Title: Surprises
Pan Am
I own nothing
none || Up to 1x14 || PG
Dean/Colette, with Dean/Bridget and Colette/John
Summary: Colette wonders if 1963 should be the year she gives up on surprises.


It is 1963, that proves to be the year that Colette gives up on the childish notion surprises.

She had always loved surprises, since she was a child. Despite all she had suffered as she had grown she had never lost her love of surprises. Any kind of surprise made her happy, whether it was a small one like a friend with a sweet treat or a big surprise like a lover with a layover. Surprises made the bleak and terrifying world just a little bit more beautiful. She operates on a three strikes basis, like that baseball game that Dean and Ted are always going on about.

The first strike was John. Handsome and not-so-happily married John. She told herself she did not mind. She told herself she should have expected it. After all, she and Maggie had always lamented over the fact that all the good men were taken or worse. She told herself it did not matter, but that disclosure would have been nice. Because as French as she was, she did not sleep with other women's husbands. It was only worsened when John's perky wife knew along, and gave Colette a stern warning about sleeping with other women's husbands.

The second strike was Dean springing a visit to his parents on her as he corrected her English. She thought they were just going to fly. If that surprise was not bad enough, they thought she was Bridget. While his dear mother went with the flow and embraced her, his father did not. His father kept pressing the issue of Bridget and then had the audacity to ask her if she were expecting across the lunch table. It had eventually all been resolved over the dinner table and after a roll in the hay. It still served as a second strike against surprises. One more strike and they were out.

The final strike against surprises was Bridget. Bridget returned after months away and as if nothing had happened. Bridget who came back with her lies about a phantom illness. Bridget who could not accept that Dean had moved on with her. Bridget who had broken Dean's heart, a heart that Colette had picked up the piece by piece. She got him caught in her web of lies. Before, Colette had a chance to stop the descent into madness before Bridget had marked her territory and claimed him as her own. She supposed she should of known all along, she was just the in-between girl. The girl who occupied men while their wives kept their bed warm or while their finances disappeared. She would just be picked up and dropped at a moment's notice for someone better. She knew was not worthy of the happy endings like the ones she read about in her books. Bridget's return served as the third and final strike against surprises. She gave up on them. Hated them. Surprises brought nothing but more pain. She did not think she could handle any more pain. She had lived through too much.

Omar gave her the final bombshell of 1963. Perhaps the most shocking. She had a brother, someone who looked like her, someone who had her genes. A brother. The surprise came with a clause of course, she lost Omar but she did not care, she had a brother. Then as she waited for the ball to drop to announce the New Year, Dean appeared with apologies and a promise of a future.

It as she embarks on a New Year that she wonders if 1964 would be the year her faith in surprises.