Warning: Contains disciplinary spanking... not abuse. If you do not find this acceptable please move along. Thanks.
Disclaimer: All the wonderful Twilight characters are property of Stephenie Meyer who is kind enough to loan them to us. I promise to return them in the same condition that I found them in... for the most part. Hey, at least I won't bend, fold or mutilate... much.
AN: Hi, y'all. This is just going to be a short bit of silliness used as a diversion from my other story. Felt the need to have a place to let the characters (and myself) decompress. Emmett came to my rescue and Esme decided to give poor over worked Carlisle a break though "Pops" is quite welcome to step in if he feels the need.
"Oh, come on. What could possibly go wrong?"
"You do realize that nearly every time those words come out of your mouth we're lucky if anything goes right. Reminds me of those guys who start out on some stupid stunt by saying, 'here hold my beer.' "
Emmett rolled his eyes at Jasper's rebuff of his plans while grinning ear to ear as he tried to entice his siblings into joining in the fun. This would be great. He would go it alone if he had to but it would be so much more fun to share the experience with his brothers and sister.
"Mom is out shopping with Rose and Pops is occupied. It's just us, guys and we could all do with some fun. Humans do this all the time and nothing bad happens to them. Don't see why we should be any different."
Edward made a sound of disbelief then shook his head sadly. "You don't pay much attention do you, Em? How many times has dad come back from work with stories about all the injuries he has to treat this time of year because of these things? Besides, it's not something that we can easily hide unless we head way out away from the house and correct me if I'm wrong but didn't mom say that you aren't allowed to go out without either her or dad for the next couple of weeks. She sounded highly pissed off after your last installment of Destructo Boy's adventures in home demolition."
Jasper coughed as he shifted uncomfortably. "As luck would have it, those restrictions apply to me as well since we were both involved in that fiasco." He shot his burly brother a look of contempt. "Believe that was another one of those 'what could possibly go wrong' times. I'm not falling for it this go round, Em. You've gotten me into enough trouble, thanks. I feel no need to go there again anytime soon."
"Aw, but it does sound like such a good time, Jazz. I think it's a wonderful idea. Why should the humans get to have all the fun? Doesn't sound fair to me. As long as we're careful it will all be good. It's not like the humans haven't been doing their share of creating a show already so dad will think it's just more of their fun and games." Alice giggled with excitement.
"Alice, sweetheart, you don't think he will find it oddly loud? We are miles from anyone who would be celebrating like this. Be reasonable, baby. This is not a well thought out plan. In fact I would say this hasn't been thought out at all."
Emmett slapped his blond haired brother on the shoulder. "That's where you would be wrong, Jazzman. I've been laying in supplies for weeks. Got everything all worked out, bro just need the man power to pull it off and if something should go wrong I'll take the fall. No problem. See, you've got nothing to worry about."
"Do you honestly think that mom and dad will let the rest of us walk if we get caught red handed? Exactly how long have you been part of the family, Em? If we do this and get caught all four of us are going down in a blaze of glory. Granted, your behind might be blazing a little brighter then the rest of ours but dad will make sure we all pay for going along with your sophomoric idea." Edward rubbed his eyes as he sighed. Life was one big adventure to his goofy brother but the rest of them always seemed to end up as collateral damage in some way. He couldn't believe this bit of stupidity would be any different. "Not to mention, how happy do you think Rose will be if she comes home and finds out that your fool ass went and got into more trouble?"
If it was possible, Emmett's smile grew brighter. "Why do you think she went shopping with Mom? She agreed to run some interference. See, I told you all that I've got this all planned out. Will you and Jazz stop being such worry warts and just have some fun? Would be a shame if little sis and I end up celebrating all by ourselves but if the two of you are too chicken..."
"I aint no chicken, Emmett." Jasper spat defensively. His eyes flared with anger at having his courage questioned by the big oaf. Though he knew that somehow for some reason he would end up regretting this, he answered his brother's challenge. "Alright, if Alice is in then so am I. Someone has to keep y'all out of trouble and it might as well be me though I still think this is birdbrained. Hell, even a bird would think this is stupid."
After having won Jasper over to his side, Emmett turned his full attention on Edward.
"So, Eddie, what do you say?"
Edward grimaced at the hated nickname then shook his head. "It is a fool idea. You realize that, right? And when mom and dad find out..."
"Edward, they won't find out. You're only young once. Let's have some fun."
"Alice you've been young for 92 years."
"But it's still only once regardless of how long it lasts." She smiled as she bounced on her toes. "Please, Edward. I really hate to see you get left out of the fun. It really isn't that bad of an idea."
Edward smirked slightly. "Notice that you don't actually say it's a good idea."
The pixie-ish teen grinned happily. "We won't know how good of an idea it is until we try it but at least we know that it won't be boring."
Jasper snorted at his mate's words. "Boredom is a rare thing around here. Especially with Emmett as the master mind." He fell silent for a moment then groaned. "Damn. Now that is the most frightening thing about this entire potential calamity. We are following a plan organized by this doofus. We deserve everything we've got coming."
Alice giggled as she reached up to kiss her husband. "You worry too much."
"You know, I can handle boredom just fine." Edward slumped against the side of his mother's glass paned greenhouse but one look at the joy in his sister's eyes and his resistance folded. "Oh, fine but if this thing goes south, and I know that it will, I'm holding you directly responsible, Alice."
"Hey! There is nothing wrong with the south."
"No offense meant, Jasper."
Emmett clapped his hands and rubbed his palms together as his laughter rang out with a slightly evil intonation. That was easier then he thought it would have been. He knew that it would be easy for him to push Jasper's buttons to get him to go along but he was grateful for Alice's help in convincing Edward. Things had been much too serious around the house lately and their little clan needed to remember what it was like to just let loose and have fun. He had taken his idea to Alice who embraced it wholeheartedly. Convincing his Rose to go along had been a minor challenge but she eventually acquiesced to play her part in helping him pull it off since she wouldn't be directly involved should something go awry. As if.
"Well, let's get this party started! Everything we need is in here." He opened the door to the greenhouse ushering his siblings inside to get their first glimpse of the treasures he had procured for their pyrotechnic delight. This was so totally going to be a night to remember and he knew he would have the added fun of making his brothers eat their words because there was no way in the world that anything could possibly go wrong.