Disclaimer: I do not own Metalocalypse nor do I make any profit from anything here.

Title: Some secrets are better kept secret (1/2)

Character(s)/Pairing: Nathan/Charles, Dethklok

Summary: But in the end, all it takes is one gear to lower his guard and a group of Revengencers to ruin everything.

AN: For the Secrets are Brutal theme over at the BrutalBusiness community on LiveJournal.

...

Nathan never had much luck in the dating department, or the love department for that matter. He was brought up being told that he was expected to meet a girl, marry her and reproduce. But Nathan always knew he didn't want a family, not in the way he was expected to have one. He knew he liked girls, but deep down as a child he knew girls weren't the only gender that caught his eye.

Unfortunately, homosexuality in his family was a big no-no. Bigots and homophobes on both sides of his family 'scared him straight', at least on the outside. On the outside he dated girls, if they could stomach him, and brought them home so his parents wouldn't be disappointed in him.

But then he became famous and the dating became easier. Girls threw themselves at him left and right, but it was still not what he wanted. He knew what, or rather who, he wanted the moment Pickles brought the newly formed Dethklok to a "real cool lawyer dood."

Nathan never acted on his feelings, though. He knew, at the time, that the band was too young and unknown to deal with any drama like that. At least, that was his excuse to justify his lack of trying.

Deep down Nathan was just scared to be rejected by the one person he truly felt something for. Sure it hurt when all the women he dated cheated or left him but he never really cared about them to begin with.

So Nathan had sat in the metaphorical corner and admired from afar. He reasoned that when the time was right he would tell his manager how he really felt.

The attack at Mordhaus really shook him up. Before he knew it the entire building was on fire, some crazy chick was hitting on him and then hitting him, and some psychopath was beating up Charles.

Charles, who was pronounced dead a couple of hours after he was taken away in a helicopter from the burning wreckage that was their home. Nathan remembered sitting in a safe house that had been prepared for just such an occasion, with the other band members all huddled around the largest couch. Waiting for news, any news, about their manager. Being told the time of death over a telephone was mind numbing. It was worse knowing that Nathan would never even get a chance to tell Charles the truth, or even find some clue that he felt the same.

Nathan hadn't felt that horrible since those months of his mothers non-stop crying when he dropped out of high school.

Life went on, months passed and Nathan realized how badly he really needed Charles. He was the reason the band stayed afloat, but most of all Charles was the only person who could fill the empty spaces in his heart.

By the time the concert came around Nathan was ready to sign the contract. He felt bad about letting his band down but he did all he could. He was no Charles, and the one and only Charles was gone.

But out of no where, like a sign from above, there he was. Standing in the doorway with no suit, a scar on one side of his face, and breathing.

For a while, him being back was good enough for Nathan. One month passed, then another. Things started to go back to normal around Mordhaus. They were no longer in debt, the label were no longer on their backs, and Charles was there.

Nathan promised himself he would summon the courage to tell Charles . He was tired of pretending he was content with just sleeping around with all the groupies. His dating life was going no where, and he knew he had bad luck dating women because he didn't want to settle down and date a woman. In fact, he was pretty sure he didn't even want to do all that with a man. What he did know, was that what he wanted was Charles, and only Charles.

With a few bottles of liquid courage coursing through his veins, three months after his return, one whole year after his initial death, Nathan marched into Charles's office. He went straight up the man, pulled him out of his office desk chair and crushed his lips to his. It was unplanned, unexpected, sloppy and to Nathans surprise almost immediately reciprocated.

Suddenly, Nathans dating and love life didn't seem so unlucky anymore.

/Time Skip/

For once, the current Dethklok tour was going as schedule with almost no casualties. Sure, there was a fire backstage and a loose light fixture, but during the entire tour the death count was still in the twenties and that was a miracle in of itself. With only one more concert before heading back to Mordhaus for a well deserved vacation, Nathan was very pleased with the turnout.

The large tour bus drove on throughout the night as it was bombarded with rain and swift winds, but on the inside it the area was calm and relaxing. The band members were scattered around the bus, Toki and Murderface playing video games together in the living area, Pickles bothering Jean-Pierre for more munchies, and Skwisgaar in his living quarters practicing his ever present guitar.

Nathan, on the other hand, was sitting in one of the extra chairs in the on bus office Charles had, while Charles finished up last minute tour details before the last show. Neither of them said a word, each concentrating on whatever they were doing. In Nathans case he was busy writing down some ideas for future songs that had come to him. It had been over a year since they had started being exclusive to each other, and being able to be near the other without talking was something they cherished.

By the end of the night Nathan and Charles retired to the room they shared with each other. The two of them collapsed onto the large bed together, whispering sweet nothings and promises into each others skins. Nathan never knew what true love felt like until he was with Charles, and he was certain nothing would split them apart again.

When morning arrived, both men woke earlier than planned. With no need to leave their bed Nathan gathered Charles into his arms, both still naked, enjoying the quiet moment they had before the final concert that night.

"I can't wait to get home," Nathan muttered, voice still sleep heavy. He felt more than heard Charles hum in agreement.

Nathan turned Charles over so the two of them were looking in each others eyes. "Hey. I know its not, you know, metal, but. I..." Nathan quickly averted his gaze, a slight blush forming on his cheeks before quickly muttering, "I love you."

Charles smiled, reaching one hand to tuck some loose hair behind Nathans ear. "I love you too Nathan." Smiling, Nathan captured Charles in a kiss while flipping them so he was hovering over Charles. In Nathans mind, it was the best way to spend a morning.

Eventually the two made their way to the bathroom, showered and dressed. With one last kiss they each went their separate ways.

Nathan met up with the rest of his band for breakfast, taking a seat at the table next to Pickles. The five of them set about eating their food with pleasant conversations ranging from possible last minute set changes for the show to what brand of jerky was the best to bring camping.

The band knew about Nathan and Charles, and had excepted it in their own ways. Nathan was secretly glad that none of them rejected him for his relationship. Murderface was the only one that actually took a while to accept it. Skwisgaar shrugged it off saying he wasn't one to judge who someone slept with, Pickles told Nathan love was love and he was happy for him, and Toki said now the band was even more like a family. Murderface, on the other hand, had to get over his own insecurities before he eventually accepted.

Nathan would never tell them, but he cared what they thought of him. They were his friends, family and everything in between.

After the peaceful breakfast the rest of the day became more hectic. The bus had arrived at the venue for the final concert by mid-morning, as was scheduled, and the rest of the day consisted of rehearsing, setting up, safety proofing the area, and much more. Nathan rarely saw Charles during the day of concerts except for a few stolen kisses while they passed each other from point A to point B or when Charles needed to inform the band of safety regulations for that venue.

This concert was just like any other concert. Nothing special, just the last before a break in touring. Everything was going as planned. There were no security breaches, no suspicious attendees, no accidents whatsoever. With the concert almost over, one song left, Nathan honestly thought everything was going to be okay. That once he was done he could exist this stage and find Charles and finally take some time to just be with him on a much needed vacation.

But in the end, all it takes is one gear to lower his guard and a group of Revengencers to ruin everything. The blasts started from somewhere in the middle of the crowed but they were big. Body parts were flying in all directions and screams of pain rivaled Nathans powerful voice. For a brief moment the five on stage just stopped, looking at each other with worried glances. Nathan was the first to react, motioning them to leave the stage and fast.

More explosions were going off and each one was closer to the stage than the last. Nathan was the last to exit, making sure the others were off before him, and while he was a few feet away a large blast came from behind. Looking back he watched as the stage erupted into flames before the floorboards flew every which way from the blast.

"Nathan! Get to the bus now! Go!" Nathan barely heard Charles over the ringing in his ears and the shouting coming from behind him. Seeing the fire behind him reminded him of the attack on Mordhaus and for one split second Nathan felt something tug in his chest. Looking over to Charles he made the decision to grab him as he started running towards the bus while the others followed.

After an initial argument that he was better suited dealing with the situation out where it was happening, Charles relented and eventually convinced Nathan to let him scout up ahead. So Nathan let go of Charles as he wished him luck as he made sure their way to the safe bus was secure.

With the five of them, making it out of the building was slow going. They could still hear the explosions going off and they could feel the reverberations in the walls and floors. Smoke had started filling the hallways from the fires, and before long Nathan had to practically carry Pickles out into the fresh air because he could barely breathe without coughing.

But they made it out and the tour bus was only a couple yards away. All around the bus were their equipment and other such electronics that had yet been packed up and put on the bus. Next to the a bunch of amps that were not needed for the concert was Charles who started motioning for the band to hurry as he yelled into his phone for the driver to be ready to depart the moment Dethklok was on board.

Nathan let Pickles go when he wheezed out that he could run the rest of the way on his own, and started to move faster towards the bus and Charles. A red blinking light abruptly started shining near the equipment and suddenly Charles was cursing and yelling for them to get back.

A white light then a loud noise and suddenly Nathans world was spinning. The explosion wasn't as large as the ones inside the venue, but it was still an explosion. Metal and debris flew everywhere and by some stroke of luck the members of Dethklok managed to get down in time to only suffer a few cuts and bruises. Without even thinking Nathan, who was half blinded from flying dirt, shouted as loud as he could while pointing towards the bus.

The others thankfully got his message, or figured it was the safest place to be, and made their way to the bus as quickly as they could. Nathan, on the other hand, was frantically searching for Charles. There was a cloud of dirt and debris everywhere making it hard to see anything at all but Nathan refused to give up. He refused to believe Charles was gone. He survived the attack on Mordhaus, he would survive this.

When Nathan started becoming hysterical he saw what appeared to be a body lying on the ground. Without thought he picked the body up and made his way onto the bus, quickly shutting the door behind him. The tour bus, having suffered only external damage to it's metal exterior, did as it was instructed and made its way out of the danger area the moment all of Dethklok was on board.

Entering the living area Nathan placed the body on the nearest couch, yelling for someone to get him help. His vision was starting to clear and he looked around at the other four yelling at them to get help for Charles and to stop just standing there. Toki was the first to step forward, hands shaking, and eyes looking not at him but at Charles.

"Na'tens? What ams wrong wits Charlies?"

Tears started welling up in Nathans eyes, fearing that if he turned to look at his lover he would find him already beyond any hope of surviving. Instead, when he turned to look he saw something he couldn't believe. There Charles was, struggling to sit up, body cut open and bleeding.

Except that wasn't blood coming out of his wounds. It was oil.

In the silence of the bus, Nathan could hear the sound of gears turning and wires sparking. The more Charles tried to sit up the worse he made his wounds. A good majority of his suit was burnt, the rest torn from the debris that hit him from the explosion. The more he struggled the more his cuts opened, exposing more and more wires and metal framework.

Exposed wires that had been severed started to spark and by the time Charles got himself into a seated position it was apparent, now more than ever, that whatever this thing was it was not human. The thing no longer wore Charles's glasses, its once hazel eyes flashing red. The entire left side of its face was melted off, exposing a robotic skull and more turning gears and wires. Its body twitched at random, and with each jerk of an arm or leg a spurt of oil would leak from the orifices littered on its body.

"What the fuck is going on?" Nathan couldn't look away from the thing on the couch. The thing he supposedly in a relationship with. Nothing was making sense anymore, but he couldn't leave. Not yet. Not before he knew the truth.

"It's not what you. What you. What you think." The band listened in horror as their once manager tried to reason with them. Its voice sounded the same, but with a more mechanical rasp to it, and its head twitched each time it repeated as if its vocal cords were skipping. "I can explain. I could, I could not tell you before, before."

"Why?" Nathan took a step closer to the couch, needing to know the truth. Everything felt like a lie, and for a moment his world stopped turning. His mind flashed back to the past year of being with Charles and everything felt like a lie. Everything they did together, everything they told each other. It all felt wrong.

Choking back what he would never admit to being a sob, Nathan felt his heart rip in half. This felt worse than when all the women he dated left him, when his mother cried over him when he dropped out, every time he disappointed someone, and when he thought Charles was dead combined. Looking down at his hands he realized they were shaking, and he never felt so alone in his entire life than right then.

A loud buzzing and crackling coming from the couch brought him out of his head and back to the thing that called itself Charles.

"Because Nathan." Sparks flew out of the broken wires sticking out of its neck and oil started to pool around its body, staining the couches fabric. Pretending to be blood. "You were never suppose to find out."

TBC

Part two to come within the month with more Robo!Charles, and perhaps a second secret?