Breathe.

Politics is a game. In this Universe, only Jim can play. He is furious that he is uninformed. He is shocked that he didn't know. The end game is secreted. That which is kept from Jim, renders him impotent. That which is kept makes him feel old.

Jim will not be relegated to insignificance. His power is more than merely sitting on the Bridge and presiding over ambassadorial dinners. He is the Enterprise. He is all that she is, was and will be.

Breathe.

She is his prodigy. She is not Sa'vik, with her logic and integrity, but Valaris is what is required. His daughter has found her own way. Valaris is a talent, Vulcan in every sense of the word. Not like him, not like Sa'vik, but completely who she should be, without the limitations a hybrid might have.

He relies on her logic. He relies on her loyalty. He relies on her love. He forgets what she should be.

Breathe.

When Jim and McCoy go missing, he agonizes. He uses every aspect of his nature and the gifts the Enterprise gives, without question. Though she is not sentient, he knows her, her skills. He finds them and unravels the politics that bind her. He will not be held in place. He will find them.

Breathe.

Klingon culture is deep and beautiful. Their knowledge of honor, and courage, and justice is bred deep in their bones. While he cherishes the depth, he cannot forget the cruelty that sits side by side. It takes a learned hand to determine what is real, what is fabricated. It is essential to save Jim.

The politics of the Federation are irrelevant. It is not important who wins, so long as all survive and thrive. This lesson is lost on some but not all. Klingon honor is powerful but not as powerful as human strength and resilience. Vulcan strength, resilience, and honor become subject to question.

It is only the beginning of his trials. He is the bridge to bind them all together. He must see beyond his flaws and limitations to make this reality a cohesive whole. Ultimately, he is responsible. In the end, he must reconcile what is and what will be. One and together, enemies no longer.

Breathe.

In the end, one cannot be trusted. In the end, Valaris is pilloried and torn apart by both the facts and my mind. I cannot regret her agony as I touched her because it brought Jim home.

I care not if the politics are unpopular. I care not if each party cannot find parity. My only concern is his safety. For he is mine.

When we are done, when the Enterprise passes on to other hands, I will mourn. I have promises I have made, to make the Universe safe, to bring cultures together. I will not set those aside.

But through it all, I will always keep him in my heart. He who represents what is best of human culture, he who loved me. Who still loves me.

Breathe.

In the last years of my life, I remember those who I have loved. Yes, a Vulcan loved. They showed courage and integrity and strength and hubris and all those aspects of humanity. They loved me as well, taking into consideration my weaknesses and strengths, but most of all, my tremendous regard for them.

They are all gone now, except McCoy and Uhura. They aged out, died unexpectedly and fought to the end to deny time. Losing Jim was the hardest. I cannot speak of the pain his passing created. I only remember his love and patience, his humor and power. He, like his silver ship, lost also, will stay with me always, silhouetted against stars he loved.

I am humbled now, holding these memories close. There is one thing more, to save Romulus from a star gone nova. We will see what comes from that.