"So did you tell your parents?" Adam asked as he sat down next to me before class.
"Yeah, not how I wanted to tell them but they know that we are seeing each other." I said and Adam gave me a small smile.
"Are they okay with it? I know that there is a good chance that your dad doesn't want us dating." Adam commented and I shrugged.
"My dad said he was fine with everything as long as I am not dating your mother." I said, not really wanting to talk to anyone at the moment, even Adam.
"Are you okay? I just thought that you would be happier about all of this." Adam said just as our teacher called the class to order and I had never been happier to be in school than right now.
It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to Adam, it was just that there was a lot going on in my head right now that I had to think through. My dad had royally screwed up with all that he said but I did in a weird way understand. He should have known from the beginning that it was me working for him and not Teddy. Yes I made this whole mess for myself but between my parents it was easy for me to feel unloved at the moment. They were doing their best and I was not making it easy for them but they could at least try to keep their opinions to themselves.
I tried to avoid people for the rest of the day. I was not in the mood to make small talk and I made that apparent. Adam eventually took a hunt and didn't bother me when lunch rolled around and even Teddy was silent on the drive home.
When we walked in the front door of the house our mother greeted us with a warm smile as she finished up the call that she was on.
"Hey dad had to go out of town for a few nights so it will just be us this weekend." Our mother said as she put her hand over the speaker end of the phone.
"Okay, let us know when dinner is ready." Teddy said as we both walked up the stairs.
When we reached the top of the stairs I quickly walked into my room, only to have Teddy follow me inside and lay down on the bed.
"So what crawled up your butt?" He asked as he tossed one of my pillows in the air.
"Excuse me?" I asked and he sighed as he rolled over onto his stomach, propping himself up on his arms.
"You have been quiet and allusive all day, sorry but that is never how my sister acts." Teddy said and I let out a sigh.
"I've just been trying not to annoy anyone with my presence. Apparently I have been driving our parents up a wall lately and now neither of them want me as a daughter anymore. It's no wonder they are so excited about the new baby." I growled and Teddy rolled his eyes.
You are overreacting Fee, we both know that our parents adore you. Our parents have just been under a lot of stress and for some reason you dating Adam threw them over the edge. I don't even know what the deal is, but they really hate his mother. I overheard them talking the other day and mom threatened the poor woman, mom. Come on she is like the least violent person ever, so whoever this Elena Lincoln person is must be bad news." Teddy said, trying to reason with me.
"They could still tell me why they don't like her. The only answer that I get is just because and that isn't an answer. I've met the woman and she doesn't seem that bad, she's a little odd but that's it. It isn't illegal to be odd, if it was you would have been taken into custody a long time ago." I joked and Teddy cracked a smile.
"I just hate seeing you like this. You're my little sister and I am suppose to protect you from feeling like this, but it's hard when your parents are the ones who cause the pain. I just wish that we had been honest about everything from the beginning. I screwed up and which caused you grief in the end, for that I am sorry." Teddy said and I shrugged.
"You couldn't have known that it would turn out like this. I don't blame you for being scared of what dad would think. That man is like a tree in a hurricane with the way his moods change." I said trying to get Teddy to stop blaming himself for the mistakes of our dad.
"No buts. So I was thinking, since dad is away do you think that we can talk mom into allowing us to order pizza for dinner? We are never allowed to get pizza when dad is around and I am craving cheese." I said with a smirk.
"I think we could talk her into it, but we better do it before Mrs. Jones starts cooking." Teddy said as we both got to our feet so we could head downstairs.
When we made it into the kitchen, Mrs. Jones was in the middle of making tea for our mom and dinner was no where to be seen. It looked like Teddy and I had made it just in time to get pizza for dinner.
"Hey Mrs. Jones, have you seen our mother?" I asked leaning on the counter and she gave us a soft smile.
"She is working in your father's office, I was just about to bring her some tea, should I tell her you two are looking for her?" She asked and I nodded.
"If you could that would be great." I said and she nodded before she took the mug of tea and started into the office.
"Do you think we should invite Mrs. Jones to eat with us tonight? I mean Taylor is out of town with dad and I don't think she should eat alone." Teddy said and I nodded.
"I think that would be nice. Dad would cringe at the idea too which makes it so much better." I said with an evil smirk as our mother approached us.
"Hey, what's going on?" She asked.
"Teddy and I were wondering if it would be possible to get pizza for dinner. I know that dad hates it but he isn't here and we never get it." I pleaded.
"Oh and Phoebe and I were wondering if Mrs. Jones could eat with us as well. We know that Taylor is out of town and we don't want her to have to eat alone, that isn't really fair." Teddy added and we could see our mother start to melt.
"Your dad will not like this at all." She started. "But I think that your idea sounds rather great. Go ahead and order the pizza and then ask Mrs. Jones if she would care to join us." Our mother said before turning and walking back towards the office as Teddy and I high-fived.
"You order the pizza and I'll ask Mrs. Jones." I said as I handed the house phone to Teddy and went off in search of Mrs. Jones.
When I caught up with her she was in the middle of doing dad's laundry.
"Back so soon?" Mrs. Jones asked and I nodded.
"Well my mom, Teddy, and I were wondering if you would like to eat dinner with us tonight. Oh and we are ordering pizza so you don't have to cook anything." I added, knowing that if I forgot to say that she would probably start dinner soon.
"I don't know-"
"Come on, we all know that Taylor is out of town with our dad and we don't want you to eat alone. You are practically family." I added and she smiled.
"I guess it wouldn't hurt if I joined you tonight." She said.
"Awesome, I will let everyone know." I said, spinning on my heels before I went back to where Teddy was.
"Mrs. Jones is eating with us and we should probably order an extra pizza for the security detail as well." I said and he nodded as he order an extra cheese pizza and then paid using his debit card.
It was about an hour later that the pizza arrived and everyone was seated at the table for dinner. For the first time in a few months we seemed like a normal family. Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves and honestly I never wanted the night to end. We weren't trying to please our father and our mother didn't have to make sure that nothing was going wrong, we were in a way ourselves.
When we were finished eating Teddy and I volunteered to clean everything up while Mrs. Jones helped my mother get Ryan and Blake ready for bed. Our mother had said that we would be able to watch a movie tonight after the younger kids were in bed and I had to admit I was looking forward to spending time with everyone.
It was just before eight when Mrs. Jones came down and thanked Teddy and I for dinner tonight. She really did feel like part of the family, but she also knew that she didn't want to overstay her welcome in case our father called to check in. A short while after she left our mother came down and sat on the couch while Teddy picked our feature presentation for the night. I was excited to start the movie when our mom's phone went off and we all knew that it could only be one person.
"Hey Christian." Our mom answered as she motioned that she would just be a minute.
"Want to take bets on how long it will actually take her?" Teddy asked, returning to the couch now that the movie was selected and ready to go.
"I just hope he doesn't get mad. He always gets mad when he goes out of town and we actually enjoy ourselves, it's like he doesn't want us to have fun when he is here or when he is gone. The man in a control freak." I said slumping into my seat.
"That's just him." Teddy said and we both fell into a silence while we waited for our mother's return, we were just hoping that it happened before we fell asleep.
I knew that Christian was due to call at any moment I was just hoping that we could start the movie before that happened. Of course just as I sat down the phone went off and I reluctantly took it mouthing to Phoebe that I would only be a moment, which was a lie.
"Hey Christian." I said as I walked into the other room, shutting the door behind me.
"Hey yourself. What is going on?" He asked as I settled into his desk chair.
"Nothing much. Blake and Ryan are in bed and Teddy, Fee, and I were going to watch a movie. I wish that you were here." I said and he let out a sigh.
"I know, I wish I was there too. You all see to be having fun though." He mentioned and I knew that I was now walking a thin line.
"Not as much fun as we would be having if you were here." I said trying to make him feel included.
"Yeah I'm sure." He huffed.
"What does that even mean Christian?" I asked, taking the more dangerous approach to his bad mood.
"Look all I am saying is that every time I go on a trip I call and you and the kids are having a great time and then when I return things turn to shit again. Why is it that I seem to be the problem Ana? I seem to be the reason you and the kids don't get along and when I am taken out of the situation you all seem fine." He barked while I rolled my eyes.
"Christian you are being-"
"What am I being Ana? You and I both know that if I were there right now we would not be sitting down and watching a movie. Our kids would be trying to stay as far away from me as possible." He said and I had to agree that he was probably right.
"Well what do you want me to do about that Christian. I can't force our kids to hang out with you and like the things that you enjoy. Our kids like spending time watching movies and just relaxing for a change while you like dressing up and going out to dinner. I'm sorry but they are kids not business associates."
"I'm sorry that I am such a bad father. This was one of the reasons I never wanted kids."
"I never said that. You are a wonderful father Christian so don't you dare go there. All I am saying is that it is okay to not control everything that your kids do, they might surprise you. Like today the kids got home and they planned the whole evening, all I had to do was say yes. I know that you have your issues with being out of control but if you can just give an ounce of freedom to those kids they will surprise you."
"Look I left the kids for long enough, I need to get back to them so we can start the movie. I will talk to you tomorrow when I am at your mother's house for our monthly lunch with the family. I love you Christian." I said before hanging up the phone.
I sat in Christian's chair for a moment to steady myself before I got up and placed my phone back in my pocket. For the rest of the night my attention was going to be on my kids and that was it. They needed that and in the past month or so Christian and I haven't been able to do that for them, it was time.
I could see Phoebe and Teddy instantly perk up as I walked back into the living room.
"Your dad sends his love. So lets get this movie started." I said as I sat between my two kids on the couch.
Half way through the movie I could feel Phoebe instantly get heavier as she fell asleep on my shoulder. I just moved my arm, bringing her head to lay on my chest while I tried my best to pull the blanket she had up so she was more covered. Teddy was able to stay up the entire movie and then he gently carried his sister up to her room. It was at the moment that I really missed Christian being around and he made me realize how little time we had left with Teddy and Phoebe. They weren't little kids anymore and that was breaking my heart. Time kept going on and I realized now how much I missed with the kids.
When they were little I was so focused on my work that I missed just being there for them. I missed getting to have these moments with my family, Christian, the kids, this was what we had missed.
"Crying won't make it better." I heard Christian say and I whipped around to see him leaning on the wall behind me.
"When- How?" I stuttered, tripping over the words in my head.
"After I got off the phone with you I realized that the only place I should be right now is with my family. I need to make an effort to just be present with the kids and let things happen. That's what you said right?" He asking, moving over to the couch to take a seat next to me.
"Yeah. But your meeting." I said and he shrugged.
"I've trained some of the best people in the business, if they can't handle the meeting on their own then I need to start looking at hiring better people." He said before placing a small kiss on my head.
"I just can't believe that Teddy goes off to college at the end of the year. I don't know how I missed so much of his life, of both of their lives. Our little girl is sixteen Christian, when did she get so old?" I asked and he let out a long sigh.
"I was asking myself the same thing on the drive here. It doesn't help that we had them so young, we were just getting settled ourselves when we added those two to the mix. I just wish that we took the time to appreciate them more when they were little." Christian said and I laughed.
"I remember the first time you held Teddy, you were so bad at it." I said and he let out a small laugh.
"I just didn't want to break him. I swore up and down that he was going to hate me and then he just snuggled into my arms and I melted. He took away a lot of my fears when he was born and then by the time Phoebe came I was done. She was the sweetest little baby ever. I swear she never once cried."
"Just little whimpers every once and a while. She was the best baby, so unlike Blake who cried for just about the entire first year."
"I thought I was going to lose it with him, he was the one who made me re-think the whole kids thing." Christian said and I sighed.
"I know that we are having another little girl and I should be thrilled but I am just scared that I won't be a good mom. I was young when we had Phoebe and I was able to relate to her a lot better than I am going to be able to relate to this one. I'm not going to be the cool young mom anymore. I just don't want to let her down." I said looking into Christian's eyes.
"I feel the same way, I've felt the same way with the last two actually. I'm getting older and I am letting things slide more. The whole Elena thing showed me just how much I have let go and the only people that is hurting is my family. By the time this new one is Phoebe's age I will be sixteen years older and I can tell you know I will not be at threatening to her boyfriends as I am to Phoebe's. What then? How am I going to protect her?" Christian asked and I shrugged.
"We are going to have to do the best we can, and I'm sure that Teddy will help. In sixteen years I would love to see the boy who would dare mess with Teddy's little sister. I'm not too concerned about any one messing with her, she will be the youngest in a family of five, she has the safety thing pretty well covered. I just want to be able to keep up with them, you know?" I asked and he nodded.
"I know. Let's make a promise that after this one, we are done with kids." He said and I laughed.
"I think that is the same promise we made after Phoebe and we saw how that turned out." I said and he gave me a stern look.
"Well then you will just have to be extra careful like we were for many years after Phoebe. If I remember correctly we didn't have another child until someone started becoming more careless thinking that another child sounded nice." Christian mentioned and I sighed.
"But we love all of our kids." I added and he smiled.
"We do, but after this one I think we are pretty much done."
"I agree with that. So I think we should go check on all the kids and then head up to bed ourselves, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow and I know that I am exhausted."
"Go ahead to bed, I'll check on the kids." Christian said and I gave him a look.
"Are you sure?" I asked and he nodded.
"I'm certain." He said getting up and then pulling me to my feet.
"As long as you're sure." I said, giving him once more chance to change his mind.
"I'll be in bed in a few moments." He said giving me a kiss and then sending me on my way.
I waited for Ana to leave before I followed her up the stairs, stopping first at Bake's room. He was wrapped in his blankets resting peacefully with his mouth wide open and his hair all over the place. I couldn't help but laugh as I smoothed his hair out and planted a kiss on his head before moving on to Ryan's room. Ryan was fast asleep with his covers kicked off to the side of the bed. I gathered as much of his blankets as possible and laid them gently on top of him before giving him a kiss and checking on Teddy and then on Phoebe.
When I made my way into Phoebe's room I took a seat on the edge of her bed and moved a few stray hairs out of her face. She stirred a little bit before her eyes fluttered open.
"Daddy?" She asked and I gave her a small smile.
"Go back to sleep princess, I didn't mean to wake you." I gently said and she nodded.
"Okay, I love you." She muttered as she placed her head back down on her pillow and shut her eyes once again.
"I love you too princess and I am so sorry for saying those awful things yesterday. I never meant them and I can't wait for you to work with me." I said before placing a kiss on her forehead and then I just sat still for a moment and watched her sleep.
"I thought you were coming to bed?" Ana asked from the doorway and I looked up with a small smile.
"Sorry, I am I just-"
"It happens to me too. She is going to be fine Christian and she will forgive you. I think you forget how like you she is. She reacts the way she does to protect herself from getting hurt just like someone else we both know. Phoebe is going to be just fine, but you will not be if you don't come to bed and get some sleep." Ana said and I nodded.
"Let's go Mrs. Grey." I said as I got up and took her hand leading her towards our bedroom.
She was right, our kids were going to be just fine and that was all thanks to her. I know that she felt bad for not always being there for them but even that made the kids stronger than she even knows. Ana was the reason that we had such great kids and it was now my job to make sure that no one dared fuck that up before we could get all five of them out the door for college, which meant that Elena Fucking Lincoln was going down and I was going to see to that myself. I didn't care what people thought of me anymore, when it came to my kids and my daughter, no one and I mean absolutely no one other than me and Ana were going to fuck with them!
A/n: so I finally found my way back to this story. I can't say when there will be another update, but hopefully some time soon.