Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-made parody. Ranma ½ belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and everyone digs giant robots.
Ranma wanted to go back to China, she wanted to go back to Jusenkyo and find a cure for her curse. Why, why now of all times, did her idiot old man decide that now was the perfect time to come back to Japan and introduce her to her fiancee? Of course, her attempts at reasoning with the man turned panda had fallen onto stupid ears, he just wasn't going to listen and attempting to fight his way back to China had failed three times so far.
Damn that bastard's propensity towards cheap shots!
"For the last time you idiot, there's no way I'm meeting some girl that I've never met before like this!" Ranma emphasized her declaration with a kick to her father's muzzle as the girl and the panda battled in the streets of Tokyo's Nerima ward.
"I've got to get back to China," she shouted at him. "It's easy for you to brush off this curse, you're still a male!"
The panda of course responded by trying to grab Ranma again. Genma did not want to go back to China, and deal with more insane warrior women. It was a safer bet, he would try to reason with his son, to lay low for a while until the Jokestuzoku heat died down. But his son was as impatient as he, currently she, was strong and didn't hesitate to display by kicking Genma through a brick wall with little effort. "I'm going back. There's nothing in all of Japan that will make me stay here."
A tremendous explosion that sent Ranma through the same wall she put her old man through. Landing on the unconscious panda's stomach, she sat up and looked at the dust and smoke billowing from the point of impact.
"What… what the heck was… was…" She trailed off when she saw that the thingthat crashed into the ground was a fifteen meter tall midnight blue robot that looked kind of like a Gundam. She looked up at the face; it had the same face design, even a bright gold V-fin on its forehead.
"A Gundam? Seriously?"
The machine then looked towards her, its blue eyes flashing before an indignant girl's voice called out. "It's not a Gundam, it's a Huckebein!"
Ranma blinked. "A Huckebein?"
The machine lifted up its right arm, revealing the long barreled rifle it carried, and pointed it up at the sky. "I'm not going to lose to you!"
The machine opened fire, firing black and violet beams of light into the cloudy sky overhead, trying to hit something up there. Judging by how the machine kept pointing at different parts of the sky, it was missing. That was a moot point to Ranma however, she was stuck on the fact that there was a giant robot in front of her firing a beam rifle into the sky.
A final beam struck something, and there was an explosion, before something very fast dove out of the sky towards the Huckebein, smoke drifting from the barrier that surrounded its body. It was much skinnier than the the Huckebein, definitely built for speed. It didn't even have feet, just legs that ended in sharp points. The two binders on its back gave off a weird blue light, propelling it through the sky at incredible speed as it prepared its weapon, an arm mounted blade that gleamed in the same light.
"It's not looking so good for you though!" the speedy robot's pilot, another girl, taunted as her machine slashed at the Huckebein, which blocked with beam saber weapon quickly drawn from a holster on its hip.
The two broke off, and the Huckebein aimed its rifle again. The space immediately around the speedy robot rippled and in an instant it moved over five hundred meters away, avoiding the beam.
"Stupid Zero Shift!" The Huckebein's pilot yelled as she fired up her machine's engines and took to the air, leaving the gob smacked Ranma to stare up at the two machines.
"That… that's…" Ranma's eyes widened. "…That's so cool… a Gundam and an Orbital Frame…"
The Huckebein opened fire on its nimble opponent as it barreled through the sky, unleashing its black beam rifle and numerous missiles from the launchers atop its back-mounted binders, filling the sky with dozens of twisting and coiling contrails.
The Orbital Frame dodged the beam rifle shots, as its pilot taunted her attacker. "You'll never hit me in a million years, little sister~!"
In the next second, light released from the Orbital Frame's hands intercepted the Huckebein's missiles and filled the sky between them with explosions. Charging through the conflagration, the Huckebein fired its rifle again, only to miss as the Orbital Frame teleported away. Appearing above the almost black machine, the Orbital Frame summoned over a dozen fin-shaped missiles from out of thin air, before ordering them to attack the Huckebein.
Before Ranma's eyes, the missiles struck engulfed the Huckebein in another large explosion. Shielding herself from the brief shockwave that buffeted her, she lowered her arms and looked up to see a dark orb in the sky where the Huckebein had been.
"Huh," she heard the pilot of the Orbital Frame's voice call out, "So you upgraded your Gundam."
"I told you, Nabiki, it's a Huckebein!" The black sphere vanished, revealing the unharmed Huckebein.
"Sweet!" Ranma called out.
"Tomayto, Tomahto, Gundam, Huckebein. They're the same thing." Inside the cockpit of the machine, which was located in a rather hilariously awkward place right in the lower waist, Nabiki Tendo sat back in her seat and smiled down at her little sister's mecha. "It still won't touch me. So come on Akane, tryto put me in my place."
Inside her machine Akane Tendo bristled, and tossed away the beam rifle. Reaching to the left arm of the Huckebein, she drew a folded up shuriken and let it fly. "Go, Fang Slasher!"
Nabiki blinked as the weapon flew towards her. "Really?"
The arm blade on her Orbital Flame flipped forward, and she deflected the weapon with ease. Undeterred, the Fang Slasher whipped back around, and homed in on her, forcing Nabiki to teleport away from the attack.
Appearing safely away from the weapon, she was surprised to find another barrage of the Huckebein's missiles heading towards her and unleashed another screen of lasers to stop the attack.
"Pop! Pop! Wake up, look at this!" Ranma quickly tried to alert her still unconscious panda dad over the din of explosions. "There are robots fighting in the sky, it's crazy!"
She looked up again when she heard another roar and something passed directly over them. "Huh?"
The smoke billowing below her, Nabiki chuckled as her machine reported no damage whatsoever from the attack. "Akane, you're really going to have to do better than that."
There was suddenly a flash from the clearing smoke, and six much larger missiles rocketed towards Nabiki's unit. Rather than attempt to impact her, the missiles split open down the middle and began firing off beams at the Orbital Frame from different directions.
"What the… Funnels!" Nabiki yelped as she quickly moved to avoid the deadly beams. The funnels moved blindingly quick, changing direction and position in the sky around Nabiki regardless of gravity and bombarding her from all sides in an effort to keep her in place.
"Yeah, funnels!" Akane yelled as the Huckebein suddenly shot through the sky on atop a large craft packing four very mean looking cannons and even more missile launchers. "Now hold still, Nabiki!"
"Oh crap, the AM Gunner!" Nabiki raised a barrier around the Orbital Frame that quickly deflected the beams from the funnels. "I see your AM Gunner, and I raise you one Vector Cannon…!"
A large structure materialized over the body of the Orbital Frame, which Nabiki promptly aimed at the ascending Huckebein Gunner. In front of the structure, a ball of light appeared, surrounded by five glowing plates that began rotating rapidly clockwise around it.
"That's not good," Ranma realized.
Akane was of the same thought, as she quickly pushed a lever at her side forward. "Oh no you don't, Full Impact Cannon full power!"
Nabiki smirked as a monotone voice informed her, "Vector Cannon ready to fire."
The warring Tendo Sisters gripped their respective triggers, and shouted simultaneously-only to be drowned out by a much louder shout.
Before either sister could react, a screaming fire bird smashed into and through Nabiki's machine, destroying it utterly, and then went on to crash into Akane's, blowing it up as well.
The explosion woke Genma, who sat up and let out a loud growl. The panda looked up to see Ranma staring up at the sky, in awe as an even biggerwhite robot, taller than the Orbital Frame and Huckebein combined, slowly descended from the clouds and hovered over the neighborhood before coming to a landing in a nearby field. Genma's eyes bugged out at the sight of the robot, and he quickly got up.
Lifting its right arm, a long, bow shaped blade mounted on it, the white robot looked into its palm where Akane and Nabiki sat unharmed, if a little dazed. Then, a very calm, almost maternal voice spoke from the massive machine, "Nabiki-chan, Akane-chan, honestly! Having a fight like this in the middle of the day, do you even think about the damage you might've done?"
Sitting up, Akane pulled out a bullhorn, and called back. "Why'd you stop us, Kasumi! We were deciding who would be the one!"
Nabiki snatched the bullhorn from Akane and called to her. "It's Akane's fault, she should be the one to do it! I have too much work to do!"
Akane snatched it back. "And I don't!"
Nabiki snatched it again and got in Akane's face with it. "Anyone can build a stupid Gundam!"
Akane flipped it around. "IT'S A HUCKEBEIN!" She looked up to Kasumi. "I'm not getting engaged!"
Inside the fusion chamber of the super robot King J-Der, Kasumi shook her head. "Both of you! We're going to be civilized about this. Mr. Saotome and Ranma will be here any minute now, why don't you meet him first and then decide?"
Akane and Nabiki both folded their arms and grumbled, as the giant white robot began to ascend again. It was Genma's turn for him to stare in disbelief at what he'd seen. Nothing in Soun's letters said anything about this, why were these girls flying around in giant robots! Wait, no, he didn't want to know. In fact, he wanted to go back to China and wait a few years, maybe even find a cure. Sure there were crazy warrior women, but that was probably a safer bet. Wait…
Where was Ranma?
The panda turned around to find Ranma pouring a kettle of hot water on himself. Where he got it, the panda didn't know. Tossing the kettle to his old man, Ranma began checking himself over. "How's my hair look? Are my clothes okay?"
Ranma hummed. "Think maybe I should bring some flowers or something, girls like that, right Pop?"
Genma stood up. No, his son wasn't going to…
"Which way is the Tendo place again?" Ranma looked around, and then towards the direction the giant white robot went. "I'll just head that way until I find it!"
There was a hiss of water, as a now human Genma grabbed his son. "Where the heck are you going, boy? We're going back to China now!"
Ranma shrugged him off. "Are you kidding? You hooked me up with girls who have giant robots, China can wait! This is awesome!"
Genma tried to grab him again, and was promptly kicked in the head. Taking to the rooftops, Ranma raced fast as he could in the direction of the Tendo home, calling after. "Hey! Wait up! If you're looking for Ranma, I'm him! Hey!"
A/N: This story received a lot of praise and insistence that it should be made into a full length tale. Should it or should it not? Don't be afraid to offer your feedback and critique!