- Stars and Airplanes –

"She's so young, a Top Coordinator once again? Isn't that the third time?" a voice penetrated to her, while her eyes perked away from them for a few moments, hoping to not be recognised.

"That was a jolly good show! I've never seen something like that!"

"Did you see how her Typhlosion's eyes were shining? As well as hers? Core blimey! That's what a coordinator should be like! That how you put on a show!" someone praised, though she couldn't tell exactly who it was. Maybe the blonde haired man who was standing in the stalls?

"Has any one seen her around? Wait a second! Is that her by the buffet?" Damn it, they'd caught her.

"Miss Berlitz? No wait! Come back, Miss!" She started slowly turning her way to the side, where her eyes glared at the exit of the building. The building started to pick up its chatter, the whole of the hall echoing with the sounds of people's voices, most of them that sounded like they were addressing her. It was getting too loud. Her head was spinning and she almost felt the need to scream because of how hard her head was pounding, as well as her heart. She had to get away, so with every bit of energy in her, she leapt for the open exit, "MISS! Where are you going! Miss Berlitz!"

"Miss! We love you!" they screamed, her fan girls who had followed her every step of the way to her rise. They scurried along in their short skirts to follow their idol once again. The noise of the hall started to pick up even more, even though she was sure that wasn't possible, but it just made her run faster, with her pumps gliding across the marble floor once in while.

She was almost there. So close, she almost felt the need to shout with victory, but that wasn't until just before the exit she turned her head to the side with her bangs of hair running across her face, spotting the boy with the raven hair and his gorgeous, brown eyes staring at her with his eyes in wonder, but his jaw slightly open; and for the first time that day, she finally acknowledged the words that escaped his lips.

"Hikari? Is that…you?"

Hikari's eyes gazed through the night sky towards the beaming lights beyond the cities skyline. Music lingered in the air, a gentle harmony spreading throughout the area of Lake Valor. Despite sitting on the ledge that had formed across the Lake Valor opposite the arena, about a mile away she could still hear the music, the chatter and the cling of glasses together. Hikari shifted a little further away from the edge, though her legs still dangled off them like the legs of a pretty little doll, hanging as the wind made them sway. She never realised just how soothing it was, being away from the noise and the celebrations which were all being held for her. But no one would miss her. At least that's what she thought. No, this was an excuse for all the coordinators that competed to have the chance to mingle and the reporters were given the chance to dash around the arena, to try and find the new Top Coordinator of Sinnoh and make her talk until her voice gave way or purposely tried to make her crack under the pressure. However, all Hikari wanted to do was relax and in all honesty, all she wanted to do was smile. Though even that genuine, serene smile she had was such an effort to show these days; but for the longest time, she felt at peace with herself.

She heard the shuffling of bushes and swiftly turned her head back only to find nothing was there, only the snores of her Pokémon, who in all honesty deserved the rest and quiet as much as she did. The softest of smiles graced her lips but disappeared a few seconds later. Her Mamoswine was the pillow of all her Pokémon, her loyal Piplup resting on top of the ice and ground type Pokémon while her Lopunny's head lay against his fur and Typhlosion had curled himself in a circle shape while resting against Mamoswine, the same with Pachirisu. The only Pokémon tonight that could stand against the tiredness with the hectic Togekiss, who perched itself beside the blunette, with her hand stroking the pokemon slightly.

Even though the sight amused her, she still couldn't help feel bored. Very bored. So she continued to watch the lights of the arena, hoping that the fireworks would start soon, just to give her a bit more entertainment. Seconds later, her thoughts dashed once again to the chocolate eyes had stared at her as she made her escape and once again, she felt herself in awe at them. She had seen those eyes before, so long ago, and the thought of him being here made her blush, with the pink colour staining her cheeks as she looked towards the arena, knowing that her prince, the one that she always wrote about in her journey at the innocent age of ten, had finally come to see her again. She tried to remember what he was wearing, maybe a white shirt? With his top button undone and his trousers jet black, blacker than his hair maybe. She didn't see the bubbly Pikachu she knew so well on his shoulder if she remembered correctly, but that didn't stop her from relishing the memories that they had together. Hikari giggled slightly to herself before a certain blush painted itself across her cheeks once again at the boy who'd always had lingered around in her mind ever since he had left. That was one thing that she could never regret though, it only made her stronger, despite loving him for so long and getting nothing in return. It still to this day made her strive towards brilliance. Satoshi…his eyes shimmered…his smile was beautiful and despite everything, he always smiled. It was no longer a crush, "I think I love you Satoshi…"

Another shuffle had spun her out of her thoughts and a frown had spread across her face. She darted up on the spot, with her Togekiss's thoughts stirring at the sudden change of expression on her trainers face. Hikari spun herself around and was now faced with a man head taller than she was. At first she thought it might have been one of her fans that had come up to harass her once again, and she wasn't in the mood to be in that position. She was about to say a spiteful remark, about people not giving her enough space and making her life a hell, which wasn't exactly true, but she stopped in her tracks as her mouth hung open slightly to find a brown haired boy, staring at her with his black eyes shaded with wonder and puzzlement.

"What's up Pikari?" his expression suddenly changed, with a smile showing from ear to ear and his eyes dancing with mischief.

She frowned at the young boy that had had an interest in her career ever since she first laid eyes on her first ribbon back when she was travelling with others. In all honest, she was starting to dislike the boy, but out of politeness (despite the small frown) she muttered, "Hello,"

She took the time to look at his outfit, a black shirt that had a few top buttons undone and black trousers. His brown locks still hadn't changed, and in all honesty, his attitude hadn't either, but he did wear a pleasant smile, which had a slight comforting feel to it, but she would never show him or tell him that.

"Shouldn't a three time winning Top Coordinator revel in her praise back at the arena?" he commented with a very slight bitter tone though the confusion in his voice over took that somehow, but that didn't mean that bitterness wasn't there.

"Doesn't anyone think she needs a break?"

He stayed silent, and bit his bottom lip for a few seconds before letting it go and walking towards her. Once closer, she could tell he had aged a little, his hair had gotten longer and she could smell the essence of cologne. She still couldn't help but frown though. Her peace had been interrupted, a peace she hadn't achieved in so long, and only Kengo could be oblivious to it. However, she could see now that his eyes were full of power and Hikari almost wanted to punch him in the face for the bit of mischief that hung around in his eyes.

"I'm not having a battle with you Kengo," Hikari stated before brushing past him to her sleeping Pokémon who were off with the fairies. Somewhere she wishes she could be.

"I never said I wanted one."

"But you were thinking it,"

She could see his face in my head, frowning at me, his eyes full of fire. However that wasn't what Hikari saw when she turned around, he still had the fire lit, yes, but he was smirking! Smirking! Like he had triumphed in something. If she'd have known better, she would have known that the fire in a boys eyes when they grew up meant something so much more.

"You know me well, Pikari!" he yelled gleefully.

Her eyebrow arched upwards with confusion, not once commenting the nickname she always couldn't stand, but had grown so used to, "What are you here for then?"

He didn't answer her, but offered a pleasant, peaceful smile, a smile that Hikari envied. However, she had nothing else to say, and so turned back to the lights in the sky that resembled stars, but she knew that they were anything but star - but tonight she'd pretend that they were – those airplanes and stars. Just for tonight, with her thoughts lingering on a certain raven-haired boy who she desperately hoped was waiting for her.

Satoshi watched as she walked into the arena, her heart shaped face framed by her fringe, something that was new to him. They almost covered her eyes, but despite every other brilliant colour that was in the room, he could only stare at the cerulean, shimmering eyes with her hair cascading down her back with a few strands framing the sides of her face. She had grown taller, not at tall as Satoshi, bit neither the less, she was taller. Her hair had grown a few inches too, but it still looked as though she had perfected it up to the tips. He chuckled at that thought, with fond memories floating around his head. Her dress was white, simple but elegant. The straps went around her neck and there was embroidery with a few jewels across the top of the dress, that was it otherwise, but Satoshi wouldn't want it any other way. She had pearl earrings on, small but noticeable, with a simple bracelet, the one she wore back when they were travelling together, resting against her wrist.

His first instinct was to run at her and embrace her, to tell her how much he missed her and how proud he was of her. However, he had to remember, she was a Champion now, someone who should always be composed and loyal; but the drumming of his heart was pounding so much. It was hard to bare. Satoshi almost felt the need to rip and out just to ease the pain of not being able to run to her. The achievements she has accomplished was unbelievable. A three time Grand Festival Champion. Something she had worked for in so long and the thought that she had done it was enough to make Satoshi grin from ear to ear.

However, that smile faded as he saw a hand grip only her bare shoulder, and both pairs of eyes looked to find familiar faces. At that moment, Satoshi's heart stopped and he couldn't hold in the gasp. The man with brown hair smiled down at her, but she didn't smile back. Satoshi felt the need to rip the hand off Hikari's shoulder, but the thoughts ran through his head again: composed, steady, calm and loyal. He saw that she didn't feel at ease, she always bit onto her bottom lip when she felt that way. He knew that. Both men knew that. Yet the boy, Kengo, would still not let go. Satoshi looked at her expression once again only to find her looking around the room, eyeing at everyone and once in a while she stood on her tip toes and shook her head slightly. She was looking for someone and Satoshi desperately wanted that someone to be him.

Satoshi shook off all the negative thoughts off and unconsciously, his legs started to move towards the blunette. The sounds of music gently lingered in the air, the violins soothing the atmosphere and the soft strumming of guitars were rhythmic and soft. It made every moment pass slower. His mind had gone blank and everything else seemed to react on it's own as he dodged one person and another a few seconds later, with only his eyes focusing on his destination. He was metres away before he stopped, suddenly grasping the situation and realising that maybe he should back away. He had the thoughts of a naïve child, as if racing towards your crush and bursting out how much he loved her was going to make anything better. He shook his head. He wasn't a kid anymore. Satoshi was a champion, brave and fearless. Yet, why was he afraid? His chocolate eyes scanned her once again as his hands fidgeted. She looked so beautiful.

"Satoshi?" his eyes darted towards the person who had called for him, but he didn't have to look far.

"Hikari." Satoshi whispered as he looked into a familiar sea of blue eyes.

She fidgeted slightly on the spot and Kengo for both of them was long forgotten, a small, faint smile graced her lips and he knew instantly that something had changed. Her smile usually emitted glee, excitement or liveliness. It was a smile that used to show hope and faith in the world, a beautiful hope he always thought was attractive and beautiful. But this wasn't a smile he was used to from her. At that moment, he realised that she had changed. She wasn't glowing, something that she was good at. Her face was pale and she seemed very worn out. The sparkle in her eye wasn't there, at least, the sparkle he saw wasn't there. Though she had slightly faded, it didn't stop him from smiling back at her and his heart started to drum faster again.

"Hello, Satoshi," she said, and her smile had gotten slightly bigger. She looked as though she were holding something back, and she was. Hikari's excitement at seeing Saotshi's eyes and smile again was enough to set her eyes alight again and she couldn't be more thankful for that.

"Hello, Hikari!" he gleefully said, and showed a toothy smile before gaining the surprise of his life.

Hikari had wrapped her arms around him, her hands resting softy on his back with her head resting on his shoulders. The blush…watch the blush. Both Satoshi and Hikari had told themselves, but the slight shade of red still hadn't stopped itself from fluttering on their cheeks. Satoshi's drumming heart was out of control and for a few seconds, he thought he could hear hers too. Slowly, he hugged her back too, and he couldn't hear anything at all, only the silent whispers coming from her saying, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Satoshi whispered back, and for the first time in a while, closed his eyes and captured the moment. It was too precious to let go of, Hikari was too precious to let go of; and she felt the same way about Satoshi.

The sweet melody of the songs played by the violins were starting to be the only thing the two could hear, and unconsciously, both of them were swaying to the love ballad. Satoshi was enjoying this moment, so much he had forgotten about Kengo completely, but Hikari hadn't forgotten about him and she was the first to pull away from the hug because she could feel the brown haired boy's eyes penetrating through her, and it was uncomfortable. Satoshi was upset by the sudden move but showed no way in indicating his disappointment, though that feeling was overcome by his dislike for Kengo as he once again, put his hand on her shoulder and drew closer towards them. He could see Kengo's eyes flashing with envy, but he didn't comment.

"Hello Satoshi." He said with a slightly bitter tone in his voice.

Satoshi only nodded in acknowledgement, "Hello, Kengo."

Hikari looked from one man to the other and instantly saw the rivalry the two had, and for a few seconds she pondered on whether they had always had this rivalry when they were travelling. She shook the thoughts from her head instantly when she felt Kengo grip onto her shoulder slightly, out of comfort or out of annoyance at Satoshi's presence she didn't know.

"Kengo," Hikari finally spoke with both the boys' heads turning to her, "can I just talk to Satoshi alone…for a few minutes?"

Satoshi swore he heard Kengo growl. He swore he did, but once again, he didn't comment and watched Kengo glance at him, fury in his eyes but then smiled at Hikari pleasantly and let go of her shoulder. He nodded towards her before walking away to the buffet quite close by.

"Why are you frowning?"

This shocked Satoshi slightly, he hadn't even realised that he was frowning enough for people to notice. He didn't reply though and continued to stare at Kengo as he started chatting to a few fellow coordinators while glancing back once in a while. Satoshi suddenly felt fingers lingering across his skin and two hands cupped his cheeks and pulled his gaze down from the brown haired boy to a blunette who didn't look impressed, but that didn't unease him. What un-eased Satoshi was the feeling of contact from her and his eyes glanced at her cerulean eyes.

"You're supposed to be having fun, it's a party." She stated before letting go of his cheeks.

He automatically pulled a hand to touch the place where Hikari had laid her fingers before replying, "I am having fun," he chuckled softly, "seeing your face after all these years is fantastic."

A blush ran across both their cheeks but both were oblivious to the other, "Like wise," she replied before looking around again. Hikari was anxious. Very anxious. She didn't notice how the raven-haired boy looked at her, as if she were incongruous to everything in the room, and she was, but in a good way. His eyes shimmered at the thought of holding her again like they did minutes ago and he craved for more moments like that. Sometimes, he wondered if she felt the same way. Once again, the thoughts dashed away and he found himself glancing at Kengo, as Hikari had darted her eyes towards the brown haired boy who grinned back at her but smirked at Satoshi when she wasn't looking.

"Do you want to dance?" Satoshi asked suddenly.

Hikari stared at the boy for a few seconds, almost in awe as he reached out to her, gesturing for her to take his hand. She hesitated for a few seconds and Satoshi saw it and inside, he felt slightly cold at this hesitation. The craving of her touch again was simmering throughout his body and he bit his lip. Hikari stared at his hand for what felt like hours to them, and Hikari started to over think.

What if she said yes and she embarrassed herself? What would happen if she looked like a complete twit, saying yes even though she had no clue how to dance? What happened if it didn't feel the way it was supposed to. What if she made herself look like a fool in front of all these people…especially Satoshi? What if she said no and broke his heart? What if she regrets…what if he didn't feel the same way? What if…what if…

Realisation suddenly struck her as she glanced again at the eyes of the person she adored the most. This was him. This was Satoshi. She had no reason to have to feel regret or sorrow, or to be sad or to fear him. This was Satoshi. Someone who had always caught her when she fell. This was Satoshi. Appreciating this fact made her smile, not just a smile that had to be put on for show, but a genuine smile which Satoshi noticed and grinned at too. The ballad was starting again and instantly, Hikari took his hands and he led her to the middle of the room.

Satoshi's head was spinning once again, who almost felt as though tears were forming, but he kept composed and swayed to the music just as Hikari did. He watched as she blushed fiercely, with her eyes fixed on her feet. Though he had no clue why she was so worried about it. She was doing fine. As a Champion, he was taught how to dance and how to approach people. He really had changed from a boy into a man in the past seven years; and she had definitely changed into a woman as his hands rested on her curved hips.

"You don't need to be worried," she darted her gaze up to him and once again, a blush crossed his cheeks, "no need to worry."

"…No need to worry." She whispered back before smiling again.

He showed her a toothy grin, which Hikari appreciated before they started swaying once again to the music again. The ballad was gorgeous, it was peaceful and it was everything Hikari needed…well not everything.

Satoshi gazed at the girl who looked back at him with an almighty confidence and comfort at the same time. He realised how he was finally doing what he said he would do. He was in the process of showing her just how he feels for her in the most fragile ways. He was usually one to rush into things but … she was so delicate. Delicately beautiful in some ways but strong in others. With these thoughts lingering, he was realising how this wasn't a crush. This was never a crush. When he looked into her eyes, and as she bore into his, they both realised, they had already fallen in love. Though they were oblivious to the others feelings, which made it so much harder, they didn't even noticed how close their faces were to each other, with his hands on her hips and her arms around his neck and their lips millimetres apart.

"I'm sorry," a foreign voice stated and the moment was shattered. It was so shattered that Hikari almost felt the need to cry but she kept it in and continued to show the softest of smiles to her childhood friend, while Satoshi glared at the boy with the utmost rage. Screw you, Kengo, screw you.

Kengo had the most annoying grin Satoshi had seen in his life and the sight of him made Satoshi angry. How dare he, Satoshi thought but Hikari in Satoshi's mind didn't seem to mind that their dance was over for the night; but Satoshi was so wrong.

"Could I cut in for a dance?"

"…'Course." Satoshi's voice was flat, even cold for the blunette. He suddenly let go of Hikari and turned on his heel, disappearing into the crowd and walking to the balcony side. Hikari swore that she could hear him mutter curses, but that didn't stop her at staring in disbelief at her childhood friend who had chuckled.

Who was he to come and break this moment? Who was he to stop this perfect moment, this perfect moment of peace and warmth she had wanted in so long? However, she couldn't shout, she couldn't scream at him for the reasons that despite everything he was still a friend and that she would embarrass Satoshi if she laid on finger on the boy. Satoshi…

Kengo, the towering figure, reached out and grasped Hikari's shoulder and waist, before deciding to change into the stance of an elegant waltzer. Hikari bit back the need to shout until he was deaf at him for the interruption, but let is slide as they finally began to move to the rhythm of the ballad that really didn't fit them at all.

"I hope you didn't mind me scrapping in, thought you'd like me to show you how to really dance," Kengo cockily, as they spun and spiraled as the rhythm of the song started changing. Hikari focused her eyes on the dance floor, wanting to stare anywhere but in his eyes, otherwise she would have had to feel the need to slip out a sarcastic or snide comment.

Kengo could see this and ignored the need to snap her head back up, because looking at her hair wasn't exactly what he wanted to be doing; but he wasn't going to force her into anything. The truth is, he's loved her for the longest time and he felt the need to tell her soon. I guess Satoshi felt the same way from the way he looked into Hikari's eyes. Kengo acknowledge the fact that he was annoying at times, a jerk maybe, but he appreciated that Hikari never stopped to tell him that. Maybe it was just Hikari's nature to have people fall head over heels for her. Kengo might be a jerk sometimes, especially to her, but it didn't mean he didn't care for her happiness. He needed for her to know that.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, but was incredibly surprised by the way Hikari darted her head up to look at him, her eyes in complete bewilderment.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," he blushed furiously before dipping Hikari suddenly and bringing her back up only for the same expression to grace her heart shaped face. He didn't realise just how her newly cut fringe framed her eyes ever so well, but he continued to look away from her to the dancing couples on the other side of the room.

"No, please, say it again," she cried, desperately, which broke his heart a little for some reason, feeling as though she didn't believe that he said it properly the first time, or because she wanted him to say it again because he never spoke of the word. However, because it was her, he repeated it.

"I'm sorry," he said, clearing his throat before continuing, "I'm sorry I've been such a jerk, not just to you but Satoshi too. I just don't like the way he looks at you,"

"What do you m-" she was about to ask but he shut his eyes tighty and interrupting her,

"I know you see the way he looks at you," he said and watched as she pondered slightly on the thoughts before he saw how confused she was, "surely you have, Hikari," He realised then that they she was speaking the truth and he wondered how she could ever call him oblivious considering the way Satoshi looked at her. However, once he thought about it…he'd have the genuine, happy, beautiful smile she had graced when she was dancing with him than the fake one that was often plastered on her lips recently. He sighed, "and to be honest, I'm okay with it," he beamed at her, "because…I really like you Hikari."

Hikari could only stare at him, stare at how honest he had become and for the first time she saw a man in him, one that was finally growing up and she was proud of him, "I like you too, Kengo, but as a friend."

"I know." He commented before tilting his head to the side to get a better look at the raven-haired boy who was glancing at the couple. Kengo had the intense need to smirk at the man, but he didn't. He wanted to crush him, make him feel what Kengo had been feeling all those years ago. Heart break. However, he didn't, he turned back to the smiling Hikari and finally said what he never thought he would say, "I like seeing you happy, Pikari," he chuckled, "and if seeing you happy means having to watch you fall in love with Satoshi…then I'm okay with it."

Hikari, out of the sheer happiness she had just felt, she embraced the young man suddenly and he embraced her in return while listening to her words of gratitude before planting a kiss on her forehead, "You go for it."

In the shadows, Satoshi looked away from the dancing couple, whose eyes were fixated on each other, something he couldn't bare to see; but it was all a misunderstanding, and it may never be corrected. His heart was breaking at them and when Kengo planted his lips onto her forehead, Satoshi squeezed his eyes shut and a tear ran down his cheek. Screw you, Kengo…As he turned, he glanced once more at the beautiful blunette, whose eyes were full of life and her smile was gleaming once more. It was a pleasure to know she was smiling again and he felt blessed to be seeing it, since no one else had seen such beautiful smiles grace her face, but it just hurt knowing he wasn't the reason why she was beaming tonight. He'd loved her for so long…he was hoping that the moment she was sharing with Kengo wasn't real. But it was real…but not the way he suspected it. Despite everything though, those eyes that he peered into and the moments with her he would always cherish, despite everything. I guess a Champions heart can break…but not yet…not now, he thought to himself. He turned his head once again and walked further into the balcony and looked towards the night sky that was painted with shining stars.

…Who was he kidding? They weren't stars. They were airplanes and helicopters or something at the most. There were no stars tonight, after all. Only one, star that just happened to be dancing along the ballroom just as the lights did across the night skies. However just for tonight, the raven-haired bow crossed his fingers and thought that just for tonight, he would pretend they were.

He whispered a wish on a fake star that night, "I wish for the strength to tell her … that I love her."

With that, he left the balcony and towards the exit, promising still, that one day, maybe, he could smile and tell her that he loved her, without chasing stars and wishes.

It is funny really, how earlier on, Hikari also wished for that same kind of strength.

"I wish…I wish for the strength to tell him…that I love him."


I thought it was best if I'd start uploading again since I did say this was the day I'd start uploading one shots and stories again, and this is just a story to show how sorry I am about not being around for these past years, and though I could blame GCSEs for it, I won't because it is entirely my fault. This definitely isn't one of the best one shots I have written but I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it! I'm not sure if I'll do another chapter to this, but I doubt I will since I like it the way it is. I can't always write happy ending stories...not that I always do! I have many unfinished one shots with many types of shippings too, but now the holidays are here, I can try to finish them...though my school has decided to give me tasks to do before I return to school, which really sucks but it is for A levels after all.

I didn't want to make Kengo look like a fool in this story, I don't like him but I see a lot of hate for him going around...but it's not our fault his face is so punchable. I was joking. I thought that if Kengo was a close friend of Hikari, that he would let her go. Also, if you don't like me using the Japanese names, I am so sorry, I've just been referring to Dawn as Hikari a lot, so I decided just to go with it for this one shot. Ash is incredibly OOC, I know, but because he's grown up and has had more experiences in his life as a Champion, I thought it was only fair to make him smarten up.

AHH! Pokémon Black and White 2 is coming out on 12th October! 3 DAYS AFTER MY BIRTHDAY! -happy dances- I don't think anyone realises how happy I am :') Going to get both of them, one for my birthday and the other one because I can treat myself. Hahaha! –is shot- But yes. This is my first Pearlshipping one shot in a long time…and it's a record because I wrote this one in a day! As you can tell, the inspiration came from a song, called 'Airplanes' by B.O.B and Haley Williams, which reminds me:

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, song or the artists, this is purely written for fun.

I envy those who live in Japan and America for receiving the games earlier than me! But I've watched play throughs and the game looks amazing. I wish I hadn't watched them now though, so if you like surprises, don't watch them because you'd be in for a treat! I'm hoping I'll forget bits and bobs of it now. So, once again, I hope you have enjoyed the story, and edits will probably be along the way. I won't be surprised if there are mistakes considering I wrote this in 3 hours.

EDIT: You know what really sucks about this story? It's so friggin' long, so it takes FOREVER to find mistakes! (Thank god for the 'find word' app on Microsoft)! In addition, I'm sorry if you find loads of first person references in there, as you can tell, I'm really rusty from writing in third person, but that's the reason why I wrote this to be honest! Thanks Jay Sage for pointing that out to me!