Forgiveness Is Bitter Sweet

He dabbed the wound more with the peroxide soaked cloth having her flinch every once in a while when he accidentally added too much pressure. It was silent ever since Quinton Travers left the library, leaving Buffy in Giles' care. He grabbed her hand looking at the small bruise carefully dabbing it with the cloth. She started to get impatient and he noticed as she shifted periodically in the chair. "I think your good, I'll just go get a band-aid for that." He pointed to the larger gash on her forehead and she nodded still being quiet from everything that had happened.

He came back and added the small bandages to her head only hearing small hissing sounds from the slight stinging. After he was done he excused himself with a nod of his head walking back towards his office turning to see her still sit there. "You're free to go Buffy." She looked up at him, and he smiled before disappearing.

He sat in his office his head drooping over the back of the chair, and took long exhaling breaths. One hand held his glasses as the other rubbed at his brow furiously as if he wanted to rub the guilt away. Suddenly he felt a familiar presence fill the room, he turned seeing Buffy standing there clearly holding two blue tickets that read 'Ice Dancers.'

Still in silence he stood putting on his glasses, walking over to her and took one of the tickets out of her hand and read it to himself, "someone once told me that Brian Boitano doing Carmen was a life changer."

He looked up from the ticket seeing her smile. "You think maybe you would still like for me to take you?"

"I would love to." Her smile got bigger and she walked out the door before he could change his mind, and he started after her, grabbing his jacket on the way.

The rink was unexpectedly a lot colder than what he had imagined, and he noticed Buffy shaking and removed his jacket from his shoulders bringing a colder chill and a smile on her face, as he placed it over her instead.

They found their seats and he sat about two inches away from her, he watched her smile as the skater exited the side area, and clapped with the other people around. The man bowed and took his stance as the lights dimmed giving him the spot light.

The music started and everything was quiet, all he heard was the skates of the man etch into the ice, the continuous scraping as he revolved on one skate to the other, some more applause as he jumped and leaped through the air landing perfectly.

He watched Buffy smile and grip her fist as the man went though the air then into a perfect landing looking relieved he didn't fall. She brushed her hair out of her face and looked at him smiling, and moved her hand to his placing it on top. Giles smiled at her turning his attention back to the skater, when he then felt her fingers intertwine with his.

He turned to his hand and looked as she held it tightly, and then noticed a teary expression on her face, keeping his voice to a low whisper when he spoke. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I got you fired."

"It was my fault Buffy, and that doesn't necessarily mean I'm going anywhere."

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry as well. I had no right to do what I did."

"But it was your job."

"Was. Meaning it was in the past."

"Think you could ever forgive me?"

"Think you can forgive me?"

"I can. I can always trust you."

"But how can you after what I did?"

"The way you look at me, the way Travers said you had a father's love for me, realizing now that it's true."

"You do realize it's more than a father's love Buffy."

"Are you saying you love me?"

"It's my duty to protect you, and you protect the ones you love, right? And no one is going to fire me from protecting you."

"And I'll always protect you." He smiled and turned his attention back to the ice, watching the more twists, turns, and jumps, and he felt Buffy lean against his shoulder, then let go of her hand throwing the arm around her to hold her more to himself. "Thank you for taking me here Giles."

"Your quite welcome." Her hand then moved to his arm that wrapped around her waist and intertwined their fingers once more. "Happy birthday Buffy." He felt the soft feeling of her tears as they hit his shirt, and she looked up at him. "You know I trust you, right?"

"Yes, I know."

"I am so sorry for ever thinking I shouldn't."

"You had a perfect reason Buffy. I'm sorry for making you think you couldn't."

"You were just doing your job."

"I should of known the pain it would cause you. It all fell apart so fast."

"I know."

"How is your mum doing? Has she said anything?"

"She's good, she's out of town at the moment, but she'll be back tomorrow."

"I am truly sorry."

"I know, and I forgive you."

"It means the world to me to hear you say that." Buffy's smile got bigger and her tears started to fall harder.

"Please don't cry Buffy." He moved his head closer to her and rubbed her tears out of her face slowly with his hands. Buffy leaned into him, letting herself to be comforted by her now ex-Watcher. Slow and steadily Giles moved his left hand down Buffy's cheek to her chin, and lifted it slowly. Their lips touched briefly as Giles set a small kiss upon her and backed away shaking his head. "I'm sorry, that was inappropriate."

She moved her hand from his, facing her body more towards him. She grabbed his head turning more towards her and kissed his lips gently. He looked at her as she backed off, and brought her face back to his kissing her harder, she responded and let her tongue enter his mouth. The kiss broke after a while and Buffy looked at him tracing his lips with her fingers. "That was more inappropriate."

"Yes- well. Maybe I should take you home."

"I don't want to go home."

"The show's almost over Buffy."

"I know. Can't I just sit here with you?" She reached up again grabbing the back of his head and he turned away from her. "That is a bad idea Buffy, and I wish you wouldn't."

"But I want to." She moved his face back towards herself kissing him, and again, he pushed her off himself. "We can't."

"But, I want to."

"It can't happen."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm your Watcher, and there are rules."

"You were fired, you're no longer my Watcher. No rules."

"I still work for the school Buffy."

"And today is my what birthday? Fully legal now." She grabbed his shirt and pulled herself so she was sitting on his lap. She leaned down to his face once more kissing his lips and he moved his head away. "No. Get off. It's not going to happen." He pushed her off with force and looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, but it can't happen."

"Then how else do I tell you that I trust you?"

"Is that what this is about, trust?"

"Most of it."

"You don't have to prove anything to me."

"But I want to."

"It isn't necessary."

"I want to, like I've never wanted anything, I want to feel your skin against mine."

She grabbed his hand and intertwined her fingers in his. "See? I feel something, that's drawing me towards you, and I know you feel it too." He closed his hand around her and drew back. "It doesn't matter what you or I feel. It can't happen." Their voices he notice started to draw attention, and he stood up dragging her along with him outside of the quiet area into the noisy lobby. "Giles please, I want this to happen, and I know you do too, I can feel it inside you."

"It can't happen Buffy, as much as either of us want it, it can't. It's not right."

"I don't care if it's right or not, I want to."

"It's not going to happen." He placed his hand on her shoulders, as he saw tears fill her eyes once again, "I'm sorry Buffy." She looked up at him, and placed her hands around him hugging him tightly, he responded to the hug, and before he knew it she drew him into another kiss.

She pulled him along with her hitting the wall behind her with her back, he then pushed himself off her. "No." She grabbed his shirt and ran her hand down the front. "Stop." She continued downwards and griped him threw the fabric. "Buf-fy."

"I want you." She undid the fabric and ran her hand down into his boxers grabbing him gently and ran her hand up him. "Buffy- no- stop- this isn't- stop." He gave into her hand pushing her more into the wall kissing as hard as he could and let his hands roam over her body.

He continued kissing her, as he let his hands wonder over her arse, and to the front of her pants, a soft pleading moan escaped her mouth bringing him back to reality, as he pushed himself back zipping up his pants. Giles placed his hand over his mouth as applause escaped the rink, he looked over his shoulder and spoke to her without moving his head, "I should take you home."

"I don't want to go home."

"I'm done discussing this Buffy. We're leaving."

He turned the rest of his body abruptly and went towards his car leaning his head against the door and waited for Buffy. He saw Buffy leave the building his coat now held in her arms as the sun hit her skin, the light was making the small smile on her face seem possibly larger than it was, he watched and stepped into the car still waiting.

She quietly got in the passenger seat and looked at him as he turned the key. "Giles." He looked over to her holding out his coat. "Your coat." He turned off the car and grabbed the coat from her hands throwing it in the back. "Buffy… I'm sorry."


"What I did."

"You didn't do anything I didn't want done." He smiled slightly, and she reached up touching her hand to his face. "Don't."

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want." She leaned her face in and kissed him gently. "See? I know what you want."

"This isn't going to happen."

"But we need it to happen, we want it to happen."

"It can't happen."

"Please Giles."

"I am sorry Buffy."

"Please." She kissed his lips again setting her hand on his thigh. He watched as she moved her hand up his thigh and up to the bulging fabric of his pants, she kept her hand there rubbing up and down. "Buffy- you need to- to stop." Her eyes intense as he stared into them.

He leaned forward this time kissing her and moved his hands to grab her head. She smiled brightly when he let go, "See, I knew you wanted me."

"You're going home. Now, before something else happens." He started the car and drove her home. He kept the car there as she refused to leave and she looked at him tenderly, Giles moved his hand back over to her face, and lifted it to him as he spoke softly. "Of coarse I want you, you should now that by now. I've always wanted you."

"Then you can have me."

"Let me take you inside first."

Buffy smiled and leaned into Giles' kiss, kissing his top lip gently, as he kissed her bottom one. As it slowly started forming into a more passionate kiss, Giles ran his hand down one of the strips of the overalls, stopping at the latch and he stopped the kiss, and looked back into her eyes of blue. Giles then back away from her being stopped by her hand that grabbed his face, he moved his head back towards her as she never once faltered to lower it. "I trust you Giles, it's okay. Let me take you inside."

Giles nodded and watched as she got out, stepping out of car slowly after her. Buffy placed her hand in his and started to walk forward. Giles followed in her steps and felt his heart sink the moment she opened the door, after Buffy finished yelling for her mother, making sure she had left and Buffy started up the stairs.

Giles walked up behind her slowly, his steps feeling as if he were running up the stairs, by time he made it up, he no longer seen Buffy, but heard her moving about in her room. He swallowed the large lump in his throat and stood at her doorway, watching her move about silently.

Buffy looked at the door and saw him standing there, she smiled and walked up to him grabbing his hand once more and looked adoringly into his eyes. "It's okay, everything is going to be okay. I want this and so do you. You do right?"

"Yes." Giles leaned down taking in her face planting a small kiss on her, she smiled as he let her go and he smiled back, as he then entered her room and closed the door. "I want this Buffy. I just don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." Giles kissed her again slower and softer making sure he was careful with the weakened Slayer. Buffy responded and grabbed his shirt and lifted it slowly out of his pants as he unbuttoned his pants, and he looked at her as he cautiously placed his hands on her overalls once more. He un-hooked them gingerly and placed them against her back, not quite forcing them down, he took a deep breath and let them drop to the floor as he took a step back to admire that she was only now in a shirt and panties.

Never in his life had he seen such a thing, or even thought that he could, not with her being his Slayer. She blushed he noticed from head to toe, then removed his pants stepping out of them so that he too matched her. Buffy smiled and moved to him and took off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt slipping it off him stepping back observing her ex-Watcher in just his boxers and laughed nervously. "Second thoughts?"

"No, I'm just- Your Giles, my trusted friend and Watcher, I guess you'll always be that to me, and yet we are about to share the most intimate thing people can share, we are about to share our bodies with one another."

"Yes… I suppose you are having second thoughts."

"I have only been with one other person Giles, I'm still new at this."

"Yes, and I suppose you are questioning how many women I have lain with in my life?"

"Not really, but I am concerned that I will not please you."

"Nonsense, I think I might displease you, I'm not sure how to act around a person of your background."

"You talking the fact that I've screwed a vampire?"


"I can barely remember that night, Angel and I have- had chemistry, but we don't have that."

"We don't- you are regretting this."

Giles made way for his pants and Buffy stopped him and stripped herself of her shirt. "Buffy, one question."


"Would you like me to treat you to as if this is your first time? I can hold myself back and see to it that you enjoy this with such tenderness and love that I can show."

"Can you? I would like too yes, but I would not want to take any pleasure away from you."

"Trust me, I can do this to both our pleasures."

"I trust you." Giles approached her and set a very extremely dangerous tender kiss upon her lips, leaving her breathless though she had not moved a muscle as his lips moved slightly against hers, licking and rolling his tongue gently in between her lower teeth and bottom lip.

She moaned desperately when he moved away from her and smiled, she stared up at him in awe and swallowed loudly, and he kissed her ear then, letting his warm breath indulge her body. "Oh!"

He chuckled softly and kissed and licked her ear lobe. "I am very pleasured with your reactions you see, it gives me great pleasure to know where all these sensitive spots are, and it is also pleasurable for me to find each hidden spot… Time to remove the rest of our clothing, then I'm going to lay you down on the bed and go over your body with everything that makes me a man until I am ready to indulge you the great pleasure of going inside you."

Buffy's breathing was now audible and she had just noticed that she was shaking hard and he moved his hands down her arms causing goose bumps. "Breath luv, steady breaths, don't need you fainting on me when I have yet to begin even."

Buffy looked at him questionably, had he meant to call her luv? She smiled endearingly and steadied her breath and nodded slightly as his hands then moved to her back right to her bra's clasp. Giles just watched with steady eyes what he was about to do, he himself couldn't believe he wasn't the one who was about to faint, the bra's clasp clicked and he removed it from her body as she looked down upon herself and back at him as he just looked her over. "They're too small aren't they?"

Giles looked into her eyes and let a small smile breach his face as he then reached out and grasped one of her breasts gently and started to massage it, having a low moan in response. "No, it's perfect, see how it fits so easily in my hand? See how round and shapely it is? See how your nipple is already hardened when I had barely only touched you?"

Buffy looked down and watched as just his one hand caressed her, his thumb moving over the hardened nipple carefully as she looked back to him and he smiled and lowed his head to his where his hand was still moving and took her nipple with his mouth causing a louder moan.

He continued his sucking on both breasts now and when one was not in his mouth it was in his hand soon he released her from his mouth and smiled. "No, you're perfect luv, in every little way. Now I must lay you down before you fall from your week knees." Had she been wobbling that bad? She moved with him to the bed, he had called her luv again, was it to sooth her? She wondered deeply what he meant when he said it, now it had been twice. He laid her down and she watched him as he steadily moved his hands to her hips and looked into her eyes as he grabbed her underwear, Giles moved them down her legs, his eyes not faltering from hers as he then looked to the new bare flesh that had been revealed.

"Lovely, positively lovely luv, you have a fantastic body, just look at those abs, and this right here-" He moved his hand over her thigh and she opened her legs to him and he forgot to breath for a moment. "Would you mind, if I kissed you there? Have you been kissed there before? I daresay it is something that you and I will both enjoy."

"I'm nervous."

"Don't be, I will be very gentle with you, have I not been so far luv?"

"Why do you keep insisting on calling me that?"

"Would you prefer I do not? I am only trying to ease you, letting you know I care, calling you Buffy is formable to me, it is what I call you in every day instance. I call you luv or pet here it seems more suitable, would you prefer I stop?"

"No, don't stop. Would you rather I call you Rupert?"

"Only if you wish and are comfortable with doing so, I would not mind, no, I would find pleasure in hearing my name moaned from your lips, either it'd be Rupert or Giles."

"Rupert, oh Rupert, you may kiss me there, I have never been before."

"Yes, I assumed not, I promise to be gentle, relax your body for me pet, I can't do this if you're tense."

"It's hard to, I'm nervous."

"You trust me, prove it to me now and show me that you trust your body to me fully." Giles rubbed her over with his hands gently kissing her knee and inner knee area as he moved upward with his kisses and felt her body tense up again and he smiled against her leg. "Relax luv, or I may not even continue the rest of the night. Only think of me as a man, a lover that will soon mark you for his, but only if you wished to be marked, which I can not do if you are tense." He spoke only against her leg, and then she relaxed again, he continued moving and could finally smell her arousal from where his final goal was, he looked over and pursed his lips, he moved forward slightly and blow a small amount of cold air forward. "Rupert! Oh Giles!"

It took his mind only a moment to get used to his name coming from Buffy's mouth, soon to be marked his property with his lips and tongue, he could no longer wait, he was ready to mark her as his. He moved forward bringing his lips gently to her, she moaned briefly and her breathing quickened immensely, it was worst when he brought out his tongue and licked and suckled her, indulging her sweet juices. Buffy's hips moved against him as he set his fingers inside her and he held down her hips with his other hand, so that he did not accidentally hurt her.

Her moaning he had noticed was loud and gasping as he then felt her body shutter and moved his tongue inside her once more and cleaned up the area he was and moved up to her a small look of satisfaction in his eyes, he then brought his mouth to hers, and at the instant his tongue touched hers she could taste herself and knew at that instant she was his and his alone. Once he parted from her he looked at her seriously affectionate. "Would you agree with me that you taste divine?"

"I was not expecting that kiss, it was- it was divine."

"I am ready to lose my body to you, but first I must ask if you are also ready, especially seeing that you had just had a moment of pleasure."

"No I think I am ready, oh please Giles move inside me, let me feel you and try to pleasure you."

"You will do no such thing, you have already pleasured me, and I have paid you back, now it is just simply the coming together in unison, to be one with one another."

Buffy swallowed once more loud enough for him to hear and he smiled. "Nervous again my love?"

"Giles- Rupert-" She dared not to finish asking him not to, or to hurry up and end both the tedious torture of need for this intimate act.

"What is it my love? Do you wish I stop now? Is it that I had made you too fragile to continue anything?"

"No, I'm alright, we can do this, remove your boxers."

"Ah alas, I have no protection with me, there is a high chance-"

"It's fine, I don't care, I want this to happen, please Rupert."

"I will leave you before anything rash happens."

"No, I don't wish that either, I want to feel all of you, even if that means risking my womb, I am handing my body fully to your mercy at least you can show me you do the same, even if that means-"

"That I risk that my seed would impregnate you, alright, if this is your true wish it shall be so."

"I would risk my very life for this moment."

"As would I, now enough foolish chatter, now it is time, do you not agree?"

"Move inside me." Giles smiled and carefully placed himself at her entrance and pressed carefully forward, she was extremely tight but wet and ready for him the only thing he had not expected was to find that the wall of her virginity had not been broken and he looked at her. "When Angel and you made love, was there much pain?"

"Hmm? No. Why, should there have been?"

Giles smiled only a small smile and leaned to her ear. "He did not break you luv, you are still but a unknowing virgin. I will stop if you do not wish for me to continue, it will hurt however if you wish to lose your true virginity."

"Continue, I want you to do what he couldn't."

"As you wish pet, hang tightly to my shoulders, and if you need to, bite down on my shoulder if you wish not to scream in my ear." He pressed more slightly into her and her arms went about him soon after, the pain in her unbearable, but he had not yet even begun, he pulled out and with a hardy thrust he broke her wall of virginity, she then sunk her teeth into his skin, how it hurt, she felt liquid run down her legs as she wrapped them about his body as he moved against her slowly, she removed her hard clenched jaw, and was happy that she was not in full strength, no doubt she would of broke his skin if that were true.

Buffy moaned and kissed her teeth mark on his shoulder, the area was only red and had regained his gaze as tears came to her face as he continued slowly. "Come now my love, there is no need to cry."

"It hurts."

"I told you it would."

"It also feels so good! Oh Giles! Move against me! I'm ready for you now, I want you to come inside me!"

"Mmm, you feel so good around me Buffy, I won't last much longer if you don't relax." Buffy relaxed herself and he moved around her with a little better ease, soon she was coming close to her climax, as was he, but he would rather follow her afterwards and pressed against her hard and fast making her shout his last name over and over, he moaned her first name, she noticed as she felt his seed enter her shaking body.

He only relaxed on her but a moment before removing himself and looked to the small amount of blood mixed with their other fluids of their being together and smiled and laid to one side of her, as she then rolled up to his side, wrapping her arms tightly about him and wept silently, he held her and moved his thumb gently over her temple trying his best to relax her during the dire situation. "Oh Buffy my love, did I hurt you?"

"No, yes… I'll be fine."

"I know you will be… When is your mother to return?"

"Tomorrow afternoon."

"I shall stay the night here then and leave a bit after ten thirty."

"Could you?" She looked up and him and he brushed her face with his hand and nodded towards the stain. "I ought to help you clean that up, before your mother sees."

"Oh no need, I do my own laundry Giles, you don't need to worry that she will see it."

"So you would rather I go home now? Leave you here alone and helpless? No, I care far to much than I should to do that to you, I shall stay the night and protect you as I must, for I am now a over protective lover tonight."

"Just for tonight? Can I just keep you a little longer?"

"You wish to sneak around with me?"

"Please? I have to have a new Watcher and would rather still have you teach me, even if I do have to sneak."

"And you chose this because you do not wish for me to forget such intimacies with you?"

"I would of asked anyway, even if it hadn't been a couple of minutes ago when you let yourself come inside me, that was only a one time thing. Do you not agree?"

"If you were to make me spend long hours with you alone behind everyone, no doubt it would of happened, and it will happen again if I chose."

"What if I chose for it to happen again? Would you take me then and there where I decide I want you?"

He chuckled and leaned into her ear, he had used it when he chose to be at most intimate and loving to her, it was as if that were his marker of ownership of her. "It would all depend on where we would be if you chose to tell me such a thing."

"Alone with you in your office? A secret training session in the graveyard at night? Reading up on the latest demonic disturbance at your house or in the stacks of the library?"

Giles backed away and smiled brightly at that she had already planned for them to be secluded in many places. "My office has blinds for windows, I would take you… In the graveyard, perhaps if there were a place to guard us, even if for a moment from the dangers of being attacked, I would take you… In my house, I would take you to my room but of coarse, I had shared your bed, you should only be able to share mine… In the stacks? I do happen to have a key to lock us inside, I would take you there too… Also in the book cage, or anywhere else in that bloody library, we could block it off and cover the windows on the doors and little windows that people could look though if they wished to, I would take a giant tumble of your body there in the middle of the room if you wished, or on that blasted table, anywhere I could there."

"And tomorrow morning, when we are but still the only ones in this house, will you take me in the morning if I so wished?"

"I would take you again right now if that were your wish, I will take you every time you would ask, as long as we are alone and as long as I can lock us up so that we would not be interrupted by anyone."

"I wish for you to take me again and again tonight, but now I wish not to put any more risk to my body."

"There will be more stains in your sheets then, but I must agree with you, I for one am not taking another risk."

"Unless I wish?"

"Yes, if you wish for us to risk everything, then I will obey by your commands… You rule me with your will and love, pet."

"Rupert." Giles smiled and kissed her head and grabbed her side gently and pulled her on top of him and moved inside her with great ease and pride, they had fallen asleep eventually, both not quite sure what time it was that they had passed from the current exertions that happened over and over in the room, in that bed, proof from Giles being displayed all over her sheets, himself and parts of her.

Giles opened his eyes slowly, he could smell the sex in the air, he was still sleek with sweat as well as Buffy, they had made love continuously, yet not a word of love escaped their lips, except for the occasional Giles calling Buffy his love, but that had not been the feeling behind it, it went deeper than love or trust, it was knowing. He did not touch her nor did he want to, she was content and sleeping at his side, more beautiful in the light that was gleaming though the window, he looked at the time, he had slept to late it was eleven thirty, Buffy's mom was to be home in the afternoon. He got out of her bed carefully and dressed himself in silence, how he hated to leave her, he wished that maybe she would understand, make him pay for it later by waiting a week to call upon him for satisfaction, yes that seem like something she would do for her sweet revenge.

He quickly found her diary, ignoring the pages that held writing he tore out a blank page and set it on her desk and scribbled something down for her to read and set it beside her kissing her cheek gently but briefly before he heard the downstairs door. "Buffy? I'm home!" He looked to her door and heard the footsteps, he tucked to note under Buffy's pillow and leapt out her window before her mom opened her room door. "You're still asleep!"

Buffy opened her eyes and looked up to her mom and smiled sadly. "Rough night. I'll be down in a moment."

Her mom left her room without any need of farter explanation, Buffy then looked to the pillow where her eyes thought she saw something there, her eyes were right she lifted the pillow and found her name sprawled across a piece of paper from her diary. She opened the note quickly and recognized the man's handwriting atomically and smiled. "Good morning pet,

It seems that to my unknowing knowledge that we had over slept from exhaustion last night, I hope that does not mean I am not in trouble for not taking you this morning, I would of if I had waken earlier. Oh my dearest Buffy, thank you so much for convincing that last night must happen, it was very pleasurable for me and I do hope you will find a moment alone with me again and again, that would surely be a treat.

My darling lover, I hope I did not leave you too sore to call upon me today, I do hope I did not hurt you at all last night, but you never once complained except at that once time that I had broke through… Thank you for that honor, for I am the first man who had been the one to mark you, that to me is a great pleasure to know, I shall think on it all day… I'll be in my office if you need me, and yes, I'm expecting no company or calls, unless that is you call then I shall perhaps look upon my phone to ring with only but your voice on the other end, and if you do call, I wish to hear something of sweet nothings come from that pretty little mouth that I had not even kissed this morning… Oh please do come by luv.

Your over protective lover, Rupert."

Buffy smiled, she was happy to see that it was defiantly not his choice to leave her, it was something he simply had to do unless he wanted to be seen in her room with her naked at his side by her mother, oh that was a disturbing thought, she then picked up the phone and dialed the library's number. "Good morning beautiful."

"I'm sorry I missed you, I'm sorry we slept in."

"Ah, as am I. How I long for your body right now, you wouldn't believe."

"Are you hard? Would you need to soon relax yourself by your own hands while thinking about me?"

"The thought had occurred yes, but I'm sure that it will simply go away."

"Unbuckle your pants and wrap your hand around yourself, turn the phone on speaker if you must, but I'm going to help you."

"Oh no need luv, I can manage myself, you get dressed and go downstairs, no doubt you are starved and still a little weak, I shall expect you later today in my office."

"Think about me, think as if it were my hand wrapped around you right now, stroking ever so slightly, squeezing gently to make you moan very audibly, but my hand isn't giving you the pleasure I want to give you, and I move my mouth to where my hand is, your perfect there, salty, sweet and Gilesy." She hung the phone up without another word and dressed herself before descending the stairs and greeted her friends happily at the door explaining the Giles being fired situation, leaving out of coarse that big detail of the fact that she had planned of visiting him soon so that they could have sex, no this affair of theirs was to be kept secret.

Afterwards she figured a way to tell them she was about to go and talk to Giles, they let her go alone considering that they were probably going to talk about what he did to her, make up for his wrongs, that had already been done, he did that yesterday, on her eighteenth birthday. She made her way to the school library and opened and closed the swinging door, she saw his office door was closed and the blinds had already been put down, she knocked on his door. "Enter."

Buffy opened the door and he looked up from his desk, someone was sitting across from him. "Ms. Summers. What is it you come here for?"

The man with him turned, it was someone she didn't recognize and she opened her mouth. "I need a book, I'm sorry for barging in, I couldn't find it. Could you maybe help Mr. Giles? That is if your not to busy."

"If you'll excuse me sir." The man nodded and he closed the door behind him and smiled. "I am sorry, I should of called, you think you could maybe return in an hour?"

"Who is that man Rupert? Is there something going on I should know about?"

"No, it's nothing, just some important things that needs to be taken care of."

"Don't lie to me, not now, not after-"

"Shh, I'm not lying, it really is nothing my love, please."

"Your not in trouble? It's not someone from the counsel who seem to know everything about my life, your life, our life?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

"Then you will leave me to this, please luv don't worry, it's nothing to worry about."

"Alright, I trust you, but please if something comes up, call?"

"Where will you be so I may call you?"

"Your house, waiting by the phone so you may whisper sweet nothings into my ear." Giles smiled and kissed her briefly before she turned and left and he went back into his office. "Sorry about that sir."

"Sir? Rupert you know very well I hate being called sir, especially by you."

"Right, sorry father."

"Who was that girl? Your Slayer?"

"Yes, Buffy Summers, sorry I didn't give you a chance to meet her."

"She is rather pretty Rupert."

"Yes she is."

"Why have you called me here? And skip the speech, I was never one for listing to dribble."

"You had fallen for your potential, have you not father?"

"That is ridiculous Rupert, I love your mother more than anything."

"And yet you had loved that girl, your girl, though she was killed horridly."

"What is this about?- Oh dear lord! Tell me you didn't."

"If I said I didn't I would be lying wouldn't I?"

"They are going to hang you if they ever find out Rupert, she is the Slayer you are her Watcher."

"No, they fired me before I had even thought about touching her, it was afterwards."

"Why must you insist on doing this to yourself? First the magics and Ethan Rayne and not becoming a Watcher, then changing when your mate died, asking for forgiveness, having me believe you had changed."

"I didn't plan for it to happen, in fact I refused her at first. But, she lost my trust, it was her eighteenth birthday yesterday, and as you probably already know, you know very well what that bastard Quinton Travers made me do to her. I was about to lose her as both a Slayer and a friend."

He watched his father as the man placed his head in his hands, shaking his head in disbelieve, his voice coming though somewhat muffled when he spoke. "Do you love her?" He then looked to Giles, and Giles sat in the chair next to him so that he faced his father, he didn't answer. "Well Rupert? Do you? With all your heart and soul and body? Do you love her?"

Giles looked to his hands and back to the older gentleman's face, he had not looked upon him as a father in years, he had never seen his father show any emotion besides anger towards him, even when the man forgave him, he still looked at him angry about the past choices in life he made. Now he saw his father, the man he remembered loving at the age of ten and even a bit older until that unfaithful day when the man had told Rupert about his role he must take weather he liked it or not, he had been in that role for three years, now he was no longer, he was fired and he did have intimacies with his Slayer, his ex-Slayer. "I don't know what love is, I never had a chance to feel it."

"I told you your destiny too early, I should have eased it on you, but we can't change the past Rupert, if we could what would you change? What would you make different?"


"Is that so? You wouldn't wish that mate of yours still lived? That you never met Ethan? That you never rebelled against me? You wouldn't change one thing?"

"All those things made me the man I am today, if none of those happened, or if I pretended they did not I would not know who I am, I would be even more lost than I am."

"And so, you wouldn't change anything? Not even what had happened yesterday? You wouldn't change the course of events?"


"Why not?"

"Because if I did, I wouldn't have Buffy to look upon with love… I love her, I wouldn't want yesterday to change, then it would of changed everything, but seeing as I can't change it, and that it is to late to even regret the simplest thing, I will tell her, I will let her know before I lose her, I wouldn't want her not to know if anything happened to her, like Sophie."

His father cringed at the name, and he looked back to his son. "Then you best go and not waste any time dribbling on to me, I am proud of you Rupert, even though I never seemed to be, I am, I can carry myself to the airport and go home, your mother has been ill."

"Send her my love."

"Yes- well… Go." Giles smiled and ran out of the room, he was glad to see the man again, he was glad he was forgiven about almost everything that had happened, he was glad that his father helped him confess what he was scared to, and the very idea of his father not loving his mother for all those years, and the constant knowing of what his father and his potential Slayer Sophie might have had if he had only told her the truth, but he was married and had a son, she loved him, she told his son long ago, why couldn't Giles at least let his father know?

It was a painful thought if he were in his father's shoes, loving another woman when you are supposed to love your family, and then losing her before you could tell her, he was planning that night to tell her. Giles over heard his practiced speech, he was scared though, the thought that his father leaving his mother for a girl, and a potential Slayer at that. But now he understood, he loved Buffy with all his heart and soul and the very thought of never getting to tell her ripped him up inside, finally he arrived home.

He walked briskly into the loft and Buffy stood from his couch and looked at him with a smile and he walked to her and wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "Oh Buffy my love, my dearest love."


He released her, had she known already? No she didn't have a clue, he kept his conversations to her like this and she never seem to notice the real emotion and reality behind his words this time. "Buffy my love, my dearest love."

She looked up to him, her smile washing from her face and she stared at him. "Giles?"

"Even after all these years of anger, of not even asking how I was or asking how my life was, not one word about his affair until today, he admitted it somewhat to me, finally, even as I knew there was a small possibility of him loving someone other than my mother, someone who he cared for, watched over, protected, loved… I wonder if it should be a constant fear that we might fall for them, why the Watchers aren't women such as the Slayers, why we are mostly men, you think that might solve the problem of one falling hard in love with his charge, even if she were the actual Slayer or a potential? She is the most important person to a Watcher, his or her life will always and forever revolve around this one girl, even if he is fired, certain Watcher's get certain girls, the special one's are specially cared for, the Watcher for each girl is carefully picked. I ended up with you, and there will always be a connection greater than anything between us, from the moment I was born to the moment you were born, we were destine to each other.

Man and woman, Watcher and Slayer, together forever from the beginning of life itself, maybe not this life or the one before hand, they would be connected forever, even if she was a potential. My father had fallen, he was so desperately in love with my mum, I do not doubt that for a second, then came his potential Slayer, Sophie, how funny it was that he had fallen for her, he was about to leave me and my mother for this girl, he loved her with everything that made him, he couldn't understand why, then on the night he planned on telling her, she died, she was mutilated by some unnamed demon, he lost her before she knew he loved her the way she loved him.

I learned that he did love her, he does still love my mother, but she was never his actual soul mate. Do you know what a soul mate is Buffy? It is someone your are born to, someone that is your destiny from the moments of when each of you were born, someone who is no matter what connected to you, someone who makes you understand and know that if you lost them you would lose a part of yourself, someone who was willing and is in love with you, with everything that makes them themselves, because you make them whole. You are ready to spend your life with the person, they are your one and only love.

That is how I feel with you, I know now that no matter what happened yesterday there would have been a day we would find each other as lovers. I now know that it is true you are my soul mate, that I am willing to throw myself at your feet for the rest of my life. I am glad of the things that had brought me to you, I am glad the counsel chose me to be a Watcher even after what I did. You were a special case indeed and they knew it, they know what you will achieve in the years and they knew you needed a teacher who would show you the way with his life ahead of yours, they chose me.

Out of everyone, the one's more qualified, more professional, they chose the rebel son of a Watcher who had loved his potential, they knew yes. I wonder now if they know what we shared last night, and what I wish to share with you for the rest of my life. I believe you are my soul mate, I believe that they knew you were mine from the moment each of us were born they knew that you would be my Slayer, and maybe they knew before everything that I would fall so deeply and passionately in love with you, yes I suppose they know. Do you my love, understand anything I have said to you? Can you let me know weather or not you are feeling the same? Even as I know you do from the way your body shivers in my hands and the way tears are in your eyes, I want to hear the words Buffy."

Buffy looked at him, his words were something indescribable, the man in his office, that was his father, she had just started to realize, he did resemble Giles a lot, except his eyes were somewhat silver, he did not smile, he did not even look like a man who was capable of smiling or of love. Buffy lost feeling in her legs and sat on the couch, Giles sat with her hands in his on the coffee table, he was still waiting to hear something from her mouth, but what could she say that he hadn't already said? "Rupert-"

She looked into his eyes, his name sounded choked in her throat, after everything, these three years, after it all she looked to the man who was her Watcher, fired or not she knew that looking into his eyes that he would not leave her, not now, not ever, unless she- Buffy closed her eyes and reopened them, he was still waiting, she figured he would wait a lifetime for her next words, weather they were happy or not, she couldn't think about what she would say, she wanted to let herself just say it, whatever the turn out.

"Giles, oh how I do love you, of coarse I do. You yes, you are my soul mate, and I will forever remain yours, in your hands, as you teach me, and protect me. You told me the other day, that no one would fire you from protecting me because you stated that 'you protect the one's you love.' You asked if I realized that you had more than a father's love for me… I should of noticed, I should of seen the things you've done for me, the things that you still do for me, telling me that yesterday was a test, that you had no choice, that you're sorry… I didn't listen, I killed you with words of no longer being able to trust you. God stupid! I should of seen it, I should noticed, I'm sorry for not noticing, you were always a friend to me, and you will always be my friend, and then yesterday you became my lover… I love you, I love you with everything that makes me who I am, I've loved you since the moment I was born, we are soul mates, drawn together by our destiny's neither of asked for or wanted, but now we are together, so we must thank them for what happiness we shall spend for the rest of both our lives', never once loving another person but each other. I love you Rupert Giles."

Giles smiled and gripped her hands in his, he leaned forward and brought his mouth to hers and kissed her slowly, no more words needed to be said, now it was time for them to join each other, to become one with one another for the rest of the night, to be and live in each others arms for the remainder of each of their lives, this was defiantly the start of something that nothing could stop, nothing and nobody.