-My True Identity-
By a Midnights Dream
Disclaimer: All characters, items, places and themes mentioned within this story have been created and are licensed by Bones Productions, Kieko Nobumoto, and Toshitsugu Iida. So if you're with SOPA then get off my ass.
I do not own, or take credit for, the artwork that I have decided to use as my cover. The artist, who I could not locate, retains all the credit for creating this dazzling piece of work. If you are the artist I'm sorry I could not ask for your permission properly.
I forget how long we've been walking for now.
It seems like we've been just about everywhere since we've left the city: through raging dirt storms, through howling blizzards, across scalding desert sands. But I don't care. I keep telling myself I'm better off here than I would have been in that damned city.
We're going to paradise. We're going to paradise. We're going to paradise. I repeat like a mantra in my head. It keeps me going when I think my battered paws can't carry me any longer. It's a personal battle with myself. I'm constantly pushing myself farther than I did the previous day. I want to get stronger. I want to be strong like the other members of my pack. But even though I aim to please them so much, there's still one vital piece about me that I've kept hidden from them.
I'm a girl.
I know it seems like such a stupid and obvious thing to keep from your friends. But believe you me; I go to great lengths to hide the fact that I'm female. Although I appear smaller and more delicate I've tried to hide my form with baggy shirts and cargo pants. I know there's nothing I can do about my eyes or my hair, but I try to act like a boy to distract people from how girlishly soft my features are.
But still, you ask, why hide the fact that you are a girl in the first place? Well, because being a wolf in this day and age is hard enough. But being a girl wolf is even harder. First off we are not as common as male wolves; for every four males only one female is born. Second off, how do you think things would pan out for me round mating season? If I made the fact that I was female public then every male in a fifty mile radius would come running after me, forcing me to be his mate. And I did not want that. So to make things easier for myself, I decided to hide my true identity.
"C'mon, runt. Move it!" Hige calls over his shoulder for what I swear is the millionth time today.
"I'm…not a…runt." I protest through my wheezes. Jesus, why do we always have to walk up the steepest hills? My arms are tired and my legs are tired. They feel like they are filled with sand and my lungs are caught in a vice. The sun is setting in the sky, making the heavens pink and yellow. We should be stopping soon, I hope.
Just then Kiba calls out and affirms my greatest desire. "We'll rest here for tonight. We'll continue in the morning."
I sink down on to my buttocks and let out a relieved sigh. Thank god. I don't think I can walk another step.
It's a forest we are in this time, and I have to say that I prefer it over the other landscapes that we've traversed. Darkness is clinging to the undersides of the low hanging boughs, making it appear later in the day than it really is. We hear the faint songs of birds in the trees somewhere, but other than that it is perfectly quiet, desolate even. After all, no animal in their right mind would linger in an area where a hungry wolf rests. It's very peaceful here…I yawn. I could just fall asleep…right..he-
"Hey, kid." An unhappy grunt sounds above me while the sole of a hard boot kicks my side. I lurch awake and bolt upright, expecting there to be some confrontation. But there is none. Kiba and Hige are resting in their wolf forms and Tsume is standing above me, scowling with hands on his hips.
"C'mon. We've been put in charge of finding food."
"Hunh?" The thought puzzles me. Not only is Tsume a capable hunter but he also prefers to hunt alone. So why do I have to go with him? When I voice my question, Tsume simply replies.
"Hell if I know. I'm just taking orders from princess over there." He says sarcastically jabbing a thumb over his shoulder at Kiba. As usual, our stone faced leader doesn't make any indication that he's offended and makes no comment. "Well come or don't come. It doesn't matter to me." Tsume aptly grufs and saunters away into the thick forest brush ahead with his hands in his pockets.
"Ah! T-Tsume!" I scramble to me feet and bolt after him. "Wait for me!"
As usual I'm the one walking behind Tsume, feeling a little uncomfortable by the silence that envelopes us but at the same time not knowing what to say. Instead I decide to scan the area: my ears, eyes and nose open; looking for any signs of life.
All of a sudden, Tsume gruffs. "You know kid, I prefer to hunt alone. I don't need help from someone like you, so why don't you just beat it."
His words hurt sting me, but then I tell myself that Tsume doesn't mean it. Over the course of our journey I've learned that Tsume is no different than the rest of us. He just has a very brusque way of telling me how he feels. He's independent and wants to show us he's strong. I try not to take it personally and whine. "But Kiba said we should stay together. It'll be better that way."
"Fine, stay if you want." Tsume growls, irritated. "Just don't get in my way."
I come to a stop when I hear a faint rushing noise coming from my left. "Hunh…? What's that?" I raise my nose and sniff the air. It smells damp, like water. Without saying a word to Tsume I venture off into the direction the sound is coming from. I don't know if he's following me but somewhere deep down inside I hope he does.
The sound gets louder the faster I approach, and so does the moisture in the air. It's practically making my nose wet now. I burst through the line of trees and nearly stumble over the side of a bluff. I suck in my breath in surprise at what's on the other side of the trees.
"Whoa…" It looks like a river, but I've never seen a river so big before. And the water; it's moving so fast that it looks all white instead of blue. The water thunders down over rocks and waterfalls, making it bulge in certain places. The roaring of the water is so loud it for some reason brings a smile to my face.
Something catches my attention near one of the small waterfalls. It looks like a small disk of silver shoots out of the water of the cascade, hangs in the air for a moment, then flops back down in the water. Several more disks do this.
"Are those…fish?" I ask myself, blinking in puzzlement.
"Hey!" And angry voice shouts behind me. I turn around and see Tsume panting slightly behind me. I feel a spark of electricity resonate through me just from his closeness. His golden eyes are hooded and a bit fierce. I feel my heart clench by how effortlessly good looking he is. God he is such a powerful animal, I think to myself looking up at him.
If I'm honest, I have to admit that I've always been attracted to Tsume a little bit. Whether he is in human form or wolf form he's got strong shoulders and wild, defiant golden eyes. And that scar on his chest…I often fantasize about how he might have gotten it. And his tight leather, mysterious, bad boy, tough guy look has always made me melt. "Why the hell did you run off like that?" He asks irritably and a bit breathless.
"Look Tsume!" I say excitedly, pointing to the salmon leaping out of the water. "There's fish! It'll be an easy meal!"
"You've gottah be crazy." He says. "I'm not going out there."
"Hunh? Why not?"
"Look, pup. If you wana go out there and risk your life for some fish, then be my guest. But you should know that those rocks are slippery as hell."
For some reason I feel the irresistible need to prove Tsume wrong. I'm not a pup any more, and he knows I hate it when he calls me that. Stupid Tsume, I growl internally. I'll show him that I'm just as capable a hunter as any of them, and that I'm not scared. "Fine. I will." I say tersely and leap over the side of the bluff to land on the banking below.
I glance back over my shoulder and see that Tsume is leaning back against a tree, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes closed. Good, I think to myself, he'll be here to see me prove him wrong.
I find some stepping stones that lead out into the water and decide to start there. I lean down on to my hands and revert to my wolf form. The rocks will be slippery and wet, so I figure four paws will be better than two. I eye up the distance between me and the first rock and, digging my claws into the fresh dirt, launch myself across the distance between myself and it. Thankfully this rock is not as slippery as I anticipated, so I stick my landing and let out a sigh of relief. I'm nowhere near the middle of the rapids though, so I decide to keep going. I cross two more rocks the same way until I am in the middle of the river. The rushing sound of the water envelopes me, making me feel like I'm the only one in this forest. I stare intently at the rushing water in front of me…waiting.
All of a sudden the scales of a fish flash in the sun light a moment before it leaps out of the water. I open my jaws, reach out, and close them quickly with a snap down on to the writhing mass of the fish. Ha! Take that Tsume! I can do this. Satisfied with myself I savagely thrash my head from side to side, growling as I snap the fish's spinal cord. It goes limp and I sit back on my haunches and become human again. "Heeeeey! Tsumeeeee!" I call over the thundering rapids, holding the fish over my head. I turn and he is standing on the bank behind me watching impassively. "Look! I caught one! Haha!"
But instead of looking mildly irritated or indifferent, I see Tsume's face twist into an expression of horrified shock. Why is he looking at me that way? "Toboe! Run!" He yells, but I don't know why. Run from what? I hear a carnal growling sound from above my shoulder and without hesitation I leap forward just as a heavy paw comes crashing down on the rock where I just was. With my fish in my jaws, I turn to see what is behind me.
There, only three stones away from me, is a full grown brown bear with its muzzle rolled back over its long, yellow teeth. With a roar it swats its paw at me again in a warning. These are my rapids. I hear its animalistic voice resound in my ears. Stay out of my way, wolf…
I'm still immobilized by how close I came to being sent over the edge of the rapids. My limbs are frozen; my amber eyes are wide staring at the huge, furry mass of the brown bear in front of me. Even though the bear doesn't seem interested in chasing me, I still can't bring myself to turn my back on it and run. Tsume's voice snaps me out of my paralysis.
"Don't just stand there, you idiot! Get back here!"
And all of a sudden it is like I have control of my limbs again. He is so commanding and dominant. I think I could do just about anything if Tsume was the one who told me to do it. Clenching down on my fish I quickly hop over the rocks back to the banking. I revert to my human form as I'm about to leap to the last rock.
"Jeeze, what was that guy's proble-eheeehem!" I feel my world turn as my feet slip out from under me and suddenly I'm looking up into the sky. I let go of my fish and flail my arms trying to stay upright but it is no use. I stepped in a slick puddle of mud on the edge of the banking and I'm already falling towards the roaring rapids. I abandon all hope and clench my eyes shut waiting for the fall to be over. "Waaah!"
"Toboe!" Tsume cries out. Without any concern for himself, he lurches forward, wraps his arms around me, and falls backwards in an attempt to save me from falling to my doom. It works. With a thud we both fall backwards on to the ground, me landing on top of Tsume's chest.
I take a moment to recoil and I groan from the impact. I peek up at Tsume with an amber eye and expect him to push me off immediately and call me an idiot or chastise me. But he doesn't…for some reason…he's staring intently down at me. He looks like he wants to be angry, but underneath his sour expression is a hint of confusion.
I realize now that I must look like a mess: My hair is sticking to my face from the mists on the rapids, my lips are rosy from strangling that fish, and my clothes are all wrinkled and damp.
Suddenly feeling self conscious, I scratch the back of my head and try to act nonchalant. "Aha ha. Sorry Tsume. Boy I'm such a clutz. Thank you for saving me…" Secretly I love the feeling of lying there on top of his chest; of seeing him under me like this. I can feel the heat of his skin through my damp clothes and it ignites faint sparks under my skin and ruffles a school of butterflies in my gut. I roll off of him and keep my face down cast to hide my blush as I go to pick up my fish. "Whew. It's lucky that I didn't lose this guy over the waterfall, eh Tsume?" I ask, trying to put that whole uncomfortable moment with me and him behind us. But he is silent.
He is standing on his feet now, staring at me intently with his usual hooded gaze. "…Toboe." He gruffs softly. "Come here."
Again, I feel like my body is moving according to his will. As soon as he commands it, my limbs are moving of their own accord. I swear, it's scary to think just what I 'm capable of doing for Tsume. I do as I'm told and stand in front of Tsume, looking up at him with curious amber eyes. "What is it, Tsume?" I ask softly.
He is silent for a moment, leering down at me. I'm about to ask him again when he leans forward and asks. "…Are you hiding something from me?"
I feel my heart seize with panic. Oh god, could he know? Was he able to smell my scent when we got close? I feel a bead of sweat form near my brow. "Uh n-no…" I mumble averting my gaze. His fingers grab me by my chin, making me look back up into his eyes and I gasp.
"…You're lying to me." He deduces.
Shit. Oh crap, not good. "I-I am not." I swat his hand away and go to step around him but he grabs me by my arm.
"Yeah right." He growls. Before I can even react or turn to look at him he grabs the hem of my shirt at both sides and pulls it apart. My eyes go wide in horror as I hear all the buttons snap snap snap one after another…exposing my bound breasts and curves underneath.
The expression that registers on Tsume's face is complete shock. His golden eyes go round and his mouth forms into a small, gaping o. He takes a step back, as if he was expecting to see a flat chest and ridged features under my clothes. "It…can't be…"
I yell and hastily wrap my shirt around myself, covering my chest and curves. "Tsume!" I shrill outraged and now it is his turn to look totally submissive. "What's wrong with you!" By this point my face is as beat red as a cherry tomato and I can feel tears pooling at the corners of my eyes. That only happens when I'm extremely angry about something. "You don't just go tearing open a girl's-I-I mean a person's shirt like that! What's the matter with you!" I choke down a sob, turn on my heel and book it as fast as I can back into the forest. I hear Tsume's voice call after me, but this time his commanding tone has no affect. Tsume may be stronger and more built than me, but I can out run him any day. I focus on my breathing and my anger to run as fast as I can. Soon Tsume's scent and the sound of his paws fade away behind me.
So Tsume is a jerk. Nothing new there. But whoa-wait. Toboe is a giiiiirl?! I know it's weird but I got into this fic a while ago called Mating, Killing, and Secrets by Zarakilover and even though his/her story has a bit to be desired for character accuracy, spelling, and grammar; it was still a really awesome story that was interesting and…for lack of a better word good. His/Her story was the first I read that had Toboe as a girl and surprisingly I really likes it.
Unfortunately, it has been months and months since they have updated so I fear that we won't be seeing the conclusion to their story.
My first chap may be a little un eventful but trust me…our two favorite love birds will deffinately be seeing more action in the next chapter ;)
Review if you want more! Bye!
And now, an Excerpt from my crazy-ass dreams:
On 9/3/11 I had this dream that this gorgeous anime woman with long, midnight blue hair came down from outer space and she claimed to be my guardian.She was born from a falling star and had star barrettes in her hair. Me, her, Death the Kid, and Free from Soul Eater went on a lot of adventures through the city fighting crime. Then all of a sudden the blue haired woman turned to attack me and out of nowhere this woman with long pink hair appeared in front of me and deflected the other's attack wither pink hair. It was magic…I guess. She called the blue woman out as being an imposter and said that she was my real guardian. Instead of being born from a shooting star she was born from the nebula. Together we all joined forces and beat the blue bitch's ass and ran her out of town.
And then I woke up to an ordinary day.