"I'm so angry, but I'd really rather kiss you."

Crossover fic. Rizzoli & Isles, Glee, Star Trek Voyager, SC Chronicles, Harry Potter

Pairings: Jane/Maura, Rachel/Quinn, Seven/B'Elanna, Sarah/Cameron, and Hermione/Luna.

Author: myIllusion

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended.

Chapter I: One is a lonely number.

Rachel, Seven, Cameron, Maura, and Luna.

"Oh...oh...YES!" Rachel squealed, she jumped out of the chair she was seated in and started pacing around the room, all the while clapping her hands together with an occasional vertical hop thrown in for good measure.

"I would love for Quinn to have at least two. It seems so limiting to only have one, now that I'm aware there are other options." The little diva absently blew a puff of air at her bangs, (which needed to be trimmed) she straightened the hem of her favorite butterfly sweater while silently hoping her camera eyes were recording these strange events. She also wondered if they could even work while traversing through the Delta Quadrant at Warp speed.

"Ahh...um... Ms. Berry, try not to get too excited about the prospect, there are many...ah..um...concerns and probable obstacles to your current line of thought."

The Doctor (Emergency Medical Hologram) was completely baffled. What was Captain Janeway thinking? Why would she consider breaking the Prime Directive and every known temporal paradox to bring these women aboard Voyager?

And why?...why?...why?...why?... would she think him capable of being their counselor? Well, perhaps because of his unequivocal skills, which, (if he did say so himself) were unsurpassed by any EMH in the current timeline. Also, all those hours of training on the holo-deck, listening to that windbag Dr. Freud drone on and on about the Oeidipus comple..-"

"Why would there be a problem?" That daft looking silvery haired Witch asked; her voice was soft and dreamy, her big blue eyes were full of innocence and wonder.

What was her name again? Ah, yes, Ms. Lovegood. How does one acquire a name like Lovegood? Not to mention this whole Wizardry and Witchcraft nonsense! Hocus-Pocus? Abracadabra incantations? What was the Captain thinki...-

"Ahem..." The Doctor cleared his throat, banishing his inner rant with the sudden realization that five sets of female peepers were inexorably fixated upon him.

"...Yes, well, first of all, there is the consideration that it is physically impossible for such a condition to just 'spontaneously' occur on a human female. Secondly, even if a functional and cosmetic solution were possible, who would you get to perform the surgery? And, thirdly, don't you think, Ms. Berry, it would be respectful of you to consult with Ms. Fabray on the matter?... before blurting out your wild fantasies to a room full of strangers you only just met?"

The Doctor listed his concerns rather passionately. He 'tsked, tsked' the little diva (who was really quite adorable when she pouted) then shot Ms. Lovegood a look of utter contempt. Spells and potions, indeed! But, before the good Doctor could move the conversation forward, that wretched little Witch pulled a stick out of her hair; she waved it in his face and exclaimed:

"Multiplicitoria Clitoria.! "

Squeals of delight! Accompanied by more clapping and jumping up and down.

"Oh my! That is extraordinary, Luna, but why did you put them on his forehead? I know that Jane would be distressed to have them placed in that particular location. I am hoping she will have an open mind, however; if we could get together later to discuss the particulars of this unique science, and, barring any possible side effects, I would very much like to learn how...- "

But Maura's inquiry was interrupted by another excited source in the room. She didn't mind at all, considering the very interesting instructional example that was subsequently shared with the group.

"Could you do that for me Luna? Sarah doesn't need an extra one because of what I can do with my tongue." Cameron opened her mouth and proceeded to demonstrate her tongue fluttering, flittering, and flicking super power. WOW! "I wouldn't mind having an extra one though... or two... or three even." The lovely cyborg's lips curled up slightly, her eyes glowed blue as she considered the possibilities.

Seven of Nine (Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One) sat in her chair, posture erect, wearing a smug grin. She was the only member of this Therapy Collective whose girlfriend had 'dual clitori!' That smug grin wavered for a moment as the beautiful blonde Borg considered the possible 1,769 reactions B'Elanna might have - if she became aware that Seven was, once again, discussing (bragging about) the details of their copulation.

The poor Emergency Medical Hologram! He stood in the middle of the room fondling his forehead and squeaking every time he made contact with one of the little nub like protrusions. It felt rather nice, however; kind of tingly and warm, and very sensitive and... and...and...

"Bbbb...bb...but I'm a Hologram! I can't feel things. I...I...I don't feel pain or pleasuuurre...oooooohhh...ahh... " Throughout his whole objection, the Doctor kept stroking away at his forehead. "ooooooooooohhhh...eeeeeeee." Until, finally...

...the Doc passed out.

Elsewhere on the ship, (in the Captain's ready room) a bowl of popcorn was being shared as Katherine and her friend entertained themselves while watching the live feed of the therapy group in session.

Snickers could be heard, and then giggles, and finally, peals and peals of laughter...