Sleep

It went horribley wrong, their last mission.

Jill sat beside Chris's hospital bed. She held his unmoving hand and waited for him to wake up. He had fallen asleep nearly an hour before and she stayed the entire time.

She was starting to wonder why.

She had been his partner for five years now and she was tired. She put everything she had into being there for him, taking care of him, being his partner. And she no longer knew why. He was her world, and he was fading. She was questioning her very exsistence. Why love if not to be loved in return?

Her grip lessoned on his hand. "Chris..." she spoke. "I know you're asleep and that you can't hear me, but... That makes this easier." She rubbed her hand over the back of her neck. "I love you," the brunette whispered into the cold, dark hospital room. It echoed around her like it was taunting her. "But I can't anymore. It's... too much."

Chris remained unmoving on the bed, his monitor beeping quietly to prove his heart still beat. She swore at herself for being such a coward. This wasn't the way to tell him. She should just wait until he wakes up, but she couldn't. It was hard enough to say the three words she had while he was sleeping. She could never say them to his face while he was awake.

She sighed angrily at herself. She was nothing to him, she knew. No more than a partner or a friend. She was lucky if he did take even a moment out of the day to actually talk to her. Lately it was "Work, work, work. Sorry, Jill, didn't notice you there. I'd love to go to lunch, but I've got paperwork." Jill felt horribly neglected. And used.

"I can't do this anymore." Months of his mistreatment. And he probably didn't even realize. "You getting hurt... It doesn't help this. And I realize it's hard for you to focus on more than one thing, but I feel like you haven't... Haven't even looked at me in the past year." She removed her hand from his and dragged it down her face. "This is hard for me to do... I love you more than I've loved anything else in a long time. But I can't keep sitting by your hospital bed every other month, wondering if you'll even wake up."

She stood and began to pace. Back and forth across the room, her eyes going from her shoes to his face, her shoes, his face, her shoes. "God, Chris. I've loved you since STARS and you haven't noticed! Haven't cared!" She angrily sat back down in her chair. It was late at night and she was exhausted. All she wanted to do was be held by him until she fell asleep. Listen to him hum as she did. But it had been years since he had held her in her sleep.

Jill stood again and moved close to the edge of the bed. Resisting the urge to lean down and place one last kiss on his cheek, she let a tear drip from her eye. She stood over him with her fists clentched and spoke once more. "Goodbye, Chris. I love you, but I can't."

She turned away and carried herself to the doorway. A small movement caught her attention before she could exit. She glanced back to see Chris sitting up in bed, staring at her with big, deep blue eyes full of hurt.

His lips moved and something almost inaudible escaped them. "Jill... Wait."


Now, I realize this is short. But I don't know if I want to add another chapter. It'd be great if you could review and give me your opinion on that matter.