Back from the funeral

By Shadowgate


A/N: This is a sequel to Ike versus the TSA.

Kyle had just awakened in his hotel the day after the funeral of his other grandmother. He was not getting along with his parents and his dad Gerald was not someone he wanted to be around because after all Gerald lost his mother.

Kyle and Ike were sharing a hotel room and Gerald shared a room with Shelia. At 7AM Shelia was pounding on the door.

"Kyle it's time to get up we have to leave for the airport."

Kyle replied back "no shit."

Shelia yelled "WHAT WHAT WHAT?"

Kyle said "coming mom."

Shelia said "you better be Goddamn it!"

Gerald just got out of the shower and complained "this whole visit has been nothing but a fucking nightmare."

Shelia states "I want to ring Kyle's neck because he ordered that porn movie. He's sharing a room with Ike and he thinks that it's okay to order a porn movie. He's under 18 oh but he orders a fucking porn movie."


Shelia groans and throws her purse across the hotel room.

When they get to the airport they check in. As they're going through the x-ray machine two men with large mustaches wearing red dresses approach them.

"Excuse me ma'am I'm agent 2007 and that Canadian boy is clearly not your biological son."

Shelia says "oh shit we went through this back at the Colorado Airport and Agents 105 and 205 cleared Ike."

Agent 2009 states "I'm agent 2009 and I don't care what happened back at the airport in Colorado because we need to investigate this child."

Kyle yells "oh shit these cross dressing pedophiles are going to rough up Ike again."

Shelia says "Kyle watch your Goddamn mouth."

Kyle reacts angrily and states "I'm an American citizen and I'll cuss freely."

Shelia turns her head toward Kyle and says "you're already grounded for a month for ordering that porn movie now if you want to go for two months just keep acting up."

Shelia turns to Gerald and says "I can't believe that porn movie where that man had his tongue up his mistress' ass."

Kyle replied "he sure did" and starts laughing hard.

Shelia says "Kyle you knock it off and this is your last Goddamn warning."

Kyle gives Shelia a dirty look.

After running Ike Broflavski's name through a computer he was cleared to fly.

As they boarded the plane they were stopped by agents 2007 and 2009.

Agent 2007 said "wait a minute Gerald Broflavski we just came across information that your mother died recently is that true?"

Gerald answered "yes I flew here from Colorado for her funeral."

Agent 2007 became stern and said "well now she's unaccounted for and for all we know you may have killed her by sending her poison candy from Colorado."

Gerald yelled "WHAT?"

Agent 2009 asked "do you know where her body is located?"

Shelia yelled "WHAT WHAT WHAT?"

Gerald yelled "Oh my God!"

Agent 2009 said "at homeland security we track everyone at all times to make sure they're in their proper places and we have to investigate whenever a relative of someone getting on an airplane has died."

Gerald stated "I didn't kill my mother and even if I did that would be a state charge."

Agent 2009 replied back "not if you sent poison across state lines in a jar of candy and made her think it was candy."

Gerald became furious and yelled "I DIDN'T KILL MY MOTHER YOU SONS OF BITCHES!"

Agent 2007 tazered Gerald and Kyle yelled "you tazered my dad."

Agent 2009 said "we can do that kid."

Kyle turned to his mom and said "well it looks like I'm not the only one who's grounded we're not going to get on this airplane."

Shelia said "arggghhh" and then all of the sudden loud thunder was heard then the electricity in the airport went out.

Then Shelia yelled "OH GODDAMN IT!"

It took two hours before the electricity came back on due to power lines going down and being in need of extreme repair. After the power came back on the two TSA agents decided they were going to run Gerald's name through the big computer system because they had nothing better to do.

It was 1PM after Gerald was cleared to fly and when they went back to the gate they were told that the next flight to Denver Colorado would not be until 3AM. Due to a power outage and TSA harassment the Broflavski's missed their 9AM flight.

They went to a motel nearby to rent a room for the evening. This time Gerald and Ike would share a room so that way Kyle and his mom could share a room. Shelia was determined to keep Kyle from ordering another porn movie.

While they were in their motel room Kyle asked his mom "why do hotdog packs come in eight but hotdog buns come in bags of six?"

Shelia got mad and said "Kyle so help me I am in no mood."

At 7PM they go out for dinner. Gerald has had the worst trip of his life and Shelia is not in a good mood either.

Right after they finished dinner a clown came out of nowhere and put a pie in Kyle's face.

Everybody laughs at Kyle and then Kyle goes off like a cannon.


Shelia drags Kyle to the restroom and shoves him through the men's room door and tells him to wash up.

When they arrive at the airport they are cleared immediately. At 3AM they get on the plane.

Right as Kyle sits down on the airplane he gets out his cell phone and calls Cartman.

Cartman answers "hello Cartman this is your motherfucking pimp and you were supposed to be at the street corner between Dog shit Road and Bitch Avenue two hours ago."

Cartman screams as loud as he can and Shelia says "Kyle get off the phone."

Shelia tells Kyle he's now grounded for six weeks. They arrive at Denver and head home. Kyle goes straight to his room and he's just glad to be out of New Jersey because he and his mom were both going at each other and everyone else up there.