Disclaimer: Just to shake things up, I will now do the disclaimer in French: Je n'ai rien qu'est moi.

A/n: Hurlo….um….yes, so I've been wanting to write this since I saw the ending of the Christmas special, even though I was in the car when it came on and had to youtube it and youtube is stupid sometimes and….sorry, end rant. Anyway, I thought it was sort of sweet and hilarious that the Doctor belongs to a normal family now. So this was born. Enjoy. Review or I'll sick angry River on you.

"Family isn't blood. Family isn't years together or even having the important things in common. Family is simply a promise between people-an unconditional vow- to never let go of the other person's hand."

I stood in the entry hall and smiled to myself. So this was what it felt like. To feel all those humany feelings again. To have a family of sorts. People that I loved that loved me back, that would always be there and would never quit expecting me to show up.

She set a place for me…Glorious Pond, I thought brightly, reminiscent but happy. That's the thing about Ponds-they never give up. On anything. On anyone. I chose my friends well.

"Doctor, are you coming in or are you just going to stand in my doorway for all of dinner like a dunderhead? Crazy old man," I heard Amy scoffing from the living room and I grinned as the little Amelia's face flashed in my mind. I remembered the first time we met. She made me beans. And yelled at me for spitting them out. All Scottish-y and grown-up like.

"Oh, settle, Pond. I'm coming," I yelled as I started making my way down the hall. I hummed to myself as I walked. Da da dum, da da dee, Christmas with Ponds, lucky me.

I turned the corner to the living room. And stopped breathing. River. I couldn't move for what felt like minutes, but in reality was probably only a tenth of a second. Not good, not good, very very un-cool. See, last time I saw River, I um…..well let's just say it involved custard and her and me and she well…she told me not to…how did she put it? 'Get that sticky yellow stuff on her hand made French knickers'. Well, if she's mad at me, you can pretty much guess that I uh….didn't obey her. River Song was sitting on the couch, right in the middle of the Ponds' living room, all wild curls and evil smirk. She just stared right at me, well, stared is too friendly a word. She was actually glaring at me a bit, rather intently. She was grinning but there was a different light in her eyes-not just mischievous, but….anticipatory. She only looks like that when she's awaiting her revenge.

"Uhm…" I cleared my throat awkwardly…(is there really any other way to clear one's throat?), "Um….River," I nodded politely as I could at her, what with being slightly scared and slightly attracted…

Her smirk only grew , "Hello, Sweetie."

My eyes grew wide; that was her 'I'm planning something you really won't like, Sweetie' voice. Ok, I need to get out of here. Now. Really now.

I looked toward Amy, "Um, yes, so, thank you for dinner, Pond, but I uh….ate before I came. Gotta go."

"Ok, firstly….I haven't fed you yet. And also-you told me when you came in that before you came here you were reconciling the warring alien nations of Gabti and Menthes," she gave me her 'you're a horrible liar look'.

"Yes, well…doesn't mean I couldn't eat between the running and mud-wrestling."

"Mud-wrestling?" all three Ponds shot at the same time, raising their eyebrows simultaneously. It would've been creepy if I wasn't currently really scared of their daughter.

"….not the point."

"No, Doctor, it's not. But what planet were you on again? Galtha 4?"

I grinned, feeling suddenly joyful, "Yes! You actually listen when I tell you things!"

She seemed to be ignoring my comment, "Yes. And if I 'listened' correctly, I remember you saying something last month about Galtha 4 being a planet inhabited with races that DON'T eat."

….Bollocks.

"So….you are running. Why Raggedy man, why?" Ok then, weird suspicious Amy is slightly unsettling….

"I'm not r-running."

"You're also NOT stuttering," River piped up wickedly, staring down into her cup of tea all nonchalant.

I turned quickly to glare at her, "River, I swear, I'll find my own handcuffs if you don't stop."

She looked me straight in the eye and grinned wide, "Please do," she said, fully aware of the fact that she just made me embarrass myself in front of her parents.

Said parents then stared at me like I was insane, Rory showing slight to extreme anger mixed with his shock. Talented man.

"Uuuuuuhhh…yeah, I'll just finish leaving now."

"Oh, no you don't, " Rory stood up from the couch and grabbed my collar.

"What? What is this? Rory the Roman, why are you dragging me by my shirt?"

"And to the kitchen we all go to sit down for a nice, relatively normal Christmas dinner."

I rarely see Rory this authoritative. Makes me miss our old adventures….Wow, this is a really bad time to be thinking about that.

"I wouldn't count on the Doctor having good listening skills, Dad," River sniped, following us in and sitting down at the table, crossing her long legs, "Didn't last time," she muttered, purposefully loud enough for BOTH of the other occupants of the kitchen to hear.

Amy's expression grew incredulous, "I'm sorry…..have you two been having an on-going argument this whole time?"

I just looked at my shoes. Hmm….I need to tie that one.

River's only response was, "He shouldn't have dropped the custard there."

At her words I, for some reason-probably extreme irritation mixed with anger-forgot the rather important fact that we were not alone in the room, "Where else would you suggest I'd dropped it? On our bed? Should've just used it to grease my way out of those handcuffs you're so fond of. You know if you would've just let me use the fish fingers to eat it off y-"

I trailed off when I noticed the almost painful level of awkward consisting of Amy and Rory, Ponds, staring at me like they were trying to decide whether to yell at me or laugh at me. I'm sincerely hoping for the latter.

"You wanted to use fish fingers to do what exactly?" Rory somehow made raising his eyebrow look angry.

I gulped, "Um….yeah…I….take it away River," I mumbled as I tried to run for the stairs. Why I didn't choose the front door, I don't know.

"Sweetie, get your arse back here. This is your fault. I reserve the right to throw you under the bus to my parents, so to speak."

I hate when River chooses to be unhelpful.

"Which brings me back to my question, whatever were you going to do with the fish fingers, Doctor?" Rory raised an eyebrow at me and once again I was reminded of why many aliens have run from that stoic face.

"I was going to, uh, force her to dip them in the custard and eat them?"

Pond's right-I'm a terrible liar. I don't even believe myself.

"Sure you were."

Amy's smirk made me want to crawl inside myself and hide. Strange idea. But nonetheless true, and sadly I could find nowhere to hide.

I could see Rory's eyes practically shooting fire at me, so I cautiously put three feet between us.

I swear I saw him reach for his sword, right when Amy put a hand on his shoulder, "Calm down, Stupid Face. They're married, after all."

Rory only responded by raising one eyebrow and I believe that's the first time I've ever seen him with that sarcastic dubious look. It was usually on his wife's face.

"Yes, a backwards marriage that includes my daughter being locked away in prison just to protect him half the time."

River chose now to actually be defensive of me. Thanks for helping, Dear, "A marriage is a marriage no matter what, Dad. You should know that."

I got a strange warm feeling in my chest when River regarded her parents with a deep sincerity and pride in her eyes.

Amy's face spread into a smile, big and sweeping. One thing I always liked about Pond; her smiles can make you happy despite the tension or stress in a room.

"We know that, River. That's what family is; no matter where you are or what you have to do for them, you're always there with each other, in the only sense that matters."

Remember my statement about choosing my friends well? Scratch that: I chose my family well.

I'm not used to these strange humaney feelings and the strange eye-leaking, but for the Ponds, I can get used to it. I just pray I don't have to leave them…again.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind as I sat down for Christmas dinner with my makeshift, odd, little family.

Amy had set candles on the table and the glow from the flames lit up River's face and shined off her curls. I reached over the table, carefully avoiding the glazed ham and stuffings, to clasp her hand in mine.

I made a mental vow to myself to do everything in my power to make sure that I never let go of her hand. Metaphorically speaking.

"Doctor, quit mind-rambling and join the conversation."

"Was just about to, Pond."

A/n: OK, so I was sitting here waiting for my friends to text me back when I realized I had this unfinished on my computer. I meant it to be longer, and more in depth character piece wise, but you know, I think I like the sweet little fluff better right now. Enjoy and tell me if you want me to write a follow-up to this.

PS-Have you guys heard of the boyfriend tag? I did it with my best friends instead since my (unofficial) boyfriend is at Governor's Honors (He's a chem and Latin nerd) and can't text. Review and tell me if you wanna see any of those questions and conversations between my friends, my exybofyriend/best friend, and I. Also, once the smart dude texts me back, I'll ask him to do it. If you'd like.