R_S: So this is the first of a series of one-shots/drabbles, just written for shits n' giggles- shiggles. The stories will tend to primarily revolve around Darcy, because I'm obsessed with her and have made her into a hodge-podge of her and Kat Denning's other character, Max, from 2 Broke Girls. Pairings will mostly be featuring StevexDarcy, but there will definitely be others. If there are any continuations of one-shots at later dates, I'll make it uber clear.

So, enjoy =)


Captain America, Darcy Lewis, Agent Coulson

Very Slight StevexDarcy, Mentions of ThorxJane

The first time Darcy Lewis met Captain America, it was completely by accident. She had not worked for Jane in months, going on nearly a year at the time, and she was certainly in no way invited to be privy to the goings on at S.H.I.E.L.D. But, when strange men broke into her meager apartment and ransacked everything, searching through all her computer files and little techy gadgets like her IPod (seriously, what did people think they were going to find on there?), calling her old professor just seemed like the most logical course of action. After all, her big step up in the world was nothing more than getting hired as a gofer interning for a local councilwoman, so there was really only one thing that the thieves could have been looking for. It was a long-shot to even think that Dr. Foster would still have the same cell number after being whisked away to do top-secret work for an all-encompassing government organization, but it was all Darcy had to go on, so she took the long shot. There was no evidence to suggest that the number had ever belonged to the astrophysicist, but she left a message anyway.

"Hey Jan- Dr. Foster, it's Darcy, Darcy Lewis… long-time, no see!" a strained giggle here, "Yeah, so um, just thought I'd touch base with you, see how you were doing, catch up… and uh mention that you might wanna tell the Men in Black that someone broke into my apartment, and I think they were looking for some mementos of our glorious time together… wasn't really sure who else to call 'bout that. So, uh, yeah just get back to me and let me know how concerned I should be for my life. Miss you, boss… bye."

S.H.I.E.L.D. must have been monitoring the number, because she heard back almost the next day. Jane caringly assured her that agents were in the area and would be checking in on her as soon as possible. They had a surprisingly nice chat, too, her old boss seemingly starting to see her more as an adult entering the working world and less like a whiny child she just hired because she had to. And ok, Darcy could still be whiny and immature, but it was nice to be treated like she was a little more than that once in a while. It was part of why she liked working for the councilwoman so much, it was a place where she was taken seriously (mostly… some guys from other offices and the like still saw her as an attachment to the assets rather than the other way around). It was nice, feeling like she was talking to an old friend rather than an ex-professor or an old boss. They had never been supremely close, but they were close enough and certainly liked each other. At the very least, there was a begrudging respect for the two very different areas of expertise they each had. So the call lasted longer than expected, while the young intern picked at some Chinese take-out… while topless. It was a trick she had started not too long ago, an effort to avoid staining any more blouses, because she was an intern and could only afford so many forms of business attire. The girls were like magnets for, well, everything- t here were already a couple droplets of sauce in her cleavage. She guessed it was just part of their epic-ness.

Maybe there was a double agent in S.H.I.E.L.D. Darcy did not know- she never even pretended to be the Nikita spy type. Whether there was or not, though, someone found out that she was calling in back-up and was none too pleased, evidenced by the scream that cut her conversation with Jane short as someone smashed in her window. Exactly what happened was kind of a blur. After all, she was topless and sodium-loaded from sesame noodles when some guy came crashing through her window to throw her down and strangle her. She distinctly remembered thinking that there had to be classier ways to die and wondering how her death would affect the councilwoman's ongoing campaign for reelection, all while simultaneously bemoaning the distance between her and her beloved Taser. But she, and her attacker, underestimated Jane Foster's mama-bear instinct and the influence her freaking out could have, because sometime after she passed out but before she could die, some major ass-kicking had occurred… supposedly. The story came to her after the fact, in bits and pieces from various involved parties.

Steve Rogers was never meant to pay Darcy Lewis a visit and deliver said ass-kicking. In fact, S.H.I.E.L.D. was not even in the area to help her out or check in on her. After the call she made, Director Fury called Jane into an emergency meeting and pumped her for anything her big-mouthed intern might have known about the research, which was really not much. Anything she knew was from prior to S.H.I.E.L.D. funding when Jane was still associated with the university, so Darcy's threat to national security was slim to none. In light of that, the boss basically told her that his management policy with the situation would be to essentially ignore it, which did not go over particularly positively with Jane. Fury promptly refused her pleads that the organization at least monitors the girl for her safety. But where her influenced ended, Thor's surpassed. Hopping to him like a worried bunny was nothing particularly new, but asserting that his friend was in danger shifted the usual response from delicate reassurance to storming up to the powers that be and demanding the right to check on the girl himself, if they were going to insist on being useless. Obviously having an angry god of thunder stomping around was not a matter to be taken lightly, so Fury acquiesced. Rogers and Coulson would be around that week to meet with a handful of offices and departments that needed redirecting, and they would keep an eye out for the duration of the visit and look into things.

Darcy had never been a particularly lucky girl, but there was no other way to describe the timing of this particular near-death experience (she wondered if, by now, she should have been used to them, unfazed even). During an obligational drive-by to monitor the apartment following a press meeting between Coulson, Captain America, and an overstepping, manipulative councilwoman, they had noticed the broken window. Steve had been given the cold Fury run-down of this little side 'annoyance,' but he also got to hear Thor and Jane's account of the situation- an innocent, helpless young girl (and personal friend) in danger of attack due to more S.H.I.E.L.D. schemes and careless secrets like Phase Two. Thus, he leapt unhesitatingly into action and through the window. It took only moments for the attacker to be apprehended, and by the time Coulson burst in with gun at the ready, it was over. Darcy woke just as he finished the call for agents and a vehicle to transport the hostile. The first sight that welcomed her was Captain America standing over an unconscious (dead?) man dressed in black.

"I must've hit my head harder than I thought…" Her voice was raspy, strained from the pressure of a man's hands. Her neck was sore, and she was certain there would be some major marks tomorrow. The superhero was by her side in a flash, helping her up.

"Are you alright, ma'am?" She looked nervously up into his big, blue eyes and wasn't really sure how to respond, "Thor and Dr. Foster sent me."

"Wow, they sent Captain America for li'l ole me? I almost feel special." Her words still slurred somewhat. He sent her a friendly smile, trying to communicate that if she held the thunder god's trust then she held his, and brushed back his hood.

"Please, call me Steve… looks like we were here just in the nick of time." He reached for her neck, and when he looked down, he suddenly seemed to realize that she wasn't wearing a shirt. No matter how woozy she was, she would always be proud of her girls and the way they could even make a super-hero blush. It was kind of adorable that Captain America was so apple-pie he could be reduced to a nervous tween just at the sight of a nice set of twins.

She shot him a weak smile, "Yeah, thanks for that… I'm Darcy Lewis, by the way… but I guess you knew that if my friends sent you." Were they friends? She didn't know- her head hurt too much to dwell on it.

"Are you alright, Miss Lewis?" Coulson cut in, gently placing his suit jacket on her shoulders. The brunette looked up at him with recognition, and despite their muddled past, there was something comforting in his presence as well.

"Yes, thank you Agent… Agent. Good to see you again… well, not really, cuz this kinda sucks, but nothing personal." She couldn't remember his full name, and somehow even she wasn't snarky enough to call him 'Agent Coalminer' or 'Agent K' when he was being so nice to her. His expression was uncharacteristically warm for the usual superspy type, as though he generally felt sorry for what had happened to her, and she carefully slipped her arms into the sleeves.

"Agent Coulson, Miss Lewis. We have more personnel and medics coming to assist, but if you feel up to it, I can get your account now myself rather than handing it off." She knew she probably looked pretty pathetic, all banged up and scared, and Darcy made the decision to at least attempt to maintain her normal level of bad-assery. So she shrugged and nodded.

"If you would rather rest and await medical attention, Miss Lewis, it would be perfectly understandable." Steve cut in and guided her into the kitchen, seating her and shooting Coulson a look that clearly communicated his feelings that she was too delicate to be interrogated. It was chivalrous, cute even, but she was determined not to be a lame duck. She would always be kind of a joke when compared to an avenger, but at least she could minimize the embarrassment. When he delicately placed a glass of water on the table beside her, she knew she had to shake this hurt kitten thing… even if the guy doting on her was that pretty.

"Don't worry about it, Cap'n Crunch, I'll be fine. Fire away, Coulson." He looked confused but not offended, and he leaned against the wall not far from her as Coulson took a seat.

The older man smirked slightly but got straight to business, "Ok, why don't you start with a rundown of all the relevant information starting from the other night, when you first attempted to make contact with Dr. Foster."

"Ok… well, I came home from work and found my apartment had been broken into and kinda trashed. Someone definitely went through my stuff and didn't care where they threw it- which, by the way, is so stupid, because the mess is just going to make it harder for them to find things, but whatever. Nothing was taken, but they looked through my computer files too."

"How do you know?" he asked. She looked at him like he was stupid.

"Well, besides the fact that my browsing history was open? I checked the files through 'My Computer' and they had all been opened recently. Either they went through by hand or they copied everything onto a separate drive, which is a major violation of privacy."

"And what did the police say when you called them?"

"I didn't call the police. Nobody knows about this except for you and everyone else at Area 51." He and the captain shared a look, and he raised an expectant eyebrow.

"Why not?" Coulson asked.

"Well, they didn't steal anything from my sad collection of crap, and they were particularly interested the stuff on my computer, like files. It looks like they even went through my IPod." She sent him a pointed and annoyed look on that note, "I'm not exactly high-up on the food chain at work, so there was only one thing I was ever involved in that would get me into this kind of a mess. Going straight to S.H.I.E.L.D. seemed like the right call to make, but it's not exactly like you guys have a 1-800 number, so I tried Jane… Foster." Was she supposed to refer to her as Jane or Dr. Foster in this circumstance? So many questions, so few answers. Regardless, the men seemed pleased with this response, impressed even. Coulson nodded in approval.

"You did the right thing, Miss Lewis. That was very perceptive and shrewd decision making."

"Uh, thanks I guess…" In her head, Darcy bitterly noted that it obviously was not enough so to make her one of their employees, since a year ago they had made it exceedingly clear that she was not coming with Jane for the relocation. She took a sip of water and could not help but glance back at Captain America, who was looking at her discerningly. It made her shiver.

"So what happened tonight?" Coulson continued.

She gestured to the lump of guy in the corner, looking at him carefully, "Dude, you tell me." He wasn't swayed, though he did seem to find her somewhat amusing.

"I'm going to need a rundown of your version of the events for the official report."

"Well, there's not much to tell. I was only home for a few minutes before that guy kamikazed my window and went all Vulcan-death-grip on my neck. I must've passed out, cuz I woke up to you guys in my apartment."

"Sorry about that, ma'am." Captain America interjected, looking bashful. Showing up uninvited in a half-naked lady's home was not something he often made a habit of, regardless of the circumstance. Darcy sent him a tiny grin.

"There are worse things to wake up to." She liked that he blushed again.

"Is that all that happened?" Agent Coulson prodded.

"Yeah… I mean, I'm assuming he's the guy responsible for the other night, or one of them at least. I guess he was worried I'd say something so he tried to whack me like a mole."

"… And that's all?"

She couldn't help looking at him funny, "Um, yeah…" From behind her, the pretty blue eyes cleared his throat uncomfortably and just about glowed red under her confused gaze.

"Miss Lewis, ma'am, I think what Agent Coulson is getting at- I mean what he's trying to ask is-… well, given your state of undress beneath your assailant, you weren't put upon in any way, were you?" Her mouth jaw dropped, and Darcy was pretty sure she was just as red as the captain when their eyes met. She flipped around to Coulson to clarify.

"Oh, oh my god no! I took off my shirt, because I was eating one-handed and I have a special talent for getting food all over my boo-… self. This guy just wanted me dead, no sexy times- or at least all the sexy times would have been the post-mortem necrophilia type."

"… Okay then…" She gave both men credit for attempting to maintain professional given her rambling. Coulson was doing a significantly better job than his buddy.

"And why were you eating one-handed?"

"Oh, I was on the phone- with Dr. Foster, actually. She had called to see how I was after I got in contact with you. She said that you guys would be coming, actually… wow, it's actually like a crazy good thing this happened tonight, huh?" She looked a little more scared at that, and both men decided not to let her know that she was being monitored, though it certainly was a lucky turn of events as she turned to look at her assailant, making a mental note to call Jane back and assure her that she was, in fact, alive.

"Hey… I don't think he looked like that before…" They glance over, and sure enough the incapacitated attacker was hunched over in a different, though equally unnatural, position. Darcy found herself being gently pushed behind the bulky form of Captain America, his hood redrawn. Despite the tension of the situation, she took a good look at his ass, because really, how often was she going to be that close to such a nationally momentous body part? Coulson approached the corner cautiously, weapon drawn, and kneeled beside the man.

He paused before asking, "Did you kill him?"

"No sir," Steve answered, "I kept him alive for questioning." Before the answer was even finished, the agent was holstering his gun.

"Well, he's dead now." He tilted up the man's head, "Cyanide pill…" The implications of why a man would do that hung heavy in the air.

"Agent Coulson?" Steve asked, awaiting his next orders as Darcy peaked around his form. Coulson did not address him.

"The fact that you are alive tonight is alarmingly serendipitous, Miss Lewis. A debacle of this caliber does not usually occur under S.H.I.E.L.D. surveillance… it is gravely concerning." He glanced between the two of them, "Please excuse me; I have to make a call." Without asking, he stepped into Darcy's bedroom and shut the door, pausing only to nod to the other agents arriving on the scene. The apartment became a buzz of activity, neighbors poking their heads out to see what was going on only to be ushered back inside by government agents. Oh yeah, Darcy thought, she was going to get a lot of hand-delivered pies, lasagnas, muffin baskets… people were nosy but damn would she eat well this week.

"Ms. Lewis? Are you alright?" She turned back to the handsome blond man, his deep blue eyes clouded with concern. She must have spaced out for longer than she thought, because things were a lot more cleaned up than they had been, and some agents were even filing out with the body in tow. It was only under Steve's scrutinizing gaze that she realized she was crying, though she did not know why. With a gentle hand, she brushed them off her cheek, looking at the moisture on her fingertips in confusion. She was being a wounded kitten again, which was pathetic… though if he wanted to take her home and cuddle her like one, she would put up no fight.

The brunette shot him a watery grin, "All good, Captain Steve… So my head's a little foggy, and I think I'm the bitch that just totally forgot to thank you for saving my life."

His cheeks colored at her words, "Um, no you already did. Think nothing of it, miss. But you should probably let the nurses have a look at ya… you're looking pretty banged up."

"Sure know how to make a girl feel pretty, don't you." The teasing was weak at best.

"Oh no, ma'am, I-I'm sorry, I just meant-"

"Don't worry about it; I know it looks worse than it is. I'm tiny and breakable, bruise like a peach… But I should probably call Jane back and let her know I'm ok. She probably got an earful when that guy came crashing in."

"No need." Coulson reentered the room. "I was just speaking to Director Fury, Miss Lewis. You're going to have to come with us to a safe location until further notice." He moved to escort her out, but Darcy took a step back.

"Um, that's great and I'd totally love to come with you and all… but do you think I could put on a shirt?"

So yeah, Darcy would say she made a lasting first impression on Captain America. She may not have been as clever as Tony Stark or as fierce as Natasha Romanoff, but she had tits that made a grown man blush and enough sass to earn the begrudging respect of a seasoned secret agent. From that night on, a balance was made. He Steve was protective and chivalrous, sure, but he also couldn't keep from going red in her presence and he damn well respected her- especially after hearing her side of the Thor fiasco. Don't mess with a gal and her Taser! Unless, of course, she leaves it in her bag to enjoy topless take-out, as she explained to him. It was a good dynamic, a fun one.

And to think, they only met because of some crazy random happenstance…

And some killers entrenched in a deep conspiracy, but that's a whole different part of the story.

R_S: Voila! Some will be sillier than that, some more serious. I only have a couple written and a handful of bits of others, so we shall see. Let me know what you guys think and if you have any requests/other ideas.