He supposed it had started with the fight.
I was supposed to be a training match with Kanda, but really, when did those ever end well? Especially when they were left unsupervised. There weren't even spectators that day; though, that might have been because it was five in the morning….
Allen decided to rewind his thoughts a bit further.
Allen sat up in bed and sighed. He'd been tossing and turning for the past couple of hours. Sometimes it happened, nights when he couldn't sleep. It wasn't really a surprise, with the burden of the past as well as the worries of the future. Tonight was definitely just one of those nights where sleep was a reclusive bitch that made your eyes hurt to close no matter how tired you felt.
Tossing his covers aside, Allen stood up. He got half dressed, but, since he was going to do some one armed push-ups, he decided a shirt was unnecessary. Pulling out his chair, he balanced it on one leg and easily jumped up on it. Then he started counting. This was his usually way of getting the restlessness out of his body. It worked… about half the time.
There was a whistle from the doorway.
"Wow, Allen, I didn't know you were actually pretty buff."
"Oh," Allen jumped down from the chair and looked at his door. Lavi was leaning on the doorframe, grinning goofily. "Um… did I leave the door open…?"
"Well, just a little, but I happened to pass by and heard suspicious creaking and panting, so I came to see who stole your room while you were out," Lavi said. Allen gave him a flat glare.
"What's that supposed to mean…?" he asked. Lavi's grin turned mischievous, and he walked up to put an arm on Allen's shoulder, and another patting the younger man's chest.
"It's alright, beansprout, you'll understand when you're older," he said. Allen's gaze leveled.
"It's Allen, and you do remember who my master is, yes?"
"Oh… yeah… that guy…" Lavi said, face falling without losing his smile.
"Anyway, what are doing up?" Allen asked, no noticing that Lavi had yet to move his hands.
"I could ask you the same thing," Lavi said, smiling in earnest again.
"Oh, I just couldn't sleep," Allen said, smiling and scratching the back of his neck. Lavi snorted, taking a step back.
"Geez, you and Yuu are so similar sometimes…" he said. Allen glared.
"Why are you comparing me to him?" he asked, a dark aura gathering around him. Lavi held up his hands in apology.
"I just meant that you both seem to think the solution to not sleeping is working out!" he said quickly.
"Oh," Allen paused. He thought. "So… he's in the dojo right now?"
"Uh…" Lavi felt as though he were going to regret his next statement. "Yes…?"
"Good," Allen said, grabbing a shirt to throw on. Lavi knew he would regret saying it…
"Dammit! Beansprout, can't you see I'm trying to concentrate?" Kanda stopped in the middle of a complex series of movements. He was dressed in his usual sleeveless black top and pants, hair tied back.
"It's Allen! Idiot, how many times do I have to tell you!" Allen jumped next to the taller man.
"Whatever, why are you here?" Kanda put a hand on his hip, practice sword pointing at the ground. Lavi, sitting out of the ring, sighed. He most definitely regretted telling Allen that Kanda was up. But there seemed to be something, just a little something, more than annoyance in his look as he watched Allen and Kanda.
"How about a practice match?" Allen asked, smiling. Kanda scoffed.
"Do you think just because I'm here and you just show up I'll automatically jump into having a match with such a poor swordsman?"
"Hey! You're the one always complaining about my swordsmanship, but you're supposed to be teaching me! So isn't it that the student is a reflection of the teacher?"
"Are you calling me a poor teacher?" Kanda said, stepping closer to Allen. The two were starting their usual death stare match.
"Well, you know what they say," Allen said. "There are no bad students, only bad teachers!"
"You little…!" Kanda's practice sword rose to strike.
"Oi! Not so loud!" Lavi called, making Allen and Kanda flinch. "You'll wake everyone else up, you know?"
"Damn beansprout, this is your fault!" Kanda said in a harsh whisper.
"It's Allen, and how is this my-"
"Just get a practice sword already, if you're so eager to get beaten," Kanda interrupted. Allen blinked, then huffed before stalking off to get a wooden practice sword. Kanda looked at Lavi. They shared an even gaze.
"This has nothing to do with that, yeah?" Lavi said suddenly, looking off to the side. Kanda snorted, then smirked.
"Are you just afraid of losing?" he asked.
"Tch," Lavi smirked himself, looking at Kanda sidelong. "Not a chance."
"You ready or what?" Allen asked, returning with his practice sword. Kanda turned his attention back to Allen, and the 'lesson' began.
"Fix your footing," Kanda said, "That's the wrong block, move your weapon higher."
"Shut up, I know, okay?" Allen said, getting frustrated within the first five minutes. Yet, despite this, he was grinning. It felt good, going up against someone as strong as Kanda. And it was much more entertaining than push-ups.
"Control your emotions, beansprout!" Kanda said, hitting Allen in the ribs. Again. Finally, Allen had had enough.
"It's Allen, dammit!" he said, twisting away and impossibly turning his torso to punch Kanda across the face. Kanda spat, then kicked Allen in the gut to reciprocate. They jumped away from each other, then back in. However, they were stopped before they reached each other.
"Hey! You guy's fist fights are too loud!" Lavi said, jumping in between them. He looked annoyed, which was odd, since Allen and Kanda sparring didn't usually bother him all that much. Picking up his practice sword with a sigh, Allen blamed it on the time.
"It was beansprout that started it," Kanda said, letting his practice sword point to the ground.
"It's Allen! A-L-L-E-N!" Allen said, glaring. Lavi sighed, putting a hand to his chin as they glared between him.
"Can't you two find some other way to vent your frustrations…?" he asked. Then, as soon as he'd said it, he flinched, as if realizing he'd made a mistake. Allen looked at him quizzically. Kanda snorted, moving to lean his practice sword against the side of the ring.
"Is this permission then, bookman junior?" he asked, back still turned.
"No," Lavi said. "Hell no."
"Oh really? And how would you stop me, anyways?" Kanda said, coming to glare up at the redhead. Lavi crossed his arms.
"It was a poor choice of words, yeah," Lavi said. "But that's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean, bookman junior?" Kanda asked. He seemed to spit the title as if it were an insult. Lavi huffed, looking off to one side while weakly glaring.
"Well, just that it's really inconvenient for everyone when you guys always fight, you know?" he said. Kanda smirked.
"And it has nothing to do with that, right?" he asked. "Or is this just bullshit to cover up your cowardice?"
"Dammit Yuu! That wasn't what I meant!" Lavi said, putting a hand over his eyes.
Lavi and Kanda flinched. They had completely forgotten Allen was there until had had spoken. They turned their heads to look at their white-haired comrade. Allen held up one hand, face a perplexed smile.
"Excuse me, but what are you two talking about?"
Lavi and Kanda stared in shock at Allen for a few moments, then looked back at each other.
"Maybe…" Lavi said, "We should let him decide?"
"I hate to agree with you, but…" Kanda said, expression turning neutral.
"…what are you guys going on about?" Allen asked, expression and stomach dropping in unison. Kanda smirked at Lavi.
"So, one at a time, or together?"
"Hmm… one at a time would be pretty troublesome, wouldn't it? But we should probably go somewhere else," Lavi replied. Kanda snorted.
"Yeah, beansprout may run away if we stay here…"
It was then Allen realized he had been forgotten again. With an irritated sigh, he turned and walked away while Lavi and Kanda kept talking. He put away his practice sword, then decided to go to the library.
The problem with fighting when you're trying to sleep, he thought, is that it wakes you up.
However, half way there, Allen started to feel the effects of little sleep and physical exertion. He began to stumble, then changed his mind about the library and headed for his room. He was too tired to be surprised when he opened his door and found he had guests. Kanda was sitting in his chair, and Lavi was examining his possessions with interest.
"About damn time, beansprout," Kanda said, surprisingly calm.
"Aw! And I was sure about the library, too!" Lavi said. Kanda looked over at the bookman.
"I already told you, he would have headed there first before getting tired and coming here," the exorcist said. Allen sighed through his nose. They were doing it again, whatever it was they were doing. Deciding to ignore them and simply go to sleep, he closed the door and began unbuttoning his shirt. He didn't notice Lavi walk behind him to lock the door as he and Kanda continued to fight, nor did he notice that they were both watching him even as they talked to each other.
"… even be nice and give you the first shot," he heard Kanda say as he tossed his shirt on the floor, to tired to really care.
"Gee, thanks, Yuu," Lavi said. Allen didn't even want to know what they were talking ab-
All thought process in Allen's mind ceased and desisted as he was turned and soft, slightly chapped lips pressed against his. It was Lavi, cupping the side of Allen's face with one hand, the other wrapping around the younger boy's waist. Allen's brain refused to work as Lavi pulled back, opening his eyes to look at Allen's reaction. The white-haired boy was wide eyed, but coherency was beyond him at the moment. He couldn't even form the word reverberating around his skull.
"Oi, bookman junior," that was Kanda, but he sounded distant to Allen. And suddenly it was Kanda who filled his vision, rather than Lavi. Kanda cupped both sides of Allen's face, and kept his dark, calculating eyes open as he leaned down to kiss the shorter male as well.
Kanda's mouth was a bit thinner, and firm. And when he pulled away, Allen was no closer to coherency than he had been before.
"…that easy to make you speechless?" Kanda asked, tilting his head. He still sounded distant, as if Allen were hearing him from underwater.
"Oi, Yuu!... stand there…had your fair shot, now we agreed…"
Lavi, coming into Allen's vision as Kanda took a step back. Things were moving in slow motion for Allen, and all he could do was watch, pushing against the water that seemed to have trapped his thoughts.
"…scared to lose, …?"
Rather than clearing, everything seemed to become more distant, Kanda and Lavi's images blurring in Allen's view. He was trying to figure everything out, struggling in a pool of dark water.
Lavi kissed me. Kanda kissed me. And earlier, they were saying something about letting me decide… wait… does that…? What does that…?
In his imaginary pool of water, Allen saw a light above him. He pushed up, swimming toward it with all his might. It started out slow, but grew easier the closer he came.
And when Kanda asked Lavi if what he said was permission… then… did they have some kind of bet or something…? But, what kind of… about me…? And why would they both…
Suddenly, Allen burst into the light, feeling as though he had been throw back into the room with Kanda and Lavi. He could suddenly see and hear everything perfectly.
"Admit you, you know I'm going to win this," Kanda said. He and Lavi were glaring at each other.
"Dammit, Yuu! I wish we'd never made this bet in the first place..." Lavi said, seeming tired.
Both men flinched, then slowly turned to look at Allen. The white-haired exorcist's face showed no expression.
"…shit," Lavi said, looking away and flushing lightly.
"You dumbass," Kanda said, glaring at Lavi. Before Lavi could reply, Allen punched both men across the room. They both looked up in surprise. Allen was glaring.
"Uh… Allen…" Lavi said. Kanda stood up, impassively brushing himself off.
"We both like you, beansprout," Kanda said, then leveled his gaze at Allen. "So, instead of fighting about it, we made a bet."
"What?" Allen asked. He'd gone from pissed off to skeptical in a moment. Lavi sighed, picking himself up from the floor.
"We bet that whoever you made a move on first won, and the other would give up," he said, looking at Allen as well. At least he looked sheepish, even… blushing? Allen shook his head a little, and started laughing nervously.
"You're kidding," he said. Kanda kept his face blank.
"No, we're quite serious," he paused a moment. "Allen."
Kanda saying his name made Allen's spine do a funny shivery thing, and he wasn't sure he liked it. Especially when he was looking at him as if he were looking through him; as if, at that moment, the being known as "Allen" were all that existed. Then Allen looked at Lavi.
Lavi was trying not to look at him, but couldn't seem to stop himself. He had his hands crossed behind his head, and a bright blush had spread across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. The looks he did give Allen were bittersweet, full of badly suppressed longing.
Allen felt his own face suddenly heating up.
Why is it suddenly harder to breath? It.. it must be too stuffy in here! That's it, I'll just open the door and…
Allen hadn't realized he'd already moved until the door handle refused to move in his hand. His brain stopped.
"Did you think you'd get off so easily…"
Suddenly Kanda was speaking right into Allen's ear, close enough that the shorted exorcist could feel his breath kiss his cheek. Lavi was at his other side, just as close, both men wrapping their arms around him. They next spoke in unison, voices heavy.
"Wha-" Allen started, attempting to jump back. Kanda and Lavi let him, watching him as he backed into the far wall. "What do you two think you're doing?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Kanda asked, smirking. Lavi sighed.
"I was really hoping this would go better…" he said.
"What… what do you mean?" Allen asked, trying to draw himself up even though he was pretty sure his stomach had reached the center of the earth by now.
"Just that," Lavi said, shrugging. He was looking Allen in the eye now. "Allen, we need you to come to a decision."
"And quickly, beansprout," Kanda said. "This bet is tiresome."
"I… HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE THAT KIND OF DECISION!"
"Keep your damn voice down! You want everyone to know we're in here?" Kanda said, taking a step closer.
"Calm down…" Lavi said, holding up his hands with a pacifying expression. Kanda half growled.
"A couple of minutes ago I was pretty sure you hated my guts! Now you expect me to pick which one of you to like?" Allen said, but quieter. Kanda paused, then smirked.
"If you thought I hated you, why does this seem to be a hard decision?" he said. "Allen."
"St-stop that!" Allen said. His face felt like it was on fire, and he really didn't know how to handle the tingly thing in his spine. He covered his eyes, sitting on his bed. Kanda scoffed.
"What? Saying your name?" he asked. " 'Allen, it's Allen!' Isn't that what you're always yelling at me?"
"Shut up!" Allen said, but with less force.
"Yuu…" that was Lavi. Allen didn't see, but he guess they shared a look.
"…fine. Sorry, beansprout," Kanda said, sounding two parts irritated and one part apologetic. Allen looked at them from between his fingers. They hadn't moved from where they'd been.
It's so weird, he thought. Before, they were almost molesting me, but now… it's like they're waiting for my permission or something.
With a sigh, Allen flopped back on his bed, closing his eyes. After the initial shock, his drowsiness had returned with a vengeance. Sure, now I want to sleep…
"…I'm tired, I'm going to bed," Allen said. His body felt so heavy now…
"… like that?" He wasn't sure who asked.
"Don' wanna move…" Allen mumbled in response. Someone sighed in response, and suddenly he was being moved. Two pairs of hands shifted him under the blankets, then pulled them over him. All this he was only dimly aware of, already slipping into velvet oblivion…
When Allen woke up, he wanted it to have been a dream. At first, he thought it had been. He woke up slowly. He didn't remember his bed being so oddly warm, not that it really bothered him, it was actually… kind of… right, somehow…
And, just before slipping back to sleep, Allen's eyes flew wide open in realization. His entire body stiffened as he looked down to see Kanda and Lavi, asleep on either side of him. Both were half on top of him, actually. He thought about struggling out, but he was under the blankets, while Lavi and Kanda were on top, and moving was impossible.
These two are heavy…
Eventually, he sighed, looking up at his ceiling while he waited for one or both of them to wake up while trying to remember how it had gotten to this point. He had just concluded that it had started with his decision to fight Kanda when Lavi groaned and pulled himself up a bit. Groggy, he blinked at Allen, then smiled softly propped his head on his hand.
"Good morning," he whispered. It was a side of Lavi Allen had missed; it was ridiculous, really, how soft and gentle the ever active and mischievous Lavi had turned. And all he had said was good morning.
"Um… why are you guys on top of me?" Allen asked, still a little awed by Lavi's change in demeanor. Mostly because, although he seemed so different, it wasn't out of place. He was still very much Lavi.
"Oh, sorry, does it hurt?" Lavi asked, blinking in surprise. He didn't seem to be about to move, though he did tense.
"No, it's not that, just why?" Allen asked, not sure what to feel at this point. Lavi relaxed, smiling again.
"Oh, okay," he said. "Well, about that…"
"You seemed cold," that was Kanda, eyes still closed. "And I couldn't trust the idiot alone with you, so-"
"Isn't that the other way around!" Lavi asked, looking irritated. They were all speaking in whispers for some reason, but it wasn't a big deal.
"Hey, it's too early for fighting," Allen said, trying to play peacemaker. Kanda opened his eyes and he and Lavi looked at each other. They seemed to agree to something, and Kanda sat up as well.
"Then maybe we should try something else…" he said, and Allen felt very much like a gazelle trapped by two very smart lions as the two moved closer to him. "…Allen."
"Ah, but I-" he started, then stopped. Mostly because Kanda kissed him, but also because Lavi started kissing and sucking at his neck.
Allen was scared; he could admit it. He wasn't scared that Kanda and Lavi were going to rape him; no, if he asked, they would stop. Last night showed that much. No, what scared him was something completely different.
Mainly, that he didn't really want them to stop.
As well as everything that meant.
When Allen made a small, accidental gasp, Kanda used the moment to deepen the kiss. The dark-haired exorcist was rough, demanding dominance. He bit at Allen's lip, forced him to open his mouth more so that Kanda could take the lead. Instinctively, Allen started fighting back. But that wasn't all. Where Kanda was harsh, Lavi was soft. He was peppering Allen's neck with butterfly kisses and gentle nips and sucks, as if Allen would break if he were too hard. Moving around with Cross, and moving from one brothel to the next, Allen hadn't had time between moving and paying his master's debts to form any type of romantic relationships. No one, certainly not Cross, had every really treated him like something precious. And no one had wanted to make him belong to them, to mark him as theirs and not let go.
He was currently experiencing both.
Needless to say, he was dizzy.
Kanda broke away to breathe. He looked down at Allen, then smiled and moved to attack the other side of the white-haired boy's neck. Allen found all he could do was whimper, his head was spinning too much to do more. Besides that, he was still under the damned blankets.
Lavi, noticing his chance, took over Kanda's place. Now it was the kiss that was gentle; gentle and warm and asking Allen to participate rather than demanding. It was so soft, compared to Kanda's, and Allen had to taste the difference, like dessert after a good meal. But Kanda was still at his neck, biting hard enough to leave dark bruises without a care. But that was okay too. There was something primal and deep in Kanda's need for dominance, for ownership. Something sharp and viral, looking to posses and protect, to own so that it completely block it's goal from all the coldness of the world. It made Allen shiver. But then there was Lavi; Lavi adding in so much light, something bright and pure and overwhelming in all of it. But, at the same time, kind of heartbreaking, like innocence being overshadowed by something older and wiser, something calloused that screamed for someone to look past that and accept it. It made Allen want to wrap his arms around his… whatever Lavi was right know and not let go.
And they wanted him to choose?
"St… stop," Allen whispered, noticing only then that Lavi had returned to the other side of his neck. "Please, stop."
Kanda and Lavi both froze.
"Allen…" that was Lavi, hurt.
"Go, please. I… I need time to think," Allen said, closing his eyes. If he looked, his resolve might falter, and he really needed to figure this out.
"…tch," Kanda. "Move, bookman junior."
"… yeah, okay."
Allen didn't sit up until he heard the door close behind them. He looked at the door. For a long moment, he just stared. Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
What am I supposed to do now?