My Beautiful - A Hello Beautiful Outtake by SoapyMayhem
Thanks to my beta's Twimarti & SueBetaFairy
My Beautiful was an EPOV outtake I submitted for SU4K to raise money for SU2C (Stand Up to Cancer) I hope you all enjoy it! More A/N at the bottom.
Summary: During a trip to Chicago with his stepdaughter, Edward reflects on the extent of his feelings for Bella. While drunk, Bella makes a shocking confession. EPOV for Chapters 53-57
Dedication: To Steven Marshall
A Hello Beautiful Outtake
The commute back to the hotel was spent, for the most part, psyching myself out – telling myself that I could do this, that I could turn off those fucking feelings and stop my body from reacting the way it did whenever she was around. If I could just find something else to focus on, or I don't know... distract myself in some way, then maybe I could make it through the rest of the trip without humping my stepdaughter like an oversexed jackass.
Playing the part of an impotent man for the better part of a year had been nearly impossible with the object of my darkest desires constantly running around, dressed in nothing but those tiny fucking shorts, alternating between low-cut tank tops and half my old college t-shirts that she'd commandeered from my closet.
Why couldn't she look like most teenage girls? This would be so much easier to manage if her body didn't tempt me, or haunt me with the urge to devour her like a starving man.
Girls that age rarely caught my eye, at least not often in the last ten or twelve years, but there was something about Bella. She had a kind soul... an old soul, and to make matters infinitely worse, my stepdaughter had, without a doubt, the most luscious fucking ass I'd ever seen.
Most days, I found myself baffled that God would create such a stunning creature and place her in my path, tempting me beyond reason – driving me insane with the insatiable need to sink my cock inside her tight little body. It would be so fucking good. There was no doubt in my mind about that fact.
Bella was sin, and I knew that I was surely destined for hell because of all the impure thoughts that delicious body inspired. Not to mention the countless times I'd taken my hard cock in my fist and pumped it rough and fast till I came, uttering her name like a fervent prayer.
But there wasn't a thing I could about it now. Especially after that day in the kitchen when I felt her up. That was the day when I realized I had truly lost it. I couldn't let that happen again. I just couldn't let it get that far. As it was, I was already standing too close to the fire, my palms already seared with the memory of her sweet flesh and how soft and perfect she felt in my hands.
I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. The fucked up part was that there was no way I could avoid spending time with her, and I honestly didn't want to either. My mind seemed to crave her as much as my body – maybe more. On one hand, I wanted to be around her always, worshipping her, protecting her, fucking her, anything I could do to be close to her, but on the other, the rational part of my brain, the part that wasn't crowded with lust and the strange tinglings of love, seemed to hold me in check, reminding me that Bella wasn't mine.
She's my stepdaughter, and nothing more. She'll never be mine... my beautiful...
At least not until Renee is out of the picture.
Once the divorce was final, I knew I needed to take some time to distance myself from that life, and what Renee and I once were. Maybe even let Bella grow up a little, get out and experience adulthood with the hope that one day, if I could somehow stay involved in her life, she might see me differently, the way I saw her.
Then I had to wonder what she'd think about my plan – if she even decided to commit to Northwestern, would she feel like my presence here in the city was an annoyance or maybe even an invasion of her privacy? Or would she see it for what it was – my attempt at staying close, so that at the very least, if I couldn't have her, I would at least be there as a friend, be someone that she could trust and count on, someone who could pick her up if she drank too much, or give her a quiet place to study during midterms, maybe even be that shoulder for her to cry on if some asshole decided to break her heart.
I didn't dare hope for more. Not if I wanted to keep my sanity.
My mind was so focused on thoughts of Bella that I barely even registered the fact that my car had finally come to a stop in front of the hotel and the driver was already making his way to my door.
"Mr. Cullen, will that be all today?" the man asked, probably hoping to be dismissed for the evening. At this point, I had no intention of impeding on his time. My mind was fucking exhausted and I was eager to see Bella as well, even though I was still rather concerned about the conversation we'd shared the night before.
"No, that'll be all." I waved him off, grabbing my briefcase so I could head upstairs and face my fears, hoping that I could find the strength to resist the object of my desires.
The moment I opened the door to our suite, the sight of Bella assaulted me where I stood. My cock twitched, taking notice of the short little jean skirt she had on. She didn't need to turn around and bend over for my mind to conjure the image of the denim fabric riding up over her luscious ass, giving me a glimpse of the silky pink panties I'd once found stuck to the side of the dryer one day – the very same ones I was tempted to keep until I realized how fucking perverted it was.
My imagination was starting to run away with me, and I couldn't stop myself from wishing that she'd be wearing those panties, knowing that it was too much to hope that she might have been thinking about me and wanting my cock so bad that a little wet spot soaked right through to the center just between her shapely thighs.
The temperature seemed to go up about a hundred degrees in there, and I hadn't even said anything to my beautiful. Clearing my throat a little, I muttered out a quick, "Did you have a nice day?" She didn't answer, though; she was too busy staring at me strangely as I removed my tie and jacket in an attempt to cool my body down and forget about the nasty thoughts running rampant in my perverted brain.
Still no answer. Was I that obvious? Could she tell that I was fighting with everything I had not to pop a fucking boner right now? Could she see my semi-hard cock twitching in my slacks?
Fuck it... "Bella?" I had to say something. I needed to know what was going on in that pretty little head of hers.
"Huh?" she asked wide-eyed, finally glancing up toward my expectant face. I at least needed to look like I had some composure, even if it was barely hanging on by a thread.
"I asked if you had a nice day," I said quickly, my brow raised in question.
Bella and I made small talk for several minutes, and I hated that I'd made things so awkward between us. We used to be so close and friendly with each other until my fucking dick started getting in the way.
It was also easier when I thought Bella and Riley were still together. I had to admit that he was nice kid, but dear God, I wanted to rip his fucking head off, especially when I realized they were probably fucking. It drove me insane, but it was exactly the reminder I needed to ensure that I kept my distance.
Now that Riley was out of the picture, I'd had to keep reminding myself that Bella was still my stepdaughter and that meant she was off limits, the most forbidden fruit imaginable. I couldn't have her.
For now, I'd have to settle for being her friend and stepdad. Reluctantly, I asked her what she wanted to do tonight. Yes... it didn't matter that I'd already sent my driver away for the night. We needed to get out of this confined space before my body's reactions ended up giving me away.
At my question, though, a strange emotion, one I didn't recognize, played on her face for a brief moment before it was replaced with a look that could only be described as mischievous.
"You know... I'm pretty tired after today – would you mind if we just stayed here?" she asked carefully, eyes never leaving mine.
Fuck... I don't think I can handle this right now. Swallowing the lump of desire in my throat, I pushed, hoping she'd change her mind "You sure you don't want to go out, have dinner or go to the cinema?" Please, Bella... She nodded, though, letting me know she had no interest in going out. Fucking Fantastic. "Uh, okay... then we could watch a movie here if you want?"
Maybe if we were in the dark together and her mind was focused on the television screen, she wouldn't notice my cock straining in my pants for the next few hours.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew she had her own ideas.
"Maybe we could try out the pool?" she suggested innocently, causing a war to break out inside me. Every rational bone in my body was screaming out warnings, making sure I understood that if I was within a hundred feet of Bella and one of her dangerously sexy bikinis, there was no way my body wouldn't react. My cock, on the other hand, was steadily waking up again to beg me to say yes, begging me to conjure every ounce of charm in my body with the intent to seduce my beautiful girl, have her on her back in front of me, legs spread, bare, waiting for me to worship her with my fingers... my tongue, with my aching cock.
You're fucking losing it, Cullen... calm down.
"Uh... I don't know," I told her nervously, hating the fact that I couldn't keep my body under control long enough to take my stepdaughter to the pool. I'd always thought of myself as a moral person, a standup guy. That was a joke. What a fucking perv I turned out to be...
"Come on, Daddy. I wanna go for a swim!" she said, poking her plump lower lip out in a way that got me hard as a fucking stone. Then my brain registered what she'd actually said.
Christ – anything but the fucking Daddy talk. The reaction I had when her sweet lips formed those innocuous little syllables was goddamn indecent. To make matters worse, she chose that exact moment, when I was already painfully hard, to cross her arms over her perky little tits, which just seemed to make them look even perkier and fucking hell... I couldn't not give her what she wanted.
What I want is to push my cock into something warm and wet before my balls explode.
Feeling stunned and a bit speechless, I cleared my throat and nodded my head in agreement.
God... I was such a fucking pushover.
"I'll uhh... just go get my trunks," I mumbled after a moment before walking awkwardly back to my room. I had no idea if Bella had seen the rather large tent I'd pitched in the front of my slacks. Nothing could be done now if she had. I'd just have to hope and pray that she didn't put two and two together to realize that she was the reason for my body's rather inappropriate reaction.
Once I was in the sanctuary of my room, I slumped against the door, my hand immediately coming to rest on my cock just to give myself a bit of relief. As hard as I was, I didn't think I could make it tonight if I didn't handle this situation first.
Quickly, I undid my belt, leaving it hanging open as I unbuttoned my slacks and reached into my boxer briefs, finding my cock hard and sensitive. It didn't matter that it was just my hand providing the stimulation, it felt so fucking good that I had to bite my lip to stop myself from groaning and alerting Bella to nature of my illicit activities.
Fuck, that feels so goddamn good... but Bella's sweet little pussy would feel infinitely better. Fuck...
My hand covered the swollen tip briefly before gliding down to the base and back again. Increasing the pressure only intensified the sensation as I imagined Bella bent over in her little denim skirt, presenting a perfect pink pussy, wet and a waiting to be filled.
Oh yes... fuck yes...
There would be nothing to stop me from sliding right in, watching her petite little body quivering with pleasure as she stretched to accommodate my thick shaft, and... oh fuck... the wet sucking sound I knew her pussy would make as I pounded into her soft heat.
As ripe as my imagination was with various fantasies I had of fucking and making love to my beautiful girl, it wasn't long before I came in thick, hot spurts all over my hand.
Then the shame returned again, though I had to admit, I wasn't feeling half as guilty these days as I had in the beginning.
My desire for Bella hadn't waned in the least. If anything, I desired her more now than ever – more than any other woman I'd ever encountered.
If only I could just get control of my urges, at least until I could divorce Renee and give Bella some time and distance enough to think of me as just a man and not her stepdad. Maybe that was impossible, but I had no intention of giving up. I had to see if there could ever be something more between us... anything.
Not wanting to keep Bella waiting any longer than I had, I rid myself of the stuffy suit before digging through my bag to find my swim trunks.
I almost wished I hadn't brought them, so I might have at least had an excuse not to go to the pool with her, but then my dick reminded me that I had brought them on the off chance that I might get the opportunity to see her in a bikini again.
The fucking war going on inside my body was maddening. I wouldn't be surprised if I just fucking snapped one day.
If I was being honest, I had a feeling I'd wind up institutionalized at some point anyway, especially if Bella kept on dressing in skimpy clothes and calling me Daddy in that pouty little girl voice she always used when she was trying to get her way.
By the time I was in my trunks and out the door, Bella was standing there wearing this blue cover-up thingy. I don't know what it's fucking purpose was because the thing was so goddamn sheer, she might as well not even wear the damn thing.
Tonight was going to be a long fucking night...
It didn't take long for Bella and I to ride the elevators up to the roof level where the hotel's pool was situated.
As soon as we arrived, one of the hotel staff members had already approached us about ordering drinks and then immediately proceeded to freak me the fuck out.
"Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen – we'll have your drinks in just a few minutes."
Mr. and Mrs. Cullen... it was fucking embarrassing the way my heart stuttered in my chest at the thought of Bella becoming my wife. Oh God... am I seriously blushing?
This isn't fucking happening...
"Are you okay?" Bella asked suddenly, probably startled and concerned by the stunned look on my face. To make matters worse, she reached up to place her small hand on my bicep and began stroking it comfortingly.
Her touch, her bare hands on my skin was like being jolted with electricity, and all the energy was traveling down to my cock, shocking it back to life with a vengeance.
"Y-yeah... I'm uh... I'm fine... I just need to... I'll be right back," I stuttered, spotting a bathroom off to my left. I didn't care if Bella thought I had explosive diarrhea, I had to get the fuck away from her before the monster boner I was sporting burst right out of my goddamn shorts.
It wasn't until I was inside the room that I realized it wasn't a bathroom I'd entered, but a changing room filled with towels.
Now I look like a fucking moron. Great. "Goddamn that girl," I grunted irritably, knowing that it wasn't really her fault. I had no one to blame but myself.
After several minutes of internal debate, willing my cock into submission and berating myself for acting like the perverted jackass that I was, I left the dressing room and found Bella next to the pool, preparing to dive. Seeing her dressed in so little, I knew I'd have to keep my eyes trained somewhere other than her pert little breasts if I had any hope of getting out of here without incident.
Noticing the grim expression on my face, she called out my name, her eyes questioning, asking me if I was okay.
Of course I'm not okay. I'm a thirty-five-year-old man who's in love with his eighteen-year-old stepdaughter.
Not fucking okay in the least.
I muttered out an excuse, telling her that I needed to head back up to the room, making sure to let her know that I thought she should stay and have fun without me.
I didn't want her following me back to the room. I needed space and time to think, needed to get my head back on straight so I could make it through the rest of the weekend.
The disappointment on her face was clear, making me feel like the biggest fucking asshole on the planet, but it was already too late. Bella assured me that she'd be down in an hour, and at that, I left quickly, heading back to our room.
An hour passed, and then another. I was starting to get a bit worried.
Had something happened? Had Bella made a few girlfriends by the pool and lost track of time?
Was she up there being chatted up by some asshole in a speedo?
At that, my thoughts began to run rampant, imagining some young player type sweet-talking Bella down to his hotel room to...
Oh, fuck no... she's mine. Okay, so maybe she's not mine, but I'm still fucking responsible for her.
Without further hesitation, I scrambled to the elevators wearing nothing but my swim trunks and dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
By the time I made it to the rooftop level, I realized I hadn't even remembered to put on my fucking shoes.
That fucking girl is going to be the death of me.
As the double doors to the elevator opened, everything around me disappeared the moment I saw Bella standing there looking disheveled, her body leaning precariously against a potted palm tree to keep her balance.
She was so obviously drunk it wasn't even funny.
"Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed, shocked that I'd found my sweet girl in such a state. This behavior was so unlike the Bella I was used to.
"Edward," she shouted, but slurred the rest of her words so badly I had no clue what she'd even said. She then proceeded to wrap her arms around my neck, bringing her lips just inches from mine.
It would have been so easy to lose myself in a haze of lust, but the smell of alcohol on her breath was enough of a repellent to stop me from fucking attacking her the way I so desperately wanted to.
"Bella... my God, you're drunk... Fuck, let's get you upstairs, baby."
Oh fuck... that wasn't good. And she's the drunk one...
Luckily, her alcohol addled brain misinterpreted my words, letting me off the hook for the time being. "I'm not... I'm not a baby. I'm a... a... w-woman," she whined a little until finally she was actually crying. I could actually feel her tears dampening my shirt.
Good grief, she was a fucking mess, but I had to admit, she was right. "I know. Believe me, I fucking know."
Our back and forth banter continued until I'd carried the poor drunk girl back up to our room, where I'd struggled for at least a few minutes with the decision on whether or not to take her to my bed for the night so I could watch over of her.
My cock perked up again at the thought of it, but I ignored him for now. Bella was my number one priority at the moment.
Knowing it was for the best, I reluctantly put her to bed in the front room, taking care to cover her since that skimpy white bathing suit wasn't quite up for the job.
"Goodnight, beautiful," I whispered, pressing a small kiss against the delicate skin of her cheek. She stirred a little, her hands reaching out in the darkened room, searching for something.
"Edward," she sighed as her small hands wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer as if she planned to tell me a secret.
"What is it?" I chuckled a little, nervously leaning toward her sweet mouth.
"Mmm... that's another reason why I love you," she whispered, giggling a little. My heart stuttered in my chest at her words, but still, it wasn't like I'd never heard them before. I knew she loved me, but I had a feeling it wasn't the same way I loved her.
"Yeah? What reason is that?" I asked, trying my best to sound amused when I actually felt like I was dying inside, feeling fucking thankful that Bella was probably not coherent enough to notice the sadness in my voice.
"Hmm?" she replied faintly, seeming to have forgotten what she'd said.
"You said there was another reason... why you loved me..." I pushed, hoping she'd actually be able to form a complete sentence.
"Oh yeah... I love that you still call me beautiful... but... you know what?" Her voice was sugar and innocence, and my body's response to it only served in making me feel like the biggest perv on the planet.
"What?" I rasped, feeling a pang in my chest and a strain in my cock as I anxiously anticipated whatever words were about to fall from her sweet, intoxicated lips.
"You're my beautiful, too."
It's been a while since I posted anything. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm not gone, I've just been working with some other fabulous authors - CaraNo, Ooza, JustRobin, Catastrophia, Les16, & PrettyKittyFF to put together an indie publishing company! We are going to be publishing our original fiction under new pen names. If you'd like more info you can check out our site www MayhemErotica com (just add the dots)
Also for those following my original fiction, I have put out 2 eBooks since the last time I updated - Their Little Girl and Sophie's Sweet Surprise (Sweet Temptations #2) They are both available for sale on Amazon under my pen name - L.J. Anderson
As for what I plan on working on next - that is yet to be decided, but I do plan on posting more fanfiction in the coming months - finishing up some incomplete fics, and maybe starting something new! I hope to bring you so much more in 2013! Love you guys!