A/N: I'd just like to take a sec and thank all of you guys that have reviewed this story; I hope I'm doing a good job. Also I'd like to thank those of you that have given me a few pointers. Also I'm looking for a BETA if anybody would like to throw their name in the hat please PM me, now on with chapter thirteen!

As the morning sun crept its way through the window, Kaitlyn woke with a start and rushed down the hall to Spike's room. There she found Willow napping in the chair with a book opened on her lap, Kaitlyn took the book gently away and placed it on the bedside table as Willow groggily opened her eyes.

"What time is it?" asked Willow

"a little after six"

"did you manage to get some sleep?" Willow asked hopefully

"Yeah a little... Is Buffy back yet?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't hear her... I'll go check" said Willow slowly getting up and stretching, making her way to the door.

Kaitlyn sat once again at Spike's bedside; she took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently "Spike... Can you hear me? Probably not huh? I've got so much to say to you but its gunna have to wait isn't it? I just wish we never came here" cried Kaitlyn

Willow rushed back into the room "we've got news" she smiled

Kaitlyn brushed away her years and followed Willow downstairs into the dining room, where the usual suspects had gathered to hear the latest.

"good news Kaitlyn, Faith and I managed to kill the demon so hey presto one demon heart, we've also got his sword which I'm told needs to be used in the ritual all we need now is the talisman which the coven are teleporting somebody here with and she'll perform the ritual too. We did it, he's gunna be okay" smiled Buffy

"that's great" said Kaitlyn flatly

"well you could be a little more enthusiastic?" said Faith

"what? Oh I'm happy please don't misunderstand me, it's just I have something's I need to think about" said Kaitlyn silently excusing herself from the room

"what the hell was that?" asked Xander

Buffy shrugged "I don't know"

"I think she's just a little overtired and overwhelmed by the whole thing" said Willow

"yeah maybe" said Buffy

"I'll go talk to her" Willow said rising from the table

"since when did you and Kaitlyn get all bondagey?" asked Xander, when he realised how wrong that sounded out loud he quickly said "you know bonding not kinky adult fun"

"we've talked some... I'll see if she's okay" said Willow walking out of the room

with that the group dispersed each going their separate ways until the only people remaining in the room were Angel and Buffy. The pair stood there for a moment before Angel spoke "how are you doing?"

"I'm okay, a little tired but okay" she said quietly

"I'm sorry about before. I really shouldn't of-"

"you know what Angel I can't do this right now" Buffy cut in

"I know but I need you to know that I understand"

"you understand? Understand what?" she asked him

"you and Spike... He really does care about you, I didn't believe it at first but we've been over some stuff and he does love you. And you love him right?" he asked

"you're just figuring this out now?" she asked quietly noticing the pain in Angel's eyes 'yep he was gunna be brooding for a long time over this little conversation' she thought to herself "I'm sorry Angel, I will always love you. You were my first love and that will never change, but I'm not that sixteen year old girl anymore. I don't even remember what she was like"

"I know. We're not the same people we were, remember the cookie dough analogy?" he asked softly

Buffy's mind was transported back in time to the Restfield graveyard in Sunnydale; she smiled fondly at the memory "I do..."

"I kinda knew that I'd never be the one to enjoy the cookies" he said sadly "I saw the way your face lit up when I mentioned Spike being your boyfriend, you loved him then didn't you?"

Buffy paused for a moment taking a deep breath "I did"

"I respect that"

"thank you, look I'm gunna go to bed I'm beat and the Wicca from the Coven won't be here for another couple of hours, time for a Buffy nap" she said hugging him gently "thank you Angel" she smiled brightly at her former love and slipped out of the room

"sweet dreams" he smiled watching her leave


Buffy closed her bedroom door and took off her jacket and lay it across a chair, she sat on the edge of her bed taking off her black leather boots before shuffling up the bed and curling up in a ball 'sleep is so needed right now' she thought to herself. She lay there for a few seconds before sleep took over her body.