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Hey, so please don't hate me.
I have reasons for no update.
1. I've had exams
2. I moved town
3. I'm in a harder school year
4. I've been having major issues with RL
5. I just haven't had the inspiration.
So I'm so so so so sorry. But I will be writing again, but the updates wont be regular. They will simply be when I have time. And I'm sorry its short.
Also I'm known as ItCan'tRainForever now. So its still me!
Im so sorry L
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot
I stared at Carlisle in complete and utter shock.
I felt like, in that one moment, my whole world had come crashing down.
It wasn't that he was dead, to be honest I couldn't care if he was face down lying in a ditch, but how could we be suspects?
"W-what?" I stuttered.
"How the hell could it have been us? We were at the hospital! There's CCTV and everything!" Rosalie stated bravely.
To an outsider, she was the perfect collection of peace, but Ali and I knew this was just the calm before the storm.
"It could have been anyone! James had tonnes of enemy's! There's plenty of people that would be glad to see him dead, more than half of his associates had the power to either kill him their self's or hire outside help." Alice piped up.
She was right, there was tonnes of people who wouldn't have minded if James was six-feet-under. Drug dealers, addicts who he wouldn't sell to, families that he had hurt; he had been involved in a lot of dodgy business.
"We all know that Alice, but, the police said that James was killed sometime between 8am and 10am. You didn't arrive at the hospital till 10:30am, so the police think you have enough reason to try and murder him, and your whereabouts were also unknown at that time slot." Carlisle said gently as Rosalie hugged Alice tight, whispering `It'll be okay` into her ear.
"We can talk about this tomorrow Carlisle, the girls need something to eat and then need time to settle in" Esme smiled gently, as if we hadn't all just been told we were murder suspects "Tanya? Jess? Can you make up their beds and show the girls to their room's while I get dinner ready? Okay so the rooms need to be swapped a bit. Emily? Would you like to move out of the 13-15 and in with Carmen? It'll give you some practice for when you're really living together?" Esme asked.
The two girls chorused `Yes! ` And high fived each other.
"And can Rose go with you two as well? She'll be sixteen in a few months. Is that okay Rose?" Esme continued as rose shook her head yes enthusiastically "Okay so Emily, Carmen and Rose in room 5, Alice? You'll be with Kate, Bree and Leah, okay?" Esme checked before continuing as Alice said yes with a smile "In room 3, Bella? You'll be sharing with Tanya, Jess and Angela okay?"
"Yep." I said, forcing a smile, I really didn't want to share with Tanya the bitch.
"That's settled then! So everyone go to their rooms and get ready. Please help your new roommates unpack. Also don't come out your rooms till dinner because Carlisle and I have some important issues to discuss. Okay?" Esme shouted as all the girls rushed to go unpack and surely gossip about the new arrivals.
"You can have your check-ups in an hour or so girls, it's been a rough day, go relax for a while There's a games room upstairs if you're bored, and a library next to it." Esme smiled kindly.
"Thanks" I muttered as I dragged Alice and Rose up the mahogany stairs. I pulled them up the hall and saw a door marked 'Library' and dragged them inside.
The room was very peaceful looking. Pictures of nature and pass residents littered the wall. Books lay open, dog-eared to keep someone's page. A medical journal lay turned over on a desk, who I assumed was Carlisle. A lone plant stood at the door, next to a very delicate looking crystal vase with fresh lilies in it.
Luckily, the library was empty. Rose pushed Ali and I towards one of the wooden desks and we all sat on the matching chairs. It was silent for a moment, before I looked at Ali, and saw silent tears streaming down her face.
"Oh Alice" I whispered as I hugged her. She sobbed into my shoulder as Rose watched my feeble attempt at trying to console her. I sometimes forgot how young we all really were. We shouldn't be in this situation, no one should.
"What are we going to do?" She sobbed "I can't go to Juvie! I just can't!" We all knew how she felt. A girl we had met, Senna, had been to Juvie.
"It was a horrible place" She had said "The people who are there are fucked up. I only went because I had done GBH on a customer cause he wouldn't give me my E's. What was I supposed to do? Let him get away with it?"
Senna had been a stripper at the local lap dancing club James had made us work at. She was seventeen but had been on the streets since she was fourteen. At 15, she stabbed her dealer because he refused to give her more ecstasy until she paid. She said the proper name was Juvenile Detention, and that it was basically a prison for young offenders.
"Shh. Calm down." I murmured. "They're not gonna put us away! We haven't done anything!" I groaned in frustration when I saw Roses face.
"Rose?" I asked warily, afraid of the answer. She just gave me a look that said "Don't. Just don't."
She just stared at me, unmoving, until I asked again. "Rose, you didn't?" I shouted.
She snapped out of her haze and looked right into my eyes, her blue eyes piercing through me.
"Shut up you stupid bitch! Do you want them to hear us!?" She hissed.
"Well what do you expect me to say? Well done Rose! You've just landed us all in prison, but its okay, I'll still support you? What the fuck Rose?!" I yelled lowly.
"Guys! Seriously! What the fuck are you talking about here?" Alice asked.
I stared at Rose "You did it didn't you? You killed him?" I accused her.
Realisation dawned on her, and she started shaking her head. "No! Of course not! You know me Bells! I could never kill anyone!" She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose "This morning, before you two were awake, I went to see him. I told him I was done, that there was no way in hell that I was doing this anymore. He lunged for me, and split my lip,so I dug my nails into his face and scratched him. He was alive when I left." She muttered at the end.
Relief washed over me, then anger. "How could you have been so stupid Rose? Your DNA will be all over him!" I whisper-yelled.
"Don't you think I know that! Don't you think that's why I'm absolutely freakin' petrified. They'll do a post-mortem and realise my blood is on his wound! Then I'll be sent down! Don't you think I know that Bella?" she was crying uncontrollably now.
I realised then what I had done. My best friends were in pieces and all I cared about was not being sent down. "I'm so sorry" I wailed quietly as I hugged them both. Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Esme entered the room.
She smiled gently at us as she approached us. I quickly wiped away my tears and motioned for Alice and Rose to do the same, even though I knew Esme had seen, I didn't want her to ask.
"Girls it's time for your check-up. Who would like to go first? I'll be present throughout remember." Esme said gently. I said I would go so I hugged Rose and Alice, who were away to get settled.
I followed Esme through the corridor, except we went in the opposite direction we came in from. She knocked gently on a mahogany door and I heard a quiet "Come in".
We entered the room. It looked like a hospital room, with numerous machines and wires floating about, but had a much homier feel to it. The walls were a peach shade, instead of the sterile white most hospitals owned.
Carlisle was standing in the centre of the room next to a hospital bed. He approached us as he snapped on a pair of disposable gloved. He motioned for me to follow him and asked me to lie down on the bed. He then proceeded to explain what type of tests and examination the check-up would contain.
"We'll do a blood test and then I'll check for any external injuries" when I nodded, he asked me if I was in any pain, so I replied no without hesitation. He then asked me to roll up my sleeves, but I crossed my arms.
"No." I snapped "anything but that." He looked at me warily, before sitting down on the bed. Esme brought a chair over and sat next to me. "Bella, if its bruises you're worried about, I can assure you I have seen it all, the same goes for track marks. I'm not stupid, I've worked as a doctor for a long time, I've seen it all before." He said. My arms loosened slightly, which allowed him to gently grasp them apart and roll up my sleeves.
"Oh Bella" I heard Esme whisper. I immediately knew why, and I yanked down my sleeves with as much force as I could. "See! I told you!" I said, my voice quivering, a lump rising in my throat. I pushed it back though, and attempted to steady my voice. "I knew you'd be horrified. I knew it. I should just leave." I started to sit up and get off the bed, but Esme grabbed me, she wrapped her arms around me, and- hugged me?
I didn't fight back, instead I just collapsed into her arms, sobbing into her shoulder as Alice had done to me minutes before.
Once I had calmed down, Esme lowered me to the bed.
"Bella" Carlisle began "I have to examine them, and I'm not horrified." I looked at him in shock, searching his face for any trace of a lie, but there was none. "W-what? You mean it?" I asked.
"Yes. Of course. Bella, self-harming cannot be ignored. We can give you help, you can stop." I nodded furiously "Okay good. First though, I have to check for infection okay?" When I nodded, he rolled my sleeves back up and began examining my arms.
They were littered with cuts and bruises. The bruises were from when a client got too rough, and track marks from the needles I had used to inject. There were also many cuts criss-crossing over my arms, from the too many times I had sliced a razor into my skin, intentionally.
While Carlisle cleaned the cuts, Esme held my hand and called my name softly. When I looked at her, she started speaking.
"When I was fifteen, I was in a relationship with a boy. He was five years older than me, and at that time I thought it was great. I had a boyfriend, who could also get me into grown-up clubs. I was so happy, for a while. Soon though, he started hitting me, he told me if I told anyone, he'd kill me, and I didn't doubt for a second that he was lying. I began cutting, it was my only escape. I told people at school it was my cat, even though the only pet I ever owned was a goldfish" She laughed bitterly "We can help you Bella. Only if you want to be helped."
I nodded. "I told you. I wanted out. I need out. I can't live like this anymore."
I know darling. I know." she stepped closer to me and hugged me while I cried.
An hour later, I was up in my room. Angela had kindly given me a black tee and dark jeans; with a hoodie and converse as the clothes I was in I had had for months, and was filthy. I thanked her profusely, but she said it was nothing. We were quiet for a few minutes, and then Angela broke the silence.
"Look. Bella, I know what it's like. To feel like you have no one-"
"I have someone" I snapped "I have Rose and Alice."
She jerked back for a moment, surprised by my rash tone, then slowly reached back over.
"I know you do. I just mean that if you ever need to talk to anyone- besides Rose or Alice- then I'm here."
"Thank you" I sighed. "And I'm sorry for snapping" she just nodded and pulled me in for a hug.
"C'mon. Let's go grab dinner, then we can go to the games room and play with the others. Kay?"
She held out her hand. "C'mon Bells. The boys'll be there."
And for some reason, I wanted to go.
I jumped up and giggled. Yes, Bella Swan giggled. "Alright. So Ang, tell me, are they taken?"
She threw her head back and laughed.
"c'mon. I'll race you downstairs"