Author's Note: I posted this story a few years ago under my old pen name, but later deleted it. Now I'm posting it again.
Nineteen Years—and Nineteen Children—Later.
It was the social event of the year in the magical world. Over a thousand guests of all shapes and sizes had gathered beneath a crystal dome over a thousand meters-wide set on a lush tropical island. At the center of this pageantry were three individuals. Two of them were teenagers: one a Veela with long black hair, and the other an extremely handsome wizard with green eyes. They were both standing before a much older and uglier wizard dressed in a magnificent, jewel-incrusted, red robe.
"My dear friends, we are gathered here in the sight of my God to join together Victoire Snape and... Ted Potter in holy matrimony."
In all his travels around the world Harry had yet to met anyone who could convey so much disdain with a simple pause as Severus Snape could. He was making Teddy so nervous that the boy's hair unintentionally changed color from black to green, something that hadn't happened since his eighth birthday party. Hedwig, acting as her brother's best person, reached over and gently ruffled his hair until it changed back to its proper color.
Ginny turned to Luna. "I can't believe you allowed him of all people to conduct the wedding ceremony."
She had a point. Snape was the kind of Roman Catholic Cardinal that only a Borgia would approve of.
"Don't be so dense. No one tells Victoire or her father what to do. Not even the Pope himself. Now be quiet," Luna whispered. Being a mother to eight children had changed his wife's personality. Nowadays she had no problem disciplining their fiery concubine when the situation called for it.
Luna wasn't the only one annoyed with Ginny. Fleur was glaring at her from across the aisle. After all this time the two of them still hated each other with a passion, but Harry didn't mind since their arguments often made Ginny horny. As for Fleur... well, it still amazed him that anyone could look that seductive while dressed as a nun, but somehow the older Veela pulled it off. Of course she was also glaring at him, but an Unbreakable Vow prevented her from doing anything worse.
Harry's and Snape's eyes briefly met. In that short moment they shared an entire silent conversation: they commiserated over the witches in their lives, and how irritating they could be even during a solemn occasion like this. Then Harry smiled and Snape smirked as he continued to recite his part of the wedding ceremony.
If someone had told a younger Harry Potter that his former Potions Professor would end up as one of his closest friends he would have locked the nutter up in a mental institution. But now he couldn't deny that it was true. Of course most of his other friends had died nineteen years ago.
After the destruction of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade Harry went ten straight days without sleeping as he searched the ruins of the castle. He was so hopped up on Invigoration Draughts that the toxic buildup in his blood turned his skin blue and caused his hair to fall out. But no matter how many tons of stone rubble he levitated, he never found any survivors. Only corpses. That bastard William Delacour had killed them all rather than face justice.
A few days after the disaster Snape was forced to leave. The Catholic Church had made countless magical enemies over the past two thousand years, and with Cardinal Wiwa dead those enemies sensed a rare opportunity for revenge. Luckily Snape proved himself worthy of the title Harry obtained for him. The new leader of the Order of Saint Lazarus set out on a series of lightning raids, and eliminated his opponents in a ruthless fashion.
The Pope was impressed not only with Snape's results, but also with his discretion. Staying in the background was a key requirement of the job. Looking back maybe it shouldn't have been so surprising that Snape succeeded in winning over the Vatican. After all, he had fooled Voldemort for years.
During these early raids the new Cardinal accidentally rescued Fleur Delacour. The mercenary group which held her had been hired to loot one of the Church's museums of its magical artifacts, and Snape had been waiting for them. He ordered interrogations for the few survivors, hoping to discover who had hired them. Instead the information lead him back to the mercenary's hideout, and to Fleur.
She had spent only three months with them as a prisoner, but it might as well have been three years given the horrors what she had been subjected to. By this time her mother and sister Gabrielle had both been killed by the rampaging Guerrillas, so she had no choice but to return to the Vatican under Cardinal Snape's personal protection.
Over the next few years she had given him three children despite becoming a nun herself. Apparently this sort of arrangement between priests and nuns was not unknown to the Church, and as long as they didn't flout their relationship in the muggle world they were left alone. Looking at the situation rationally, the Pope recognized that a wizard as powerful and talented as Snape was a rare commodity—even if his personal morality was somewhat lacking.
A lack of personal morality was also one of Harry's weakness, so he really couldn't afford to throw any stones. After the destruction of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade he had retreated to Canada and to Luna. It took the combined labor of his wife, Hermione, Heliopath, and his two children to prevent him from doing something truly stupid. But even with all their efforts, it wasn't enough. Like an idiot he started sleeping with Ginny Weasley.
The young witch was a total wreck. All eight members of her family were now dead, and for some unknown reason Ginny decided that it was Harry's fault. This lead to a series of nasty duels, but the Elder Wand still acknowledged him as its Master, so they were all one-sided affairs. After the duels came the screaming, then the crying, and finally the sex.
Harry might not have liked Ginny, but there was no doubt that he was still attracted to her. After their first time he had gone to Luna and begged for forgiveness. But as she had done before with Andromeda, his wife gave her blessing to the unorthodox arrangement. Harry only figured out why later on when his twin sons Gideon and Fabian Weasley were born. Ginny needed a family, and they were all she had left.
However the person who really deserves credit for Harry's friendship with Snape was the mad Guerrilla leader Cahuella. After he and his army returned to Spain, the wizard turned into a modern-day Spartacus. Like the leader of the ancient slave revolt, he quickly gathered the many enemies of the purebloods into a powerful fighting force.
Half-bloods, muggleborns, and squibs all flocked to his banner seeking revenge. They had plenty of detailed intelligence about the European purebloods who had discriminated against them for centuries. With his new army and all this new intelligence Cahuella annihilated the remaining Spanish Aurors, and the laid waste to the magical districts of their country. Many wizards and witches around the world condemned the mass bloodshed. However others adopted the rallying call of "Hogwarts", and claimed the purebloods of Europe were getting exactly what they deserved.
With his revenge on the Spanish Empire completed, Cahuella took his ragtag army across the Pyrenees Mountains into France. Like their Spanish counterparts, the arrogance of the French purebloods inspired many wizards and witches to seek revenge. Again the Guerrillas devastated an old and powerful foe, including what was left of the Delacour family. This pattern repeated itself when he attacked the Low Countries and then Germany.
It was only when this magical revolution threatened Switzerland and the ICW that the larger magical world finally responded. Even with the trial and execution of Secretary Bates, the United States was still feeling the wrath of its allies. In an attempt to improve its political reputation, the Americans offered Harry the services of a number of its Aurors. They were to be the core of an international force which would stop Cahuella and his mad revolution before it spread any further.
Several other countries including Canada offered additional Aurors, and Harry felt he couldn't turn his back on the country that had sheltered his family. Once he was in command, his international Aurors joined forces with the Order of Saint Lazarus. The Pope sent had Snape to intercept the Guerrilla leader before he could reach Italian soil. The two wizards finally caught up with Cahuella as his army was looting and burning the ancient home of the ICW.
"I see the Powers-That-Be have you out doing their dirty work for them," Cahuella sneered. "I thought you had more sense than that, Potter."
"We aren't interested in fighting you or your Guerrillas. We just want you all to return to your homes in South America," Harry explained.
"And why should I do that?" Cahuella asked. "I have the advantage in numbers."
"Most of your people are civilians. All of my people are trained Aurors. You will lose—badly. I don't want to see any more wizards and witches die in this stupid war. Do you?"
"Are you just going to let us leave after the things we've done? I find that hard to believe."
"Who is being the fool now?" Snape asked. "The rest of the world wanted to see the purebloods of Europe brought to their knees. After Grindelwald, Voldemort, and the attack on the ICW they were sick-and-tired of the endless problems Europe had caused. It is you who have been doing the world's dirty work. Since you destroyed the purebloods' political and economic influence, the other countries of the world are willing to overlook your crimes. But only if you stop this war now, and return to South America."
Cahuella looked as if someone had kicked him in the testicles, and Harry could relate to the feeling. He knew from personal experience how painful it was to discover that you were nothing but a minor pawn in someone's chess game.
"I want a written guarantee that there will be no show trials or retribution of any kind," Cahuella told them.
Snape gave him a sinister smile. "And who is going to sign that guarantee now that you have destroyed the ICW?"
"I will sign it," Harry said. He didn't have the legal authority to do anything remotely like this, but he was beyond caring. "If any country tries to break the peace and goes after you, then they will have to deal with me first."
"Typical Gryffindor," Snape muttered.
In the end Cahuella took Harry's generous offer, and his Guerrillas left Europe. But then the wizard had to go and emulate another ancient general. This time it was Alexander the Great, who also died under mysterious circumstance at a young age. Cahuella's lieutenants began fighting amongst themselves before his body was even cold, and South America again became a hotbed of magical warfare.
It was during these chaotic years that an international group of intellectuals began calling for the formation of an organization to replace the now defunct ICW. This new (and hopefully less corrupt) organization would be called the United Magi, and it would be located far outside of Europe. It wold also have a group of permanent Aurors on standby to deal with magical wars like the one in South America. The idea quickly gained support from idealistic countries like Iceland and Canada. The United States was still trying to improve its tarnished reputation, so it also signed on and promised a large amount of monetary support.
However it was the location of the new United Magi that ensured its successful birth. The magical French government had an island in the Indian Ocean about a hundred kilometers north of Madagascar. Since the magical French government no longer existed—and since the island was already hidden from the muggles—it was decided to base the UM there. This choice brought the support of Africa and India, as well as Indonesia and Australia. Having this new and powerful organization based in the Indian Ocean was appealing for the countries located on its periphery.
Now that the UM was up and running, the issue of who should command its Aurors came up. Once again Harry Potter was drafted. With Cardinal Wiwa dead, few doubted that he was one of the most powerful wizards in the world. The fact that the magical districts of the United Kingdom were in ruins also meant he no independent power base to call upon, and the major powers reasoned that someone his age would be easy to control. It turned out to be a foolish assumption on their part.
Harry had gone back to the United Kingdom several times to help with th reconstruction efforts, but the few remaining wizards and witches living there wanted nothing to do with him. They all believed he should have died with the others at Hogwarts. Canada was nice, but for some reason it didn't feel like home and the new island had much nicer climate. So once again he reluctantly accepted the offer of command.
The many battles in South America were small but time-consuming. It took three years for Harry and his UM Aurors to bring peace to the troubled continent. The battles raged from the humid jungles of Guyana to the icy mountaintops of the Andes to the storm-drenched coast of Southern Chile. During those three long years Harry had only sporadic visits with Luna and their children. Luckily Cardinal Snape and the Catholic Church supplied him with a steady stream of intelligence. The Brazilian Aurors also provided a great deal of military assistance, and after the peace accords were finally ratified their government became an enthusiastic supporter of the new UM.
The Chinese had always been wary of the ICW, but they agreed to join the UM after its Aurors broke up the magical Triads of Hong Kong. The Chinese Aurors had never been able to finish off these criminal gangs because they were always able to retreat to San Francisco and Vancouver, which were outside of Chinese jurisdiction. Only an international body like the United Magi could deal with the global problem that the Triads represented.
By the time Harry crushed a new Dark Lord in the Ukraine—again with help from Cardinal Snape—his position was secure. Secretary Generals came and went every few years, but the whole magical world agreed that Commander Potter was irreplaceable. It was bloody awful situation, but what choice did he have?
Harry's ever-expanding family also thrived on New Avalon, which was the rather unoriginal name that the UM had chosen for its new island home. Ginny didn't like being pregnant since she was terrified of becoming an overweight hag like her mother, so after the birth of the twins she enlisted in the Aurors to regain her figure. With her magical strength and athletic ability she quickly proved her worth. In fact over the years Harry had grown increasingly nervous that he had created his own red-headed Bellatrix Lestrange. Ginny would carry out any order he gave her, no matter how legally questionable. On the other hand the sex (with and without Luna) was fantastic.
His wife told him not to worry about it, but then Luna didn't seem to worry about anything. She just sort of glided through life. She effortlessly gave birth to eight children, while at the same time serving as the owner and publisher of the New Avalon Gazette. But that wasn't all. Using the data they complied on their yearly journeys around the world Luna wrote the landmark book Magical Ecosystems. It caused a sensation since it not only revolutionized the study of magical plants and creatures, but also how they interacted with muggle plants and animals.
Hermione and Lisa also achieved worldwide fame—and earned a lot of galleons in the process—when they perfected their magical computer. Or as Hermione always called it: the Magical Data Storage and Retrieval System. While wizards in North America and Asia preferred to take muggle electronics and shielded them from magical interference, the MDSRS ran entirely on magic itself. Given the ever-growing strength of the environmental movement, this magical technology began to strike a chord with many wizards and witches. They soon embraced the MDSRS as a way to show their ecological superiority to the muggles. Hermione wasn't happy about this chauvinism, but she kept the galleons anyway.
Nor did Hermione let Harry out of his promise to act as a sperm donor. Harry offered to them the old-fashion way, but again he was shot down—this time with Ginny's violent help. He countered by asking for Pensieve memories of them... well, you know. He needed some proper motivation after all. Hermione was outraged, but Lisa pointed out that it was a fair price for what they were asking of him. Harry treasured those erotic memories almost as much as his eight Granger-Turpin children. Each witch had two boys and two girls, and to this day he still didn't have a clue how Hermione managed to plan out their genders in advance.
With nineteen children Harry soon had to face the problem of how to educate them. None of them could bear the thought of sending the children away to a boarding school, and Hermione even argued that separating children from their parents was a major cause of emotional problems in wizards. That would certainly explain why Draco Malfoy turned out to be such a monster despite his kind-hearted mother.
Instead they decided to build the New Avalon Lyceum less than a kilometer away from their house. With the growing number of employees working at the UM attracting students wasn't a problem, and they all volunteered their time and galleons. Soon the Lyceum was welcoming students from around the world, including the three Snapes: Victoire, Gabrielle, and Augustus.
Cardinal Snape was a frequent visitor to New Avalon. As the Church's magical representative he had a great deal of business before the UM, and as a father he often visited his children at the Lyceum. If anyone thought this was scandalous behavior they were too frightened of the Cardinal say anything about it. In the end it was their notorious reputations which made Harry and Snape friends. Who else could understand the great burdens they were forced to carry on behalf of the magical world?
"...has joined together, let no wizard put asunder. And so, by the power vested in me by my Almighty God, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss my daughter," Snape concluded.
"Ten galleons say Teddy doesn't use any tongue," Gideon whispered to his twin brother.
"That is a sucker's bet," Fabian replied.
Very true, Harry thought. Victoire and Teddy's lips barely touched. But who could blame them with her father standing right there with his wand at the ready?
The wedding reception took place under the massive crystal dome of the UM, and it was a zoo. Literally. There were Veela and Goblins and dwarves and house-elves and yeti and centaurs and banshees and werewolves and ghosts and even a pair of well-behaved giants. Luna had made a lot of very interesting friends during her yearly journeys around the world, and Harry had saved a lot of lives as the Commander of the UM Aurors.
There were also several hundred important wizards and witches in attendance. Of course they weren't here because of the marriage of two stupid teenagers. No, they had come to pay homage to the two powerful wizards who had fathered those two stupid teenagers. Harry thought the social hoopla was annoying, but Snape seemed quite pleased with all the attention. At least he was until he saw Teddy dancing with Victoire.
"Potter, this is all your fault."
"My fault? I gave him the TALK three bloody times," Harry complained. "The only reason Victoire is pregnant is because she wanted a Metamorphmagus for a husband."
"Are you suggesting my gentle daughter tricked that wretched werewolf spawn into marrying her?"
"Yes, that is exactly what I'm suggesting. And don't call my son a werewolf spawn in public." Harry and Snape were friends, but they were the kind of friends who regularly threaten to kill each other. "And Victoire is about as gentle as an iron cauldron dropped on your head."
Snape actually smiled at that comparison. Victoire was his pride and joy. The young witch had inherited all of her mother's beauty, all of her father's intelligence, and enough magical strength to put her in Harry's league. Ginny, Hermione, and Lisa were convinced that gentle Victoire was a future Dark Lady in the making.
"If my grandchild is a true Metamorphmagus, I might be willing to let your son live," Snape allowed before taking another long drink of elvish wine. "You know, she would have been very proud of you today."
"Who, my mother?"
"No, dear Lily was an idealistic dreamer like her mentor Albus Dumbledore. She would have never approved of the questionable actions that were needed to create this brave new world of ours. Instead I was referring to your true mentor: Andromeda Tonks. To have turned a bumbling Gryffindor like you into a semi-competent leader... she was a Slytherin of the highest order."
"Do you really think I'm semi-competent?"
"Potter, shut up."