So far, it had been a normal November day for Perry the Platypus. Wake up at 5:15, watch as the boys and Candace eat breakfast and get ready for school, see the kids off from behind a frosty window pane, lounge in his pet bed until Linda and Lawrence were gone, and watch soaps until the inevitable call came from Major Monogram. He was used to the routine. During the summer he cherished his few free moments alone in the house, but in the winter solitude was chill and grey and depressing. Perry was thankful for the opportunity to get out of the house and thwart his nemesis.

Today was going to be even lonelier than usual. Phineas and Ferb were going on an overnight class field trip, and Linda and Lawrence wouldn't return from that antiques auction until 10 or 11 at night. He wouldn't even have Candace for company; she had elected to spend the night at Stacey's rather than be alone in the house.

For this reason, Perry hadn't been upset at all when the call to go and stop the evil scientist had come later than usual, a mere half hour before school let out. He hoped Heinz had come up with a decent plan today. Perry shivered as he hit the acceleration of his vehicle -the OWCA really needed to invest money in the "roofs and heaters" department- excitement for the upcoming battle overcoming his depression about that night.

Finally! He felt a euphoric sensation as he jumped from his vehicle onto the open patio of the DEI Building, but he kept his expression stoic. Perry noticed that the patio door was unlocked. He opened the door and hurried inside to find-

Ropes sprang up from an unknown location, lifting Perry by his torso so that he was hanging upside down in the middle of the room. Perry focused on remaining still so that his hat wouldn't fall from his head; he only resorted to that cheap trick if he was truly stumped or if there was a dire emergency. It wasn't fair to Heinz to abuse his naivety like that.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus! Right on schedule! And by "right on schedule" I mean "much too early!" The scientist almost looked sheepish. "Or maybe I mean 'much too late.' I'm not really sure. You see, Perry the Platypus, I was planning on -wait, why is your face all scrunched up like that?" Heinz moved closer until he was almost nose-to-beak with the monotreme. Perry chattered, and his hat slipped from his head.

"Oh, your little fedora was loose!" Heinz bent to retrieve the item and Perry nodded gratefully. Apparently the scientist could recognize him if he actually witnessed the hat's removal. Who knew? "Here, I'll just put this on more snug…" Heinz mumbled as he put one hand on either side of Perry's face and firmly yet gently replaced the fedora. "There you go!"

Before Perry could move or Heinz had a chance to remove his hands, they heard the front door slam. Still nose-to-beak with human hands cupping platypus cheeks, Vanessa entered the room and stopped short. She was clearly holding back a laugh, and Perry's face became hot when he realized just how close Heinz actually was to him. "Krkrkrkrkrkr" he chattered angrily, and Heinz finally came out of his trance.

"Oh, hi Vanessa! How was school?"

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Vanessa grinned.

"Of course not, sweetie. I was just about to explain the change of plans to Perry the Platypus."

"I see. Well, I'll go put my bag away and let you two…finish up." Vanessa snorted again as she turned and left the room.

Heinz turned to face Perry again, his body language indicating that he hadn't even picked up on Vanessa's joke. "You are probably wondering why my daughter is here on a school night. Well, let me back up to where we were a moment ago and explain. You see, I had an evil scheme for today! It was truly diabolical. But now it will have to wait. You see, Charlene and her new fiance are going out of town tonight and there have been some burglaries in their neighborhood recently, so Charlene decided that Vanessa should stay with me tonight."

At this, Heinz began to tear up. "Oh Perry the Platypus, I'm so happy and so sad right now. Two emotions in an eternal struggle to- oh, I'm probably confusing you." Heinz paused to wipe his eyes on his sleeve. "You see, Charlene and I got divorced when Vanessa was six. Right before my little baby girl started first grade. As you know, I have custody every other weekend. So, in all these years, I've never had an opportunity to be a parent on a school night."

"She's a junior in high school, Perry the Platypus! And tonight will be my first real foray into being a parent on a school night. I'm so excited and nervous! I want to do a good job! I want to be responsible and firm to make sure she succeeds, but I also want her to have fun! It's a… it's a juggling act. And I can't draw any experience from my own parents because, as you can imagine, they were absolutely horrible!"

At this, Heinz pulled a remote out of his lab coat and pressed a button. Perry fell on the carpet. "You see, that's why I said you were early. I hadn't had time to turn the trap off because I was too busy reprogramming my -Inator."

Vanessa reentered the room and glanced down at the platypus. "Is Perry staying for dinner?" she asked kindly.

"I don't know; I haven't asked him. Would you like that, sweetie?"

"Sure. I don't care, as long as you two don't fight or anything."

Vanessa left the room again, and Heinz looked down at Perry. "So, Perry the Platypus, would you like to stay? You can help make sure I don't do anything stupid! I'm so new at this! I'll mess up!" Perry looked unsure. "Look, all we have to do is eat dinner (which I'll cook, by the way, so no worries!), make sure she does her homework, find some family event that she won't think is lame, and make sure she gets to bed at a decent time. You don't have to stick around for that last part."

Perry thought about his empty house. He thought of all the nights when he had so desperately wanted to help his kids with their homework, or join them in a game, or sit at the table with the family and smile at the stories told during dinner.

Oh, what the hell. Heinz probably needed all the help he could get. Perry nodded and smiled.


Perry loves Phineas, Ferb, and Candace like they were his own children. Unfortunately, he can't usually interact with them in the most meaningful of ways.

We know Heinz (and possibly Vanessa) consider Perry the Platypus to be a part of their family. I thought it would be nice to see them interact more.