Disclaimer: I do not own Mars
For your sake
I love watching him driving. He seems so confident and strong, although I know there are issues that are stressing him out right now and - what's more important - throughout his entire live. However seeing him like that washes away all the worries for his well-being. At that very moment I can feel nothing but love and respect for the man.
Each passing light reminds me that nothing could lift me from the dark and insecurity until I met him. As well as nothing could make me collapse into abyss even easier. However, surprisingly for me, it is all those break-ups and other dramas that made me a stronger person, but not the evil enemies, although they did have their share in that process.
I caught his eyes on me all over again. Some time ago I naively assumed that one day I would get used to it, I would get rid of the innocence - which seems to be my middle name - and eventually he would fail in making me feel shy. But truth to be told, I never did. Every time I catch him all over again, I feel ingenuous blush coming up to my cheecks and the familiar tenderness taking over my heart. This makes him smile victoriously and yet so lovingly that I forget all about the world around us.
Every time we broke up, I could't bring myself to giving up on him despite the pain I gone through. People kept saying that I should hate, despise and - eventually - forget him. They considered me pathetic and lame for showing this faith in him, in us. We took this road again and again: betrayal - forgiveness- betrayal - forgiveness… But the thing is, he was not the only person that should have been accused of the "crimes". After all, it takes two to tango, doesn't it?
He squeezed my hand and I noticed that the speed reached 190 km/h. It made perfect sense: this day was too much for him to take easily and that was a way for him to get rid of thoughts and emotions, to loose control. Usually he tried to keep the speed at bay when being with me, but I didn't mind, especially today.
I know he blames himself for everything, for betraying my trust and love… again. The question is - what path will be chosen this time? I don't seem to bring myself to fight this time. I am too exhausted.
I was studying him while he was sleeping, his breathing deep and even. Soft and loving smile touched my lips immediately waking an unbearable desire to kiss him. But I was determined to try my best to avoid moving at all: I certainly do not want to rouse him. At least this time.
His body radiates warmth and even as he's sleeping I know that I am protected.
I have known him for five years, I have learnt to understand his movements and gestures, the way he looks at people. I am not sure if it is just my imagination or else, but being around him makes a person feel his strength and power over those around him. Every feature practically screams that he must be a prince and a duke, but you can never guess the title since he never shows that differences influence his behavior. Perhaps, just approach when he is trying to get what he wants.
It has always been my dream - to stand by his side proudly, supporting him and his ideas, helping in achieving goals. Starting a family one day.
But every time I was almost there, the dream slipped away. And I started to think if that was not what the Destiny wanted me to do.
I tried researching other possibilities. But I always came back to him. I mean, I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself, running the world - if necessary. But that didn't make me happy.
He slowly opened his eyes, teasing smile lighting up his face. He caught my hand that was exploring his chest and arms with the tip of the nails, sending goose bumps all over his body.
- Like what you see?
- I don't complain, love.
He embraced me, forcing me to lie on his chest, and made himself comfortable placing his chin on my temple.
- I love you, you know that? And I will make anything to insure your happiness.
- I love you. And my happiness depends on you.
He didn't answer me, just covered us with a blanket and started drawing circles on my belly, soothing my anxiety, erasing my fears. A single tear rolled down my check on his bare chest. And soon I fell asleep.
The sun was shining brightly up in the sky. The first thing I heard in the morning was the birds singing, celebrating the new beginnings, the new day. The joy was filling my body making me grin from ear to ear. Slowly opening my eyes - so as not to frighten the sensation with my eagerness - I took in a deep breath.
Only then did I notice the single red rose on the pillow with a note.
"Your happiness is all that matters. If that means I can't love you, then I don't.
This is for your sake."