AN: Hey All, This is my VERY FIRST Pezberry. Long Time reader first time writer you could say. I just seriously love the two of them together. Uhhh so yeah let's see how this goes. Please review. Constructive criticism is totally welcome but I will not tolerate flames.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Santana gets her point across to Rachel the only way she knows Rachel will understand.
"Lily and Rachel? Since when?" Quinn asks Britney and I looking at something over my shoulder. What the ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK? Rachel, my Rachel, is being pressed into her locker by Lily Benson. Ok well she's not mine but we've been fucking almost nightly for the past four weeks. In my book that quite obviously means we're exclusive. You know. Even if I still call her names and won't acknowledge her presence in public.
It's a sucker punch to my gut to watch Lily slowly run her middle finger over Rachel's collarbone and Rachel blush and giggle MY GIGGLE at Lily.
"Is Lily dating Rachie, Q? Cause I thought she loved San." I hear Britney ask Quinn behind me in a low voice that only Britney could consider a whisper. The question bothers me.
"No." I bark swiftly and before I know it my feet are stalking me toward Rachel and that disgusting women stealing bitch. Coming to a stop a foot from them I go unnoticed for a moment or two and that shit just does not fly with me. I decide enough is enough as Lily places her hand on Rachel's thigh.
"Back the fuck off Benson." I growl in my best HBIC voice. "I think you're a little too damn close."
"Or what Lopez? I don't think Rachel has a problem with where I am. Do you Rach?" She asks Rachel the question in a sickeningly sweet voice with a quick batting of her (FAKE) eyelashes and it nauseates me.
I shift my eyes to Rachel's face and I'm shocked to see her smiling at Lily and shaking her head no.
"See? So go find some business that's not mine. Got it?" Lily says smirking at me before turning back to Rachel.
Turning on my heel I stalk off toward the bathrooms. Once inside I yell for everyone to get out. A flurry of flushing toilets and washing hands and I'm soon alone. I slam into the furthest stall from the door and allow myself to do the one thing I hate to do more than anything. I cry.
I hear Brit and Q enter and soon they're dragging me out of the stall to talk about what's going on.
"O.k. S. Start talking and gimmie cliff notes. Its lunch and I'm starving" Quinn says. Her voice is demanding but I can see the worry in her hazel eyes. The last time I cried was after my abuelita disowned me for being gay. That was 5 months ago. Just before I started falling for Rachel.
"We've been fucking for 4 months. I mean absolutely, mind blowing, toe curling, and lose your voice sex. We've been doing it since that government project we had. I've told her how I feel two, almost three times, and she pulls this shit." I explain completely hurt. "I thought she lo-loved me too." A fresh wave of tears spill down my cheeks when stumble over my words.
"Why haven't you gone public?" Quinn asks softly.
"Because, Sannie likes to be popular." My eyes shoot up to Britney. "You do. That's why you can't love Rachie and it makes her sad."
"How do you know that?" I ask genuinely curious.
"Rachie told me." Mine and Quinn's jaws drop.
"She told you?" Quinn prodded gently whilst I mumble out a confused
"Rachel was sad because you told her that you didn't want to go to prom with her. She called me and asked me why you don't love her enough. I told her that you do but then she got really quiet and said that she didn't deserve to be a secret. That there are people that want her for real. Then she said she had to go to tap class."
"Santana. She thinks you're playing with her. Using her for the sex." Quinn stated as the understanding dawned on me. I was using her. The realization hurts. It forces the air from my lungs and makes me rush toward the nearest toilet to empty the contents of my stomach.
"How can I fix this?" I rasp out after collapsing onto the tiled floor turn toward Quinn praying she'd see the desperation I was feeling.
"Tell her." She states simply. "Those 'two almost three times' don't count and you know it. Stop flirting with other girls. Call her Rachel. Let her know that you want to date her not sleep with her. I'm not saying she'll come running back but I guarantee she'll notice. Rachel is the type of girl that needs to be able to show her love constantly. She's not needy she's just affectionate and you denying her that was basically a giant screw you and how you feel about me but we can sleep together. So I'm only going to say this once and then I'm officially on Rachel's side. Get off your ass and white knight her, be all the sappy crap that you hate. Rachel wants that stuff and if you really love her like you say you won't care." Quinn moves swiftly from where she was crouched down just outside the stall where I've taken up residence and grabs Britney by the hand and they leave me alone.
Gathering my strength I stand and walk to the sink surveying the damage. I look like a mess and quickly make the decision to skip lunch and the last three periods of class. Splashing a handful of water onto my face let the excess drip into the sink and hear the door to the bathroom open.
"Get the fuck out. Vete ahora" I bark at the intruder. Not daring to lift my head. I wait to hear the door open and shut again but all I hear is seven words in a voice that makes me shake head to toe.
"Are you going to look at me?"
I spin toward the love of my life. She's staring at my face intently and I turn my back to her I can't handle all of this in one day.
"What Rachel?" I say in what I'm praying is a strong voice.
"Just wondering where you ran off to?" She replies. The tone of nonchalance in her voice irks me. I'm in here tearing myself apart over her and she's wondering where I ran off to?
I want to grab her. Force her to listen, to understand. Mostly I want to force her to love me back. Instead I turn toward her. Not even bothering to mask the hurt I know is evident on my face.
"Won't Lily be wondering wh-where you a-are?" before she can even open her mouth to answer I'm storming past her and rush to my locker. Grabbing my back pack and keys I'm headed for the parking lot as I hear Rachel call my name. I ignore her.
Ok . No shit. Getting your heart stomped on and put through a meat grinder by the person you love most in a public setting really takes it out of you.
After the fuckfest that was my day I went straight home ready to give Rachel up and move to Nebraska or Oregon. Mami was home and noticed immediately that something was wrong. So after squeezing the PG version of the details out of me she told me to rest up because tomorrow I needed to fight for Rachel. Well what she actually said was '¿Qué coño haces aquí todavía el culo y ve a buscar a sus mujeres. La mujer de López no se dé por vencido.' But I decided I liked my translation better.
So now I'm woke from my dreamless nap and I'm ready to take mami's words to heart. Rachel Berry would be mine.
After 3 hours of stalking Rachel's myspace and facebook pages I came up with three ideas.
Sing (No shit Lopez)
Romantic gesture to prove she is the most important person to me (which she totally is)
Go on actual dates (No sex for 90 DATES to prove I want more than that)
These seemed perfect. I would be starting next week since I convinced my parents that it was a part of my plan to stay away from school including cheerios and glee for the next two days. Turning my phone off and staying logged off of any social networks (that stuff is damn distracting) I proceeded to find the prefect song. Finding on complete accident the song I would sing to Rachel in glee on Monday I moved onto the next part. A romantic gesture. This would be the difficult part. Romantic. What the fuck do I know about being romantic? Shit. That's what. Opening Google I type in "Romantic gestures for new couples." And decided that a midnight moment in the park would be perfect and just my luck there would be a meteor shower next Saturday. Rachel and stars? Let's just say I think the big 'G' upstairs was totally on my side.
I figure I'll freak out about numero 3 when we get there.
Monday morning came way faster than I wanted. After spending the past four days avoiding both Quinn and Britney I was not totally surprised to see the two matching scowls on their faces when I got to my locker. Quinn's immediately deepening when I hand her all 6 of my Cheerios uniforms along with my scrunchies, sneakers, pom poms, and letterman jacket all tucked neatly into my Cheerios duffle.
"What is this? Why aren't you in uniform? Coach is gonna freak out!" Quinn rattled off.
"Q, Take a fuckin breath kay?" I wait until she does and explain myself. "I can't be with Rachel and worry about my popularity. So I'm giving up Cheerios."
"What are you gonna do if she doesn't want you?" Quinn asks with a slight smirk. Ever the bitch.
Come to think of it though I don't know. And as soon as I think that thought I'm seconds away from the crying basket case I was last week.
"That wasn't nice Q." I hear Britney chastise Quinn only barely over the rushing in my ears. "Sannie its ok Rach loves you still. She just isn't sure you won't hurt her." Britney says sagely and gives me a quick hug before skipping over to Artie and plopping onto his lap.
Quinn looks me up and down and states,
"You look good." Before stalking off. Its as much of an apology as I'll ever get so I let it slide.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" I jump about a mile in the air and I swear my heart is in my feet.
Its Rachel. All red faced and so close and I want to kiss her. I want to cry. I feel my eyes well up and I decide to avoid her eyes.
"What's up Rachel?" I mumble. Why can't I talk to her?
"Where. Were. You. This. Weekend." Shes stomping closer and invading my personal space.
"Babe. There you are." There goes my heart again. Through a fucking meat grinder.
"Lily not now." Rachel growled and I can't help remember the last time I heard her make that delicious noise. With my index and middle finger rubbing against her G-spot and my thumb circling her tight clit. I had paused for a moment to take in the look on her face. Pure ecstasy at my hand. I can't handle this. I have to walk away.
Lily sees my obvious discomfort at her appearance and nickname for Rachel. I decide its time to leave before I make a fool of myself again. Rachel has made it damn clear that she doesn't want me. That she's chosen someone better than me.
"I have to go but," and I look Rachel in the eyes but direct my words to Lily, "Take care of her."
"Oh I will." She smirks at me and wraps her arm around Rachel's waist.
I turn and walk toward my first class in a haze. I'm in a haze. I just gave up. Made up all these plans to get Rachel to love me but I know that she deserves someone else. Someone like Lily who is popular but not consumed by it. Nice but not a pussy. Not an asshole. Someone that would love her back without a plan.
"So you're just giving up?" Puck asks. Mouth wide open confusion all over his face.
He had been gone last week to Columbus to visit his Aunt with his kid sister so naturally I had to fill in my bro on the shit that went down.
In response to his question I nod my head and chomp down roughly into my pizza slice.
"I don't deserve her. Britney was right I'm a selfish bitch." I answer after I finish chewing. "Plus Rachel has already moved on. She doesn't want me."
Puck shakes his head, gets up off the couch and grabs his coat.
"Lopez if you think Rach doesn't love you then your head is farther up your ass than Brit and Baby mama said. Look, don't give up ok. Just be all, I don't know, nice. Don't flirt. Just try to be nice. I'm out."
Imagine my surprise after 3 weeks of careful and serious avoidance (minus the random white peonies and organic vegan chocolates on her desk two weeks ago after her NYADA audition), to look through my peep hole and see Rachel (I still love everything about her) Berry on my front steps. She's got red eyes and her hair is a mess. Her jeans are loose and they hang low on her hips. One of her dads old Columbia sweaters dwarfing her frame.
"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR SANTANA!" She shouts at the door running her hands through her hair like a Goddamn tweaker spaz.
"What the hell Rachel? My neighbors are gonna lose their shit if you keep it up come inside and calm down." I yank her inside and slam the door. I turn and head up the stairs to my room and she follows stomping up the stairs. Once we get inside I quickly move to put as much space between us as possible.
"I should have moved on by now." She's pacing now and waving her arms around.
"You have. Lily is..."
"…on my last nerve. She's boring. She loves me because she believes she stole me from you, I let her think that because I was hoping, PRAYING that you'd fight for me and for a moment after the . That you could maybe love me enough to tell Lily Benson that you and I are in fact a you and I. Then Britney being so brilliant last night after I called sobbing following that embarrassing incident in the cafeteria…"
She's talking about me pussying out and hightailing my ass out of the cafeteria after I saw Lily sitting next to her.
"…and Britney informed me that you were completely in the dark. As I have also been about several things regarding you so sit down and let me straighten things out." She stalks toward me and backs me into my desk chair. "Stay here."
And I swear I ain't shiting you. She starts stripping. Her sweatshirt first while toeing off her chucks (they have baby chicks on them, a gift from Britney), then her jeans are shoved over her hips and my brain starts to turn into 'need to have my tongue on her' mush as I see nothing but skin, her panties and are bra nonexistent. And then she fucking straddles me. Like climbs into my lap.
"You don't get to touch me Santana. I'm explaining things to you and I need you to focus because if you do then you get to touch me." She's leaning all the way into my body and I can feel every fucking thing.
"I am not dating Lily Benson, She just can't take no for an answer. You quit the cheerios to woo me and never did. I foolishly hoped you would stop trying to avoid me. We love each other." She finishes her speech and looks at me hopefully. "Santana I love you. And you don't need to say anything back now…"
Suddenly it all clicks. This is Rachel offering herself to me. NO plans. No wildly romantic gestures and no singing. Literally. Mind- Blown.
Then I'm kissing her. I'm standing and her mile long legs wrap around me. And she's kissing me back and moaning. She pulls away from and seriously, what the fuck, I wasn't done with that mouth yet. But, ah fuck, if she's gonna put her mouth all over my neck like that then I don't really mind letting it go.
"Are you just going to carry me all night or deposit me on the bed sometime soon?" and that Ladies and gentleman is 'Dirty Rachel' and I fucking love it.
Slowly I move to place her down onto my bed. Immediately my mouth finds her collarbone. I have to tell her.
"Rachel Baby. Please." I pull away from her and sit at the end of the bed. "I have to say this."
I see her nod and move to cover herself up with the blanket slightly self-conscious. I'm faster so I pull it out of her reach.
"No No No, we'll finish that up in a second I just have to say this." Taking a deep breath I spill everything. How much I've loved her since the 9th grade. How I called what we had only sex because I didn't want to scare her off. I told her about the plans I had to woo her. I told her about my acceptance to NYU and my parents offer to get me a one bedroom in the city and my hope that she'd share it with me. By the time I was through both she and I were wiping away tears.
"Santana." Rachel is on me so suddenly. Straddling my waist and kissing me reverently. This is a different type of kiss. Its like. I'm attached to her. Its right at this moment that I know that Rachel Barbra Berry is it for me.
"Dios, eres hermosa. Yo no te merezco Rachel. Te amo tanto. Así que mucho."
"Make love to me." She whispers and I can't say no (not like I would, I may be in love but give me a fucking break I'm still me). I lean forward to place her back in the center of the bed.
I remove my shirt and bra first. I know my girl (Damn. I love the sound of that. My girl.) loves my tits. Always wanting to lick and suck on them. Definitely a boob girl. I move to my shorts first and am totally grateful I decided not to put on panties after my shower.
"San…" Rachael groans from the bed. I glance back at her and find her spread eagle with three fingers inside of her.
Starting at her toes I lick and suck my way all over her body missing her beautiful nipples and her snatch.
Shes moaning like crazy now, calling my name and begging me to 'just fucking fuck' her already. So I do. I spread her legs wide and inhale the beautiful scent that is her and go to fucking town. Thrusting into her hard with my tongue and my fingers. Sucking on her swollen clit until she's screaming.
"GOD…YEEEESSSSS…OOOHHHHHH GAH…SANTANA FUCK…AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Rachel wails. Her delicious juices gushing over my tongue. I can't stop though. I've missed her, this, too much.
Two hour, 3 Orgasms (each), and a two hour nap later I feel Rachel shifting in my arms. Nope, my Rachel. I gather her closer, mmm, now her tits are pressed against mine and my nipples harden against her.
"Santana I have to go home eventually. We have school tomorrow." She says giggling.
"You have your jeans, You can borrow a shirt. Swing by your place in the morning for your school shit and voila. Problem solved." I say latching onto a brown sugar colored nipple.
"Ugn, But, My dads…Ohhh…They must be worried about me."
"Baby they called after you passed out. I explained you fell asleep after we talked everything out, they didn't buy it but are totally ok with you staying the night." I'm panting now because her fingers are plucking my nipple in a fucking brilliant rhythm that has me quickly losing it. I suck roughly on her collar bone marking her. Mine.
"Yours. I promise. Only yours."
I lay my head on her chest listening to her heart. Damnit I'm crying again.
"I love you. So much. I…"
"I know. I love you too."
I have to ask her. It's a shitty thing to do but I have to.
"And Lily?" I'm holding my breath and she chuckles. Her whole body shaking in amusement.
"Baby. I never could stand her. And tomorrow while I smell like you and while I'm wearing your shirt you can stand next to me while I tell her that I would highly appreciate it if she would cease and desist her efforts in attempting to engage in a romantic relationship with me seeing as you and I are…"
"Rachel…baby quit all the words. I get it. Lily is done." The thought of her smelling like me, wearing my clothes, showing off my hickey, moving to New York, Getting married, watching her grow round and hormonal carrying my child. I'm sobbing now and I can tell Rachel is freaking out.
"What's wrong? What happened? Are you Ok?..."
I'm jumping up from my bed and rummaging in my dresser. This needs to happen NOW.
"YES!" I found my class ring. I leap back onto the bed straddling her and sliding the ring onto her left hand before she could figure out what was going on.
"…not now of course. When we're ready but Rachel I can't be just your girlfriend. You are absolutely it for me. And I swear once we graduate and all that I will totally propose the right way but for now. I am asking you. Please. Will you be engaged to be engaged to me?" I can't breathe my heart is in my throat.
"Yes. I will engage to be engaged to you." She's beaming up at me. Smiling that gorgeous 100000 Watt smile at me.
Then we're kissing and she flips me over onto her back.
I think I like being engaged.
AN: THE END. There MAY be stories to follow such as, Prom, the actual engagement, moving to New York, Auditions, College stuff, etc. But really that depends on how this is received. Review please :D