Guilt and Hurt

Izzy Pettibone sat quietly on the dock, looking out over the water as the setting sun sent its warm glow across the world, and the birds sang happily in the trees.

"How can the world look so perfect, while my own heart is broken," she thought.

The last few days had passed in a blur. The canoe trip that had been meant for fun turned to disaster. Donny Lester, Hannah Hubble, and some of the other children telling her what the whole town believed to be true. And finally, Felix denying he'd ever said anything.

How could he have made a suggestion like he had, that he'd kissed her? He had lived in Avonlea far longer than she had, and should've had enough common sense to keep his mouth shut.

Tears slowly began to fall down Izzy's cheeks. She wished that as each tear fell, some of this weight could just be lifted off of her shoulders.

Izzy had just begun to think that she and Felix had been making some headway in their relationship. Why had it all turned around so suddenly?

If it had been the first time that Felix had gone and done something hurtful behind her back, she might of found it a little bit easier (a very, very little bit mind you) to even consider forgiving him. However, it wasn't the first time.

The first time had been about a year ago, when they'd started a fox ranch. As they were both too young for a bank loan, they couldn't rent a building to keep the foxes in. But, Felix had gone behind her back and asked Nat Lester if he was interested, as Nat was old enough to qualify for a loan. Then, Felix chose Nat over herself to be his business partner.

When Felix had gotten himself into trouble, it had been Izzy who had bailed him out. However, she definitely wasn't going to do that this time.

He had caused far too much pain, all for the need to puff himself up, feed his own pride.

After wiping the tears from her eyes, Izzy stood up, turned around, and saw Felix walking towards her.

Mixed emotions of anger, hurt, and somehow delight filled her heart. Why should she be glad to see him?

When she had turned to Muriel for comfort earlier, Muriel had said, "Oh, the pain of being young, and in love."

Did she love Felix? Did she? Izzy quickly turned, and started towards her home. One thing was for certain, she did not want to see Felix King tonight.

vvv

Felix King watched as Izzy practically ran towards her house. He had hoped to talk to her, but when she'd left so quickly, he knew that the last thing she wanted was to see him.

"It serves me right," he said to himself. "Of course she wouldn't want to talk to me. What made me say something do stupid? She'll probably never forgive me for this, not that I'd blame her."

He sat down on the exact spot that Izzy had been sitting on earlier and buried his face in his hands. He had just started to realize how much he really cared for Izzy, and as sure as day, he'd blown it.

For one of the first times in his life, Felix started to cry.

He felt so guilty. Saying what he had to Donny Lester had been pretty stupid, but he hadn't deliberately tried to hurt Izzy.

"No, it just comes naturally," he thought.

Izzy wouldn't even talk to him anymore. He needed to apologize. He wanted to apologize. Yet, how could try to talk to her, when she wouldn't even acknowledge his existence?

He immediately told himself to stop acting like a baby, and stood up. After wiping his hand across his eyes, he made a resolution.

He said aloud, "I Felix King, solemnly swear to do whatever it takes for Izzy to forgive me."

Then, Felix walked home, and everyone who saw him walking home that night commented on how they'd never seen Felix King look so determined before.

vvv

Meanwhile, at the Pettibone's house, Izzy paced the floor in her bedroom, praying that something good would come of all of this. For a miracle.