And we meet again! Let me say how SORRY I am for this looonnnnnggg wait! I had to figure out what I was write, then actually take the time to write it! Life has been getting in the way. Sorry if all this medical mumbo jumbo doesn't pan out to be "realistic", it was what I could decipher from my internet searches! I am NOT a doctor! :) Here it is, make sure to type some words in that box down there! :D :D :D
Getting Sophie to bed proved to be more of a challenge tonight than it was usually. I was proud to say that my baby loved to get her sleep, just like her momma, and had no trouble ever going to sleep, but tonight was another story. All that sugar that Alice had hyped her up on was making it quite difficult for me to get her to sleep. She was being fussy, and I was running out of options. I knew only Edward could get her to sleep, so I went and got my phone, and dialed his number.
He never answered, but I figured that was because he didn't want to talk to me. After all, I was the one who had just asked for a divorce hours earlier. I continued to rock Sophie in her rocking chair, to no avail. I was getting tired myself, and peaked at the clock, which signaled it was close to 10:30 now. She must have been getting tired, because the longer we sat here, the fussier she got.
That's when I heard a loud ringing from the house phone down the hallway. Sophie heard it though, and was wide awake, balling her eyes out and screaming for the whole neighborhood to hear.
I ran down the hallway with her in my arms, and picked the phone up on the fourth ring, and was not expecting the person on the other line.
"Where have you been, Edward?" I didn't even wait for him to say hello before I laid it on him. "Sophie's been crying for over an hour and I need you home now."
"Actually this is Detective Jones with the Seattle Police Department. Is this Mrs. Cullen that I'm speaking to?"
"Yes, this is she. You can call me Bella. What can I do for you officer?"
"Bella, I need to inform you that your husband Edward was in a car accident at approximately 8:30 p.m. tonight. Edward is at Seattle Grace hospital, and is being prepped for surgery as we speak. We can give you more information once you arrive at the hospital, as we're unsure what his level of injury is right now, as well as the cause of the crash."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I'd just seen Edward hours ago, alive and well, and now he was going into surgery, possibly fighting for his life. What kind of person was I? Did I cause this? I wondered if his emotions clouded his mind and caused him to crash. No, I did nothing wrong, I stated my feelings, he knew they were coming.
But that didn't mean I felt less guilty about his being in the hospital. I needed to get there, fast, and quickly dialed his mom's number.
She picked up on the first ring. "Hello? Bella, why are you calling this late?" I then realized it was 11 at night, and Carlisle and Esme had gone to bed awhile ago.
"Esme, I need someone to watch Sophie. A detective just called and said Edward was in the hospital and he's in surgery, and I needed to go see what's going on." The news hadn't sunk in yet, as I felt fully functional, not aware of the weight of the accident on my shoulders.
"What? When? Is he okay?" She sounded immediately panicked, and I wondered why I wasn't reacting the same way.
"I'm not sure; they'll tell me when I get to the hospital. I just got Sophie to fall asleep, and now she's awake and fussy. I can't take care of her at the hospital and take care of things with Edward either."
"Oh of course we'll watch her dear. Carlisle and I will be over in a jiffy. You just hold tight and breathe, Carlisle and I will take care of everything else at the house. Bye Bella."
"Thanks Esme, bye." I sank down on the couch and really let it sink in. How could this have happened? I had no idea what condition he was in, what was going on during the surgery, what I was going to say to him when he woke up. If he woke up…
He was my husband, the only love of my life and he could die. Obviously one day he would, but what if this time was now? I never realized how much I would miss him after he would go, whether it was moving or dying.
I needed to tell him how I really felt, instead of just bull shitting everything. We needed to share real, raw emotion, and no amount of therapy could help us get back to who we use to be. I just needed to get to Edward now, and wait until he was out of surgery to tell him.
It seemed like a lifetime until Esme and Carlisle arrived, and they quietly let themselves in, trying not to wake my baby girl. I ran out the door and to my car, saying a hello and thank you before speeding towards the hospital. Luckily Edward wanted to live closet to the hospital he worked at, so the drive only took five minutes, not exactly going the speed limit.
I rushed into the E.R. looking for anyone who would tell me what was going on with Edward. I immediately went to the nurse's station, and was directed to the I.C.U., where Edward would be put after his surgery.
The nurse there provided a little more information. She said that Edward was in surgery to open room in his skull, for his brain that was swelling. She said that she would page the detective and I could sit in the waiting room.
That was the last thing I wanted to do. I would've rather screamed my lungs out for all of the shit piling on top of me. That would've made me feel better.
But instead I listened to the nurse, and sat down in the waiting room across the hall. I thumbed through a magazine, not knowing what I was reading until I realized it was Men's Health. I set that down and decided that staring off into space would be a much better use of my time.
Soon enough, a young man that appeared to be in his 30's walked up in front of me and cleared his throat. I realized then the tears that were running down my face, and I wiped them off quickly and rose to my feet.
"Bella?" I nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you, although I wish it were under different circumstances. I'm Detective Jones." I shook his hand.
"Nice to meet you. The nurse said he was in surgery because his brain was swelling, but she didn't really say much. I'm afraid that Edward's the doctor in the family, so I'm not even sure what that means. Is he going to die?" A sob rocked through me as I realized that there was a possibility of Edward not waking up, and I needed to sit down.
"The doctors said they should have the swelling under control, and they'll access his other injuries after that. Edward should be out of surgery soon, is there anyone else I should call?"
"No, I told everyone else in the family. How did this even happen?"
"Edward was parked on the side of the road in a neighborhood about 7 miles away from your home. We believe he was reaching for something in the back, and had his seatbelt off, when he was hit by another vehicle in the back, most likely a pick-up truck. The jolt from the back caused your husband to fly forward and hit his head on windshield and then hit the back of his head on the seat when he jolted backwards. The truck drove off, so we'll be looking for the driver and will charge them with hit and run. The house he was parked outside of called 911 and got us a partial plate."
"What can I do?" I needed something to keep me occupied, something to keep my mind from wandering.
"Mrs. Cullen, all you can do is pray for your husband's recovery. I informed the doctors that you were here. They'll come out and let you know how he is doing after his surgery. Surround yourself with your family; they tend to be helpful in times like this. I'll let you know if we have an update of any kind."
"Thank you, Detective." I sat down in the waiting room and it seemed like the time dragged on. After what felt like forever, a doctor came out and looked right at me.
"Mrs. Cullen, it's so nice to meet you. I'm Doctor Schmitt, and I did Mr. Cullen's surgery. I know your husband from the hospital, although I've never met you. I wish we could've under different circumstances. Edward is out of surgery. We had to remove a part of the brain to reduce the swelling. The part we removed might have affected some of his memory, but should not be too severe. He has something called T.B.I., or in layman's terms, Traumatic Brain Injury. Basically that just means that the way his head quickly struck the windshield caused his brain to jolt and swelling to result. We managed to get the swelling under control. Edward is in a medically induced coma right now, and will be for the next few hours to let his brain recover."
"Can I come see him and stay with him?" I needed to hold his hand, and see that he was okay.
"Yes you can, we can put a cot in their so you can stay with him overnight. We had to shave Edward's head in order to open his head for the surgery. He looks different, but just keep an open mind that he will get better. In the car crash, his arm was also broken, and he fractured some ribs. I foresee a good recovery though, and am optimistic about his case. Do you have any questions?"
"Can I go to his room now?" He nodded and led me down the hallway and to the left, showing me the room that had Edward's name on the door.
"If you need anymore information, just ask for me at the nurse's station." I nodded and walked into Edward's room, gasping as I saw him.
His head was bandaged, no wild bronze hair peaking through. His arm was wrapped up in a cast, and he had a tube in his mouth, most likely helping him breath. The monitor next to him indicated his heart rate, which was strong.
I covered my mouth to muffle the sob that ripped through me. The chair next to him looked inviting, so I pulled it up to his bed, holding his good hand and laying my head down on the bed; letting the tears fall down my face.
"I'm so sorry, Edward. Please just be okay. I don't want to live without you." I didn't want the last conversation with Edward to be about how I wanted a divorce. How much I didn't need him in my life. I felt like none of that mattered anymore, because all that did mattered was Edward getting better.
I fell asleep soon after getting in his room, feeling emotionally drained, and physically.
The next morning I woke up to incessant poking on my shoulder. I groaned as I started to lift my head, my back and neck aching in protest.
"The beast awakes I see." How was it that Alice was managing to be so perky?
"Ali, you should let her sleep. She called late last night and was probably up for ever." Oh Jasper, always her voice of reason when she got crazy and out of control.
"Its 11 o'clock Jazz, she'll be fine. She can go back into her deep sleep after we leave."
"Eh, I prefer to sleep some more. Why did security even let you in Alice?" I lifted my head up and saw her smiling bright, in a bright pink shirt and cute white, flowing skirt. She stuck her tongue out at me for that last comment.
"So how's he doing?" For a moment I could forget the current situation, but her question brought me right back in.
"Well he was in a car accident, and hit his head against the windshield when he was reaching for something in back while he was parked. Someone in a truck rammed him from behind and took off. They had to do surgery to reduce the swelling and had to remove part of his brain, so his memory might be comprised a bit. They've got him in a coma right now, but they'll take him out of it once they feel its okay to."
"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. Do you need us to take Sophie? We'll take care of her if you want to stay at the hospital."
"No, no it's okay. I think I'll go home soon and relieve your parents of their duties. She'll be a very hungry girl soon, and she normally doesn't like just anything for lunch."
"How are you doing though, Bella?" Ah Jasper, always the caring one. His job as a psychologist was definitely a good choice for him.
"Exhausted, I mean, when I got that phone call…I imagined the absolute worst. I thought that I had gotten the call that he was dead. I mean," tears started in my eyes, "I can't lose him. I thought that's what I wanted but I was wrong."
"What do you mean when you say you thought you wanted him gone? What aren't you telling us Bella?"
"I asked Edward for a divorce yesterday while we were at therapy." Alice's mouth dropped and I held up a finger to let me continue. "I saw Kate when we were clubbing and she told me her and Edward were still together. I knew it wasn't true but it brought up everything that I was insecure about in our relationship again. I couldn't just sweep up my feelings under the rug and pretend that I still didn't feel like I trusted Edward. I just blurted it out that I wanted a divorce, and then bullshitted my way through it because I'd convinced myself that I didn't want him anymore. This whole thing made me realize that I don't want to be away for a minute from Edward. We need to get our heads out of our asses and just deal with it. If he even remembers me…" Tears sprouted in my eyes, not realizing the full affect of his injury.
"Bells, he's going to remember you! You are the best thing that's ever happened to him, Sophie too. No accident could change that."
"Thanks Ali, you're the greatest best friend a girl could ask for." She smiled brightly.
"It's my job." She said simply, and shrugged her shoulders. "Now let's go find a doctor and see how my idiot brother is doing."
The nurses came in periodically to check his vitals, and the doctor had no update. "We'll take him in for an M.R.I. and see how the swelling is doing. We can gauge from there when we can take him out of the coma."
While Edward was getting tested, I was left with my thoughts, wandering out to the waiting room where Alice and Jasper were getting all of us coffee. It was there I found the rest of my family.
Leave me love! Every review is like a big, warm, gigantic hug from Channing Tatum :) Or so a girl could hope! REVIEW PLEASE! Hope to see ya soon!