AN: Think the Big Bang Theory meets Community meets The Ghost Writers.
(I make many references to all three)
We are that awesome that I forced us all to get an education.
Try to find the positive that we'll all have a class together.
Title: Casper Community College
Word Count: 2K-ish
Written By: Zadi
Summary: Casper Community College is more or less hell on earth. Think high school, but for all ages above seventeen. Here in this treacherous place a group of ethnically diverse nerds will try to conquer this college and rule the world. Or at least past midterms.
Chapter One: Hell Welcomes You
I've been obsessively watching the series Community that is filled with TVTropes.
We could rule the place.
Hell has many names.
The more common one is 'High School', the least is 'Community College', and the rest is pure commentary. Of course, it makes sense that Casper Community College is located at Casper Town. This story is a result of the multiverse trying to sort itself out before 2012.
Which means that Just Another Day in the Neighbourhood more or less happens in the same time period. Which could make this a College AU fic.
Ergo, if this is partially in the same universe as JADitN, then it should start (about) the same:
The day started in Casper Town with some purple prose about the sun rising. It's only mentioned because it has some weird foreshadowing subtext. Maybe it could be about the dead bodies in the bottom of the pool? How the dead wake up in the gardens at night? Or it could be nothing at all, and only the narrator trying too hard.
Nah, it's nothing.
We have crazy future mad scientists (ignore the loud explosions), people that could be old ladies that hold the key to our destruction (please be nice to them), and am apprenticing assassin that uses her pets to help (yes, they talk), grammer-ific students (oh, yes, I spoke Buffy), and the dear narrator who is very sane.
On the quad freshmen were being forced to greet each other by the two truth and a lie game.
There was an Irish bloke with gleaming teeth: "I am Plug. I am a leprechaun, I name my dictionaries, and I enjoy reading."
A short girl with calculating eyes: "My name's Nemo. I like sharp objects, I am a matchmaker, and I am blacklisted by the Bulgarian government."
A second girl with wavy dark hair who was wearing a Slytherin t-shirt. "Hello, my name is Musa. I like analysing, knitting, and sky-diving."
There was another short girl who straightened her glasses. "I think you all have strange names. Hey, shalom, I'm Zadi. I once beaten a man in Kempo Sparring, I know some Farsi, and I'm relatively sane."
They all looked at each other, blinking. No one was sure which was the lie.
"We should start a study group," Nemo quickly caught up to Plug. She pushed several taller students out of the way to make or look more casual.
He looked down at the girl who was starting to remind him of his sister. "Really? What brought this on?"
"You've seen the writing teacher." She said it in a way as if it explained everything.
Plug tried to raise his eyebrow but settled for sounding wiser behind his years. Truthfully, he had a hard time recollecting which teacher taught what. "I'm sure that your idea is a brilliant one."
"Good," she thrust a paper into his hands. "Here are the people that I think will be good for the group. Go find and drag them to the library after lunch." Nemo them skipped away happily.
Plug looked at the girl, and then at the paper:
The Ghost Writers
A brilliant idea and all, Plug supposed. Now if only he knew what most of these people looked like, or where even the library was. He had a map, but someone's iguana ate it unexpectedly during Biology. It was a sad fate for his navigational skills.
This was going to be a long school semester.
"Why does this seem familiar?"
"Just go with it, Kendall."
"Really? Because I'm kinda of…Sure, why not?"
"Care about joining a study group, Zadi?"
"Does this feel montage-y to you, Plug?"
"Just a little."
"How many times did you ask a variation of this question?"
"Ever thought about threatening them with body harm and zombies?"
"…Didn't we talked about this before, Cendi?"
"Why does this feel like a lame attempt to boost up the word count?"
"Cheese, are you…sparkling?"
"Does it make me look even more awesome?"
Plug collapsed into a rather comfortable chair in the library. He rolled his head back and covered his face with his hands, groaning. He would never, ever do a favour for Nemo ever again-Even if she threatened with blackmail or a blind date in the near future.
"You are so surviving college," Zadi said as she sat next to him.
Plug groaned again.
"What a college-thing to answer by."
Plug groaned for a third time that meant that he had enough.
"Is that a Muppet on your backpack?"
Plug moved his fingers apart so he could see through his hands at Zadi. "Yes." He was going to stick with the monosyllable words for a reason.
"Cool," the short brunette jutted a thumb at Nemo who was gathering contact information from the others. "Is this her idea?"
He nodded yes.
"You look tired."
He nodded again.
"I swear it's like you'll fall…"
And Plug promptly fell asleep.
"Clownfish!" Plug suddenly exclaimed from his sleep. He woke up, eyes darting around the room wildly. He just had the strangest dream that Nemo tried to arrange a wedding for him and Cheese. It involved magic, breezy robes, and a time traveling iguana.
The janitor shook his head sadly. "Library's been close for an hour, kid."
Plug ran a hand though his hair, shocked. He saw that the library was empty saved for him and the janitor. "Bloody hell. Wasn't there a group of almost twenty people here?"
Zadi's swore into her pillow and the insistent knocking on her door muffled the word of choice. She blindly reached for her glasses on the bedside table, rolled out of bed, and glowered as she opened the door.
"Plug…doesn't this feel like déjà-vu to you?"
His hand was paused in mid-knock. "No. Why?"
"Just a feeling."
"Zadi, what the hell happened?"
She rubbed her eyes, fighting the urge to slam the door in his face. "It's two in the morning, and you want to know what we did for our first study group? You were freaking there!"
"I fell asleep."
"But you were talking."
"I talk in my sleep," he said with a sheepish smile.
"That would explain a lot," she mumbled. "You kept calling me a PI of some kind, Cheese is a goddess, and Syd's a whore…"
"I get it," Plug interrupted with an irritable scowl. "Now stop making me experience a vivid sensation of déjà-vu."
Zadi leaned against the doorframe, pitying him. One second she was talking to him, and then he was talking nonsense. "Nemo has the entire outline for the year in a planner—"
Plug's head shot up, eyes bulging in terror. "NOT THE PLANNER! I'm too young to get married!"
The next morning was followed by Twilight-epic portions of the sun rising. The rising sun meant a new day was starting, and a new fresh start for all. All the darkness from before was washed away from the new light—And some poor sod of a student being hoisted up the flagpole by his underwear ruined the sun metaphor.
Come on! This is a (community) college! At least act like your age! Oh, good, they're bringing him down…and to the dumpsters. Fine, go copy every 80's movie about high school. It's not like I can do anything about it.
In the JADitN, a strange disturbance rippled over the town—and it wasn't because of Bingo Night. Private Eye, T Zadi Kim took her stylish fedora off her head and stared forlornly at the window.
"Why does it feel like I'm going through sleep-deprived hell?"
CCC OUTAKE á la Community
"This is cool," Zadi said. She propped her feet up on the library table and stared ahead. "So, who am I in this?"
"Excuse me?" Sky looked at the fellow sane person. Her psychology textbook lay at her lap, opened to a page about the Truman Show Disorder.
"I mean, who is the Troy and Abed in this episode ending?"
Sky could feel the metamorphic question mark rise above her head. Zadi continued to talk to the wall in front of them.
"I think I'm more of the Abed because I'm being rather meta in this part. It's almost OOC of me. But that brings up another question; if I'm breaking the fourth wall by just conversing like this, then I wonder…"
Sky opened her mouth to speak. "What are you…" But Zadi was talking in unison with her. "Stop it, Zadi, it's not funny." A short pause. Resumed. "How are you doing this?"
Sky tried to speak again, but Zadi's raised hand stopped her.
"Or by just mentioning it am I breaking the fourth wall? Cool. Yes, I am Abed and you are Troy judging by your expressions. Coolcoolcool."
"Who are you talking to?"
"You need to be in JADitN to find out." Zadi stood up and brushed her jeans off. "Want to go grab a smoothie?"