98. Criminal

Say you're a bad guy- maybe a corrupt corporate executive, or a double agent, or a mobster, for all it matters. You've escaped the police, the CIA, even the current James Bond rip-off. Anyway, you're on your private island, relaxing on a beach and laughing about how you managed to outwit all of those detective types. Pretty nice, huh? I'll give you a minute. Imagine some fruit drink in your hands. There are palm trees everywhere. Blah blah whatever.

Now here's the fun part. Out of nowhere, a little girl shows up. She's blond, blue eyes, wears glasses. Also she's covered with hives, but nonetheless still cute. She pulls out a pair of handcuffs and before you can react, she's reading you your rights and you're under arrest. Ridiculous, right? That's what I thought. But when I pushed her aside, four other kids appeared.

Now I'm going, "what in the world-" but the other blond kid (the one with braces) suddenly has a needle out and he pricks me with it.

"You know, next time I hope the bad guy hires some bodyguards. Then I can at least body slam someone," the other girl says just as I blank out.

And now I'm here, awaiting trial. Unbelievable.

Go ahead and laugh. I'm telling you the truth, I swear.