Chapter 1 – Look At Me.
"Oh no, don't even think about it, Nay, get your ass over here." The blonde girl exclaimed while pulling Naya's hand back down, causing her to fall on her butt next to Dianna.
"But I'm so hungry! Why won't you let me eat?" Naya protested, flailing her arms next to her head.
"Cause none of us has eaten yet either, we still have to film that last scene first." The blonde responded, pulling Naya so she would sit closer to her on the grass near their trailers.
Heather kept her head down, not taking her eyes off of her finger while she played with her engagement ring; somehow it had become too uncomfortable to look at her best friend since she had grown closer to Dianna, she had nothing against her, on the contrary, they had always been fairly close, but something inside of Heather would always start to boil and a weird heat would take over her and she felt her whole face turn a bright shade of red while her stomach insisted on fighting with itself and leaving her wanting to purge any existing food inside of it. So whenever she found herself alone with the two of them she gained the habit of playing with her engagement ring, just to have something else to look at, instead of painfully watching as her best friend slowly replaced her.
"Are you hungry, Heather?" A soothing voice interrupted her thoughts, snapping her back to reality as she turned her head and saw Dianna staring intensely at her while Naya looked at her new friend.
"Oh mh," She stuttered, trying to remember what the question was. "No, not really..." How could she even think about food while she was feeling like that? Food was the last thing on her mind.
"Stop it!" The brunette pleaded, laughing hysterically while Dianna tickled her sides.
Heather couldn't deal with those sorts of things, it was painful, and Naya was her best friend. Her. Not Dianna's. Dianna hadn't been the one to stay up until six am in the morning while Naya broke down in her arms after Mark cheated on her. Dianna hadn't been the one who watched as Naya cry and cry for hours curled up while Heather held her tight and didn't even get an explanation about what was wrong. Dianna hadn't been the one who stayed by Naya's side as your own boyfriend practically demanded for you to stop being Naya's friend. No, Dianna hadn't been the one to almost sacrifice her long term relationship because of Naya. Heather had. And yet there she was, twisting her engagement ring, wondering if she had done the right thing by saying yes to her boyfriend and risking losing Naya, who was clearly focused on someone else.
"Dianna, I can't breathe, oh my god!" Naya panted trying to escape Dianna's hands from tickling her more; suddenly she lost balance and her body fell on Heather's, who let out a small shriek from the scare.
"Fuck, sorry Hemo." Naya apologized as she straightened herself up, breaking their physical contact.
Heather pulled herself together sent a harsh look at the brunette. "I think I'm gonna go have lunch." The tall blonde stated as she stood up, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach.
"What? But we were going to eat together after mine and Naya's scene." Dianna responded with a disappointed look on her face.
"You guys are obviously entertained," Heather started, looking straight into Naya's deep brown eyes and electricity ran through her body.
Naya's eyes had always been Heather's weak point, she just couldn't fight them, it was as if every time their eyes met, their soul connected, and no words were necessary for them to speak, their eyes spoke to each other, and that was a state of vulnerability that Heather couldn't allow herself to be in, she got too scared that Naya would be able to know her true feelings, to know what Heather couldn't make herself forget, to know that Naya was the only person who her heart really begged to let in... So in that moment, Heather felt naked, as if Naya had stripped her from any wall or shield that she made herself build, she felt completely and utterly vulnerable. She tried to quickly look somewhere else, anywhere else, she couldn't take a second longer of that trance that they always found themselves in, and she couldn't help but wonder if Naya felt the same things that she did, or if she was the pathetic one who read too much into every single interaction between them, interaction that seemed to be slowly fading away, leaving Heather with a void inside her chest, a hole that no one else would ever be able to fill.
"Heather," Naya muttered when the blonde their eye contact. "Just have lunch with us." Naya's request made Heather's stomach twist and turn, making her almost break down right there and cry. She wanted to desperately to say "Yes Naya, I'll have lunch with you." "Of course I'll have lunch with you, Nay."
"You guys don't need me." She said instead, avoiding the brunette's gaze so she wouldn't have to fight harder for the tears not to fall. So she turned her back to her friends and walked away to her trailer, walking in without a look back.
She shut the door behind her and let her back rest against it; closing her eyes she let a tear slide from her right eye down her cheek.
It was starting to be too much to handle, they were clearly growing rapidly apart and Heather could do nothing else but to watch their whole friendship crumble. She looked down at her hand and twisted her engagement ring again, feeling her chin tremble from the memories crawling up from the drawer where Heather had forcefully pushed them into. The memories of how it all started, the memories of the day that caused the ruin of her most cherished friendship…
"Taylor proposed." Heather looked up at her best friend's face and forced a smile, trying to figure out why she felt her heart sink when she uttered those words.
"He-" Naya started, trying to find any sign in Heather's face that she was joking. "He what?"
"He proposed to me…" Heather's fake smile vanished quickly when noticing Naya's eyes turning into a darker shade and her lips opening in shock. "I…"
"What did you say?" The brunette interrupted, trying to make sense of what she had just heard.
"I said…" Heather took a step closer to her friend having the feeling that she was slowly stepping away from her. "I said yes."
The remaining light in Naya's eyes went out and only darkness and sadness remained, Heather's heart broke as she felt the brunette's facial expression changing, looking as if the whole world was crashing down on her. "Oh," Naya started, not really knowing what to say. "Well, congratulations, then." She didn't know whether to lie to her best friend and support her or admit that what Heather had just told her had broken her heart to pieces, but no, she couldn't do that, after all, why would her heart be broken? They're just friends, and friends should be happy for each other.
"Thanks, I guess…" There was not a trace of happiness between them, Heather stood in front of the brunette, with their bodies only a few inches apart in the middle of Naya's living room; Heather had called her, asking if she could come over because she had news, she sounded odd on the phone so when she got there Naya was already expecting not so good news, but actually hearing that Heather and Taylor got engaged was something that Naya had never been able to prepare herself for.
"Are you happy?" Naya questioned, looking down at her feet, trying not to look into her best friend's eyes as she replied. That was a rather tricky question for Heather to answer. Was she happy? Maybe. Taylor had been her boyfriend for the past three years so she had it coming sooner or later. Was she truly happy? Now that was a question that she didn't even allow herself to answer.
"Are you?" She responded; it was the best one she could think of. She really did want to know if Naya was happy, it was somehow strange how both of them were supposed to be jumping up and down and talking about wedding plans, but neither of them were surprised that they weren't, but they were already expecting it to be like this, so much that they had always avoided talking about it.
"Am I supposed to be?" Naya felt the familiar sensation of tears forming in her eyes so she turned her back to Heather and slowly wiped a tear that had escaped; she felt a hand on her shoulder, pressuring for her to turn around, but her body refused to and she resisted the pressure, making Heather go around her and stand in front of her again.
Naya lowered her head. "Look at me." The blonde asked, pressing her body against the shorter girl. "Naya, look at me..."
"I'm sorry…" The Latina girl whispered, not being able to control her emotions and letting herself break down and cry. Heather wrapped her arms around her best friend and stroke her silky dark hair.
"It's okay." She whispered back, taking Naya's face in her hands and wiping away her tears with her thumbs; she looked deeply into the brunette's eyes and they stood there in a trance for what it seemed like an eternity. She was so beautiful. Naya was the most beautiful girl that Heather had ever laid her eyes on, seeing her cry made Heather's heart ache every time. "Who was the asshole that made my baby cry?" She would think to herself whenever Naya showed up on her doorstep in a wreck, but this time she knew who that asshole was, that asshole was her. She made Naya cry. And that was too much for her heart to handle.
She slowly reached for Naya's chin and pulled it up, so that their faces would be at the same level. There was nothing she could ever do or say in that moment that would make the tears go away, that would make Naya's eyes lit up again as if nothing had ever happened. And since that day Heather had never seen Naya's eyes glow like before, they slowly started spending less time together as it was not the same; Naya always made up some excuse, that they both knew it was a lie, but neither of them had the strength to say or do anything, so the fire in their friendship simply started to go out.
Heather's knees gave in and she let herself slide down and sit on the floor, leaning against the door. She took her face in her hands and let the tears fall, and her breath quicken, and the sobs to take over her entire body.
"Are you happy?"
Not at all.