This is set some time after COE and so team Torchwood is just Jack and Gwen. Another bomb finds its way into Jack's stomach but this time he does not come back. Gwen falls apart and Torchwood is taken over.

Chapter One- Thoughts, Coffee and Coats

Well where have we found ourselves? 2054. Ebony, Ivory, Harmony and Enigma, and who are they? They are Torchwood! I can still feel the heat and the see the flames from the explosion. The light blinds my eyes and the sound deafens my ears still. I was at the centre of the disaster and naturally I died, except it was different this time. I felt the pain in the middle of my stomach and it bursting out of my body as normal, but then I didn't come back; there was no longer the light at the end of the tunnel that I am always running to, and no sensation of my heart suddenly pumping and the air filling up my lungs again. I've just stayed as I am.

And now I have a pair of eyes in the middle of the Universe and I can see everything, even throughout time. I imagine this is what the inside of the Doctor's head must be like. But I can see them, that is the team I am talking about. I have watched them grow up and now look what they have stumbled across; Torchwood, my Torchwood and they are building it up again and not just literally but metaphorically. It's been years, many years since I have been watching, observing life going on, and guessing my situation I'll be here forever.

I remember it all so clearly as if it was only yesterday, the explosion that actually killed me, just like that. I still do not know to this day how it happened, I thought I was immortal? We had only just recently built the new Hub after the last bomb. Gwen was busy as usual when I came in, typing away on the computer, taking phone calls and sipping from her hot coffee when she could. The air had been sweet and sticky with the coffee aroma. Saliva was building up in my mouth and so I strolled over to the coffee machine and began to work some old coffee magic. I stroked a picture of Ianto in a flowery picture frame, it was the only one we had, as the steam rolled across the room. With a steaming mug of coffee I walked over to acknowledge Gwen. She smiled as I placed a hand on her shoulder, she stopped typing and grabbed my hand at her shoulder and with a twirl of her chair she was facing me smiling gleefully.

It was then, when we were entwined in a happy moment that the ear-splitting alarm went off. Gwen jumped out of her seat in shock making me throw my coffee everywhere. I only stood there dripping in coffee as the alarm echoed in my ears, that was when my head started spinning and I had a sudden realisation that the bomb was inside me. Gwen was screaming, hanging from my arms like a wild monkey, cursing and swearing, tears running down her face and hysteria taking over her body as she wriggled in my arms. There was also the booming countdown to destruction from the Hub computer system and my own blood bubbling in my ears. But before I lost consciousness I threw Gwen off myself and bundled her on to the new pavement lift. Six... as I tried to keep her wriggling body on the platform, I stretched for the big red button to power the lift. Five... I was struggling to reach the button stretching my arms as far as I could. Four ... I reached the button and the platform shuddered as the mechanisms started. Three... Gwen towered above me still screaming my name. Two... all I could think was I survived that last time I blew up. One... The pain took over my body and my eyes fell shut.

And now I'm here in the sky. I watched her suffer. I saw her crawling among the rubble of the explosion, the flames around her; it looked like she was in Hell. She was searching for the remains of my body, tears still streaking her face, mascara running down her face. She fumbled across my greatcoat, tattered in pieces and burnt in parts. I was made to watch her sit there hugging it and sobbing into it as she curled into a ball and prayed I was coming back to her. I could have screamed as I watched her body shudder with every jolt of shock and grief. I could not even feel tears streaming down my face, but I wanted to cry a thousand rivers because I loved her like no one else.

As time passed I saw an ambulance arrive and I painfully looked on as Gwen was ushered into the back of the van against her will, still clutching my greatcoat which she would not let go of. But I could not do anything I could only watch her agony. Years passed and I watched Anwen growing up and Gwen and Rhys growing old. I noticed Gwen had changed with a part of her soul missing, Torchwood was gone and I was gone, half her life had been taken away. I remember seeing her sitting in the kitchen in a daydream staring blankly at Anwen as she spoon-fed her mouthfuls of food and the agony of her rolling in bed wide awake every night. I feel it was a punishment for my sins. Someone who really hated me and wanted me dead has finally got their revenge. For many years I have watched her suffer, cradle my coat and cry into Rhys' arms helplessly. Although it has made me realise the effect I have on people, it has led poor little Anwen to grow up with a withdrawn mother and I just cannot bear it any longer. I have some to realise, it is my entire fault.