Captain Planet does not belong to me. The show itself is older than I am.

NOTE: This isn't a chapter-by-chapter story; things will not occur in chronological order. This story comes in SNIPPETS. What scenes I think of first come first. It is up to YOU to put them in order as you read.

WARNING: There may be some content in here that you'll find shocking, disgusting or offensive. This is NOT a kid friendly story. There will be violence, sexual content, some nudity and maybe some very offensive language. In fact, if you're squeamish, then you better walk away.

However, this chapter only has language.


~The Angry Lioness

"The first annual Eco-Awards show is about to begin in about thirty minutes and our most anticipated guests have still yet to arrive. Almost everybody is walking the green carpet now, but I can't wait for the Planeteers to arrive."

The Eco-Awards was the first award show to honor people for their efforts in saving the planet. The carpet was green and the statuettes were made from recycled aluminum. Instead of a fancy theater, the show took place in Edentu, the bio-dome created by scientist Dr. Derrek. The Perfect World gave guests beautiful nature scenery with the certain guarantee that they wouldn't be rained on.

Most of the guests there were hardly known by pop culture for their great efforts while in the real world, the unthankful were being praised for nothing. But still, cameras flashed around the green carpet, catching a mix of eco-leaders and down-to-earth celebrities alike.

"Bambi, what are you anticipating most?" the male interviewer asked. The screens changed to a shot of Bambi Blight, her hair in a bun and her body draped in pink.

"I'm actually looking forward to what the Planeteers are wearing. They don't get dressed up very often so it'll be nice to see them all glammed up. I heard they got stylists so they should look fabulous." Bambi looked around the camera recording her to see the yellow cruiser in the sky. "Here they come, in their Geo Cruiser of course! Who needs a limousine, am I right? Especially those Hummers."

"Talk about a monster truck. Plus it's a sure way to make an entrance!"

The first one out was the fire boy, covered in a black suit with a shiny red tie. His girlfriend, the bird lover, was wearing gold, the skirt of her dress and her clutch feathered. For once, her golden hair was side swept, showing off her earrings.

The tree grower from Africa jumped out in a grey suit with black trousers. His tie was printed with a traditional African pattern. He gave his friend a hand as she stepped out in a blue gown that reached the grass. Lastly, the youngest was in a navy colored suit with a matching bow tie.

"I'm going to give them a couple of moments before I run up to them like a crazed fan girl. But I have to say I'm impressed with what the stylists have done."

"I like how Linka, with the wind ring, is wearing a feathered dress and that Gi, the water girl, is wearing a flowing blue gown. They suit the girls very well."

The Planeteers were waving as camera bulbs popped in every direction. Their attention was mostly on Linka and Wheeler who were holding hands. They got to the backdrop, letting the photographers snap more pictures of them. For once they were getting some star treatment for their hard work.

"We're going to take a commercial break and when we return, I will be interviewing them."

"Thank you Bambi. We'll return right after this."

"I am here with the Planeteers, five young people who make a serious difference in our world. With the power of the elements and an eco-friendly superhero, they have the whole planets attention. Now for the ladies; Linka, I have to get this question out of the way because they pay me to. Who are you wearing?"

"I'm not so good with designer names. Matthew Williamson I think." Gi snuck up from behind to check the label.

"It is." She confirmed.

"And are those feathers real?"

Linka shook her head. "Nyet. I would never."

"Well you look gorgeous tonight and I love what you did with you hair."

"Thank you."

"Now Gi, same question. Who are you wearing?"

"This is a Jason Wu."

"I see you have a dolphin ring and an octopus bracelet. I love it. And this jeweled collar, it's very cool."

"Thank you."

"And of course," Bambi shed some light on the boys. "You men look dashing."

"Aren't you gonna ask me who I'm wearing?" Wheeler joked, flaring open his jacket. Bambi chuckled in response.

"Now to the stuff that matters. You have been a team for six years now and still going strong. You've been on many adventures together. What are some of your most memorable missions?"

She placed the microphone in front of Kwame. He was always used to being first. He told her briefly about stopping Plunder from killing off elephants for their ivory and pointed out that they reunited one of the freed elephants with her baby.

"That's a good question." Wheeler began when the microphone was given to him. "I met this kid who we rescued when his school bus was in trouble. He kind of worshipped me. It's memorable because he was not only grateful for us helping him, he wanted to be us. And to me, that's flattering."

"Well Wheeler you're just the guy a child can look up to. What about you Linka?"

She had been thinking as Kwame and Wheeler were answering. What was the most memorable eco-emergency?

"Definitely saving those people from that deadly mudslide. These people literally lived in homes made of paper stacked on one another and we got to see the effects of overpopulation. It's sad because they have children to help them out but they need to provide for them, and resources are very scarce."

"My goodness it must be so hard for them."

Gi told Bambi that any mission involving marine life was memorable enough, and Ma-Ti mentioned the 'rat rot' incident that he resolved. The countdown timer on the TV screens were getting close to twenty minutes left.

"So do you guys think you'll win tonight?" Bambi asked her final question.

"We should." Said Wheeler, being cocky like he was sometimes. "We almost got killed many times."

"Maybe." Gi responded. "Are we up for an award? I mean, I know Linka and I are presenting."

"Well with the hard work you've all done, you deserve more appreciation than 'thank yous' and complements." Bambi commented. "And I say that for everyone you've helped out in the past, including me."

"An award would be nice to be proud of." Said Ma-Ti. "But it's the pride we care most about."

"Well thank you guys for giving me your time. Enjoy the show tonight and good luck with your presentation, girls."

"Thank you."

"Now here to present the award for cruelty-free beauty, the Planeteer ladies themselves Linka and Gi." Dr. Derrek rolled herself away from the center of the stage as the girls made their way out. They spent a long time working on their speech and for the first time ever, presenting an award on live TV. Wheeler even looked over it to make sure Linka didn't get any terms wrong.

Wheeler whistled behind the camera giving Linka a slight smirk. They stood in front of the microphone stand, waiting for everyone to stop.

"As girls, we have our natural insecurities." Linka started, trying to speak as clearly as possible. She saw on the screen preview in front of her that she was being subtitled. "Most of us want to feel like Disney princesses. But with how or bodies act, it's not always easy. Makeup helps."

"But many makeup companies today are still using monkeys and rabbits to test their products. And if you think they're just putting makeup an these animals, you're dead wrong." Gi proceeded.

"We have seen first hand for ourselves what goes on in those labs." Linka continued, still being subtitled. "They we're being tortured in ways too graphic for public television. It was a horrific experience." The girls had planned to add 'Fuck you Procter and Gamble' to their speech but since they were on TV, they had no idea what that would say to the viewers. "We realized beauty has a bigger price."

"But thankfully there are companies who have some common decency to not practice this. And if you ask them, they'll tell you how much more money they save."

"Here are the nominees for Best Cruelty-Free Makeup." The cameras were looking at the nominees now.

"Best cruelty free makeup?" Blight spat. "What a joke! Who gives a fuck?"

"May I remind you last time you tested on animals, you got your head shaved by a monkey." Said MAL happily. This was something her partners didn't know about. She told them she did it herself. But since the truth was revealed, the others couldn't stop laughing. Greedly snorted for a whole minute.

"The winner is…" Gi opened the envelope, Linka looking over her shoulder.

"Laurie Saunders!"

There was more applause as Laurie went up to accept her award.

"Hate that bitch." Blight grumbled. "I hate them all."

"Great." Nukem cut in. "Can we change it back to 'Say Yes to the Dress' now?"

"Yeah! I wanna know which gown Katie picks, yip yip." Rigger chirped. Blight rolled her eyes.

"You guys are retarded."

We now return to the 2012 Eco-Awards, live from the Edentu.

Presenting the final awards of the evening, Sky Runner and Jayne Alvers.

The live audience applauded as the Native American musician walked out with the New York-born rocker. Six trophies were already on the shelves of the podium, colored differently and specially engraved. The Planeteers were especially thrilled to see Sky Runner finally on the stage.

Jayne adjusted the microphone stand. The slight struggle had the audience laughing for a bit, especially when Sky Runner tried to help her.

"There, alright!" They finally fixed it. "Now for the moment that they always save for the end to keep you here." She started, getting a slight chuckle from everyone. "It's the Eco-Hero of the Year award."

"And this year, we're giving out six." Sky Runner added. "We're doing it this year to get them out of the way."

"Because the recipients of this award would have to win it eventually anyway."

"She's talking about us. Jayne Alvers is talking about us!" Wheeler whispered to Linka who shrugged. Did he mean that as a fan of hers or a super fan?

Captain Planet was now sitting with them at their table. Summoning him on TV would steal the rest of the show.

"Of course he is." The Captain chuckled. "There's six of us."

"These young people have come together from different continents of the planet in an effort to tame the destruction it is plagued with. Sometimes they were cleaning up the mess a disaster would leave, other times they were fighting crime against sludge spewing villains. They are Earths superheros."

"And with their powers combined, they summon Earths greatest champion."

"He wears a red speedo, has a green mullet, and sparkles like Edward Cullen. Unlike Edward Cullen, everything else." Jaynes famous sarcastic attitude came into play.

"That's a compliment Cap." Wheeler told him. "No guy, wants to be seen as a that stupid 'vampire'."

"And still he looks pretty damn good." She commented further.

"These kids posed as circus performers one time to rescue just one panda and dressed as the Flintstones in order to save the network in which is airing this show. They called themselves the 'Filthstones' and the villains bought it."

Jayne laughed at that remark. Cleaver, very cleaver indeed.

"One is a man from Africa who in his free time loves to plant trees. With his ring, he has planted thousands in his free time." Jayne waited, indicating that the audience had to clap after each sentence now.

"There is also a man from Brooklyn who plays with fire, as he risks his life for other people." Wheeler looked up at Sky Runner, who he once didn't like, now honored by the singers definition of him.

"And a woman from Russia who will blow you away if you harm her feathered friends."

"Could use some work." Linka commented.

"Including a woman from Asia whose love for marine life is as great as the tsunamis she can create."

"He writes better ones than she does." Gi stated.

"The one about Cap was pretty good though." Wheeler told her.

"And a man from a South American tribe, who never runs out of heart."

"This years awards come out to Captain Planet and the Planeteers."

"Look at them. Just look at them!" Blight sneered. "They're acting like they won a fucking Oscar."

Obviously, they didn't watch the whole show; it was a snore fest of tree huggers praising each other for doing things that most of the public wouldn't give a shit about.

"Wait… you mean those actors were them?" Nukem shouted, suddenly remembering the time they took over that TV network.

"Yes dumbass!" Skumm snapped. "You're the one who let them through, remember?"

"They said they were hired by us!"

Plunder rolled his eyes but then smiled. "Looks like Blondie tripped up the stairs."

The screen showed Linka being helped up after not watching her step and falling forward.

"That girl needs to put some meat on her." Greedly commented, right after he swallowed a Blimp Burger whole. "Or she had too much damn vodka."

"Maybe you should give her some of yours." Blight suggested. Though it sounded like a funny insult she was being serious. Greedlys lackey reacted with a cackle. Greedly grabbed the 'henchman' by his tooth and turned his head.

"Shut up you fool!"

"Wow… I mean I never thought they'd make an award show for people like us. And when we got invited, I was wondering…" Gi was on the microphone stand, holding her faux gold trophy. "There are too many people to thank, first of all my teammates including Captain Planet…"

"Neither did we." Plunder grumbled.

"They're all ass kissers." Skumm added. "Look at Blondie! She looks like she's ready to faint!"

"Maybe she will. Now is she the one you guys want to pick?"

"Fuck yeah!" Sludge shouted.

"Saying 'fuck' doesn't make you any cooler Sludge." Plunder flared. "Shut the fuck up. And yes, we're taking that one."

"I really don't know what to say." Linka began. "This is such an honor that words cannot describe. I think I'm dreaming. But I want to thank everyone who has inspired me through the years including my teammates and Captain Planet."

"That was short." Nukem huffed. "Alright, is there a new 'Yes to the Dress' on now?"

That's probably to most friendly chapter I'll ever write for this one. So enjoy it. And review. I like reviews obviously.