affection, respect, support. He had Nisei's time and had Nisei at his beck and call for anything and everything that he needed done. As days passed, and Seimei's plans got deeper and deeper, I saw Nisei less and less. He hardly showed up for class, let alone Wednesday meetings of Game Club. He hardly called me randomly during the day on weekends to make plans, or to complain about Seimei. He hardly stopped by to be patched up because he had had to deal with the business end of Seimei's switch blade. He messaged me once saying "I'm alive", if only to make me aware.
Eventually, the contact between me and Nisei stopped completely. I couldn't reach him on his cell, at his apartment, at Seimei's apartment, at school, or his usual hangouts. I began to miss his laugh, his smile. I missed the words he'd utter that seemed to advanced in vocabulary for someone of his age. I missed hearing him cry to when bullies would take things a step too far and injure him. I missed him sneering and mocking me every time a girl flirted with me. I missed seeing him on my doorstep, bleeding and broken, and begging for assistance. I missed his hand on my shoulder and my knee. I missed his voice when he was embarrassed; how he'd flush and look away to whisper something he didn't really want me to hear. I missed his late night calls and texts. I missed him complaining about the sacrifice I was both jealous of and hated. I missed walking into Game Club and seeing him lounging on the couch, playing on his DS and avoiding everyone; until he noticed me and smiled in my direction. I missed just being in the same city as him, knowing where he was, and I missed the feelings and the urges I got whenever he was around.
Although Nisei Akame went missing on November 16, 2010, he was reported missing by his mother on December 5, 2010. The school didn't report him missing because him playing truant was actually commonplace; something his family didn't know about, since he was emancipated and lived on his own. I would have reported it myself, but what could I have done? Say that my best friend, who I was beginning to admit I wanted to be more, hadn't called me or come to school in weeks, and I was worried about him? Say that I knew he was probably off in Gora committing homicides because someone told him to? I'd find myself in prison or a mental ward, myself.
I went a year and a half missing Nisei. Mei and I continued on with fighting to get better and better. We were still no match for units like Loveless or Beloved; Ritsuka and Seimei respectively. I continued through eleventh grade and began twelfth grade as the President of Game Club. We've gotten new members here and there, but none are sufficient enough as replacements for Nisei. The other members don't seem to notice his absence; or if they do, they just don't say anything about it. Nisei's parents and sister have long given up the search; figuring that Nisei had gotten involved in some illegal activity that forced him to go into hiding in America. Where they got the idea was beyond me. Teachers never bothered me with questions or comments about Nisei being missing anymore. The days were long, and the nights were short. I was definitely losing out on something in life without Nisei at my side; whether as my best friend or the guy I was in love with. I was trying to move on, but I couldn't.
I'm still jealous of Seimei for having taken up so much of Nisei's time before his disappearance. I still hate Seimei with all my heart. For treating Nisei like a slave, for hurting him. And, most of all, for taking him away from me. Ever since the day I realized I would probably never see Nisei again, I knew it was because Seimei's preparations were complete, and he was ready to set his plan into motion. I had spent three months denying that something had happened to Nisei. I spent those three months thinking that he was with Seimei in some remote location, waiting to attack. I didn't want to think that Nisei was dead; either being killed in battle or being killed my Moonless, in accordance to the death order on his and Seimei's heads.
I thought about the Nisei that I remembered. The Nisei that hid his true face behind a mask. The one that put up a barrier to hide his crippling power signature and his devilish smirk. The Nisei who would keep starting at the floor when being addressed by someone other then me or Seimei; only shifting his eyes up if necessary. I missed the fragile, whining, whimpering, complaining, flirtatious teenager that I had come to know and…loved…
I spent the next two months in a crippling depression, knowing that my worst fears had probably come true. That Nisei had died and that Seimei had moved on to do whatever it was he had been planning since he was given Nisei as a fighter seven years ago. I gave into the idea that I would never see the lithe, chocolate eyed, black haired teen again. I didn't come out of my room unless it was to eat or make a little appearance for my mother's sake. I stopped going to school, and eventually, I stopped leaving my room altogether. I stayed there until Mei came over to my house after school one day and barged up to my room; pounding on the door and demanding that I got my backside out of the room.
"He's gone, Mimuro!" She told me. "You know he's not coming back. That doesn't mean you have to stop living, too! You have to live for yourself. And if not for yourself, then for me and your mother! And if not for us, then for Nisei! Live the life that got robbed from him by Seimei's cold, calculating mind." At every name, she pounded harder against the door. "Come back…my sacrifice…please…?"
I didn't come out until the next day at breakfast. I went back to school. I got back to Game Club and because club president again. I did just what Mei said. I lived for her, for my mother, for myself, and, most importantly, for Nisei Akame.
With the first five months of his disappearance far behind me, I was able to get back into the swing of things for eleventh grade. I still thought about Nisei, and often dreamed of him. I'd play console RPG games and name my main character 'Nisei'; always changing their appearance to match his as best as I could. Okay, so maybe I was obsessed. Or just crazy. I prefer the term 'devoted'.
If September 21 2010, the true day of Nisei's disappearance, was the worst day of my life, May 20, 2012 was the best. I was woken up by someone being in my room, rifling through my paperwork on my desk. I figured it was my mother, so I moaned at her to stop digging through my personal stuff. When she didn't answer, I turned to face her.
"Mo-" I was cut off.
Sitting at my desk, legs crossed daintily over one another, was not my blonde, elderly mother. But rather a way-too-thin teenage male with long raven black hair and hardened, chocolate colored eyes. I sat up quickly, hoping my sleepy eyes weren't deceiving me.
"N-Nisei….?" I wondered, rubbing the sleep from my eye.
I saw his thin lips curl up into an unmistakable smirk.
"Long time no see, sempai." His voice was deeper now, harder.
"Where…I thought you were…"
"Dead?" He scoffed once, folding his twig-thin arms and leaning back in the chair. "I wish."
"It's just me now. Seimei's fled off to America." Nisei rolled his eyes. "He abandoned me the same way he abandoned Agatsuma. Only difference is that he hasn't tried to convince me that he's dead. I can still sense him out there. The bastard left me to rot…"
"Where were you?"
"Seven Voices Academy, where else?" Nisei shook his head. "You're either really sleepy, or you got dumber since I've been gone."
I glared, but I was smiling. It felt good to have the jackass back in my life. Without being able to control myself, I launched from the bed, recovering quickly from sleep, to wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his chest. I felt him stiffen as I did so, but then one of his arms went around my shoulders and pat me on the back.
"It's good to see you, as well…" Nisei muttered.
I wasn't sure if he meant it, but I really didn't care.
"I thought something happened to you…"
"A lot of things happened to me. It's been a year and a half, for god's sake."
Nisei didn't speak for a moment, making me look up at him and lock our eyes together. I had expected him to have a snappy comeback right away. Finally, he smirked and his eyes softened a bit.
"It's going to take a lot more then Septimal Moon and Seimei's brat of a brother to take me down."
God, he sounded like Seimei. I wanted to hit him, hug him tighter, and kiss him all at once. I settled for nuzzling into his chest for a moment.
"Why didn't you call me? Or text me…"
"Seimei forbid any contact with the outside world. That was the condition of what happened this weekend. We all abided by it. Chouma, Bloodless, Seimei, myself…" He trailed. "But I don't want to talk about that just yet. I'm not ready to suffer the humiliation of it all."
"It doesn't matter right now…because you're back…" I muttered.
Nisei grabbed me by the nightshirt collar and pulled me off of him. "Now, now, don't get all mushy and caring on me." He ordered. "This isn't you, Mimuro. You're not a sniveling mess."
If it were anyone else, I would have berated them for it. But since it was Nisei, I knew that he was actually grateful for my response to him being alive, but that he didn't have the words to say. He may have been a fighter, and words were supposed to be his specialty, but he didn't know how to react to people actually caring about him. Being a self-proclaimed sociopath, it wasn't a surprise.
"I'm happy to see you too, Nisei." I grabbed his hand and released his iron-like grip on my shirt.
He tried to pull his hand away, but now it was my turn to have an extremely tight grip.
"Sempai…" Nisei tried to pull away again.
"Nisei…" I muttered. "Um…don't…"
"Don't?" Nisei stopped pulling to stare at me in confusion. He titled his head to the side. "Please let my hand go, sempai?"
I shook my head. That wouldn't work this time. I stood and pulled him with me. "Sit." I told him, moving towards the bed and pushing him down.
Nisei fell gracefully on the edge of the bed, still staring up at me. I got down on my knees between his legs and I pulled him into a hug again.
"I missed you…so much…" I informed him.
"I-I can see that…" Nisei muttered, pushing me away a bit to look at my slightly watery eyes. He rubbed off a tear and looked at it curiously. "Crying…?" He spoke as though he didn't understand the concept of it. "What's wrong with you? You're so…"
"I missed you is all." I leaned forward and kissed the tear off of his finger.
He cocked a dark eyebrow at me, flushing wildly. "S-Sempai…what are you…?"
He was silenced as I adjusted myself to be straight up, my face level with his.
"You will never have any idea of how worried I was about you…" I put a hand on his cheek.
"You…you were worried…about me?" He was confused. "Why would you worry about me…? There's…"
"I haven't heard heads or tails of you in a year and a half. I know what Seimei's made you do in the past, and I…I assumed the worst…" I was flushing now, as well. "I thought you were dead, Nisei. It took me five months to understand and accept that you were…and now…"
"Well…sorry to worry you…" He muttered, looking down and away.
"N-No, don't apologize…" I responded. "I'm just telling you…what's happened since you've been gone…but now you're here, so it doesn't matter." I smiled softly. "Now you can put what happened in Gora behind you, and go back to school with me."
Nisei recoiled as if he'd touched something foul and rotting. Since he'd handled a dead and charred body once, you would think he'd be used to touching foul things.
"I'm not going back to school, are you kidding me?"
I made my face as serious as possible. "No." I said. "You only have a year to go. Why stop now?"
"I have to repeat eleventh grade, first off. And second, if I got to school, there will be records of me."
"So?" I wondered. "There's record of you already. What difference does it make?"
"Old records. Records that show that I've been gone for a year and a half." Nisei said. "If I stay away for another half a year or so, they can legally declare me dead."
"Why do you want to be legally declared dead?"
"So Moonless will stop looking for me." Nisei explained, as if it were simple. "I'm too young to die…" There was something in his eyes that I didn't recognize. Was that…fear…?
"I only came to stop in and let you know I was alive." Nisei said. "I'm leaving town."
"You're not…going to America, too…are you?" I swallowed the lump in my throat that was making it hard to breathe.
"Oh, no, no, nothing that far and drastic." Nisei waved a feminine wrist. "Just another one of the islands, where they won't catch me. I'll come back next May, after my birthday."
"Why not before?" I wondered. "So you can…be here…for it…"
"My entire family is going to think that I'm dead, my classmates are, teachers, the principal. Everyone I ever met and know now is going to think I'm dead." He sneered. "I'd rather spend my birthday alone."
"I'll know you're not dead."
Nisei paused. "Yes. You will…" He let a small smile crawl across his face.
I smiled back softly, then frowned. "Before you go, I have to talk to you about something…"
"Yes?" Nisei wondered. "What is it?"
"Well…I…" I took a deep breath. It was now or never. Or he'd vanish or a year and a half again and then I'd lose my patience and move on…
"Yes?" Nisei wondered, left eyebrow cocked up slightly.
"I just wanted to let you know, that I…uh…"
Nisei cocked his head to the left. "You…what?"
I sighed and sat up as straight as I could on my knees. With Nisei still looking at my cutely, I nibbled a bit on my lower lip. "Well, Nisei…um…"
"What? Spit it out." He glared, growing impatient.
I took his face in both of my hands. "I love you, Nisei…" I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his before he could stop me.
A spark flew through my body at the contact. My eyes slipped close after seeing the confusion and slight bliss in Nisei's own chocolate orbs. Oh, I hoped he didn't hate me for this…my thoughts of him hating me were quickly pushed away when I felt something warm and wet on my lower lip. Nisei's tongue…? My lips parted and is tongue contacted mine; wrestling around with it for a few moments before we separated. I leaned my head on his shoulder, squeezing my eyes shut and waiting for him to shove me away, or yell at me.
Nisei wrapped his arms around my waist and just held me for a moment. When I pulled back to look at him, he looked surprised but not angry. That was a relief.
"I…?" I flushed. "I love you…"
"I know. You've said that." Nisei looked away, flushing. "But why me?"
"Why…love a wreck like me…?"
"You're not a wreck."
Nisei gave me a look. "I'm not like you, Mimuro-sempai." He told me.
"No, you don't." Nisei clasped his hands between his legs, wringing them together. "I'm a murderer, sempai. And a hacker, and a thief, and a kidnapper, and a stalker…and a-a rapist…I…how could anyone ever love someone like that?" He sighed. "Maybe my father was right. I'm just a worthless little mess…"
"He's not right." I corrected. "And I know what you've done."
"You don't know all of it!" He was getting angry now. Or just upset. I couldn't tell which one it was. "There are things I've done that I haven't told you about…"
"So?" I wondered. "I don't care about your past, Nisei, because it's behind you." I took his face in my hands again and forced him to look up at me. "I love you, Nisei. Regardless of anything you've done, anything you're doing now, or anything you're going to do. I love you. I can't help it." I kissed his forehead. "So stop thinking the way you are."
"I can't help it." Nisei sighed, wrapping his arms around me and leaning against me. "I'm a psychopath. I don't even understand love, nor do I really want any part in it." He muttered. "I'm such a mess. I really don't understand why you, or anyone else, could ever love something as pathetic as me."
I pulled back from him and met his eyes with mine. "Stop talking like that." I ordered. "You're not pathetic. You're one of the strongest people I know."
Nisei's eyes shifted away, but went back to mine. He smiled a little, and I decided I loved his smile as much as I loved him.
"You're an idiot, Sempai." He informed me, reaching up to run fingers through my sandy blonde hair. "But…I guess you're my idiot…"
I leaned into his hand, closing my eyes, before I realized what he said and they snapped back open. "W-What?" I wondered.
He took my chin in his nimble fingers and kissed me. He pulled away after a few moments. "I…I love you too…s-sempai…"
I pulled him close and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'm glad."
He smiled softly. "But…" The smile faded off. "I-I'm leaving…"
"I'll wait for you…"
"Wait for me…?" He seemed surprised. "You'd wait a year and a half for me to return? Why not find someone else to…"
I silenced him with a kiss. "Because you're the one that I want, Nisei. You."
He flushed. "Come with me." He spoke quickly.
"What?" I blinked.
"Come…hide…with me…" Nisei spoke softly and slowly.
"Nisei, I…my mother…I can't just leave her…" I stumbled over my words a little bit. "I'll have to make her think I'm dead, too…"
"I know." Nisei looked away, nibbling on his lower lip. "I didn't want to ask. That's not why I came here. I just came to tell you that I was okay, that's it. I didn't anticipate any of this…"
"I mean, imagine how your mother would feel, and multiply it…my mother only has me. She doesn't have my father or a sibling of mine to cling to. Just me…"
Nisei glared at me. "Don't you think I feel bad enough for doing this to my own mother?" he wondered. "She's the only person in this world that has been at my side and defended me to my father every time he slammed me. She's the one person who's been there my whole life and supported me no matter what." He gave me a little look. "You have, too, but I haven't known you as long."
I nodded. "I know what you mean."
"I feel horrible for doing this to her, but I have no choice." He grinned. "When Seimei and I make our big come back and take over, then we'll let the world know we're alive."
"Big come back…?" I wondered. "Oh, Nisei, you two aren't planning something, are you?"
"I have nothing to do with it. It's all Seimei's idea." He waved me off. "But that's beyond the point." He gave me one of those heart-melting smiles that he rarely let people see anymore, tilting his head to the side innocently. "Come with me…Sempai…please…?"
"I love you…"
I gave him a look before sitting flat on the floor. "I love you, too, but that's not going to get me to melt and go with you." I said. "I'm so close to graduating…"
He frowned a bit before getting on his knees on the floor. "Please, sempai?"
Before I knew it, he was leaning over me, his black hair cascading down around us like a curtain. His dark chocolate eyes swirled with desire as he leaned down. "Come with me…" He whispered on my lips, before nibbling on the lower one.
I moaned slightly and arched off the floor for a bit. One of my hands gripped one of his arms and I pulled from him. He continued holding onto my lip with his teeth for a moment before letting go. He leaned down and nuzzled his forehead to mine.
"Come with me, Sempai…"
He leaned to my ear. "Perhaps I can change your mind." His tongue curled around the shell of my ear.
Too in shock and numb to do much more, I nodded. He gripped my left shoulder in his left hand and my chin in the other hand. He titled my head up and to the side a bit to nibble on my neck. He pulled back and leaned to my lips.
"I love you, Mimuro-sempai." He whispered. "Come. Run away with me…" I felt his breath ghost over my lips.
It wasn't until later that day that I would be able to make the decision that would change my life.
It's now June 29, 2012. A year and a few months have passed since Nisei snuck into my bedroom and back into my life. A year and a few months since I decided to walk out of my own life with him. Seimei's made little to no contact with him over the years from America. I can't say that I'm upset that he's not around for Nisei, because I get to spend all of my time with him. I had told Mei of what I was planning to do, and she said that she would find me once she turned eighteen in a few years; so we can be a unit again. As for my mother, I had decided to lay low for about three months before telling her where I was. I told her I was in trouble and had to go into hiding, and that if anyone asked her, she had no idea where I'd gotten off to. She hadn't argued, just asked me if I was safe and happy. Of course, I said yes. I was with the man I fell in love with all those years ago. How could I not be happy?
Once Nisei had made us fake documents, we took a ferry over to the island of Kyūshū. After arriving, we made the trek to the seaport town of Hirado. This is where we made our new permanent residence. We currently live underground, under Hirado Castle. Surprisingly, not many people come here. The only way to get to the catacombs of the castle, where we live, is through secret doors that had taken Nisei and me a couple weeks to figure out, together. Thus far, we've lived a pretty comfortable life. With fake ids and other documents, I had been able to get a job at a local ice cream stand in the summer. Nisei made a living as a world-class hacker. Thus far, we hadn't been caught; either through Nisei's hacking, or someone discovering us in the Castle. The place is open for the public to just come visit, so Nisei likes using word spell to make things happen and scare the lunches out of the people inside. It was one of the few times I'd see him laugh happily.
Knowing that his family was sure that he was dead was hard on Nisei. Harder then I'd thought. But he promised that one day, when Seimei rose to power and he and Nisei had nothing to hide from anymore, that the first people to know would be his own family. It was at that time that I would bring myself back into the world as well. Hopefully, with Mei at my side. If there came a time when we'd have to leave the country all together, Nisei claimed he had a cousin that moved to the states to escape Seven Voices Academy and Septimal Moon, and that we could stay with her for a while. It was a stretch, but I trust the man who took my ears unconditionally.
Like a curtain, humans will rise and fall many times over their life time. I fell hard. And like curtains, Nisei, Mei, Seimei, and I will rise again permanently. But for now, it's not so bad to lay low and enjoy a simple life with someone so important to me.