The TARDIS materialized in a forest. The sky was overcast, and the sun didn't look like it knew how to shine in this part of the world, where things were wet and rainy and depressing all the time. Sort of like a song by Morrissey, but not. Rose and the Doctor stepped outside and had a look around.

"Forks, Washington," the Doctor said, walking a distance from the TARDIS with his hands in his pockets. "Rainiest place in the United States, or so they say. Not far from here is a Quileute reservation, and a beach called La Push, which sounds like the name of a bad French-Canadian disco group from the 1970s."

"Boy," Rose said leaning against the tardis doors. "If I were an awkward, clumsy but beautiful emo girl from Arizona, I'd be miserable if I had to move here because my mom was marrying a minor league baseball player and I wanted them to have some alone time together."

"Me too," the Doctor said. He turned to Rose with a smile. "You smell that? Take a whiff of the air."

Rose smelled. "Yuk! What is that?"

The Doctor sniffed the air again. "Noxema, cheap drugstore fragrance and pheromones. The unmistakable odor of teen angst. The air is thick with it. There must be a high school nearby. Tardis brought us here for some reason, let's go find out what it is." he offered her his hand and she gratefully clasped it gratefully, and they walked along the wooded path together for quite some time. It was a beautiful place, if a bit damp, and Rose thought she could be very happy living here, if only she could find the right man to make her life complete…as soon as humanly possible, because she was beginning to feel that her life lacked meaning or importance because there was no official man in it. After all, what is a woman without a man? Nothing, really.

She was just starting to think she'd better crumple to the dirt and have a long lie-down in the leaves over her lack of man-support when a fast-moving blur knocked her to the ground and the Doctor disappeared.

"DOCTOR!" Rose shouted, getting to her feet. The forest was silent, except for the sound of a struggle in the distance. She ran toward the sounds and found the Doctor pinned beneath the most handsome man Rose had ever seen since looking at the Doctor. He was pale and so handsome Rose could hardly believe her eyes. He was beautiful. He was also biting the Doctor on the neck and drinking his blood. The Doctor cried out in pain and tried to force the incredibly handsome, tousle-haired man-beauty off of him. Rose wished she was in the Doctor's position, except for the biting and the bleeding.

"Get off of him!" She cried, but did nothing to stop the attack because that was what women in this universe were supposed to do. After a moment, she remembered herself and picked up a branch and swung it, striking the angelic killer upside the head. He turned towards her, snarling, and lunged. Rose realized she was going to die at the hands of an angel-faced monster.

"Rose!" the Doctor cried from his spot on the ground. He was clutching the side of his neck, trying to staunch the bleeding, when the poison hit his bloodstream. He roared with agony and began twisting and wrything in the dirt, helpless to save her. Which was bad because Rose was essentially helpless as well, thanks to her having a vagina.

But then, her gorgeous attacker paused. His incredibly beautiful eyes turned to the southeast and he sniffed the air with his perfect nose. As Rose watched, his eyes turned from red to yellow, making him look even more exotically pretty.

"Spider monkey," he whispered, and disappeared into the trees.

Rose ran to the Doctor's side and grabbed his hand. He was still in the throws of agony and didn't react to her presence. He bucked and twitched, grinding his teeth and shivering as the poison worked its cruel work. After what felt to Rose like a thousand years, he stilled. His hand felt like a snow cone shaped like a hand in hers, and his sweat was like droplets of ice spilling onto the forest floor. He sat up like he was spring-loaded and looked right through her.

"Rose, the Doctor gasped. "My entire biological makeup has shifted. Look at me what do you see?"

Rose sat back stunned. "You're so pail." She touched his cheek and the Doctor took a deep breath through his nose, smelling her hungrily. "You're skin is ice cold, colder than it usually is." She gasped. "Your eyes! They've changed color from luscious brown to…blood red."

As they stared at one another, the sun broke through the clouds and a beam of light hit the Doctor. Wherever the sunlight touched his skin sparkled and twinkled like he was covered in spray glitter.

"It looks like your made out of diamonds," Rose breathed, reaching out to touch him. "You're beautiful."

"No," he said, taking another deep sniff of her. "I'm a predator now. I've moved to the top of the food chain, Rose. And I want to eat you in ways I've not wanted to do before. Do you know what I am now?"

She swallowed. "I do."

"Say it! He demanded."


"Vampire Time Lord," he corrected.

He and Rose looked at one another the way people do when something spooky has just happened.