Sorry! This chapter is really late, I know, I know. I could make so many excuses, but really, I was just lazy and I didn't know if I could write a second chapter that would be as good as the first! I have really low self confidence, and I was reluctant to write the second chapter until today, since I'm going to the beach tomorrow, and then starting Sunday, I have band camp.
If there are any spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, etc. etc., please tell me! I don't want any of those getting in your way of reading!
They weren't supposed to know.
They weren't supposed to know that he'd killed his dad. They weren't supposed to see him cry. They weren't supposed to hear him scream so angrily. They weren't – they weren't sup –
But they did.
He'd failed at keeping his composure. Keeping his face set, his attention elsewhere, and being strong. He'd failed at all of that.
But it wasn't his fault. They were the bullies. They called him a demon, a monster, a mistake. He didn't need them. All he needed was solitude – at least, from them.
So he stayed home the next day. He just sat on the roof of the dorm, wallowing in his thoughts. He watched students walk across campus and hid from Yukio when he came to check up on him. Yukio didn't worry, though. He knew where he was and that he needed some space after yesterday's events, and he was grateful for that.
To think that Shirou Fujimoto – the one who introduced her to Yukio and was always so nice to her – was dead tugged at her heartstrings, but what killed her most was how she'd turned a blind eye to Rin.
How could she not notice? She always thought that he was strong inside and out, but by what she'd witnessed… his goofy, tough guy act had expired. Apparently, she hadn't looked deep enough. She knew that she should've talked to him after the camping trip, but she thought that he was fine with Shura and Yukio. She never thought that he'd still be lonely. She never noticed the hurt, the pleading, the longing that was hidden in those eyes.
What a lousy friend she was.
Izumo knew that he was going to explode.
It was evident that the words were eating him more than they had any other day. He trembled, he tensed, and, the most obvious of all, he cried.
She knew he was going to snap. She knew that one day, those words would bring him to the verge of tears. But she didn't know that what was killing him inside, what was stabbing his very soul, was murder.
She could feel the guilt pouring through his voice, the hurt, the shame, the self-loathing.
He of all people didn't deserve to feel that way. He was strong, caring, and admired by his will to carry on – by her, at least. She admired how even though everyone was against him, everyone was ignoring him, he managed to pull through. It wasn't love or a crush or anything like that. She just found herself striving to have that emotional strength. He knew how it felt to be useless, and when she cried her heart out, he helped her. He reached out to her, even though she came off as bitchy and barely acknowledged him. He was a good natured kid.
What did he do to deserve this kind of treatment?
Shima felt like he could see things for the first time.
His almost carefree life had gone down the drain. Here was something that mattered. Here was a friend who was so troubled and ashamed that he took whatever was thrown at him.
How could he not see that?
Rin's words were like a slap to the face, bringing him to face the truth of the matter. He was a part of the cause that led Rin to cry, to scream, to blame himself.
And fuck, he felt guilty.
He knew Rin wasn't a bad guy, but he didn't talk to him because Bon was so angry at him.
God, he was an idiot.
He should've just talked to him. He should've done a lot of things to make Rin feel better, but Bon's anger prevented him. He didn't know that things were that bad for Rin, though.
He didn't deserve to call himself Rin's friend.
Konekomaru wanted to cry.
He didn't, because he knew Rin had much worse things to cry over. He'd let himself get shoved into a world of hate for Rin because of something he couldn't control. It wasn't like he'd asked to be Satan's son. It wasn't like he'd asked to burn those blue flames.
He could never feel the pain that Rin felt. Sure, he'd lost his parents, but to be hated, scorned, neglected, and most of all, abused over something you couldn't do anything about?
It must be a living hell.
Walking each day, knowing that it'll never get better, no matter what you do…
That was something to cry over.
Suguro didn't know what to feel.
He'd bullied this poor kid for over two months now.
It seemed like he was the demon.
To be blinded by his hatred for Satan was just – disgusting. Rin and Satan were two totally different people. Besides the blue flames, it wasn't like Rin was going to blow up any temples or kill anyone. He just wasn't the type to do that.
Suguro couldn't fathom the hurt he'd put Rin through.
And all this time… Rin was dying inside.
How could he ever ignore Rin's feelings? How could he ever want to hurt anyone so badly? How could he ignore the fact that Rin was raised as a human?
He wasn't raised as a demon, or a weapon. He was raised as a human. Just like the rest of them. He'd been taught to love, care, and feel things that demons wouldn't give a rat's ass about. He'd always tried to do good, even when he got into fights, they were for the right reason.
If he could pinpoint any emotion that could describe how he felt, it probably would be guilt. Guilt for every bad thing he said, to Rin's face or not. Guilt for not noticing earlier. He also felt stupid. So stupid. Stupid for being a shitty person.
Suguro walked up the stairs to the roof. Yukio hadn't taken long to tell him where Rin was.
He dreaded apologizing for anything, and tried to avoid it as much as he could, but this needed to be done.
Praying that the door would open quietly, he turned the handle. Barely screeching, he cracked open the door just wide enough for him to squeeze through. Closing the door, he slowly turned around.
Rin was sitting cross-legged in the middle of a circle of candles. His eyes were closed in concentration, and his hands were pressed together in a sort of prayer stance. He took deep breaths in and out of his nose. With each inhale, the controlled flames shot about four inches up in perfect unison. With each exhale, the flames simmered back down, returning to a normal burn.
Suguro dared to take a step forward. As his right heel touched the concrete, Rin's eyes shot open, and the flames extinguished themselves. Looking up, he saw Suguro's face, and his eyes filled with fear.
"Sugu – "
Rin's eyes widened at Suguro's interjection. He slowly looked down at his hands, his eyes filling with tears.
Confusion apparent on Suguro's face, he walked closer to Rin and sat down in front of him.
"There is no 'why'. I've been out of line this whole time. I've been calling you a demon. I've been hurting you."
"But why? Why would you apologize to someone like me? I – I don't deserve an apology. I killed my dad! Wh – why are you apologizing?" Rin rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, still slouching.
"Because I have to."
Rin looked up at Suguro as he continued to talk.
"You're hurt. You have no one looking out for you besides Yukio. He doesn't even know that you're hurt inside. You won't ask for help, because you think you can deal with it on your own. But you can't. I made you cry. I've been calling you names ever since the camping trip. I didn't help at all. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize! I deserve it! I deserve every word you've thrown at me! I –" He broke off into sobs, tears pouring down his face as he curled into a ball, ashamed of crying in front of him again.
"Tch. You're such a softy, now. I guess that's another thing I caused, huh?" Suguro said softly. "Your dad, Shiro Fujimoto, was a great man. He took care of you, even though he knew who you were. It's not your fault he's dead. He was prepared to take his life to protect you."
He got up and offered a hand to Rin. "Come on. You can't sit here crying all day."
Nodding and raising up a shaky hand, the half demon stood up and regained his balance. "You're okay? With… with being friends with me?"
"I wouldn't want it any other way."
They walked down the stairs together, and on the second level, bumped into the rest of the exwires. Upon noticing his red eyes and happy smile, they pinned him down with hugs.
Rin smiled a genuine smile for the first time in two months, and the look on his face was of utter happiness and bliss.