It was hot. Like, boiling hot. Like, so-hot-you-could-fry-an-egg-on-the-pavement hot. Dib dragged his feet as he walked to the skool, fanning himself with a sheaf of random papers pulled out from his backpack. "Gaz….Gaz it's so hot…help…." he whimpered, the skool in the distance seeming like miles away, when in reality, it was only another minute's walk.
"Rngghh." His sister growled back, unaffected by the heat and playing her Gameslave 3, pointedly ignoring Dib. "Brain…frying….energy…pooped…" Dib managed, flapping the papers weakly in an attempt to cool himself off. The stifling gust of wind that blew across his face didn't feel as refreshing as he wanted, and all hope would have been lost if Dib hadn't looked up and spotted the stairs approaching. "Finally!" He yelled, rushing up the gray stone steps and through the double doors, and into the air conditioned hallways. "Salvatiiiioooon!" he exalted, but froze in horror as a snake-like rattle was heard from behind him.
"When I was your age," Ms. Bitters began, squinting at him through her cloudy spectacles while leaning over his shoulder "I used to love summer. I would skip through the town with glee, my little heart filled to imploding- I mean, exploding- with joy; because summer meant the beach. But then," here Dib's teacher stopped, and drew closer to his ear menacingly "I had my leg torn off by a shark! And so, Dib, you are right to hate summertime- because it brings nothing but doom. Doom, doom, doooom…" Ms. Bitters continued, repeating her favorite word as she hovered in a cloud of shadows back to the classroom, glaring at Dib the entire way. Dib made a disturbed face at where her legs would be if the cloud of darkness didn't obscure them.
"But, I've seen her legs before…." He trailed off, scratching his head. But before he could head into the classroom at the sound of the bell resounding through the skool, his face became intimately familiar with a locker.
"You are in Zim's way, pathetic pig-dirt!" his nemesis proclaimed at the top of his lungs as he marched into the classroom ahead of Dib.
"Why you…! You ugly space monster!" Dib screamed back, peeling his head off the locker and darting into the classroom after him. Zim was seated at his desk, twiddling his thumbs and whistling innocently as Dib pointed at him dramatically and fumed.
"Yes, Dib?" Zim asked, and grinned devilishly as Dib deflated and merely sent him a death glare before trudging to his seat.
"It's too hot out to deal with you today." Dib grumbled, looking at his enemy from across the front row of seats as other student began to filter in. Peering closer, he noticed that Zim's eyelids drooped and his false hair was frizzed up slightly due to the heat and humidity. "At least the heat gets to him too…" Dib thought, glancing to the front of the room as the late bell rang and Ms. Bitters took roll. "Morla..? Torque…? Willy…? Melvin…?" His creepy instructor called out, marking attendance according to the weak "here's" that eked out from the sun exhausted students.
"Horrible, you're all here today. Just horrible. I was hoping at least some of you would stay home so I wouldn't have to look at your worthless faces." Ms. Bitters growled, looking over the classroom. "Now that you're all here and quiet, I have an announcement. In order to reduce misery-induced suicide rates among the student body, the principal has ordered the next three days to be a field trip retreat-to the awful, doom-filled beach."
At this the students of the class perked up immediately and cheered, monkey noises and paper balls being thrown around the room. Dib grinned evilly, looking at his alien enemy's face, which was currently scrunched into a look of confusion.
"What's the matter Zim, never been to a beach before?" he taunted.
Zim's purple irises snapped to Dib as he replied "Of course I have, pig-monkey! I…. I love the beech! Because I am NORMAL!"he lied, noticing a few stares being sent his way at Dib's question. The rest of the students seemed satisfied with the typical answer, and resumed talking, oblivious to the heated glare being exchanged between the two outcasts of the class.
"Don't forget your sunscreen or you will surely die a horrible, painful, burnt death.' Ms. Bitters warned flatly. "Now pay attention! Today's lecture concerns rising sea levels due to the melting ice caps- and how this will cause the Earth to eventually implode in on itself!"
"Hey Zim!" the Irken heard Dib yell as he walked down the steps of the skool. The thermometer on the wall had broken because of the heat, and a security guard was shooing away all the children who were amusing themselves by playing with the deadly, brain-destroying mercury.
"What, Dib-worm?" Zim asked over his shoulder, never breaking his stride on his way home. If the Dib wished to annoy him, he would have to walk after him in this oppressive heat in order to do so. Apparently Dib thought better of making his walk any longer than it had to be, and settled for calling out to the alien "I wouldn't forget my paste if I were you, space boy! You're going to just love the beach. "
The bug Dib had unwittingly panted in Zim's ear continued to itch at him the entire way home. Kicking down the door to his house angrily, Zim stomped straight to the trash chute, shedding his disguise before he was even halfway there.
"Gir!" He screamed, tapping his foot and waiting for a response. A gray and blue blur fell through a gap in the tubes and wires of the ceiling, and hit the floor with a resounding "Clang!"
"Yes, my lord!" The robot answered, flickering red and saluting from his place on the ground.
"What were you doing in my ceiling….? Well, whatever. Fix that door." Zim commanded, lowering himself down into his personal labs. Gir's maniacal voice screeching "Fixing! FIXIIINNNNG!" grew fainter as the elevator brought him down farther into the depths of the Earth. So deep down, that if you lived down here people would call you "Deepy". At last he stepped off the platform, and walked down the side hallway to his one-person pod computer room. Settling into the odd padded chair, he clicked a few things on the monitor. "Computer," he requested, "give to Zim any and all data you have concerning this…."beech" of the humans."
"Uhhh…." The voice droned. "Well, uh, I don't have a lot of information on it, but I do know a couple of things from having to listen to Gir's TV all day long. The beach is where humans go to relax and have fun, usually when it's hot out." A picture of two stink-beasts wearing no shirts and strange, baggy shorts lying under an umbrella flashed on the monitor. "It's nothing but sand really, but what the humans really like about them is that they border oceans. People go to beaches to play in the water and swim, Zim. Not the sort of place you'd want to go." A picture of the ocean now popped up, causing Zim to wince at all the endless blue.
"But, I must! If I do not go with the others to this "beech", they will think I'm abnormal! Computer! Tell me about the things one brings to a beach, and the normal human-ish items one would bring when sleeping in a strange location- a "beech house," Ms. Bitters called it."
The next few hours were spent with Zim shoving random paraphernalia into his russet colored bag at his computer's advice. "Alright computer, I've packed the "Gogulls" and "Pajamas" like you said. Now all that's left are the paste bottles. So much paste will I need…"