Friday 7th September


Right, it's now or never. Time to puke some pastille.

10 seconds later.

OK, so I just licked it and it tastes like libs' bogeys or something horrible like that. I don't even think I need to eat it anymore I feel that sick.


'Go on Gee, just shove it in your gob!' Dave keeps displaying how to swallow food to me, shoving great big pieces of potato waffle down his throat and going 'see, easy!' and then choking.


OUTRAGE. ROSIE HAS PUT A PUKING PASTILLE IN MY BEANS AND I ATE IT BUT THEN I WAS SICK ALL OVER MY CHARMS HOMEWORK. Well... my 3 sentences of charms homework. Which I copied off one of the freaky girls in our dorm.

20 seconds later.

'Oh! Gee! DON'T WORRY EVERYONE I'LL TAKE HER TO THE 'HOSPITAL WING'!' and then Rosie winked at me, and Rosie cannot wink subtly. Dave gave me a massive thumbs up and said, 'Really spectacular vomiting there, it was almost projectile.'

In the Prefects' Bathroom.

A very pale young boy keeps staring at Rosie and I from one of the bathroom stalls. I might just have a nervy b. as we are in the nuddy-pants.

30 seconds later.

'!' the boy just flew over our heads and into the water, since when can boys fly? Especially ones with glasses and a resemblance to Pamela Green?
'Excuse me but we're trying to erm, have a swim here because Rosie has er... swim-itis and can't uhh, she can't walk? Yeah, so could you leave please because we're not into boys,'
'Really?' the boy smiled and came closer, 'That's convenient then,' and then he dived under the water and came very close to my nungas. MY NUNGAS! WHAT IS HE PLAYING AT? I went to hit him but my hand went straight through. What fresh hell?
'Don't touch my nungas you weirdo! I told you! We're not into boys!' 'What? But er, I'm a girl!' SHE started crying and flew off into the U-bend in the toilet.

2 hours later.

Well, it's very hard to have a relaxing bath when the ghosty manlady won't stop crying. It sounds like she's drowning a cat in there.


So, let's start getting ready. I've got my rollers in for maximum bounceability and to give me that sex kitty-ish charm.


YESSSSS. stages 1,2 and 3 of my skincare are finished. I've just finished my base layer of foundation. So that only leaves another layer and then some press powder.

2 seconds later.

And bronzer and blusher. And maybe some highlighter.

47 minutes later.

Is this too brown? Or does it make me look tanned and gorgey?

2 minutes later.

'Blimey, Gee, have you not taken your chocolate face mask off yet? It's been ages!'
'Of course I have, what are you on about?'

30 seconds later.

Maybe its just a little bit too brown then.


Ok, foundation etc FINISHED. Now, have the eyebrows got to orangutangy? No. All is good.

12 minutes later.

Smoky eyeshadow, meow.


Everything is on time... eyeliner is perfect and first layer of mascara is on.


And now the third layer is.

30 seconds later.

MERDE. Skewered my eyeball with my mascara, ouch ouch bloody ouch!

2 seconds later.

I'm in aggers OCNSrwr42CNASCXNC. Ok, calm down, don't mess up your makeup again. You don't want to look like a panda infront of the Hornmeister and SW, and any other blokey-type.

27 minutes later.

9 layers of mascara on and my eye feels better than ever. Ish... Anyway, should i go with the boy entrancers? I don't want another eye-sticking-together fandango. But they are good for entrancing boy types. Maybe there's a spell to help keep them on properly?


There's not. Has the wizarding world never heard of beauty? This is pants.

30 seconds later.

I officially attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Pants.

Sorry Readers, I'm going on holiday for 5 weeks and might not be updating, I'm not sure. Promise to do an extra long chapter when I get back though! Thanks for all the reviews aswell!