Disclaimer-Glee is owned, not by me...but by...well...I'm just gonna stick with, not by me.
You are my Lighthouse
warning-Spoilers and background scenes from "Goodbye"-warning
A/N: YAY! New chapter, *does the new chapter dance in seat*.
Blaine said a silent prayer to himself as he pulled Kurt's door shut, spying Burt on his way downstairs.
"Burt," he called softly "Has Sam left for school yet?"
"Nah dude, I'm right here." Sam answered coming up behind Blaine from his bedroom. Blaine and Burt both turned to look at him as he pulled on his backpack.
"Oh thank god." Blaine sighed in relief. "Can I catch a ride with you to school? I left my car there yesterday afternoon." Blaine asked as Sam nodded.
"Yeah of course." But Burt supplied another alternative.
"Blaine, I can take you and run you by your house so you can change." He offered as the three men walked downstairs together.
"Oh thank you, Burt…but I'll just catch a ride with Sam. I have a change of clothes in my car and an exam first hour I can't be late for."
"Okay, are you sure? I really don't mind." Blaine smiled but nodded that he was sure as they reached the kitchen. Carole was filling and passing out to-go coffee cups and smiling warmly.
"Morning boys! There are granola bars on the counter. Sam, I'm sorry honey but Finn ate the last yogurt on his way out early this morning."
"Oh that's okay Carole, a granola bar is fine." Sam answered gratefully, grabbing two and handing one to Blaine.
"Finn left early this morning?" Burt asked his wife, disbelief evident in his tone.
"Yeah, I know. He was out late with Rachel last night too."
At the mention of her name, Blaine's stomach dropped and his appetite vanished. He kept chewing to be polite, but the granola felt like gravel in his mouth as Kurt's parents continued their conversation of Finn's apparent sneaky behavior.
"Come on Blaine, if we leave early you should have time to change and stuff before class."
Blaine nodded to Sam and thanked Carole for breakfast.
"Your welcome sweetie, anytime." Carole picked up her bag and she and Burt followed Sam and Blaine through the living room and toward the front door.
"I don't get a kiss goodbye?" Kurt called softly walking down the stairs causing everyone to turn from the door.
Without missing a beat,
"Oh of course, Kurty!" Sam called as he made to rush up the stairs. "Cm'ere muffin!"
He earned a collective laugh from Blaine and Carole, a grab of his backpack from Burt, and a judgmental eye-roll with a small smile from Kurt. Burt pushed Sam out the front door with Carole following closely behind as Blaine walked up to meet Kurt on the stairs.
"Hi." He said before meeting his lips softly with Kurt's. "I didn't want to wake you, I know you didn't get much sleep." Kurt nodded as he wrapped his arms around Blaine and buried his face into his neck.
"Are you gonna be okay today?" Blaine asked squeezing Kurt a little tighter. Kurt chuckled into his neck before pulling out of the hug and nodding.
"Yeah, I think I'll spend the day at the garage with dad…do some mindless work for a while. I don't want to sit at home all day."
Blaine nodded resting his hands on Kurt's waist.
"Okay, I'll call you when I leave the school?" Kurt nodded as Blaine leaned in for another kiss, wishing he could do more to get the sadness out of Kurt's eyes. "I love you." he whispered softly against Kurt's lips.
"I love you too, have a good day."
Blaine pressed one more kiss to Kurt's lips before walking down the stairs and out the door.
Sam was hanging up his phone when Blaine climbed into his truck.
"Last day of Junior year, Seniors Baby!" Sam cried as he reversed out the driveway. Blaine smiled politely but his mind was still inside as he watched Burt walk back through the front door.
Sam seemed to realize Blaine didn't really want to talk much, and definitely not about Kurt. The two friends made small talk about summer plans until they pulled into the parking lot.
Blaine had just enough time to grab a very fast shower in the locker room, gel his hair and race to his AP history exam. He slipped into his seat next to Artie just as the bell rang.
"I was getting worried." He whispered as the exams were being passed back. Blaine smiled and shrugged what he hoped was reassuringly. It seemed to work as Artie smiled and turned to his test. Blaine took a deep breath and forced his brain to remember what he had studied on the French Revolution.
His dad came through the front door a few moments after Blaine had walked out of it.
"Dad, if you give me like twenty minutes to shower and change, I'll come with you to the shop for the day." Kurt said his hand on the banister.
"Yeah bud, that would be great." Burt answered as Kurt nodded and walked back up the stairs.
Walking in his bedroom, he sighed in the general direction of his bed.
"What I wouldn't give to curl up and sleep for the next year." Kurt said softly to himself. Instead, he made the bed only allowing himself to stop for a moment to give Blaine's pillow a gentle smell, before placing it carefully next to his other pillows.
Twenty minutes later, he was sipping a cup of coffee in the passenger seat of his dad's truck.
"Dad, thank you for letting Blaine stay over last night." Kurt said fiddling with the lid of his cup. "I just, really needed him."
Burt took a deep breath before continuing.
"Kurt, you aren't a kid anymore. You're out of high school and eighteen, I know you and Blaine respect each other and our home…as long as it is okay with his parents, I don't have a problem with him staying over."
Kurt didn't say anything for a few moments, wiping a tear from his eye, he finally squeaked out a "Thanks Dad." They didn't talk much more the rest of the drive.
Kurt spent the morning in the office, entering deliveries and purchase orders into inventory and reorganizing files in the system. Burt ordered sandwiches and salads for lunch, but they spent their time eating not talking.
After lunch, Kurt pulled on his coveralls and gloves and helped his dad with a few alignments…it was the first thing Kurt ever learned to do (because he could keep his gloves on the whole time), so he was pretty good at them.
Kurt had just finished up around 2:30 when his dad came over to where he was entering the info on the computer.
"Hey Kurt, go get cleaned up and change, Carole just called and Finn wants to talk to all three of us at home."
Blaine stood beside Kurt's locker fighting tears. He gently pulled the photo collages and posters from the door, carefully placing them in an empty folder. Smiling slightly, he grabbed Kurt's emergency hair/face care bag and can of hairspray. He brought the nozzle to his nose to breath in the scent; it wasn't the same but still smelled good…comforting almost.
He had borrowed an empty box from Ms. Pillsbury to transport his and Kurt's things. He put Kurt's notebooks and binders in his bag, but the rest of his stuff was laid carefully in the box along with his own.
Just as Blaine was finishing up, he felt someone walk up behind him. He turned and gave Tina a small smile.
"Need a hand?"
Blaine was about to refuse, say he could get it…but along with the box, were both of their gym bags, and his backpack. He supposed he could use the help and nodded.
Tina took the gym bags and Blaine the box. They walked in silence for a few moments before Tina finally spoke up.
"I know it's probably a stupid question, but how is he?"
"It's not a stupid question, it's nice that your concerned…but honestly, I'm not sure, how he's doing that is." Blaine said sighing. "He barely slept last night…" he stopped, not wanting to share too much.
Like how Kurt had woken up in a cold sweat and calling for his mom, how it had taken Blaine almost an hour to calm him back down and even then he didn't fall back to sleep. How angry Kurt had gotten at himself for falling apart in front of Blaine…for falling apart in general. How he had locked himself in the bathroom for over an hour, but was obviously relived when he found Blaine still sitting on the floor when he finally came out. How he had dropped to the floor, his head in Blaine's lap, hand covering his eyes as he cried.
Blaine had just let his boyfriend cry in his lap, rubbing his back and murmuring what he hoped was comforting words. He didn't know what else to do, and all he wanted to do, was make Kurt feel better.
By the time the two friends reached the car, Blaine was almost in tears. He opened the hatchback and dispensed the box, taking the bags from Tina as well. He looked at his friend and sighed again, sitting on the edge of his trunk. Tina sat down next to him and put her arm on his shoulder.
"I just, I don't know what to do…what to say." Blaine confessed a tear leaking from his eye.
"I don't think there is anything you can say…or do. Just be there for him." She paused to pull a tissue from her bag and handed to him. "I've known Kurt for a long time, he internalizes everything. Keeps things to himself and doesn't let people in very easily. I think that's why it took us so long, last year, to realize something was going on with him…that's not an excuse, because we were there and we should have known…I should have known." She paused again, lost in thought for a moment before shaking her head and continuing.
"But this year, he…I don't know, he is just different. He smiles more, laughs more, I mean come on, he's best friends with Rachel Berry, that's like, mind-blowing for most people." Blaine chuckled slightly but didn't say anything.
"You know that has so much to do with you right?" Tina dropped her head to try to get Blaine to look her in the eye. "He found someone to be open with, to be honest to, someone who knows him, who he is, flaws and all. Someone he loves, who loves him back."
Blaine looked up, he eyes welling with tears.
"I feel so guilty." He finally squeezed out in a tiny voice.
"Blaine, you wishing he wasn't leaving, or being sad that he is, is NOT the same as wishing for him not to get accepted to NYADA. Don't put that on yourself, it's not fair and it's not true." She paused. "Be there for Kurt because you love him, not because you feel like you did something wrong…because you didn't."
"Tina, he has had such a horrible year. I feel like at every turn, the world is kicking him in the shins, the presidency, the musical, and now this. He deserved all those things, but he earned this." Blaine was really crying now. "I just, what if he...what if he can't get past this? What if this is what breaks him?"
"What if pigs suddenly sprout wings and start flying? What if we wake up tomorrow, and up is down and left is green? You can't play the 'what if' game, Blaine. You will be playing it all day long. This sucks, and Kurt is hurting, but he never ceases to amaze all of us…I'm not saying he will be fine, but he has you and his family, and his friends, he will get through this."
Blaine nodded, but didn't say anything. Blaine wiped his eyes as the two sat quietly for a few moments until Tina broke the silence.
"Mercedes blames Rachel, for him not getting in I mean. She blames Rachel."
"I think if I can't blame myself, we can't start blaming Rachel." Blaine said as his phone buzzed with a text message. "She wasn't on the admissions board any more than I was."
"I know, but sometimes we just want to blame someone. Otherwise we have to accept the fact, that the world just sucks sometimes." Tina noticed the concerned look on Blaine's face. "Kurt?" she asked and motioned to his phone.
"Yeah, I gotta go." They stood up and Blaine shut the trunk lid, clearly still distracted from the text message. "Thanks Tina, I'll text you okay?"
"Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?" she asked as Blaine climbed into the car.
"I don't know, I hope so." He said giving her what he hoped was a comforting smile, but really came across pained.
He pulled his door shut as Tina waved and walked away. Blaine reread the text from Kurt.
Are you still coming over here/are you almost on your way?
Blaine quickly typed back,
Yes to both, on my way now. Is everything okay?
He started his car and headed out of the parking lot, but waited until he was stopped at the light before reading the reply and texting back.
No. I need to get out of here, need to be with you. Need to not be here.
I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you.
Blaine was already parked in Kurt's driveway when his phone finally buzzed with Kurt's "I love you" back.
He had barley rapped his knuckles against the door when it swung open. Kurt stood there looking pissed.
"What's wrong?" Blaine asked breathlessly.
Kurt didn't say anything, just motioned for Blaine to come in.
Blaine furrowed his brow, but followed his boyfriend through the small foyer and into the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks.
You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, and a very dull knife at that. Finn was standing near the fireplace, his arms crossed across his chest in defiance. Carole was sitting in the chair, quietly crying, while Burt paced next to her.
Blaine, suddenly very uncomfortable, looked around as Kurt began talking.
"I'm leaving with Blaine." He told his dad. "Don't wait up okay?"
Burt gave his son a long look, before finally nodding.
"Kurt." Finn said quietly, but Kurt pointedly ignored his step-brother. He grabbed his bag and keys.
"Kurt!" Finn exclaimed a little louder trying to get his attention. Kurt motioned for Blaine to follow him, still ignoring Finn. Blaine looked back at Finn quizzically and tried to give him a comforting look, but Finn wasn't paying attention to Blaine.
"KURT! She is talking about deferring! Is that really what you want for her?" Finn was yelling now. Kurt whipped around, his face pale and his lip quivering…all indications that he was very close to breaking down.
"FINN STOP! You have to do what you feel like you have to do! But I am DONE talking about this now! DROP IT!"
Blaine was staring at both of them with his mouth hanging open. He had no idea what was going on, but the protective boyfriend in him, wanted to pounce on Finn, he just had to figure out why first.
Unfortunately, he didn't get the chance. Kurt wasn't kidding when he said he was done. He was out the door before Blaine had realized he'd left the room.
Blaine looked around, trying to figure out something to say…in the end giving up and shrugging. He hurried out the door and meet up with Kurt standing by his car. Blaine unlocked and opened his door for him then jogged around to climb in the car as well.
"Where to?" he asked and Kurt shrugged.
"Anywhere but here…your house?"
Blaine nodded as he started the car and reversed out of the driveway. Kurt only made it to the end of the street before the wracking sobs took over.
Blaine pulled over, turned off the car and pulled his boyfriend into his arms. He gently kissed Kurt's neck, wishing that he could kick the person responsible for Kurt, the man he loved more than anyone else in this world, never being able to catch a freaking break.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! more to come, soon!