1. Ivan/Eben's head
The Vandenreich leader glanced over at his long-haired follower. The young man had picked up the disembodied head of Asquiaro Ebern, the Arrancar under their 'employment' who had recently gone up against the Shinigami hybrid Ichigo Kurosaki. Even though he had accomplished his mission, according to his superiors' words, he was still killed. Arrancar were expendable, after all.
The Leader raised an eyebrow, puzzled. "You do know that is the man's head, don't you?" It was getting blood all over the floor.
With a smirk, the blonde Quincy began moving Ebern's limp jaw, making it appear as if it were speaking. "Oh, no, my lord, it seems I have mistakenly lost my body! Wherever could it be?"
The Vandenreich Leader furrowed his brow.
"I am just a lowly Arrancar! I can't even appreciate the wonderful fashion skills of the glorious Quincy, all of this lovely white and blue, it's just too much for my filthy eyes! No sirree, I just can't take it!"
A tiny smile broke out on his chiseled face, like a crack etching along a stone surface.
"It's all thanks to his Quincy-ship that I can fly around without the burden of my hideous, worthless body! Wheeeeee...! Uh-oh, here comes those nasty hollows again! I'm gonna eat them this time! Waka waka waka waka!"
Suddenly, the Vandenreich Leader's smile faded away. "Alright, now you're just being annoying." he spoke softly and coldly.
He stuck out his hand, and in an instant, Ebern's head popped like a balloon. The blonde Quincy stared at his bloody hands for a few moments before finally deciding to excuse himself. Even though it may have not been obvious to the untrained eye, their emperor was clearly pissed off. It was probably for the best to just leave him be until they left to attack Soul Society.
2. Pony enthusiasm
The line of captured Arrancar were slowly led across the gray desert by the Quincy Hollow Hunting Squad. Many of the transformed Hollow were draped in long, torn robes, their hands chained together with shackles devised of pure spirit energy. They walked and walked, eventually coming to a stop before a man who, despite wearing the same uniform as his followers, carried a far different air. He was clearly the captain of this small group within the Vandenreich's order.
"Order, order!" announced the glasses-wearing Quincy, "My name is Kirge Opie. We will now be holding a big selection tournament for both Arrancar and Hollows. Who will live? Who will die? Starting from the right side of this row, I will stab each of you to death in order. Do you wish to live? Do you wish to join us? Then boldly announce the name of your favorite My Little Pony character! You were all chosen because you can reach ranks above your dead comrades! Please don't mess up this precious chance!"
One of the Arrancar timidly pulled back his hood. "Can...can I be spared if I say that my favorite pony is Fluttershy...?"
"Nein! That's not how it works!" Kirge Opie unsheathed a a blade of pure reishi and thrust it deep into the Arrancar's torso, killing him.
"Fluttershy?" Opie screeched as he continued to gorge the corpse, "Fluttershy? You dare be joking, scum! That little bitch may think she can fool us all with her big, bright eyes and soft-spoken ways, but she is nothing but a snake! An evil creature who wishes only to feast upon the souls of naive, brainless idiots like yourself! Her cuteness is only tied to her shyness; if she were not shy, you would not nearly be smitten with her! You now nothing! The only pony worth of anyone's love is Pinkie Pie! Do you understand? Pinkie Pie! She is the party-loving pony with a heart of gold and a childlike innocence! How could anyone possibly not love her on first sight? Forget Rainbow Dash, forget Rarity, and forget that goddamn Applejack! Pinkie Pie is your savior!"
Another Arrancar decided to speak up. "I...I love Pinkie Pie! She's definitely my favorite character" He was accordingly struck down by an arrow fired from the tip of Kirge's sword.
"Nein! That is wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! You have to say it with more feeeeeeeeeling...! Pinkie Pie deserves more than that disgustingly half-assed cry of devotion! You neanderthals don't seem to understand how important it is to cherish your own life! Very well! If you won't try, you may as well hand over your lives right now! I shall collect them in an orderly fashion!"
As the Captain continued to murder the helpless Arrancar one after another, two of his subordinates watched on. One wore an expression of slight apprehension, while the other remained calm and collected.
"Is the captain really going to collect any Arrancar?" asked the first.
"Of course not." replied the other matter-of-factly.
"...Why is he rambling on about ponies, anyway? What's that about?"
"I don't really know. No one does. He just started bringing it up one day. We decided it's better not to question it."
Buzzbee didn't like this. He really didn't. Unfortunately, he had little choice but to do it.
As he took his seat in the barber's chair, he grimaced a little as he saw Bambietta's beaming face over his shoulder in the mirror's reflection. She draped a long white cloth over his body to keep the stray hair from getting all over his clothes. Bambietta picked up a comb and a pair of scissors off of a nearby counter, and held them close to Buzzbee's afro.
"Thanks again for letting me practice my hair-styling on you, Buzzbee! I've been dying to find someone new to work on ever since NaNaNa!" Bambietta exclaimed with a girlish chuckle. Buzzbee gulped; the scissors in her hand was like a guillotine of death for his poor hair. Ever since the young Quincy had expressed an interest in becoming a hair stylist to make some money on the side, the Vandenreich leader had been suspiciously supportive of the idea. Almost everyone in the Stern Ritter had their hair done by Bambietta already. Some were more lucky than others.
"Okay...so what kind of hair do you want?" Bambietta asked him.
Buzzbee thought about it for a moment. "Well...anything that doesn't look stupid, anyway."
"Nothing I make looks stupid."
"Yes...of course nothing does..."
"Well, then, I think a 'Quincy Cross' cut would be best, don't you think?"
Buzzbee quickly jumped to his feet and darted for the door. "Fuck this, I'm getting a mohawk!" He didn't even bother removing the bib before disappearing from the room. Bambietta was at a loss for words, but then she started to tear up.
It had been the first time in a long while since Buzzbee visited the human world. It was just as despicable of a planet as he remembered, but as a human himself, he still needed sustenance and entertainment, so it was the only place that could provide him with such things. On this particular day, he entered a convenience store in America. They could travel to anywhere in the world they wished, thanks to their particular powers.
'Let's see...what should I get?'
He passed over by the magazine section. He caught sight of a rather interesting piece of literature, a comic book. The front cover depicted a caped crusader riding through a rainy night on his motorcycle. The title of the piece was 'Batman'. Of course, Buzzbee would have been turned off by such a ridiculous title, but the cover image really grabbed his attention. He flipped through some of the pages and stopped on a particular one. His eyes were drawn to a panel at the top-right of the page.
It was an old man with white hair, a white moustache, and glasses. According to the dialogue, his name was Commissioner Gordon. Buzzbee peered closer. He looked exactly like a certain bespectacled, mustachioed member of the Stern Ritter.