I finally got around to really finishing and editing this One Shot. It's dedicated to kaja1234 for being the 200th reviewer of my other story Rewrite and she wanted some ItachixNaruto smut and me being as slow and uncreative as I am, it took… half a year… I think. I'm going to hell…


Sneaky Bastard –

"Try to never cross his way. If you end up doing so anyway, don't speak if he's in earshot. Avoid any body contact. If you ignore these warnings, don't make me responsible if he rapes you."

"I'm sure he won't–"

"Do not look into his eyes. Ever."

Naruto forced out a mocking laugh as he shrugged. "Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit? Your brother can't be that bad. You make it sound like he's the devil or something."

"Oh no, he's not the devil." Knowing of the questioning frown being sent his way, the raven's face darkened. "He's probably forming plans for future world domination together with the devil in hell's basement." The silence that followed actually seemed suspicious to Sasuke, since usually, Naruto would have had brought a retort by now. Something idiotic for sure. Nothing came though. Glancing to his side, Sasuke found the blond pressing a hand to his mouth as if he was about to throw up.

Noticing the weird look on Sasuke's face, Naruto glared at his rival with horror in his eyes. "Was what just came out of your mouth… humor?" Not even waiting for an answer, the blond faced forward again and hunched over a little. "It's a bad sign, a really bad sign. Something horrible is going to happen today." A slap across the back of his head sent a grin onto his face and Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "No, seriously. I just don't believe that your brother is that evil."

"He's a sneaky bastard."

Naruto only smiled and shook his head as he strolled alongside his eternal rival. They were headed for the Uchiha household since they had been assigned as partners for a project in school and Naruto's apartment was not fit for working on a school project. They had both protested, but ended up having to do it together anyway. Kakashi could be stern when he wanted to, especially when it came to school and his lectures about literature.

"He's a sneaky bastard and he'll rape your ass. It's just the way his messed up brain works: Rape whatever people I bring, no matter who it is. It's been like that whenever I bring guests back home."

"So it's cause of your brother that you never invite anyone to your place?"

Sasuke lazily threw up his hands in response. "Please, why do you think I have been turning down girls all this time? It's mainly to protect them."

"Sure," Naruto chuckled, shaking his head with a lop-sided grin. In an instant though, his expression turned horrified again. "You suddenly having developed a sense of humor really is scary. It can't be good. I should be scared, shouldn't I?"

"That's what I've been trying to make clear," Sasuke replied as they both boarded a bus.

The seemingly meaningless conversation went on for a little, before Naruto fell asleep from exhaustion, only to be woken up by an annoyed and drool-soiled Sasuke, the wet spot on the Uchiha's shoulder courtesy of Uzumaki Naruto.

After a punch to the side of the blond's head and after exiting the bus, Naruto found himself in a nice-looking neighborhood. They reached the Uchiha building after a short time and standing in front of it, the blond was impressed by the fact that it wasn't a tall mansion like he had expected, but a house widespread over a large property. It was still above average, seeing how the garden he was walking through looked as if a lot of time and effort had been put into it. Gulping down the lump in his throat, Naruto followed Sasuke who was already at the front door. The other seemed in a rush to open the door and for the first time, Naruto thought he really should be nervous about entering this house. This supposed hell hole, as Sasuke had once put it.

Growling, the raven harshly pushed open the door and sent borderline-paranoid glares in all directions. "I think we're safe," he mumbled under his breath, tip-toeing into the entrance hall. He tried to place his keys onto a counter as quietly as possible, but the tiny sound they made anyway didn't go unheard by the bat ears that belonged to the person in the kitchen.

"Sasuke? Is that you?"

A woman only a little shorter than Sasuke stepped out of what looked to be a kitchen, while wiping off her hands with a towel. Spotting the guest, her eyes widened a little, before her smile widened.

"Is this a friend?" she inquired almost gleefully, quickly stepping closer. After hearing a small Yes, mother from her son, the woman was in front of Naruto in an instant. "You must be Naruto-kun then!" she cooed as she shook the blond's hand. "You can call me Mikoto."

"Y-Yeah. Nice to meet you." Quite overwhelmed by the mere friendliness of the person that had carried around a bastard like Sasuke for nine months, Naruto was at a loss for words. He had actually expected a stern and uptight secretary type of person to be his rival's mother.

"Excuse me for a second." Only now letting go of the blond's hand, Mikoto suddenly turned around and ran off. Once she had disappeared, the two teens could hear her padding down the floor and coming to a halt, then softly speaking to someone. She came back with the personification of Naruto's image of Sasuke's father.

Uchiha Fugaku looked fierce, even though he didn't have an especially angry or unfriendly expression across his features. He was like Naruto had imagined him to be: uptight, like Sasuke. The man regarded the blond in his entrance hall with an imploring gaze and it made the teen feel as if he was being thoroughly analyzed. Too thoroughly. He merely nodded at Naruto in a curt greeting and mumbled a Good evening. For a short moment he glanced at his youngest son, before turning to his wife. "When is Itachi coming back from his business trip?"

Mikoto, still with her never faltering smile on her face, averted her attention away from Naruto and to her husband. "He should arrive in a while."

"Good." Not even sparing the two teens another glance, the man left as did Mikoto, who announced that she would be making snacks and therefor headed back into the kitchen.

Sighing in relief, Sasuke relaxed his tensed shoulders a little. Rubbing his eyes, he simply walked away, expecting Naruto to follow him. The two ended up in the living room and finally got to starting their project. Well, Sasuke was working while Naruto kept complaining about Sasuke simply dividing up the work and ignoring the fact that they were supposed to work together. The blond was utterly lost.

"Anyway," Naruto moaned out in an annoyed fashion after accepting his fate of never grasping whatever they were supposed to do and being left for dead by his partner, "is it really safe staying in the living room?"

Sasuke didn't part from what he was working on when he replied. "It really doesn't matter where we are. Believe me, I've tried locking myself and guests in my room and he still got to the people I brought. It's actually mainly about being able to avoid Itachi's advances. Up until now, he always got to his victims the moment I leave the room or am off guard. If I'm careful to never leave his pray out of my eyes, he won't have a chance."

"You sure?"

Now, the raven finally cared to actually look at his classmate. "Well, it's your ass that's going to be raped, so why I should I care?"

"You bastard!" Naruto immediately yelled, ready to strangle the other. "And here I thought you were actually concerned about me!"

"No, to me it's mainly about not loosing against Itachi."

Seething and mumbling curses, Naruto decided on the silent treatment as ultimate punishment for Sasuke. And threw a pencil against the other's forehead.

What did Sasuke do? He threw a lamp at Naruto's head.

A smooth voice suddenly interrupted the newborn quarrel between the two teens.

"Sasuke, this isn't how you are supposed to treat a guest."

Looking up, Sasuke's features darkened in an instant. "Itachi," he ground out lowly. "What do you want?"

The tall Uchiha stepped further into the room, sent a small glance towards the blond guest, then focused on his little brother. "Father wants to speak to you about something. It looks like he is dissatisfied by you abandoning the piano classes."

"How does he even know about that?" Sasuke questioned with little to no confused tone in his question, as if he already knew the answer.

The older of the two merely shrugged with a smirk. "I wonder. He also said you should hurry."

Knowing there wasn't anything he could do, Sasuke clenched his teeth as he released a growl. He rushed away in a hurry, probably in hopes of being able to return soon enough.

Let's hope that dumb-ass doesn't get raped too bad.

Stiff as a board, all Naruto could do was longingly stare after his supposed friend. He went even more rigid when he heard the tiny hum behind him. Jerkily, he turned his head around to see the older Uchiha staring at him as if he was a nice piece of meat. Which he probably was, in Itachi's eyes.

"Naruto-kun, I suppose," the raven-haired man all but purred. "I apologize for my little brother's rudeness. He tends to be unable to control his temper. Apparently around you especially."

"I-I'm aware." Trying to be inconspicuous about it, the blond backed away further and further from the man. He felt uncomfortable being too close to Itachi, even though he couldn't be sure if what Sasuke had said was actually true. Seeing that smirk on the other's face didn't quite do anything to soothe his mind though. Rather, it only unsettled him even more.

Itachi suddenly advanced towards the blond, not missing the way the younger flinched and tried to back away. "It seems as if my little brother has told you something about me."

"N-N-Not at all!" Laughing nervously, Naruto soon found the back of his legs hitting what had to be the rests of an armchair. Being the clumsy blond he was, he of course fell backwards with a gasp and landed across the soft, cushioned chair, his legs dangling down the side. His expression turned horrified when he saw the other's widening smirk and realized just how helpless he was. He released a tiny squeak of terror when he watched Itachi closing in on him like a predator.

"Say, Naruto," the Uchiha leaned down to cup Naruto's chin with two fingers, inching close enough to let the blond feel his breath on his face, "you are a virgin, are you not?" The young man chuckled when he could clearly watch the red color spreading over the teen's face. "Those are the most fun."

There wasn't much Naruto could do but remain in shock when lips descended down onto his and he was held in a tight grip he couldn't escape. He was too overwhelmed to even react to the tongue invading his mouth and sliding over his. The blond felt the slick muscle roughly exploring the inside of his mouth and robbing him off of his until then only slightly composed mind. He tried to struggle, to turn away his head and even succeeded in breaking the kiss, but felt a chill running down his spine when he saw the frigid smile on Itachi's face.

"Interesting," the older man whispered huskily. "You're the first one to show some resistance." Completely ignoring whatever protests that left the blond's mouth, the man reconnected their lips and snuck his fingers all the way down the slightly trembling teen's torso. His hand quickly found the front of Naruto's pants, the tips of his fingers softly outlining the bulge that had formed. Itachi clearly enjoyed the barely contained, although quiet grunts and moans, his tongue continuously stroking Naruto's in a way that drove the blond mad. His tracing the growing bulge in the blond's pants over time morphed into lightly groping the teen's length through the fabric. He was merely squeezing, not enough to be satisfactory, but enough to drive Naruto nuts, longing for more.

The blond teen knew that this was his last chance to go back, to say No and leave. But the cocktail of hormones muddled up his brain and blocked whatever rational thoughts he had left. The pleasure fell around him like a curtain that encased him completely and kept him in a state of bliss. Bliss that was brought by taunting, which made the pain of wanting more, the pain of longing, stronger by the second. Gasps left the blond's lips, skin flushed, eyes glazed and half-lidded. Through his nearly shut lids Naruto could see the predatory, yet reserved smirk on Itachi's face and couldn't help but moan when the man's grasp got tighter, made him buck into the large hand. The teen viewed the tighter grip he had craved for as a reward for his interaction. In his dazed state, Naruto decided that pleasing Itachi and ending it soon was the best way to go.

He arched his back unintentionally at a hard jerk though and an especially dragged out moan rumbled up from his throat. With some trouble he glanced up at the raven-haired man, pressing a hand to his mouth when he finally registered the sounds he was making. He flushed bright-red, turning his face to the side as the thought of struggling came back to him. The moment he heard the zipper of his pants being pulled down, he somewhat snapped out of his daze and abruptly sat up. His eyes held panic when he looked at Itachi.

A dark chuckle sounded from deep within the man's chest. An unsettling sound. He leaned into the smaller male, their faces only inches apart, and Itachi could clearly hear the blond's hitched breathing and feel the heat radiating off of his skin. He cupped the teen's chin with his thumb and pointer, seeming as if genuinely amused. "You truly are captivating, Naruto-kun." The hand on the teen's face slowly dropped and trailed down to Naruto's chest. Still smirking, Itachi pushed the blond into the chair he was in and loomed over him as his other hand wandered towards the pants he had been aiming for before. His fingers swiftly slipped inside before Naruto could resist. He watched Naruto melt into his touch, trying to trap any sounds that wanted to leave in his mouth by covering it up again with one hand.

Any composure beginning to slip away again, Naruto pushed his legs together, but was forced to keep them apart with Itachi's hand in his pants. The stroking, the warmth, the nails sometimes scraping over his sensitive skin, they sent him reeling, gasping for breath. Now it was too late to back out.

Although the sounds were coming out of his own mouth, they sounded foreign to Naruto. He didn't consciously make them, he couldn't control them. All he could do was endure this loss of control and wait until it was over. The blond almost didn't feel the lips ghosting over his collarbone and occasionally biting down on his skin. He didn't hear the sounds he was making himself, nor did he care that he was positioned very awkwardly, his posture even causing pain that he didn't notice.

When everything ended with a burst of tingling sensations running all throughout his body and stars appearing in his vision. He relaxed instantly, slumping down into the chair. He briefly felt Itachi's hand still stroking him. The blond for a moment thought that the other was perhaps wiping his stained stomach clean, judging from what he felt on his skin, but he couldn't be sure since he was still too out of it to register it properly. He only heard his zipper being pulled up next and slowly began to regain his senses more and more. After a while, he noticed his unbelievable fast and hoarse breathing. He sounded as if he had just finished a marathon.

Standing in front of the blond, Itachi had a slight smirk lining his features as he once again eyed the flushed and exhausted teen before him. "I have never seen anyone as resistant as you. Others usually nearly faint the moment I touch them. I only wish I had more time."

"Nii-san?" another voice suddenly sounded from the door.

Sitting up with some effort, the blond leaned up on his arms and spotted Sasuke staring at him with shock. At least Naruto suspected it was shock he saw hidden in those seemingly indifferent eyes. To others the raven-haired teen would have looked emotionless, but after so many years, the blond could to some extent see right through the other's exterior.

A silent moment passed in which Sasuke seemed to bore holes into Naruto with his eyes, but eventually he sighed and averted his attention to his brother. "Did you molest him like you molest all the people I bring?"

Itachi released a deep chuckle, smirking even wider now. "I do not know what you are talking about, little brother." Hands casually resting in his pockets, the man strolled out of the room with Sasuke's burning eyes following his every step.

As he clenched his jaw, Sasuke turned back to Naruto who had by now composed himself and was finally sitting properly. Stepping a bit closer, the raven-haired teen seemed highly uncomfortable and sat down on the couch table in front of the blond. "How far did he go?"

"W-What?" the other screeched, flushing red immediately.

Sasuke massaged the spot between his eyes as he once again sighed, his posture unusually slack. As he looked at the other again, his eyes flicked up and down a few times. "You don't look as if you had his dick up your ass," he dead-panned.

"Sasuke!" Things crashed down around the blond when the other suddenly smirked and actually laughed. Laughed! At him!

"I shouldn't have brought you here in the first place," Sasuke continued, swiping a hand over his face. The next part was unintelligible, making Naruto curious.

"What was that?" the blond urged with a small grin of his own, the shock of technically having been raped by his best friend's brother not having caught up with him yet.

"Sorry." When nothing happened, no mocking, no yelling, no reaction at all, Sasuke glanced up at the other to find an expression of utter shock along with something seizure-like. "Be quiet, you dunce." When the other laughed at him anyway, Sasuke chucked the closest thing he could get at the other, which in this case was a remote control. He nearly laughed again when the blond didn't dodge a bit and received the hit with his forehead.

Over Naruto's enraged yells Sasuke almost didn't notice Itachi coming back.

"Is your friend staying over night?" he questioned casually. "It's been a while since you brought anyone over after all."

Sasuke chucked the closest thing he could get at the other, which in this case was a lamp. "I wonder why that is."


It's short, I know, but I really couldn't think of any complicated and intricate plot line. I didn't want this to become PWP, so I added at least a bit of plot. I hope no one's gonna kill me for taking so long…

–Murasaki