Disclaimer: I don't own Thor.
Summary: His visits to the broken bridge have become like clockwork, with the same question leaving his lips each time, "Can you see her?" ThorJane, post-movie, oneshot
This is a first! Normally, I write about Loki, but I just really wanted to write about Thor and Jane and what might have occurred post-movie and all that jazz. I'm actually kind of nervous about posting this - even though it's extremely short - since this is a first for me, but yeah! I just was struck with this idea and thought it was really interesting. I just hope y'all enjoy!
Pit and Pendulum
The whole thing still looks rather jarring.
Thor can hardly believe it himself, the way that the bridge had crumpled under the might of Mjolnir and the force of the blows that powered it. Though, he shouldn't have been surprised. Stranger things had happened. Still, if someone had voiced to him long ago that he would be the one who would do such a thing, he would have laughed.
Still, that doesn't make it any less strange.
His feet have felt heavier as of late. He feels as if his entire being has been carved out of the strongest element, the one with the most resistance to anything that wills it to change, only to allow him unworried movement when he makes his way to Heimdall each day.
This routine…it keeps him distracted. It keeps him sane. It keeps him connected.
The loss of his brother is still fierce in his chest, and coupled with the longing to see her, makes some things unbearable.
But he must carry on. He knows this, feels it strongly, but her absence is as if a hole had been punched through his universe. Coupling that with the gaping chasm left by his brother's death, he's surprised his universe is even whole.
Still, he finds that this particular action every day saves him, for lack of a better word.
The journey to Heimdall is something that he looks forward to. It gives him a better sense of purpose. Though, he cannot help but think of the irony of it all - the place that gives him most grief, the place where he lost his brother, is his only connection to the human woman he loves.
He knows that Heimdall can see him coming even before he leaves his chambers, but he does not mind this. In fact, if Heimdall did not notice, it would cause Thor great worry. His boots sound heavy as they meet with the remnants of the Rainbow Bridge. He strides with purpose, confident as a default setting for him, not allowing the weight on his shoulders to shame him into meeting with the dirt.
"I was wondering whether you'd show," Heimdall's voice breaks the silence, deep and all-important.
"Surely you do not think me that fickle, Heimdall?" Thor replies, a humorous edge to his voice.
Heimdall stands, statuesque, at the edge of the broken bridge, the same stance he has taken up since the event that changed Asgard. "Not at all." He does not look away from where he is staring.
"Can you see her?" the question is inevitable - unnecessary, even - but it must be asked.
The flecks of gold that make up Heimdall's irises do not move, but he says, "Surely you do not think me that incapable, Thor."
A smile quirks Thor's lips. "Of course not."
"She sleeps," he replies. "Against her will. She would forgo the ritual if possible to search for you."
Worry strikes Thor in his chest. He has not known of a woman that has ever made him feel this way, or this strongly. "Anyway you can tell her to cease from doing that?" he asks, his voice light, but Heimdall senses his discomfort.
"I apologize," his voice is truly remorseful. "That is beyond even my reach."
Thor nods in understanding, stepping closer, leaning forward as if that action alone would allow him a brief glimpse of his Jane.
He does not like imagining her so exhausted, so bedraggled, over her search for him. He can see her almost as clearly as if she were right in front of him, her hair a mess on her head, her eyes bloodshot but determined and strong in their intelligence. Maybe a writing utensil would be perched behind her ear, or between her lips. Maybe Erik would be around, or Darcy would pour her a drink. Maybe she would murmur his name in her slumber, but Thor does not dare to hope for that much.
"She should not put herself in discomfort for me," he says, his deep voice holding more emotion than he intended.
"She does not find it to be uncomfortable," Heimdall replies, matter-of-fact. "She would find it unbearable to not be searching."
A smile breaks across Thor's face. That did sound true to her character, but it did not ease the face that she was suffering for his sake. Thor closes his eyes and tries to right the world, but he finds that not even he can do that at this moment, not at this time. He has all the strength in the world, but not enough to bring him back to Midgard.
He inhales deeply, the pressure of failure on his chest. She is doing something - actively doing something - and all he can do is stand here and wait.
So he does, but with much difficulty.
Thor waits with one thought on his mind, one particular promise:
He will see Jane Foster again.