Little Girl: By MewLuna

A/N: The episode 'Evicted' through Fionna's POV. My version of this gender-bent episode. I know I'm not the first to do this, but hopefully you like my version of it anyway. Read on.


I wanted to drive my sword through him. Just who does he think he is? Does he really think he can kick me and Cake out of our own home, just because he claims that it was 'his' house to begin with! Puh-lease! How dare that Marshall Lee! I don't care if he's a vampire, without his supernatural powers, immortality, and sharp fangs, he's got nothing.

Angrily I kicked a rock, sending it off in the forest. The sound of it smacking against a tree trunk pleased me. I wished that tree was his head. Cake looked up at me with her big blue eyes and I huffed. "Come on Fionna, let it go," my older sister coaxed.

"He called me weak!" I yelled. I was too upset to be composed like a 'lady' as Cake puts it. Whatever her definition of a 'lady' is. "How dare that vampire belittle me! He called me a weak human, a little girl! I am no such thing!"

"Well, you are twelve," Cake pointed out, her fluffy tail twitching. "That's technically still a kid."

The only reason Cake was getting 'technical' on me was because she didn't want to deal with Marshall Lee. 'He's too powerful' she says, 'just let it go' she says. Let it go? No! It's not my fault Cake has some kind of exasperation on dealing with vampires.

"I'm not weak," I said again, pulling on my backpack straps. The clothes on my back and the backpack slung around my shoulders were the only possessions I had with me. "And I'm not backing down. That vampire just has the advantage, that's all. But just you wait, the next time I see him, I'll show him what Fionna the Human is made of."

"Pasta? Cause that's all I can get you to eat," Cake laughed.

Okay, at that, I had to smile as well. "You make great pasta," I giggled. My smile then disappeared. "Whoa-ho, I know what you're doing here, Cake. You're trying to distract me so I'll forget this 'vampire' thing. But it's not gonna work."

She sighed in exasperation, something that happens quite a bit. "One day, Fionna," she muttered.

"I can't believe this, Cake! We actually did it! We found ourselves another home, and it's so much cooler than that stupid tree house!" I grinned. I slid down the railing of our front porch to the sandy waters. "I never thought I'd live in a cave, but glob, this is so cool."

She nodded in agreement. "Start that radio up Fionna, it's time to get this house party started!" with that, Cake turned to all of our party guests. "Can I get a whoop-whoop?"

"Whoop-whoop!" everyone cheered.

"Whoop-de-whoop-doop!" Mrs. Cinnamon Bun added.

That was enough for me to crank the radio. Happy upbeat tunes started playing and everyone started to get their groove on. Prince Gumball couldn't make it, he had some science stuff to do, plus he wasn't much of a cave fan. Oh well, I always visit him anyway. Treetrunks was here, along with Ms. Cupcake, Lumpy Space Prince, Lord Monochromicorn (who was dancing with Cake, I will add), and a whole bunch of other Aaa friends.

Honestly, I forgot all about my personal vendetta with that stupid vampire. Who claims he's a 'king'. Yeah. King of losers! Haha!

I let the worries I had go away as I swayed to the beat of the music. My eyes closed and I couldn't help but smile in accomplishment. "I'm feeling good, Cake," I said. Although, there's a good chance she can't hear me over the music. "I feel, I feel like we did it. We did it, we did it together. You know?"

"Yeah girl," Cake answered, but I'm sure she was trying to focus on Lord M.

I smiled. "Yeah. We did it."

There's a sound of cave doors opening and I turn my head around. There's a figure coming out of the shadows, and I walk closer to see who it is. All of a sudden, the figure morphs and takes shape, and I gasp in surprise. "Marshall Lee?" I exclaimed.

He looked the same way he did when I first saw him. Raven black hair messily in his face, red and green plaid shirt, ripped blue jeans, red sneakers, that same stupid smirk on his stupid face. How dare he show up! "Oh, hey Fionna," Marshall smiled. Of course, his smile wasn't kind at all. "Heard you had a party, seems to be really hopping."

Marshall floated over to me, his eyes level with mine. Were his eyes blood red on purpose? Why were they so red and bright? "You need to leave," I said firmly through gritted teeth. "Now."

His mouth made a lazy grin. "Oh, does this little human think she can order the big bad vampire?" he asked, clicking his tongue. He talked to me like I was a three-year-old.

That was enough to blow my fuse. "Why are you even here?" I shouted.

"I'm glad you asked. I came to show you something..." he trailed off, floating over to a pile of rocks against the cave wall. "You see little human, this cave, it belong to ME!"

The rock shifted and there was a red 'ML' marked on it. I felt my stomach drop. "Wha? No! You can't take our home twice!" I screeched.

"Oh, but I can, little girl. And there's nothing you can do," he sneered. He slung his stupid guitar-base-thing-axe around his shoulders and started playing hard metal that clashed with our radio's pop. "So suck on that," he chuckled.

That did it.

I pulled out my retractable sword and pointed it at him. "You asked for it!"

"Fionna, no!" Cake then exclaimed. "We're not fighting the vampire!"

"Like glob we're not! You can stay out Cake, but I'm gonna show him some manners!" I retorted.

Cake then ran between my sword and Marshall Lee. "Remember what I told you. Home is in your heart. Me-mow-mee-mee-mow."

As if those words were magic, I calmed down. I lowered my blade. "Okay," I said softly. I took a deep breath and then looked at Marshall Lee again. "You're lucky, vampire. My home is with Cake," I said seriously.

"Really?" he asked. "Then I guess I'll take Cake too!"

Faster than I was prepared for, Marshall lunged out and grabbed my best friend! Cake hissed and scratched but he restrained her! "Let her go!" I yelled.

"She's mine now," he laughed. "I'll bite her a little. Maybe suck some blood. Turn her into a zombie!"

"All those things sound horrible," Cake cried.

On impulse, I turned my body and side-kicked that stupid vampire in the head, making him let go of Cake on my impact! "I said no!" I yelled.

He hissed and showed his sharp row of fangs. "Nobody... makes... me let go of CAKE!" he roared. Marshall then threw his head back and suddenly his body was morphing. He turned into a life-size bat!

"Drama bomb!" Lumpy Space Prince exclaimed.

I ignored him. Marshall lunged out and grabbed Cake again, this time Cake tried to claw and scratch his eyes out. He laughed at her futile attempts. "You're so pathetic."

"You're a jerk!" I yelled. I jumped up and tried to kick him, but he was expecting my attack and swatted at me. I landed on the hard cave floor, scraping my knee and landing awkwardly on my hip. My head snapped up and before I could get back to my feet, Marshall Lee bit into Cake, and her body went lifeless. "NO!" I cried. "CAKE!"

His fangs popped off Cake's neck and he threw her to the cave floor. She was gray and her eyes were lulled back. "Yummy little kitty," Marshall chuckled.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" I screamed. I kicked off a rock and propelled myself into the air, aiming in to hit him and beat the snot out of him! He caught me in the air and held me in his grasp with his two claws. Marshall looked at me with his bat eyes and laughed. I spit in his face defiantly. Then, before he could react, I reared my arm back, and punched his stupid grinning face!


"Ow Fionna. That actually hurt."


Before I could say much more, Marshall started to transform back into a vampire. As he did this, he was bringing me to the ground, and I thought he was going to crush me! My eyes flew shut and I braced myself for impact. This is it, he's going to pummel me into the sand!

And suddenly... there's a pair of cold lips on my chin, right next to my mouth. My eyes fly open and Marshall Lee leans back, making a pop sound. Did he... did he just kiss me? Whoa, did he just kiss me? I look at him and he smiles, and this time it doesn't look as evil. "Surprise," he tells me softly.

"Huh? You're not going to kill me?" I asked.

"Kill you? No silly Fionna, I'm not going to kill you. I haven't had that much fun in centuries." Marshall takes my head and helps me to my feet. For the first time he's standing next to me, both feet on the ground. He towers me by a good foot, making me feel childish.

"But... you killed Cake..." I stammered.

"I'm right here." I gasped and turned around. Cake was standing right there, normal as could be. "I sent all my life, energy, organs, blood, yeah straight to my thumb," Cake explained. "He just bit me, but he didn't get anything out of me."

Marshall gave me an innocent look, his same smile returning. "I like you," he then said. "You're pretty hardcore for a little girl."

Now my cheeks were flushing and I was probably beet red. "I'm not a little girl," I huffed. "And I'm not weak."

He then stuck his fork-like tongue out at me. "Well, looks like we'll have to spend more time together to prove that theory true."


I wanted to do my own version of gender-bent 'Evicted' episode. I know I didn't get the whole dialogue or cover all the scenes. But I wanted to Luna-ify it in my own way. It's been awhile since I've written FioLee. So please review and thank you for reading x)