I pulled this story last year because I was nowhere near getting it finished, I am now happy to say that I am getting it done...at last!
I am going to be reposting and reworking the chapters and aim to have it all finished by the end of the summer. I have given myself a deadline of getting it completed and posted by the end of September, so I hope you come along for the ride and enjoy getting back in with Swearlla and Welshward
I hate Mondays.
No, I'm not fucking Garfield the cat, but I seriously HATE Mondays. Who the fuck decided that the weekend should only be 2 days long? Whoever decided that shit needs a good kick in the balls, and I say balls, because you know that crap was decided by a man. No woman is that stupid...well actually I can think of a few.
So here I am on a Monday morning at 7:15am, lying in my beautifully comfy bed and I have to get my ass out of it and start getting ready for work.
There is only one thing that gets be out of bed on a Monday morning, and I can hear it coming from the kitchen of my little 2 bedroom flat that I share with my sister Alice.
My bedroom door is then swung open by my little pixie of a sister, although she's older than me, you wouldn't think it, she has the energy of a 5 years old that lives off artificial colours and shit.
"Come on Bells...its MONDAY!" She sings.
She fucking sings, who the hell does that? That's right, Alice does.
She turns around and flitters back out of my room, leaving the door wide open so I can hear the only thing that gets my ass moving on a Monday, and no it isn't the sound of food cooking and all that crap. It's the only song that can literally get me 'up and at them' in the morning, and we did research to find that shit out.
Seriously, the amount of songs we went through to get me motivated was ridiculous. I'm one of those people that needs music to do most things. You know like washing the dishes cannot be done without my trusty lime green iPod in my pocket, it's my addiction.
I can hear the words drifting into my bedroom and by the time the first chorus comes around, I throw my blanket back off me and plant my feet firmly on the ground and dance my way into our little kitchen.
"Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside"
This song gets my ass up, it's as if The Killers knew that they had to make this song just for me.
So here we are, me and Alice flaying our arms around our head like a pair of maniacs, jumping up and down and singing along to the song, badly I might add. This song will be on repeat until we leave for work. We have songs for everyday of the week, except on the weekends where we just chill the fuck out, usually too hung over to hear anything until we feel human again. Which in Alice's case is usually 24 hours after the event.
"So you all ready for tonight?" Alice asks while shaking her ass and making us some strong coffee.
I look at my pixie, and wonder where she gets her energy. She is dancing in our small little kitchen in fluffy pink pj's with sheep on them and her usually immaculately spiky bob is in total disarray.
"Ah fuck, bring me down why don't you Al." I say while slapping my hand to my forehead.
"Mum will kick your ass B if you don't turn up, no excuses she said."
She turns to me and looks at me with her big blue eyes and flutters her eyelashes at me,
"Please? I don't want to go on my own."
She gets me every time with the begging shit.
"FINE!" I shout while throwing my hands up in the air.
"Just so you know, if she fucking starts on me Al, I'm gone." I say while pointing a finger at my little big sister.
"She won't, she's too wrapped up in all the wedding rubbish to have a pop tonight." She starts tapping her index finger on her lip while thinking and continues.
"Next week on the other hand..." she trails off.
"Yeah, that's going to be a barrel of fucking fun that shit is." I exclaim.
"Must you swear so much Bella?"
"You fucking know I fucking love to shitting swear all the bollocking time Alice." I smirk.
"Yeah, you do it to piss Mum off."
"No I fucking don't." I say while taking a sip of coffee "But that is a bonus." I laugh out.
"Whatever." Alice says with a wave of her hand while she walks into her room to start getting ready.
I sit at our small ass table and start singing to Mr Brightside, making its second appearance of the morning, fuck knows how many times we listen to it before we leave the flat, not that I care, couldn't do a Monday without it, SERIOUSLY!
I make my way into our little bathroom and take a quick shower, knowing that Alice will be in need of the bathroom until we leave for work. She has a routine that she follows every morning, all OCD and shit.
I stand in front of the sink and brush my teeth quickly. I look down to see all of Alice's make up for the day set out. I stare at how precise it's laid out, and just to wind the pixie up, and for making me come tonight, I move her mascara to the other end of the production line. Most people wouldn't give a shit for that, but she has all her shit laid out in order of application.
It's a really childish thing to do, and I know it, but I can't help the small giggle that leaves my lips as I walk out into my room next door.
"All free!" I shout to Alice before I close my door and wait for the wrath of the poison pixie.
I manage to get my white lace matching underwear on before my door is swung open for the second time today by Alice.
"Touch my shit again, and I swear Bella, I will break you fucking fingers."
She is full on seething at me, and for all the anger that she in oozing, I can't help but laugh at her expression.
"You swore!" I said in mock horror.
"Fuck you bitch!" She shouted at me, while a smile played at the edge of her lips.
"No wonder you're single, you annoying cow." She laughed out and walked away.
"Thanks for the reminder." I grumbled to myself.
She knew what to say to shut me the hell up. It's been 6 months but still it fucking smarts when I get reminded of him.
I shake the thoughts out of my head and continue with getting ready for work.
On go my black work trousers, with meticulous pleats. I didn't do that shit, Alice did, but if it saved me doing my ironing, I wasn't about to complain.
My baby pink fitted shirt hugged me in all the right places, and made my tits look awesome, if I do say so myself, and I do. No one else is going to say it for me.
I put on my plain black heels and stand in front of my full length mirror.
"Not bad Bella." I say to myself.
These trousers are nice and snug around my ass and flare out under where my ass cheeks are, apparently it's more flattering. I wouldn't have a fucking clue, leave all that shit to Alice.
I look at myself and am happy with what I see. I mean, I'm not a super model by any means, but I like my figure and I think that my eyes are my best feature.
I'm 5'4 with shoulder length wavy, mahogany brown hair, and chocolate brown eyes (so I've been told). My lips are full, but not pouty like Angelina Jolie, and my skin is clear and pale, not deathly white like, but living in the UK, we don't see much sun.
Did I forget to mention that? I did, oh well here goes...
I live in London, sharing a small 2 bedroom flat with my sister Alice (you've met her). Our flat is over a book shop in Notting Hill, and that's why we can get away with having ridiculously loud music on repeat in the morning. We're really lucky to have this flat, and to be honest the only reason I can afford it is because the building is owned by our uncle and it's his book shop downstairs. So we get family discount on the rent.
Alice works at a snobby boutique where ladies go that have way too much money. I couldn't afford any of that shit, not that I would want it. I'm a New Look, Top Shop girl myself, and that pisses the pixie off even more. She and my big brother Emmett, got left some serious amount of cash when their dad passed away a few years back. He had invested in shares or some shit and had hit the jackpot.
Right better clarify hadn't I? Emmett is my big brother, well half brother. He and Alice have got the same dad, and Renee our mother married my dad Charlie when Emmett and Alice were young and he adopted them and considers them his kids.
Emmett was 5 and Alice was 2 when my mum and dad met, their dad had fucked off and left mum high and dry. I don't know the full details and never wanted to know, neither did Alice and Emmett. I came along 4 years later after mum and dad got married and we've been this big happy family ever since.
When Alice and Emmett found out about the money after whatshisname died, they didn't want to accept the money, I was all like
"Fuck take it, you guys deserve something off that fuckwit"
My mother hadn't given her opinion on the situation, because she really didn't care. I could tell that dad was a little miffed at the fact that he had provided for them all these years and then their dad dies and leaves them all this money. But Alice and Emmett did accept the money and then make it up to dad by buying him a new car, and fuck was he happy with that.
Anyway, back to the present. I work for an I.T firm that does web design, although I am just a lowly P.A to some right asshole.
My boss, Sam, thinks he is god's gift to women, and that gets my shit going. Every Monday I have to put up with him telling his 'buddy' Mike about all the pussy he had during the weekend. I mean the dude leaves his office door open on purpose I'm sure, to try and make me realize that I want his STD filled ass I'm sure. I would rather become a lesbian than touch him with a fucking barge pole, I mean seriously!
I dry my hair straight and put on simple make up, mascara, blush and lip gloss and make my way to the kitchen to make us some breakfast. Bagels with cream cheese and crispy bacon to go. We have to leave the house at half 8 to make it into work on time.
"I'm done," Alice says while stepping out from her bedroom and takes the bagel from my outstretched hand.
"Why thank you." She smiles at me.
"Let's go pixie." I say while shrugging my jacket on.
She turns the little docking station off while I hold our door open for her to come out. We both take our time walking down the steep steps from our flat to the outer door, how we haven't broken a bone or something yet I'll never know.
We start walking down the street towards our places of work, lucky for us they are across the street from each other.
"What time is the shin dig tonight?" I ask, not really caring.
"Um...think Mum said for us to meet at the restaurant at 7. We'll have time to come home and change."
"And get plastered before we go." I laugh out.
"No way B, if you turn up drunk tonight it's me that gets it in the neck." Alice stops walking and places her hand on my arm and pleads "Please be nice tonight B, not for mum, but for E."
And she's got me by the balls again (if I had any), she knows that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for Emmett.
"Fine, I'll be on my best behaviour, but you and E seriously owe me big style."
"I'll buy you lunch, how's that?" She asks with a smile.
"Fucking perfect." I reply sarcastically.
We parted then as I cross the street and walk into the office.
"Hi Ang." I reply.
"Still hating Mondays?" she asks with a giggle.
"You fucking know it." I reply smiling.
Angela was the only one in this entire office that I actually liked, the rest are a bunch of douche bags.
Angela worked on reception and was a slight girl, with long dark hair and big brown eyes. She was like a size zero or some shit, even though she ate more than Emmett, and that's saying something.
"Is he in yet?"
I didn't have to say his name and she knew I meant Sam, my boss.
She grimaced and nodded in reply.
He had that effect on most people that had ovaries, how he still managed to 'tap that', as he says I'll never know. Beer goggles are the only reason I can come up with, and more than likely the size of his wallet.
Sam had built this business up from nothing, he started up in his bedroom while still living at his parent's house. While I admired his work and business ethic, as a person, he was a total cockmunch.
But a job was a job, and I needed one, so here I was Monday through Friday without a hitch.
I made my way to my desk in front of Sam's office, and surprise surprise, his door was open and he was telling Mike all about the ass he had on Saturday night and how he had to kick her out on Sunday before his girlfriend showed up.
"Bet he's lying through his ass." I said quietly to myself.
"What was that Bella?"
I turned round to see Sam and Mike standing behind me looking at my ass while I was getting my mug from my bottom drawer of my desk.
"Uh, nothing." I said while I spun on my heels and made my way to the office kitchen to make myself some tea.
"Ew" I said to myself with a shiver while flicking the kettle on.
Mike totally freaked me out, he was totally harmless. All talk, no balls that one, but still he was a creepy bloke.
I made my tea and Sam's coffee and made my way back to my desk. I placed my tea on my desk and took Sam's coffee into him.
"Have a good weekend Bella?" Sam asked while not looking up from his computer.
"Yeah, great thanks, you?"
I didn't really want to know that, but being polite and all that shit, I ask anyway.
"Perfect thanks honey." He smiled without looking at me.
I hated it when he called me that, but this man had connections and he had never come onto me so I had no reason, yet, to kick him square between the legs.
Sam was in his forties with obviously dyed jet back hair. He spent way too much time on sunbeds and no doubt had more facial care stuff than me and Alice combined. He liked his tailor made suits and Italian shoes and smelt like the aftershave counter at the department store. He had sparking blue eyes, and his hair slicked back like something off that 80's film 'Wall Street.'
Just as I was about to walk away, Sam looked up and said to me,
"We've got a meeting at 10 with Jacob and his guys from advertising. Meet me in the boardroom then, ok?"
He wasn't really asking me but, I just nodded in reply.
Fuck me, where to start with that shit.
Jacob and I had been dating for about a year, I thought everything was fine and dandy but then out of the blue he tells me that he's not ready for a serious relationship. That he wants to be single for awhile. I thought that I would give him time to sow his wild oats and crap, and then after I was away for a week, a month or so after we split, I came back to work and found out off Angela that he's gotten engaged to some plastic blonde bimbo called Jessica.
That hit me like a ton of bricks. I never called him on it either, I just acted like I didn't care while inside it ate me up big style. The amount of Ben and Jerry's I went through that first month was shocking. How I didn't end up like a whale I'll never know.
So for the past 6 months I had avoided Jacob whenever possible, I didn't even go to the works Christmas party. I faked illness for that shit.
I went and sat back at my desk and folded my hands in front of me and rested my head on my arms and groaned to myself.
This was going to be one uncomfortable meeting, on a Monday, of all days.
"Fucking Monday." I muttered to myself, when the phone on my desk rang.
"Sam Brown's office." I answered professionally.
"Hey Bella, call for you on line 3." Angela said.
I didn't even get a chance to say "Don't do it." Before I heard the 'beep beep' of the call being put through.
"Isabella Swan." Said a high shrill voice that could shatter glass.
'Ah fuck.' I thought to myself.
Just in case you didn't get it yet...
I HATE MONDAYS!
I am hoping to update weekly, but if it happens more often, all the better for you lot. Hope you like where I'm going and that you want to come along for the ride.
Any mistakes are mine and remember that I am just writing this for fun, so it's not going to be published level.
Hope you guys liked it so far and that you stick along for the ride