"This is our song"
As the song around the camp fire ended Brown engulfed Shane and I in a hug, thanking us for what we had done. Even though we had lost Camp Wars to Camp Star, we had gained pride in ourselves because now people from Camp Star want to come here next summer. For the rest of the night, we sat around the campfire enjoying everybody's company as tomorrow camp would be over. I would have to say goodbye to my friends, tomorrow I would have to say goodbye to him, Shane, but I am trying not to think about that right now.
Shane and I were sitting on a log, one of his arms wrapped around my waist keeping me close to him and his hand intertwined with mine resting on my lap. Every now and then, he would place kisses in my hair. Out of the corner of my eye, I couldn't help but notice that when Nate got up to hug Dana, Caitlyn's smile disappeared. I would have to ask her about the later. At around 11:00 pm Brown called it a night.
"Everyone from Camp Star please go back to your campsite, I hope that you had fun this summer and congrats on the win." He stated.
As the campers from Camp Star began to leave, I walked over to my parents who were getting ready to head back to my mom's cabin.
"Hey mama, hey daddy," I said as I approached them.
"Hey Mitchie," My mom said.
"Hey Mitch," My dad said pulling me to him for a hug. "Sorry that you didn't win."
My stepdad, Steve had come to watch me perform at Final Jam and he was spending the night here before going back in the morning because he had to run the shop.
"But I did win; I won the best summer thanks to you guys."
"We love you Mitchie." My parents said bringing me into another hug before letting me go.
"I love you too." And with that, I went to go look for Shane but I found Caitlyn instead.
"Hey Caitlyn," I said as I walked up to her.
"Hi Mitchie," She said back.
"So Cait I have a question for you."
"Yes. So do you by any chance like Nate?"
"Guess who?" Shane asked interrupting the conversation Caitlyn and I were having, while putting his hands over my eyes so that I couldn't see him.
"Um Jason?" I asked just to tease him.
He dropped his hands off my face.
"That's not even funny Mitch," He said pouting, "plus I sound nothing like Jason."
"Oh come on I was just kidding, Popstar," I giggled.
He raised his hands over his head and said, "Rockstar Mitchie, Rockstar."
"Overdramatic much, Gray?" Caitlyn asked.
"Shut up Gellar," He said as he rested his chin on my head and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Whatever," Caitlyn said ticking out her tongue.
"How 'bout a canoe ride?" Shane whispered into my ear, sending chills down my spine.
"Well I won't wait up for you Mitchie," She winked at me, "Have fun."
With that, Shane and I walked hand and hand down to the docks. When we got there, Shane flipped over the canoe so that we could get in and then he helped me in.
"Maybe we can go straight this time." I teased.
"Going straight in overrated, plus going in circles takes longer, which means more time with you."
Great, now I'm probably blushing like crazy. Of course he would notice the effect that he has on me.
"Don't be embarrassed, you're cute when you blush."
I looked away from him then rest of the way and soon enough we were in the middle of the lake. Shane broke the silence when he said "Mitchie I meant what said about getting to know you. You are amazing, talent and beautiful."
There was a brief silence before someone spoke again.
"Shane, what is going to happen between us this year?"
"Well" he started "I'm going to see you as much as possible, you are my girlfriend after all, he said with a smirk. And with that he leaned down and captured my lips with his in a passionate kiss. When we pulled away a couple minutes later and looked into each other eyes, I knew that I could spend forever in the arms of Shane Gray. We then laid down in the canoe, my head on his chest and his arms wrapped around me.
"It's beautiful out here," I spoke a few minutes later.
"You're beautiful," Shane stated, looking down at me.
"Hmm so I've got a cheesy Popstar."
"It might be cheesy Mitchie, but it's true. You are the most beautiful girl that I have ever met. I mean it Mitch."
I looked into his eyes and pulled his face to mine and kissed him with everything I had. He responded quickly to the kiss and kissed me back so passionately that I thought the canoe was going to tip over. He rolled over so that he was on his side like me and rested one of his hands in my hair and the other on my hip. I put my hands in his hair, pulling myself closer to him. About five minutes later we pulled apart breathlessly.
"I've been waiting a year to kiss you Mitchie Torres and kissing you for the third time today, has been everything that I ever dreamed of."
That was the last thing I remembered before sleep took over. When I woke up the next morning I found myself in my bed and there was a sticky note on my nightstand.
'Mitchie, it read, you fell asleep last night and you looked to adorable to wake. Don't worry, none of your cabin mates were up when I brought you back. I hope that you slept and I will see you in the morning.
"Look guys she is blushing!" Ella exclaimed as she was me reading the note.
"Well your finally up, we were debating whether or not to let you sleep," Caitlyn spoke next.
"So where were you last night, we tried staying up for you but you were taking too long," Ella said.
"Sleepy head over here was out with Shane last night," smirked Caitlyn.
"Ooh do tell us the details," Peggy said.
"You guys really are obsessed," I laughed and then I told them about my wonderful night because they were going to keep asking until I told them.
"Aw sweet story…can we eat breakfast now?" Caitlyn asked.
"Caitlyn all you think about is food, how are you so skinny?" asked Peggy.
"High metabolism… can we eat now, I'm starved?
Once we got to the mess hall, we spotted Shane, Nate and Jason all in the back with their plates all piled with food. We got in line to get food and say hi to my mom before joining the boys.
"Hey Mitch," Shane said as I sat down next to him.
"Wow Mitchie, you barely have any food on your plate," Jason pointed out while looking at my plate that consisted of one pancake, two pieces of bacon and an apple.
"Yeah, Mitchie that is like not enough food," Caitlyn said while stuffing her mouth with food.
"I'm just not that hungry," I lied while looking at my food, feeling uncomfortable with everyone staring at me.
After that I quickly finished my food without talking to anyone. I could feel Shane's eyes on me though making me even more uncomfortable but I refused to meet his gaze. When I did look up however, he had a worried expression in his eyes.
"I'm fine, Shane," I whispered.
I then turned back to the table.
"Um well I'm going to go get dressed, I will see you boys later and girls I will see you in the cabin," I stated getting up and grabbing my plate.
There were a chorus of oks and I went to turn and leave my Shane grabbed my hand.
"Are you sure you are alright?" he whispered.
"Yeah," I said back just as quietly before pecking him on the lips and heading off.
I was so lost in my thoughts on my way back that I almost didn't realize when I was near my cabin. As soon as I walked inside I made a mad dash to the bathroom, knelt down on my knees, opened the toilet lid and threw up. Then I cried. I flushed the toilet, leaned against the wall and just cried. There isn't a lot of alone time I get around here and I really needed to just cry. I pulled my knees to my chest and let it all out. Cried for all the pain I feel, cried for the loneliness I feel, cried because no one understands me and cried for everything that is wrong in my life. I sat crying on the floor for a good fifteen minutes but then realized that the girls would be back so I got up and decided to take a shower. I was going through my suitcase to find clothes to wear when I came across my best friend…my razor. I quickly grabbed everything I needed and went back into the bathroom and locked the door in case the girls came back. I turned on the shower, undressed and stood in front of the mirror looking at every flaw that my body has. Still crying, I very slowly picked up the razor and slid it across my left wrist wincing as the blade scraped across my skin, matching the other cuts along my wrist. I created two new lines before doing the same thing to my right wrist. I then watched the blood trickle to my hands before I took the razor and made a cut along the left side on my waist and then cutting right under my right breast. Feeling accomplished, I got into the shower and watched the blood go down the drain and I was no longer crying because of the emotional pain but from the physical pain that I had control over.
I took a quick shower so that it wouldn't look like I had been in here forever. I hurriedly got dressed and slipped on thick bracelets so that my cuts were hidden and walked out of the bathroom, with my razor hidden. I put on the fake smile that hides my pain and packed all my stuff.
"You alright Mitchie?" Caitlyn asked.
"Yeah, I just needed a hot shower," I said letting another lie slip from my lips.
Once I was finished, I went to help my parents pack the kitchen. I walked back to the mess hall in pain from all the harm I've done but its better, I thought, I can stop anytime I want to.
"Hi mom, hi daddy," I said upon entering the kitchen.
"Hello sweetheart," my parents replied.
My dad stayed and helped for s little bit until he had to leave so he could get back to the shop. He kissed my mom goodbye then came over to me and kissed my forehead.
"Goodbye daddy, I love you."
"Love you too Mitchie."
He may not be my biological father but that doesn't matter to me, he is always here for me.
All too soon, it was time to go. Everyone was gathered together saying goodbye. Caitlyn, Peggy, Ella, Baron, Sander, Connect 3 and I were all crowded around each other. When it was time for Caitlyn to leave, she engulfed me in a huge hug and said that she would call me as soon as she got home. I hugged Nate and Jason respectively before going over to Shane.
"Hey it's not goodbye baby," Shane said, taking me in his arms noticing that I had tears in my eyes.
"I know I'm overreacting."
"No you're not, you're just going to miss me," He stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Jerk," I mumbled in his chest causing him to snicker, "I'm going to miss you so much."
"I'm going to miss you like crazy Mitch, but I promise that I'll see you as much as I can. Right now we are in the writing stage for our album which means I will be able to see you more. Plus you live in New Jersey and I live in New York so it isn't that long of I drive"
All I did was nod my head and he pulled me even closer to him. He lifted my chin up so that I was looking at him and he crashed his lips onto mine. We put everything we had it that kiss, as we didn't know when we would say each other again. He ran his hands through my hair while my hands rested in his. He broke away from the kiss and smiled at me and we just stayed in that position until my mom came over.
"Let's go Mitchie," My mom said coming over to where Shane and I were. "Shane, remember you are welcome over at any time."
"Thanks Mrs. Torres."
"Shane, call me Connie, well I'll let you two have five more minutes," My mom said walking over to the van.
"I'm going to miss you like crazy Popstar."
"Mitch, I'm going to miss you too."
With one last kiss, Shane walked me over to my mom's van and helped me get in. He kissed my check but didn't say goodbye, closed the door and my mom and I were on our way home." No more than twenty seconds later, I felt my phone vibrate. 'I miss you, your Popstar ;) I texted him back and said 'I miss you too, Rockstar '. I really did already miss him.