The sun broke through my windows to lighten up my dismal, dark, filthy room. I couldn't move a limb; I couldn't get off the bed. My body was numb after yesterday's hits. My cheeks hurt so much. I forced myself to get up and headed to the bathroom.

I felt like I was going to pass out, but held my shit together. When I reached the bathroom I was terrified as I looked in the mirror. The old bruises got even worse and new ones showed on my cheeks. My cheeks were all red and looked horrible. I tried to ignore the pain of the bruises and the scars on my wrist. Took a shower, Got dressed, and then put makeup on to hide the bruises.


I woke up to the sound of hard knocks on the door. I was lying on the floor helpless, I couldn't get up, and my body was aching even more after sniffing the last dose of cocaine. I'm grateful to that guy with hazel eyes though, he kind of saved my life.

The knocks got even harder on the door. Then I realized what I did yesterday. Shit, shit, shit it must be the cops. I was already in my skinny jeans so I put on yesterday's filthy shirt and chucks and rushed through the back door.


I put on my makeup and sat down to drink my coffee waiting for Bert to pick me up. It was 11am so I still had two hours to spend alone.

My thoughts were getting worse day by day, I've been cutting for a whole week in a row, and it pains but makes me feel better. So I picked up my razor and stared at my distorted wrist. I tried not to cry or I'll ruin my makeup, but I couldn't help tears running down my face. I still couldn't understand how my life was two years ago and how it turned out to be now. I got the razor closer to my wrist and I dug into my flesh. I twitched in pain, but didn't care. I dug into my wrist again and felt the blood running.

The razor dropped as my phone rang. I tried to get on my feet and pick it up. As I reached to my phone I saw Bert's name. "Hello, babe." "Hey, Gerard. Sorry I can't pick you up today, I'm pretty busy." "B-but it's my birthday, Bert. I've been looking forward to today for so long." "Gerard, don't nag. I said I'm busy. Okay?" "But you promised." "We'll celebrate it later. I have more important things to do." "More important than me…" "Yeah Gerard, yeah." "Okay Bert." "You love me Gerard?" "Yes I do." "Okay, goodbye."

Tears dropped from my eyes as I hung up. Why am I crying? I always spend my birthday alone. I thought of how worthless I was as I put on my jacket to go out and celebrate my birthday on my own.


I rushed down the street hoping no one would notice me, I kept running as far as I could. My body was weak, I needed drugs to keep me going on, but I knew if I stopped running I'd definitely get killed. Cold air was tearing my lungs inside. My nose was numb and my fingertips as well. As I wandered left and right, I thought of heading to Bert's place, but he would kill me as well. I kept running not even knowing where I was heading to. When I had made sure no one was following me anymore, I entered a coffee shop to get a coffee hoping it'd give me some strength. I ordered my latte and sunk down on my chair trying to hide the blood stains on my shirt. As I took the first sip of my latte, someone opened the door of the shop, I thought it was the cops, I didn't know what to do, I dropped my latte and sank into my chair hopelessly waiting for them to handcuff me .

I waited but no one appeared. I tried to peek and I found that everything was okay. I got up and ordered another latte. When I fixed my eyes, I found that guy with the hazel eyes sitting on the table in front of me. As his eyes caught my staring eyes I turned to the other side right away.

I paid for my latte and got out of the coffee shop still not knowing where to go. "Frank." "Fraaannkkk!" I heard someone calling my name. I ran my ass off, I felt someone running after me saying something but I couldn't understand. "Fraaaank I'm Gerard!" Gerard? Who's Gerard? Oh, he's the hazel eyed guy. I stopped and panted for a while. I felt his warm breath getting closer. "Frank, do you remember me?" I looked up at him. "Y-yes I do. I'm sorry; I thought you were someone else." "It's okay." He said, looking at my shirt. "I cut my finger by accident and a few drops found its way to my shirt." I replied quickly. "It's okay", he said smiling warmly at me. "Do you mind if I walk with you?" "Yeah it's okay."

After a pretty long walk together, talking about random things, making fun of people around, laughing at some silly jokes, I got really tired of walking. "How about we sit here?" I said looking toward a bench and hoped he could sit there. He simply went and sat down. I followed soon after taking a seat next to him. There was an awkward silence that took place between us. I was sure something would happen in a moment. I felt myself moving closer and his blush only continued to darken. He turned to look at me and he looked me directly in the eye. I felt drawn to him and saw him coming closer and closer, I knew I couldn't let this happen but I just couldn't pull away. We were an inch apart when I heard a sound of patrol car.

I pushed Gerard away, but he held my hands and ran away with me. We ran and we felt policemen were running after us. We ran till we made sure no one was following us anymore.

I ran with Frank not knowing what was actually happening, but I didn't care. All I cared about was Frank. Me and him. We were together. Holding hands and running under the pouring rain. I couldn't ask for anything better.

We stopped running when we couldn't feel anyone behind us anymore. I tried to let go of his hands but he held it tighter. He fell to his knees and started shivering and crying.

I didn't know what to do. But I couldn't bear seeing him crying. He started shivering and whimpering even harder. "Frank, Frank are you okay?" I held him in my arms and tried to calm him down. He was shaking more violently when his eyes went blank and passed out. "Frank. Frank can you hear me? Frank!" I cried and carried him rushing towards my house

I placed Frank gently on the couch and let the doctor close the room's door behind him as he left.

Although the doctor told me that he only needed rest and someone to take care of him, I was way too worried about him.

"Frank, Frank can you hear me?" I heard a soft voice calling, but everything was black. I slowly opened my eyes and tried to function. "Oh My God, Frank. I was so worried."

That's what Gerard said while hugging me. "I'm okay. Don't worry" he tried to let go, but I hugged even tighter. It felt good being in Gerard's arms. "Thanks, Gerard. This means the world to me." I kissed his bright pink soft cheeks. He said nothing, and turned his face to head to the kitchen. Yeah, that's when his lips touched mine by accident. Both of our faces froze an inch away from one another. He pulled me towards him violently and kissed on my neck. I pulled him even closer while stroking his hair. He slowly pulled my shirt up till I took it off. My hands found its way to his pants to undo it. I honestly didn't want to do this, but he was so irresistible. As we both undressed ourselves, his sweet strawberry scent filled my lungs, it was pretty odd 'cause I'm used to only smell toxic, disgusting drugs. "But Frank, you're still ill, and we're not supposed to do this" he said looking down. I didn't care if I was ill or not. I just wanted him. I held him in my arms and softly kissed him. I ran my tongue all over his sweet, babyish soft skin. When I reached down to his private, I immediately lifted his legs up my shoulders "if you're not ready for this, Gerard. We just ca-". "Get into me. NOW" he interrupted. I lifted his legs higher, fixed myself, and pushed slowly to let the head in. I pushed into him harder till I totally filled him. He twitched in pleasure, several moans escaped his mouth, and his thighs thrusted really quickly.

Afterwards, I got up and decided to make Frank something to eat. He must be starving. "Okay Frank. I'll go prepare something to eat. And you stay here. Don't fall asleep. Okay?" "Okay, I'll be waiting…"

I was just about to take the chicken pot off the stove when Frank's phone rang. "Frank. Are you awake still? Your phone is ringing" I went back to the room to see if he's still awake. Awe, sweetheart is asleep. I know he was tired, but I wanted to make sure he didn't feel hungry. The phone cut off the moment. It was ringing for the third time in a row, so I decided to pick it up. "Hello. I'm not Fra-". "Hi, Frank. Look, I know what you did, and I'm not going to let it pass. Though you can't resurrect the dead, and can't clean the blood off your hands, but if you did what I tell you to do, I'll let the police take their eyes off of you, and you'll be charged. Wait for out next call."

What was that? What did Frank do? He killed someone? What? How? No! My thoughts started messing with my head before someone knocked on the door. Who the hell was that? It was 4am!

I rushed angrily toward the door and opened it…. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to my love Gerard. Happy birthday to you!" "B-bert?"